“So you can meet her and her husband.”
“Have you no sisters?”
“Nay.” He smiled. “What made you assume that?”
“If you did, then you would want me to meet your sisters first.”
“I have no siblings. My parents died when I was a child.”
They were both without parents. They had that in common. Rhiannon cleared her throat. “Do you think Geoffrey’s people follow us?”
“Aye, but they willna for long.” His smile widened. He was so sure of himself. “They willna find us.”
Rhiannon toyed with the edge of her borrowed plaid. William reached out, lifting her chin to him.
She pulled back. “Do not.”
William let his hand drop. His jaw worked for a moment, then he lowered his voice. “What did Geoffrey do to you?”
Oh, Lord, not that. “He manhandled me,” she said. “Is it not obvious?”
“What else?” he asked, his voice like velvet, begging her . . .
Tell him about anything save your impurity and the seed in your womb.
“Alice told me Geoffrey could not be trusted. I warned my father, but he said he knew, and that he had everything under control. But he didn’t. And now he and my mother are dead, stabbed in their sleep.”
“And you?”
She shrugged. “You already know what happened to me.”
He studied her for a moment. “Aye, I suppose I do.”
She wondered what he meant by that.
“Eat something. We need to ride out.”
* * *
That night, Rhiannon knelt and stretched her fingers before the fire, grateful for the warmth, as well as the privacy of having their own fire apart from the men. She was also grateful she hadn’t fallen off her horse, despite the fact that she had dozed on and off throughout the day.
Alice plopped down next to her. “My lady,” she said, her smile so bright Rhiannon had to blink lest she go blind.
“Connor seems quite smitten with you,” Rhiannon said. “I can see why you would be happy.”
Alice scrunched up her face. “There is that, but I am happy for you. You’re going to have a home, with men who actually guard you for your own protection.”
Yes, but for how long?
Rhiannon looked into the fire, her heart heavy. Even if she could successfully rid herself of Geoffrey’s seed, eventually she would have to allow herself to carry an heir for William, and she wasn’t sure she could do that.
“Has Connor asked you to marry him?” If he did, then Alice would be guaranteed security in her new home.
“Well, nay. It’s too soon for that. He might. In time.”
“If he does, let me know, and I will release you from your responsibility to me.”
“My lady?”
“I know you promised to stay with me. But have you not already done more than anyone could?” Rhiannon scooted around to face Alice. “You have been so faithful to me. Now I want you to have a good life. If you believe Connor can make you happy, then let him.”
Alice’s brown eyes widened. “But I cannot leave you.”
“You might have to. There is no way to know what will happen. He could still change his mind.”
“William?”
“Aye.”
“But he looks at you. He looked through the women at Laird Geoffrey’s hall. He looks at you.”
“Young men often find themselves in lust.”
Alice tucked her knees beneath her. “He is handsome, and he could have spent his nights with any woman he wanted, but he chose to spend them guarding your door instead. He married you!”
“He had no choice.” Rhiannon waved her hand. “He is the chivalrous sort. Geoffrey knew it, and set him up to that purpose. I was the perfect excuse for Geoffrey to take William down.”
“But it did not work for Laird Geoffrey, did it?”
“Nay, thank God, it did not.”
“You cannot be the first vulnerable woman to have crossed Laird William’s path, yet he married you.”
Rhiannon took Alice’s hand. “You want me to be happy. I understand that. I want you to be happy too. But I could never love him.”
“Cannot or will not? You should tell him everything.”
“Are you tetched?”
“Tell him. You will feel so much better once you do.”
“I cannot.” Rhiannon’s eyes stung. “I cannot tell him.” She struggled to her feet, her arm throbbing. “I need to walk.”
“I will accompany you, my lady.” Alice scrambled up next to her.
“I want to be alone.”
“But you cannot leave camp.”
“I know. I will just walk around it.” She blew out a breath. “I am not in a pleasant state of mind right now. I do not want to hurt you with my words.”
Alice’s face softened. “You could never hurt me, because I will always know that you do not mean it.”
Rhiannon hugged Alice, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She released Alice and turned away, her gaze lingering over camp as she walked. She didn’t see William, but knew he was somewhere nearby. He always was.
She decided to spend some time with Jeremiah. There was nothing better than a horse when one was in a sour mood. Angus and Charley laughed as she walked past their fire, and she had the impression that it had something to do with her
Connor left the other men, jogging toward her. “They didna mean aught by it, my lady.”
“I am sure.” She rolled her eyes.
“They woulda hurt you. Not for anything. And they know better than to come within ten paces of you without a direct order.”
She belonged to their laird, making her untouchable.
A surge coursed down her spine. The idea of being untouchable was enticing. It felt safe.
Blast those sticky webs of William’s. She could feel them adhering to the edges of her heart.
“Can I go now, Connor, or did William give you orders to follow me?”
“Nay, of course you can. Just dinna leave camp.”
“Yes, I am well aware.” Guilt pinched her stomach. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Go sit with Alice, please. I am afraid I have been less than kind today.”
