‘That poor man has just been in, you know, the one all alone on his honeymoon?’ She smiled. Her face looked kind of odd – I’d hardly ever seen her crack anything more than a grimace before and it looked so unnatural.
‘Oh yes?’ I replied casually.
‘I really feel for him,’ she said. ‘He’s a lovely guy. I’ve told him he can come in here for a glass of cucumber water and some company any time he wants. That girl who left him doesn’t know what she’s done. Men like that are rare.’ She shook her head and went back towards reception.
When I left work, it was already dark and the ship was well on its way to Civitavecchia, the port we’d stop at for Rome. I decided to take a walk on the promenade deck. I breathed in the salty lukewarm air as the breeze embraced me. It was refreshing after being cooped up all day. I’d decided on one lap of the deck before sloping off to my cabin, since my hair was greasy and I desperately needed a shower I didn’t fancy socializing.
I’d just passed the aft section and was walking around the starboard quarter when I saw a figure leaning on the rail, staring out into the blackness. I was about to walk on, but something about the stillness of his body compelled me to slow down and check he was okay. We didn’t often get louts on board, but we did sometimes find guests who’d drunk too much and needed escorting safely back to their cabin. It wasn’t until I was a few metres away that I recognized who it was.
‘Ben?’ I asked gently. ‘Are you okay?’
He looked up slowly, rubbing his face with his hands as he did. His eyes were moist and reddened, as if he’d been crying. When his eyes met mine, a wave of pain hit me in the stomach. I hated to see people hurt and I’d seen that look in the mirror before: vacant, sad, and helpless. He shook his head and clamped his jaw together so tightly I could see the muscles contract.
‘I know,’ I said softly, placing my hand on his arm.
‘I’m not really one for talking, but I could do with some company if you have a bit of time?’
I looked around the deck. It was quiet but somebody could come past. ‘I’ll tell you what, come up to the spa in five minutes and we can talk there.’
He nodded, and I patted his arm before heading back up to the spa. I unlocked the door, looking around to make sure nobody saw me, my heart racing as I slipped inside. Leaving the lights off, I made my way into the small kitchen area at the back and put the kettle on. There was a knock at the door. Blood pumped around my ears – what if it was a staff member coming to ask questions?
I was relieved to see Ben leaning against the glass. ‘Come in.’ I grabbed his arm and yanked him inside before locking the door. ‘Go straight into the room with the light on.’
Under the harsh fluorescent light of the little storeroom, I could see how deeply the pain was etched into his face. It was like looking at myself the previous year. ‘Tea or coffee?’ I asked, wanting to give him a moment.
‘Coffee, please,’ he replied, his voice croaky. I started to make the coffee.
‘It will get easier, you know. I’m a perfect example of someone who’s come out the other side of a breakup.’ I handed him his coffee. ‘I know it’s a cliché, but it really does get easier.’
He traced the pattern on the cup with his finger, his eyes following the movement. ‘It’s not so much her – we’d grown apart and I accept that. I don’t know, the wine at dinner and the sea air are sending me soft, perhaps.’ He took a sip of his coffee, a pensive look in his eyes.
‘I don’t think you’re soft,’ I said. ‘I think you’re incredibly strong, to have come here on your own to try and make the best of a bad situation.’ I leant back against the work surface, creating a bit of space between us and giving me the chance to look at him. It was the last thing I should have even thought about, but I couldn’t help but admire him all dressed up in his fitted tux.
‘At dinner, I’m on a table with three older couples who’ve been great. They’ve really taken me under their wing – I watch the evening shows with them and go to the pub quiz and things like that. They’ve even invited me ashore with them, but to be honest, I’ve enjoyed that time alone.’ He looked up and held my gaze for a second, sending a shiver down my spine.
‘Anyway, I don’t know if it was the wine they plied me with plus the fact everyone was dressed up and the quartet was playing in the atrium …’ He let out a long breath. ‘It just reminded me of a wedding.’ He paused but I didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say. I knew words couldn’t help. ‘It reminded me of what I wanted when I asked Lydia to marry me in the first place, marriage – children perhaps. The accident changed all of that.’ He fell silent.
