by Cleo Jones
“What does it matter?” Aniyah repeated. “Zoë, if you love him, you owe it to yourself and to him to let him know.”
“Maybe I don’t,” Zoë reasoned. “Maybe I’m in love with Evan.”
“Uh-huh,” Aniyah said, giving her a sad smile. “Sure you are.”
Zoë looked away from her friend and focused her attention on the dim glow of the television set in front of her. A Golden Girls marathon was on, and though it had always been one of her favorite shows, it went without saying that she wasn’t paying attention.
“You need to tell him how you feel,” Aniyah spoke up again. “If it doesn’t work out, well then at least you can say that you tried.”
“Yeah right,” Zoë muttered. “That would require Audrey to let go of his coattails long enough for us to have a full conversation, and I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon. Especially not after the whole psycho girlfriend 'stay away from my man' spiel she laid on me the other day.”
“That bitch!” Aniyah exclaimed after Zoë finished giving her a play-by-play of what happened the other day at lunch. “You knew Nate long before that heaux ever did.”
“Right?”
“But with that said…I can’t entirely blame her…”
Zoë looked away from the television and gave her friend an incredulous look.
“I mean…she has a pretty good reason to feel threatened by you,” Aniyah clarified. “Call it female intuition. A woman knows when their man has feelings for someone else.”
“Nate doesn’t have feelings for me,” Zoë objected. “He made that pretty clear the last time we broke up.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. That man is madly in love with you, Zoë. Hell, even Caleb can tell, and he’s hardly the perceptive type. Just the other day he asked me why the two of you weren’t married already.”
“Really?”
Aniyah nodded. “Look, I know Audrey’s all dead set on becoming Mrs. Nathanial Cross…but I don't think he'll ever care about her the way he cares about you. You have to tell him how you feel before it’s too late.”
Zoë sighed and took a final glance at the picture before flipping the yearbook shut. “Easier said than done,” she muttered.
Chapter nine
“I don’t want to leave,” Audrey whined from the passenger seat. It was the fourth or fifth time she’d said it since they’d hit the road en route to the airport, and Nate was pretty close to going insane.
“I know,” he replied, reaching down to turn on the radio and keeping his gaze focused on the road. “But you have that show coming up. You’ve been working too hard to miss out on it.”
“I know. I’m just getting so sick of New York.” Audrey paused to let the implication set in and studied Nate’s face for a reaction. “I could really use a change of pace.”
Nate glanced over and gave her a rather unconvincing smile. It was all too obvious to him that she was fishing for a proposal, or at least an offer for her to move in with him, but he definitely wasn’t ready to go there with her just yet.
He wasn't sure he ever would be.
A deflated expression surfaced on Audrey’s face, but she averted her gaze out the window to keep Nate from seeing it.
“So uh…how did your lunch date with Aniyah and Zoë go the other day?” Nate questioned, attempting to fill in the awkward silence that had settled over them.
“It went great, actually,” Audrey replied with strained enthusiasm. “Aniyah is super excited for her wedding. And Zoë and Evan…well…he sure is nice, isn’t he?”
“He’s cool,” Nate replied with a shrug. In all actuality, he had never been a huge fan of Evan. He was an established chef who spent a large portion of his time out of town on his food truck, and it was clear to Nate from the few times he’d brushed elbows with the guy that he had quite the wandering eye.
Regardless, Zoë seemed pretty into him. Nate supposed it was the whole converted bad boy vibe he gave off, but aside from that, Evan was anomaly to him. He’d never known Zoë to stay with one guy for longer than 6 months, but she was going on damn near a year with Evan.
“It’s weird though,” Audrey continued. “Zoë never really struck me as the marriage type.”
“What?”
“Wait, you don’t know?”
Nate shook his head and tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he attempted to decipher Audrey’s remark.
“Wow…I’m surprised she didn’t tell you,” Audrey exclaimed. “Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't either. She probably wants it to be a surprise.”
“I highly doubt she would care,” Nate insisted, feeling his curiosity build.
“Alright, alright.” Audrey sat up straighter and smiled, appearing far too happy to break the news to him. “Well, apparently she and Evan are on the verge of getting married. She’s moving in with him and everything.”
Nate lifted his foot off the accelerator and contemplated pulling off onto the side of the road to take a minute to gather his thoughts. However, it was the peculiar look Audrey was giving him that kept him from doing so.
“Nate?” she questioned. “Isn’t that great news?”
“Uh, yeah,” Nate spoke up, finding his voice. “It’s great. I…I couldn’t be happier for her.”
Chapter ten
“How would you guys feel about Evan catering the wedding?” Zoë questioned, taking a sip of her saké. Caleb and Aniyah had gotten sushi for lunch, and they'd brought it back to her place to eat since they were in the neighborhood.