“I will.” He gestured toward where the horses were staked. “William is brushing his new stallion.”
“I was just going to check on mine.”
“Imagine that.” Connor chuckled and walked away.
Jeremiah nickered to her as she approached. She pulled out a molasses cake, feeding it to him.
“I heard him call to you.” Familiar brogue. “Now he is useless to me in a battle.”
Rhiannon searched the darkness. Firelight flicked over shifting horseflesh, but she couldn’t see William.
“I’m here,” he answered her unspoken question, straightening from behind the younger stallion. “You are ruining my favorite warhorse.”
“My horse. I stole him, and seeing as you presented no charges against me, he is still mine.”
“Such sophisticated logic, my lady.”
She tilted her face toward the sound of his voice. “He should be retired now,” she said. “Be a lady’s mount.”
“A lady’s mount?” His pitch rose, more tenor than base. She could only see his silhouette in the dark. “Jeremiah? He has seen more battle than most men.”
“Precisely.” The stallion nudged her and Rhiannon stroked his charcoal muzzle. “Now he should be spoiled.”
“Is the same true of men?”
Did he say what she thought he said?
He laughed to himself, and she caught a flash of white teeth. Then she heard the sound of bristles on horseflesh and his smile disappeared as he moved. Rhiannon leaned against Jeremiah, young butterflies testing their wings in her stomach.
“I need to name this beast,” he said.
“I suppose you cannot call him The Stallion. Geoffrey probably just called him Mine.”
“It wouldna surprise me.”
She glanced up and caught him watching her. She couldn’t read his expression in the dark.
“I have never been good with names,” he said.
“What’s wrong with Jeremiah?”
Soft firelight caressed his tall, broad form as he moved closer to her.
“Do you have any idea how many times I was teased about it? Then again, I was teased all the time by my cousin.”
She laughed before she could stop herself. The thought of William being teased about anything was ridiculous.
“Was that a laugh, my lady?”
It was. She hadn’t laughed in months.
“Do you have another brush?” she asked.
He handed her the brush in his hand. She reached out to take it, but he didn’t let go. William tugged, bringing her closer. His eyes were visible, but the rest of his face bathed in shadows. For a moment Rhiannon was lost in them, and her past disappeared.
William tossed the brush aside.
“Might be hard to find that in the dark,” she said.
“I dinna care.”
He carefully drew her in, by increments, hands on her waist. She kept her eyes locked onto his, her breath shuttered. It seemed an eternity before he eased her into his chest.
“Am I scaring you?” he asked.
“Nay.”
“Are you cold?”
“Not anymore.”
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m not cold,” she breathed.
His nose brushed her temple. “You smell good, like ginger.”
“I do? I cannot smell it anymore. I just smell you.” Rhiannon backed away. “I hadn’t meant . . . I meant . . .” Nay, she couldn’t let him wind her in like that. Even if he was a good man, he still had needs she wasn’t prepared to meet.
She ran her hand over Jeremiah’s neck, clearing her throat. “How about Jamie?”
“What?”
“A name for your horse. It is simple. You are not likely to be teased for it. Not that I believe for a moment that you were.”
“You have not met my cousin.” He studied her for a moment, then ducked his head. “I think Jamie will do nicely.”
Rhiannon nodded. At least she could be of some use to him.
“’Tis getting late,” he said. “We should get some sleep.”
Her heart pounded against her ribs, and she wondered if he planned to share his bed with her. William offered his arm as they walked, but she ignored it, not touching him as they crossed back to the fire she and Alice were sharing.
“I do not think I am ready to go to sleep yet,” she said, stalling.
Alice was already wrapped up in fleece and woven wool. Connor sat nearby. He looked up as they neared. Rhiannon walked over to him and knelt down. “You have my permission,” she said.
“For what, my lady?”
“To marry Alice. Please, give her a good life.” Rhiannon stood and brushed herself off.
“My lady?” Connor questioned.
“Just say thank you.”
“Thank you.”
She turned to face William.
“Rhiannon,” he said.
She pressed her eyes shut. Her heart was the consistency of a basin of gruel. Runny, drippy, shapeless.
“William,” she said, just for the sake of it.
Heath crunched under his boots. She opened her eyes. William gestured at Connor and the man rose to his feet, leaving them. Rhiannon pretended to check the knotted fabric on her bound arm.
“I will remain awake for a time yet,” she said.
“Then I will sleep when you do.”
She nodded and sank to the ground before the fire with her knees bent. William sat by her side. The wind blew until she was toasted in front and chilled in back. She looked at the starless sky. Something about sitting in silence next to him made her feel tight in her own skin.
Groaning, Rhiannon struggled back to her feet. William helped her up, destroying any chance she had at dignity.
“Go away, you daft man. I do not want you. I will sleep with Alice.”
He straightened, pain flashing behind his eyes.
“I just . . .” She felt his pain at her rejection. “You don’t want . . . Just take my word for it.”
