by Mary Nichols
Some of the men flopped onto the straw, others, too nervous to relax, paced up and down. Several minutes later the farmer came back with a young woman; both were carrying trays of food which they set down on the floor. There was a tureen of soup, some mugs, bread, cheese and pickled onions. ‘Eat,’ she said in English. She was, he decided, about nineteen or twenty, dark-haired and tall, but thinner than girls of her age back home. It made him wonder what life was like under the occupation. Did they have enough to eat?
‘You speak English?’ he queried, as the others, needing no second bidding, dipped mugs into the soup and set to filling their stomachs.
‘A little. My father has no English and you frightened him.’
‘Tell him he has nothing to fear from us. We are here to liberate France.’
She turned to translate and the man seized Alec by the hand and shook it vigorously, then went round and shook everyone else by the hand, speaking volubly as he did so.
‘Has the invasion begun?’ the girl asked Alec. ‘We heard rumours that the Americans and British had tried to land but they had been driven back into the sea.’
‘God help us if they have,’ Langford said.
She turned to look at him, but did not comment and continued to address Alec. ‘You are a long way from the sea.’
‘Yes. We are part of the advance and parachuted in four nights ago but we were blown off course. We are trying to find our way back to our own lines. Are there Germans about here?’
‘In the village. If they find you here, there will be reprisals.’
‘I understand. We are keeping watch and will go if there is any sign of Germans coming.’
She nodded towards the fast-dwindling food. ‘Eat, Sergeant, before your men finish it all.’
‘Langford, if you have finished, take Martin and relieve Corporal Glover,’ he said, helping himself to a mug of soup. ‘Tell them there’s food.’ Langford and Martin disappeared and he turned back to the girl. ‘Have you a map I can look at?’
She turned and spoke to the farmer and he went off and came back with a map. They spread it out on the floor and knelt down to look at it with the aid of the lamp. ‘We are here,’ she said pointing.
‘Good Lord, we’re thirty miles adrift,’ Alec said. He studied it more closely. ‘I remember crossing the river just there. And again there. And we went into that wood.’ He laughed. ‘Twice. I reckon we’ve been going round in circles.’ He looked at the girl beside him. ‘Where are the Germans?’
‘All around.’ She pointed at places on the map. ‘They were here and here and here. They may have been moved to go and fight.’
‘It’s nearly daylight,’ Alec said, folding the map and returning it to her. ‘We’ll have to wait for dark again. May we stay here?’
She spoke to her father, then turned back to Alec. ‘He says yes, but if anyone comes you must go quickly.’
‘We will, I promise.’ He spoke to the man. ‘Merci. Merci.’
The couple took the trays and disappeared and Alec’s men spread the straw out and settled down to sleep. Most were so exhausted they were soon snoring. Alec took a little longer to settle. His responsibility towards the men weighed heavily. His first duty was to see them safely back to their own lines, but if they ran into the enemy, he was not sure whether they ought to put up a fight or surrender. He supposed it would depend on the strength of the enemy and whether they were not too exhausted by their trekking about to give a good account of themselves. He didn’t want to put their lives at risk if he could help it. He certainly did not want to die himself. He had too much to live for.
Eve would be waiting, knowing he must be involved in the operation – ‘Overlord’ they called it – and she would be anxious, as would Florrie and his parents. He had probably been posted missing, which would be worrying for them, but the pilot of the Dakota would have reported that he had dropped the stick successfully, so it was just a question of getting back to the battalion. If, on the other hand, he were taken prisoner, then they would eventually learn that too, but it would take longer and he had no intention of letting it happen if he could help it.
He lay back on the straw, knowing he, like the rest of them, was stinking of river water and sweat and Eve would certainly not like to be near him in that state. He shut his eyes, attempted to ignore the sound of the others snoring and tried to picture Eve getting up, putting on her uniform and going to work, probably knowing more about how the invasion was going than he did. He went over again all that they had done while on that leave in the Lake District, walking in the hills, talking and laughing and planning, but most of all the feel of her soft body in his arms as they lay together in a big double bed, the sweet smell of her shampoo as her head nestled in his shoulder, the warmth of her as she flung a leg over his, her kisses on his body as she explored it with her mouth. He felt himself harden at the memory and turned on his side, away from the others. ‘Wait for me, Eve,’ he murmured to himself. ‘I’m coming back.’