I wanted to ask what happened but he’d tell me if he wanted to. I knew what it was like having Jen ask constant questions about my divorce when I wasn’t ready to talk.
‘I’d come so close to death that it scared me. I became almost reclusive. It’s ridiculous really when I think about it – I should have wanted to live more – make every day count.’
‘It’s not ridiculous. And don’t think it’s over either. It didn’t work out with Lydia but it doesn’t mean you won’t meet someone else. You’re gorgeous, friendly, funny …’ I broke off, surprised how forward I’d been. I didn’t mean to sound interested. Perhaps it was already too late. He looked up at me, his expression unreadable. I swallowed hard. ‘You don’t need to worry is all I mean.’
‘I know. Like I said – too much wine.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘So what about you, are you hoping to meet someone else?’
I shook my head. ‘It’s not something I’ve thought about. To be honest, I’ve been quite content living a life at sea in this micro-community we have here so I haven’t missed being with someone. In fact I was only recently craving more time alone. There isn’t much room for that on board.’ The only future I’d ever planned had been with Daniel, just the two of us, since he didn’t want any children. Now that was all gone, I still hadn’t figured out what I wanted the rest of my life to look like.
‘So how does it work then, this cruise ship business?’
‘Why, you’re not thinking of a life at sea too, are you?’
He smiled. ‘No, I’m happy where I am in Cheshire. I love my job and my apartment.’
‘I can relate to that.’ I sighed. ‘Well, on board, we usually have a nine-month contract and once that ends, we have to reapply for the same job, or a different job, depending on what you want. I’ve thought about another contract after this one. There’s another ship that leaves the Mediterranean at the end of summer and heads through the Suez Canal and the Red Sea, then docks at Oman, Dubai, Abu Dhabi. After that it goes across to India and then South East Asia. I’d get to see so many more places, but on the other hand, I’d quite like the freedom of taking a year off to go backpacking.’
‘I can’t argue with that.’ He smiled, sipping the last of his coffee.
‘How was Pisa?’ I asked, slipping into ‘stock question’ mode. On this occasion, however, I was genuinely interested.
‘Busy and hot. I’m glad I went though; it was great to see.’
‘And did you get the photo?’ I raised an eyebrow.
He looked puzzled. ‘The photo?’
‘You know, the obligatory shot of you propping up the leaning tower?’
He smiled. ‘Ah, that one. Of course I did!’ He slipped his phone out of his pocket.
‘So there’s the cool, “prop it up with my elbow” standard shot. The “aggh, this-tower-is-so-heavy, two-handed struggle” shot and then the one of me picking it up looking ready to escape into the distance.’ I laughed at the facial expressions he pulled to accompany the shots: chilled out, struggling, and mischievous.
‘I think you missed your calling in Hollywood,’ I joked.
‘Oh I didn’t miss it, I just don’t have the space for all of those OSCARS and Golden Globe awards in my apartment.’ I rolled my eyes good-humouredly. ‘Anyway,’ he continued, ‘do you have any plans for tomorrow?’
&nbs
p; ‘I’m working, why – don’t you?’ I asked curiously remembering him looking forward to Rome.
‘I wanted to do a tour, but the ones for Rome were completely booked up. I left it far too late. So I wondered if you’d fancy being my tour guide but if you’re working, I guess not.’’
I desperately wanted to say yes. ‘Duty calls I’m afraid.’ I had a half-day covering Marion so she could pop into Civitavecchia to stock up on personal items. His face dropped a little.
‘No problem. I just thought you’d be a good guide, that’s all, especially since you helped us find the ship so wonderfully yesterday.’ He grinned.
‘Yes, I was good. You’re mocking me, mister, but once you enter those narrow streets, there’s only a fifty per cent chance you’re coming back out. That’s why the buildings are so tall – they have to accommodate all the people that can’t find their way back out.’
He caught my eye and laughed. ‘Is that right? In that case, I don’t know how I’ll tackle Rome alone – do you sell your own line of satnav?’
‘I could ask Kristy to swap shifts,’ I blurted out before I could stop myself. His eyes brightened, but I immediately regretted my decision. I’d have to tell Kristy what was going on.