“That’d be cool,” Caleb spoke up before Aniyah could. “Aniyah and I were at the grand opening of his restaurant. He makes a mean filet. Tell him he’s hired.”
Aniyah started to protest, but a loud knock on Zoë’s front door stopped her before she could. “Oh that’s just Nate,” she said with an air of nonchalance, waving a hand in the air. “I told him he could drop by. You don’t mind, do you?”
Zoë was about to tell her that she most certainly did mind, but another knock stopped her before she could.
“It's open!” Aniyah called out.
Zoë’s heart rate spiked as soon as Nate walked in, and she frowned when she realized he was making a stark point of avoiding making eye contact with her.
“About time you got here,” Aniyah said as he entered the kitchen and took a seat beside her.
“My bad,” Nate muttered, reaching for a dragon roll from her plate and biting into it. A perplexed look muddled his strong features, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
“Where’s Audrey? “ Caleb questioned.
“Oh, she had to head back to New York,” Nate explained. “She has a couple gigs coming up that she couldn’t miss out on. The long distance thing sucks, but what can you do?”
“You could do like us and get hitched,” Caleb said, motioning between himself and Aniyah.
Zoë tried her best to avoid meeting Aniyah’s gaze as she eyed her for a reaction. However, the tension passed between the two women didn't go unnoticed. Nate honed in on them, studying their expressions in an effort to understand what it was they weren’t saying.
“Anyways,” Aniyah spoke up, clumsily attempting to steer the conversation back to normal territory. “Caleb and I finally decided on a venue for the wedding. It’s a really nice cathedral a couple miles from here. You guys are going to love it.
“Got any pictures?” Nate questioned.
“Of course she does,” Zoë answered before Aniyah could. “She carries that wedding planning folder around with her everywhere.”
“I do not,” Aniyah objected.
Zoë gave her friend an amused look as she picked up her purse and shuffled through it for the pictures.
“You weren’t kidding,” Nate said as he flipped through them. “This place is something else. It kinda reminds me of the church where my parent’s tied the knot.”
“Now if only I could find my dress,” Aniyah said. “I got a tip on a place though. This new intern at
my job gave me the card to this boutique in the French Quarter that specializes in bridal wear. Zoë’s coming with me tomorrow to check it out.”
Zoë groaned as though she was only just remembering. As supportive of Aniyah as she was trying to be, she couldn’t deny the fact that she was becoming more than a little worn out by all this wedding stuff.
“You can’t back out,” Aniyah pleaded, reading her mind. “You’re my maid of honor. I need your insight.”
“Alright,” Zoë said, sighing in resignation.
“Oh it won’t be so bad,” Nate chimed in. “Besides, it’ll give you a chance to start thinking about your own wedding dress.”
Zoë and Aniyah turned to look at him at the same time, both of them failing to mask the surprised expressions on their faces.
“What?” Nate questioned. “It’s only a matter of time before ol' Evan boy gets down on one knee, right?”
“Nate,” Aniyah hissed, snatching the bottle of saké from his palm. “The hell is wrong with you? Are you drunk or something?”
“Drunk?” Nate laughed and gave Zoë an icy look. “Nah, just realistic. Right, Zoë?”
Zoë broke his gaze and swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered.
“Oh come on,” Nate spat. “You don’t have to pretend for my sake. Audrey told me what you said at lunch. You’re marrying Evan. That’s great. I couldn't be happier for you. I’m just not understanding why you felt the need to keep me in the dark.”
Caleb failed to contain a laugh. “Yeah okay. If Zoë’s getting married, then I’m the Pope.”
Zoë started to speak, but Nate stood up and stormed out the front door before she could, leaving three very confused faces in his wake.
Chapter eleven
“Oh stop making that face. It ain’t that bad,” Aniyah said as she glanced at Zoë’s reflection in the ornate mirror in front of them.
Zoë sighed and patted down the multiple layers of lace that made up the gaudy dress she was wearing. “Yeah right,” Zoë said with a sigh. “I look like my mom.”
“And?” Aniyah laughed. “Zoë, your mom wore an Ines DiSanto on her wedding day. Looking like her ain’t exactly the worst thing in the world.”
“But it’s so damn frilly. And look at how long this train is. Who needs a train this long?”
“I guess it is a bit…” Aniyah paused with her finger pressed to her chin as she tried to come up with the right word.
“Tacky?” Zoë finished for her, spitting out the first fitting adjective that came to mind.
“Okay, you’re right,” Aniyah agreed, shaking her head. “It’s pretty bad. Try on that other one I picked out. The strapless one. I got a good feeling about it.”
“Oh come on,” Zoë objected. “This has gotta be the 10th one you’ve made me try on. I thought today was about finding you a dress. You’re the one getting married here. Not me.”
“I know, but this is the last one. It's going to look great on you, trust me on this. Just look at the detail in the beading.”