Just before dusk, the farmer came again with more food, and by the time they had consumed it, it was dark enough to set off again. The girl handed him the map and a small torch. ‘You will need these, Sergeant. Good luck to you.’
They thanked their host and hostess and set off again, avoiding the village and striking out across the fields. With full stomachs and a map, they were much more cheerful and made good progress, chatting in undertones as they went. Once they ventured onto a road but were forced to scatter into a ditch when they heard the sound of vehicles behind them. A long convoy of lorries, a gun carrier and several motorcyclists, headed by a staff car, went past them at speed.
‘I bet they’re off to the front.’ Langford was the first to emerge from hiding. He was also the driest. Everyone else had hurled themselves into the ditch without checking whether it contained water. They were wet and miserable again.
‘Proves we’re going in the right direction,’ Corporal Glover said as they set off again.
As the light strengthened they looked for somewhere to lay up for the day, and encouraged by their previous experience, decided to try another farmhouse. Here they found only a middle-aged woman who spoke no English. She was clearly terrified and refused to help them. Alec begged her pardon and made a swift retreat.
The light was strengthening; finding shelter was a matter of urgency. ‘She’ll tell the Jerries about us,’ Alec said. ‘We’d better keep going.’
They struck out across the field, knowing they could be seen by anyone looking from the windows of the farmhouse. The knowledge lent wings to their feet and they did not stop until they had covered several miles. ‘We’d better lie up,’ Alec said. ‘Any stray plane flying over will spot us, and you never know, they may be on the lookout for us.’
There was a rough wooden shelter for animals in the corner of a field and they tumbled inside and stretched themselves out to wait out the day. A couple of black and white cows came to stand in the entrance, as if wondering who it was that had invaded their home. Trooper Smith laughed. ‘They make good sentries.’
Langford decided to milk one of them, catching the liquid in his mess tin. He drank deeply and offered the tin to the others. When it was empty he refilled it. ‘The owner of that beast is going to wonder why his cow isn’t giving any milk this morning,’ Corporal Glover said.
‘You mean he’ll be here soon?’
‘Well, the cows haven’t been milked, have they? Stands to reason.’
He was right. A man in his fifties plodded across the field, calling to his animals. Langford gave one of them a thump on its rear. ‘Go on, Daisy, old girl, go when you’re called.’
Daisy didn’t see why she should. She stood defying him, swishing her tail. The cowman drew nearer. The men tried squeezing themselves further back but there was no room. Alec drew his pistol and waited. As the man spotted them, he stood up. The terrified man turned and ran, the cows lolloping behind him. ‘Now we’re in trouble,’ Langford said.
There was nothing for it but
to leave. They crossed a field which was bounded by a hedge and a ditch. Scrambling down into it, they waded along it until they came to a village. They dared not move and stayed there the rest of the day. When it grew dark, Alec left them there while he went to reconnoitre. The place was alive with German troops. Hastily he retraced his steps and they set off again, away from what they had hoped might provide them with food and shelter.
Everyone was miserable and irritable and some of the less resilient of them were flagging. Alec chivvied them along with a mixture of encouragement and forcefulness. He swore he could hear gunfire, which surely meant they were nearing the battle lines. Alec was not sure how many miles they had covered when, in the early hours, they came to a wood. He paused, wondering whether to go through it or round it. He stopped the men to rest, while he studied the map. The wood was extensive, going round it would take much longer. On the other hand, it would be easy to lose one’s bearings if the canopy were dense. ‘What do you think?’ he asked Corporal Glover, as his number two studied the map with him.
‘We’ll take all night going round it.’