William removed his weapons one by one and set them aside. Rhiannon eyed the pile. Sword, pistol, sgian dubh, and a second small knife. He was his own armory. William flexed his damaged shoulder, wincing subtly.
Tears burned Rhiannon’s eyes as she watched him spread out the fleece. He pulled off his boots and his jerkin, leaving them with his weapons, then stretched out on the sheepskin and looked up at her. He lifted his brows in invitation.
Her breath caught and stuck in her throat at the sight of his long muscled body. Dark chest hair showed from between the laces at the front of his shirt. His legs, bare to just above his knees, were hard and powerful. She couldn’t believe she’d actually slept next to that last night.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“To feel safe.”
“You are safe.” He held out his hand.
Rhiannon looked at Alice, curled up with only her nose above the covers.
His hand remained in the air.
She took a step forward, her fingertips brushing against his. William drew her down, careful of her injuries. He unpinned his plaid and wrapped it around the both of them, then tossed a blanket on top. Defeated, she rested her cheek against his neck.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked.
“To keep you warm.”
“That is not what I meant.”
“Again with that same question. I want what you want. For you to be safe. Will you accept that as my answer?” His words rumbled in his chest.
“What if I cannot get used to you?”
What if I can never give you a child?
What if you give up on me and set me aside in a world I know nothing about?
He rubbed his chin against the top of her head. “Just go to sleep. I will be here in the morning.”
Chapter Nine
William rolled his shoulder, glad they were almost to Ronan and Triona’s hall. He hated to admit to it, but ever since his injury, any kind of extended travel wore on him. He wondered what Rhiannon would think of his jagged scar when she finally had the courage to see it—or more specifically, the courage to see him unclothed.
He looked at her on Jeremiah. She’d grown stronger over the last few days. She laughed on occasion, and smiled with increasing frequency. He knew he was getting to her, but was it enough?
The sun shone down on her burgundy waves. He liked it when she let her hair hang loose down her back. Rhiannon glanced up, her eyes wandering over him. She did that a lot, as if she were sizing him up. Looking away, she frowned.
Jeremiah snorted and tossed his head. Rhiannon spoke to the stallion in hushed tones. Perhaps she was right to believe the animal was now for her own personal use. Jeremiah might as well be hers, spoiling him with treats and womanly affection like she had.
William realized he was jealous of his horse. “Och, by the saints.”
Rhiannon looked at him.
“Never mind.” He gestured to Jeremiah. “I was going to retire him as soon as he managed to produce a colt I liked.”
“You mean one that is exactly like him?” Her green eyes caught the sun and gold flecks appeared. She was so beautiful. It was enough to slay a man where he stood. Bean-shìdh. If she wanted to, she could suck a man dry, leaving nothing but an empty husk behind.
“They never do,” she said. “You can get close, but never the same. They’re all different. I have this mare. She’s white with a charcoal muzzle and socks.” The light in her eyes dimed. “No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince her to produce a duplicate of herself.” The light in her eyes went completely out. “I suppose she’s Reginald’s now.” She shook herself. “How much longer? I have lost track.”
“Two more days.”
He hadn’t lost track. He’d gotten very littl
e sleep. It was hard to still his mind with her next to him, nestling close in her sleep. Nightmares plagued her. When they did, he would rub her back until she settled down. Once she said his name, and then frowned.
“I’ve never been this far north before.” Rhiannon shook her waves back. “Where have you been in your travels, my laird?”
He preferred it when she called him William, but she pronounced his title like she meant to tease him and it made him smile. “I have been all over Scotland, England, Ireland, France, Spain, and Sweden. But that is all.”
“All?” Her brows lifted. “This is the furthest I have ever been from home. Everyone I know is either in Hanover or the surrounding countryside.”
“Kin?”
“No one close. Except for the one you have already met.” She stared at the reins while he grunted an affirmative. “Most of my father’s family turned their backs on him when he married my mother. They were prejudiced.”
“Why?”
“Well she was-” Rhiannon stopped cold. “Was nothing.”
“Rhiannon?”
“She was Scottish.”
“Now that does make sense.” He looked her over and lifted his brows. “Explains how an English woman could be so beautiful.” She blushed. “Where was your mother from?”
“From nowhere really . . . just someplace.” A breeze blew her hair back. “In the Highlands,” she finished, her voice squeaking.
William wondered what was wrong with her, then something occurred to him. “Rhiannon, did she-”
“Spoke to me in it all the time,” she said in Gaelic.
It took a lot to embarrass him, and she’d succeeded. William’s neck burned. “Why did you not tell me you spoke my tongue?” His throat was closing up on him.
“My mother spoke to me in Gaelic, and I wanted to hear it again. I miss her.”
“Some of the things I’ve said . . . I hadna intended for you to understand them.”
“I know.”
“And yet you let me?”
“Did you mean them?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
She knew he was stalling. “Aye, I meant them. Why did you not stop me?”
“I can still hear her voice. My mother.”
“You let me say such things to you, just to hear words in Gaelic?”
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