Zoë sighed and grabbed the hanger from her friend as she made her way back inside the changing room. With a slight struggle, she pulled the downy monstrosity she was currently wearing off of her body and wiggled into the next one.
This one, however, was far better than the last. After zipping up the back and adjusting the fabric around her waist, Zoë took a step back and gasped when she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Aniyah was right. It fit her like a glove. The design was simple yet elegant, with beautiful sheer accents and a fitted bodice that perfectly hugged her curves.
“So?” Aniyah called out through the door. “How does it look?”
Instead of responding, Zoë stepped out of the dressing room and did a slow twirl for Aniyah to see herself.
“Giiiirl,” Aniyah exclaimed with wide eyes, clamping her mouth in shock. “You look...wow. Just wait until your future husband sees you in that. He’s gonna lose it.”
Zoë’s smile faded at the mention of her “future husband”. For reasons she still wasn’t willing to admit, all it made her think about was Nate. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since his quick dash from her place the night before, and when she tried to call him she only got his voicemail.
It was more than a little obvious that he was avoiding her.
Aniyah noticed Zoë’s vacant expression and sighed. “You still haven't heard from him?” she questioned, reading her mind.
Zoë shook her head.
“Ugh.” Aniyah sucked her teeth. “Y’all are the most exhausting individuals I know.”
“What?” Zoë frowned at her. “Now just how am I the one at fault here? Nate was the one acting all sketchy last night. Not me.”
“Oh please. Don’t act like you don’t know what he was so worked up about. I’m too hungry to deal with your denial right now.”
“I’m not in denial,” Zoë shot back. “I really don’t understand why he acted like that.”
“Uh-huh,” Aniyah replied, rolling her eyes. “In that case, you’re naïve, and that’s really just as bad. Look…there’s nothing complicated about this. Of course Nate was going to react like a wounded puppy after finding out that you’re considering marrying someone who isn’t him. Honestly, I’d expect nothing less.”
Zoë flinched as though she’d been slapped. Aniyah’s words reiterated everything she already knew to be true, but she was far too stubborn to admit it.
“I know you two,” Aniyah continued. “I’ve watched you tiptoe around your feelings for each other my entire life. Y’all have broken up and gotten back together more times than I can count. It's a never-ending cycle with you two. All I know is…this is the kind of dress you wear for a man who really loves you.” She paused to give Zoë a chance to consider her words, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “Not the one you settle for.”
Chapter twelve
Nate sat at his desk and drummed his fingertips against the towering stack paperwork in front of him. He'd been staring at the same document for almost 20 minutes now, not actually reading it so much as using it as an excuse to seem busy should anyone walk by his office.
Nate was in a funk. Ever since he'd heard the news about Zoë and Evan, he felt as though he’d been operating on autopilot. No matter what he did, he just couldn’t shake the feeling of resentment that had taken up residency inside of him. It brought attention to the very thing he’d been trying to avoid the most: that he still had feelings for Zoë. Strong feelings. Feelings he wasn’t ready to have snuffed out for good.
Nate clenched his jaw in a weak attempt at blocking out the thought, but his efforts proved futile. His agitation weighed him down like a ton of bricks, and no amount of self-rationalization would make it lift.
All Nate could think about was the fact that he’d never be able to find his way back to Zoë now. When they dated other people in the past, it was always abundantly clear that they’d fall back into their usual routine eventually. Maybe not right away, but eventually. Significant others came and went with the seasons, but they remained each other’s constant.
The fact of the matter was, Nate didn’t want to be just friends with Zoë. Those were nothing more than hollow words they’d used in the past to avoid acknowledging their true feelings for each other.
Nate was just about to head into the break room to refill his coffee mug when his phone rang, offering him a distraction from his thoughts.
“Nate?” Audrey questioned as soon as he picked up. “I’m not interrupting you at work am I? I figured you’d be on break by now, but I called your cell and you didn’t answer.”
“Nah, it’s all good,” Nate clarified. “I’ve just been having a bit of an off morning and I’m a little backed up on things. I’ve got a deadline coming up and I’m nowhere close to meeting it.”
“Well I just wanted to hear your voice,” Audrey said. “I already can’t wait to get back home. I miss you so much. I swear…this long distance thing is getti
ng harder and harder.”
“Tell me about it,” Nate replied, although he didn’t sound all that convincing.
Nate thought back to Audrey’s visit. While he’d spent the week with her, he’d have been lying if he said he wasn’t consumed by thoughts of Zoë the entire time. Not that it mattered. There was no one-day for them. Zoë had Evan now, and while he definitely wasn’t Nate’s favorite person in the world, it wasn’t like he was the worst possible guy she could end up with. It was obvious that he made her happy, and Nate wasn’t about to be the one to ruin that for her.