‘Just what I thought. There’s a clearing just there.’ He pointed to a gap in the green on the map. ‘If the clouds clear we might be able to see a star or two to give us a bearing.’
He folded the map and put it back in his pocket before rousing the men and setting off again, plunging into the wood. The undergrowth had been cleared near the edge but the further in they went the more overgrown it was and they had to hack their way through. Alec was beginning to think he had made a wrong decision, but it was too late to change his mind now. They struggled on and suddenly came to a well-used path which seemed to be going in the direction they wanted, so they marched briskly along it.
Alec, who was a few paces in front of his men, suddenly heard voices speaking German. He held up his hand and turned to signal the men to take cover. They scrambled back into the thicket beside the path. Alec crept forward to investigate. The trees thinned out and there was the clearing they had been aiming for, but right in the middle of it was a gun emplacement, surrounded by tents. Men in German uniform were walking about, their rifles over their shoulders, or sitting round a campfire eating. Some electrical wiring held a few bulbs which provided light for them, but beyond the circle of light, the forest was dark as pitch. They were completely at ease and unaware that their enemy was so close. He turned and crept back to the men.
‘Jerry has a big gun up there,’ he told them in a whisper.
‘How many of them?’ Corporal Glover wanted to know. ‘Could we take them on?’
‘That was what I was wondering, but we’d be outnumbered three to one and we haven’t much ammunition. If we tried and failed, we’d take casualties and the rest would be taken prisoner. We wouldn’t be much help to the war effort then, so I think we’ll try to get by them unheard and unseen.’
‘That won’t be easy if we have to go back into the wood,’ the corporal said. ‘We’ll make a devil of a noise crashing about.’
‘Quite,’ Alec said. ‘I propose simply to walk past them and hope they don’t look at us too closely in the dark.’
Trooper Smith gave a low chuckle. ‘You reckon we’ll get away with it, Sarge?’
‘Yes, as long as we look as though we belong with them and know where we’re going. And for goodness’ sake, don’t speak.’
‘I can speak a little German,’ one of the other men said. He had only joined the stick a day or two before they took off to replace someone who had gone sick and Alec did not know him as well as the others. ‘If they start looking curious, I could pretend to be talking to you.’
‘Right,’ Alec said. ‘Shoulder your rifles and get into double file and follow me. Don’t crouch and don’t hurry.’
They very nearly made it. They were on the far edge of the clearing and about to pick up the path again, when Langford tripped over a log and in trying to save himself grabbed the branch of a bush which snapped in his hand, going off like a gunshot. The next moment there was a shout behind them and then gunshots, which had them flinging themselves to the ground and wriggling towards the shelter of the forest.
Two Germans came running along the path, guns pointing. Alec’s crew, now under the canopy of trees, froze. The Germans went up and down poking the undergrowth, talking to each other. Everyone tucked their faces down and held their breath, not daring to move a muscle. And then a miracle happened. A pig appeared from behind them and trotted out onto the path, snorting in anger at having its sleep disturbed. The Germans laughed and went back to their camp, chasing the pig in front of them, obviously intending to slaughter and eat it.
It was a long time before anyone dared to move and then they crept silently away, giving thanks for their deliverance. By now Alec was beginning to think they were living a charmed life, but it would not do to be complacent. He would have to be even more careful; it had become a matter of pride to get his whole stick back to their own lines in one piece.
‘I saw one of those buzz bomb things today,’ Florrie told Julie one evening, ten days after D-Day. They were eating their evening meal in the canteen, which is where they usually met after the day’s work was done. Around them, others were eating, chattering to friends and exchanging gossip and opinion, to the accompaniment of the clatter of cutlery. ‘I was driving the group captain to London and it flew over our heads. We stopped the car to look at it.’
The girls functioned because they had to. Each day they hoped for news of Alec and each day they were disappointed. After a week passed with no news, they had begun to fear the worst, though they tried to comfort each other by pretending there was still hope. Published reports from the front were buoyant, but it seemed all had not gone to plan and the Allies had not been able to take Caen, which had been one of their early objectives. Resistance had been fierce and there had been casualties. Exactly how many was not divulged but the girls guessed they must be in the thousands. It didn’t bear thinking about.