‘It’d be great to be shown around by a seasoned pro like you.’ He looked at me hopefully.
‘Okay, I’ll ask her. If she says yes, we’ll need an early start. There’s so much to see.’ I felt a rush of excitement.
‘So how will I know if she does say yes?’
‘I’ll call your cabin in the morning, at about seven a.m. I’ll need your cabin number.’ I went out to reception and picked up a pen and an appointment card. ‘Here, write it on there.’
‘We can leave the ship at seven-thirty tomorrow. Shall we meet somewhere shortly after?’
‘Yes, head towards Civitavecchia centre and there’s a taxi rank near a car park.’ I had no idea how to explain where it was. ‘Give me the card; I’ll draw a map.’ I took the card and drew the route he’d need to take. ‘It might be busy, and if there are any crew members around I’ll have to stand alone in the queue. You may even need to drive around the corner and wait for me to meet you. Rome will be okay. Most crew members won’t bother. If they’re free they’ll head in to Civitavecchia where it’s cheaper to shop.’ I was babbling, excited at the thought of sneaking around with Ben. I gave him the card back and keyed his cabin number into the ‘notes’ section of my phone instead.
‘Okay, it sounds like we have a plan.’ He stood up, towering above me by a good eight inches, his large frame imposing. He was so close in the small room I could smell his fresh, crisp aftershave, which I was starting to think of as his ‘signature scent’.
‘I’ll call you then,’ I said, but he didn’t move. His eyes locked on mine for a moment before he nodded, breaking the spell.
‘Thanks for the coffee and chat.’ He placed a hand on my shoulder. ‘And sorry if I came across as a bit pathetic. I don’t know where the emotions came from.’
‘It happens. I think everything has happened so quickly, you’ve probably not had time to process it.’
‘Maybe,’ he said, placing his hand on the doorknob. ‘See you tomorrow. Hopefully.’
‘Goodnight, Ben.’ I heard the key turn in the lock and the glass door close behind him. I washed the cups and headed back down to my cabin, hoping Kristy would be there. I had no idea if she’d agree but she was out when I got there anyway, so I decided to head to the bar.
‘George, have you seen Kristy?’ I asked. It was quiet, and he was cleaning the spirit bottles hung behind the bar.
‘She was in here earlier. She had a drink with Pete and Britney and left at about nine p.m., but I don’t know where she went.’ He shrugged. ‘Where have you been, Hannah? I don’t see you any more.’ he said.
‘Sorry, George, work is so busy.’ I felt a pang of guilt for not spending much time with George, but I had to dash.
Instead of looking disappointed, his eyes glinted. ‘You have a found a man.’ I stared at him gobsmacked, firstly because I’d spent time with one for the first time in ages and secondly because it wasn’t even the correct reason; yet he was still right.
‘I wish.’ I winked, before leaving with a smirk.
I checked the promenade deck but there was no sign of her so I headed down to Pete’s cabin to see if she’d gone to hang out there. The lift was full, so I decided to walk down the corridor to the mid ship one, and as I did, I saw her slip out of a cabin. I was on deck five, which as far as I knew was for guests only. I ducked into a nearby laundry room before she could see me. When I came out she’d gone.
One of the stewards was walking towards me so I smiled at him. ‘Can you tell me who that cabin belongs to?’ He eyed my badge suspiciously, so I lied on the spot. ‘I’m supposed to be delivering a message from the spa to a passenger, a Mr Ben Huxley, but I think I have the wrong room number.’
‘Ahh yes, I’m sorry, you do. This is not a room for guests – this is an officer’s room.’ He walked off. An officer’s room? I went straight back to my cabin and jumped in the shower, all the time wondering why on earth Kristy would be coming out of an officer’s room. Especially after that warning she’d given me on my first day. I’d been terrified of them ever since. I wondered which officer it was. Whenever I’d dared glance over to them, I’d noticed that a few of them were handsome.
When I came out of the bathroom, Kristy was lying on her bed, flicking through her phone. ‘George said you were looking for me.’
I decided not to ask her why she was in the officer’s room. I didn’t want to hinder my chances of her covering for me. ‘I was.’ I batted my eyelashes animatedly. ‘I had a favour to ask.’