The Germans, far from being beaten, were hitting back, not only in France but in the air over London and the Home Counties. There had been several incidents of strange explosions, with loss of life and terrible damage to property, which were not the usual kind of air raid and had everyone speculating. Only the day before it had been admitted officially that the enemy were using flying bombs, which had no pilots and simply ran out of fuel and came down indiscriminately to explode with devastating force on impact. They were aimed at London, but many came down prematurely in Kent. This was the secret weapon Hitler had been boasting about for years and it struck terror into the population. Hundreds of barrage balloons were put up to stop them and fighter planes sent up to intercept them but far too many of them got through.
‘Did you see it come down?’
‘No. It flew on. It was like a little aeroplane, a bomb with wings and an engine. It makes a kind of loud droning noise. You can’t mistake it. We watched it for ages. Then a Hurricane arrived and started shooting at it. It exploded and there were bits of it flying everywhere and coming down in flames. Some of the debris hit the Hurricane and I thought that would go down too, but it wobbled a bit, straightened itself and flew off. Group told me that some of our planes had been brought down by flying debris and the latest thing was to fly close enough to tip their wings and make the bombs fly off course, but they still can’t control where they come down.’
‘That must take some very precise flying.’
‘Yes. It’s worse than the Blitz, it’s so indiscriminate.’
‘I wish it could end, Florrie. All this hate and slaughter. I’m desperately tired of it all. I wish I could lie down and sleep and sleep.’
‘Aren’t you sleeping?’
‘No, I keep having nightmares and wake up in a sweat. I’m running along a beach and it’s covered with dead bodies, all swirling about as the tide moves them, and I’m searching for someone and getting more and more desperate …’
‘Alec?’
‘I don
’t know. I suppose it must be. I wish we could hear some positive news. This not knowing is getting me down.’
‘Me too. There’s only a little over a year between us and we were always close, Alec and I. It’s as if half of me is missing too. But I am convinced he’s alive somewhere, or half of me would feel dead. D’you know what I mean?’
‘Yes, I feel like that sometimes, not just about Alec, but about my loss of memory. It’s missing, but not dead. One day, perhaps, I’ll admit to myself it’s gone for good.’
‘Do you still have those pictures of the past?’
‘Now and again, when something triggers one off, but I still can’t make any sense of them, like running along a beach searching for someone. Why would it be Alec? I know I’m worried about him, but he didn’t go in with the seaborne troops, did he? And I’ve never been on a beach with him; they’ve been mined and off-limits ever since I’ve known him.’
‘I don’t know. The mind can play funny tricks sometimes. Maybe we’ll hear soon, but then I keep thinking, if the plane came down in the sea, we may never know for sure. Maybe that’s why you dream of searching a beach, expecting him to be washed up.’
Julie shuddered. ‘It could be, I suppose. One of the pilots told me the beaches in Normandy were awash with bodies.’
‘There you are, then. That’s what stuck in your mind and gave you nightmares.’
‘You could be right.’
‘I dread to think what all this waiting is doing to Mum and Dad. I’ve asked for leave to go and see them, but no luck so far.’
Julie was not Alec’s next of kin and so no official news would come to her and she would have to rely on Florrie being told by her parents. ‘I wish I could come too.’
‘Then ask. They can only say no.’
Florrie was granted seven days leave the following day and she went off telling Julie she would let her know the minute she heard anything. Julie put in her own request and continued her routine job, doing it almost automatically, while her mind was at Hillside Farm with Florrie and Maggie and Walter, and worrying about Alec. She had been reluctant to commit herself to him because of her loss of memory and the feeling that there was something in her past that could hinder their happiness, but he had overcome that with his love for her and good solid argument. He was her rock, the one stable thing in her life that kept her feet on the ground and gave her a future, if not a past. She had to believe he was alive, but the waiting to hear was unbearable.