She sighed. ‘What is it?’
‘I just wondered if you wouldn’t mind covering my afternoon shift tomorrow.’ I stopped there, hoping she wouldn’t ask any questions.
‘Why?’ Of course she’d ask questions.
‘I really wanted to go in to Rome. I haven’t been in the Colosseum yet, and this could be my last chance.’
She huffed and thought for a moment. ‘I suppose so, but you owe me one.’
I had to stop myself from jumping up in excitement. ‘Thank you, Kristy,’ I said, giving her a hug. ‘You’re a star.’
Chapter Thirteen
At seven a.m., Kristy had already gone up to the gym and I was pacing the cabin nervously. My worry shifted from: the risk of getting caught, to whether it would be awkward spending so much time together, and on to whether or not I’d be a good enough tour guide. I forced myself to pick up the receiver and dial his cabin number. He picked up after the first ring.
‘Hello, First Officer Johnson here,’ a deep voice answered. I froze. For a split second, I almost panicked before realizing Ben was joking.
‘Hilarious! I could just go to Rome without you,’ I retorted.
‘Does that mean you can come?’ he asked hopefully.
‘Yes. Now remember the plan. I’ll see you shortly.’
I’d put on a red flowery sundress. It probably wasn’t the most discreet item of clothing I could have chosen for my covert adventure, but it was a skater style and the flared skirt did wonders for my figure. I wore flat sandals in a buttery tan leather, which I knew wouldn’t rub, and I had my messenger bag and a straw hat. I was ready to go.
As I left the ship I slipped on my sunglasses and made my way to the meeting point, adrenaline pumping around my body. The coast was clear. I spotted Ben at the front of the taxi queue. When he saw me approach him he climbed in, leaving the door open so I could slide in next to him.
‘Good morning,’ he said cheerily. ‘You’re looking lovely today.’
‘I washed my hair,’ I said, smiling. I pulled out a piece of paper from my bag, which I’d written our itinerary on. ‘Right, I think we should head to the Colosseum first. It opens at half past eight and we should be in Rome around that time. We might even beat the queues.’
‘Ok
ay, boss.’
‘Si prega di andare al Colosseo,’ I said to the taxi driver, who turned his head and smiled at me. Ben looked at me and raised his eyebrows and I shrugged.
‘You speak Italian?’
‘Maybe a little.’ I smirked, thankful my bravery paid off and the driver understood me.
‘So, here I am in a car with a stranger who could be saying anything to the driver and I’d be none the wiser.’ He put on a high-pitched voice to mimic mine and said, ‘Take us to the disused quarry, and can we drive past a hardware store on the way? I need to pick up some things.’
‘Don’t be silly. I don’t need to go to the hardware store. The driver’s got everything I need in the boot.’ I winked.
When we arrived at the Colosseum, Ben gazed up at the impressive structure. I could tell by his face he hadn’t expected it to be quite so magnificent. I loved that he was interested in history and buildings. It gave him an intriguing layer that Daniel never had.
We bought our tickets and entered the underground section of the Flavian Amphitheatre. It wasn’t my first visit but I’d not been inside before and so the feeling of awe remained. The guide took us down tunnels, showing us where the animals had been caged and where the gladiators had waited to go out and fight. As he talked us through the life of a gladiator I enjoyed stealing glances at Ben, catching him in awe of his surroundings.
Next, we headed up to the arena floor and were greeted by the vast open elliptical stadium. The stone, with its reddish tinge warmed by the sun, stretched up to the sky – three floors of arcades and a fourth floor of windows. The view of a gladiator. The bravery of stepping out into the arena was something else – it certainly put my life into perspective. Toying with the idea of travel then wondering if I should stick to the safer option of working on the ship. Getting on a thirteen-hour flight to stay in some decent hostels didn’t compare to stepping out into an arena with a good chance of being ripped apart by a lion.
The best view of all was from the third tier. Ben and I rested our arms on the wall in front to lean forward and admire the magnificent sight. We could see the entire amphitheatre, the crowds shuffling around the main viewing area, the tunnels we’d walked earlier and the tiers below. In the other direction were the most amazing views of Rome.
The Holiday Cruise Page 15
