Stop it, Hannah. I needed to think about my future. It wouldn’t be long before my contract was up, and I still wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do next. I had the option to go home, move back into my house, and work hard at getting The Hollywood Hut back off the ground; but somehow, returning to that tiny bubble didn’t feel like it would fulfil me any more, even though I knew seeing Daniel and Kelly would no longer bother me.
I could apply for another nine-month contract. I’d possibly end up on a different ship and have to start all over again in terms of making friends but that didn’t matter. Given my experience in running my own salon and my immaculate track record aboard the Requiescence, I could probably go for a spa manager position but the idea of travelling was too compelling. Not so much to see places, but to experience a sense of freedom and independence I hadn’t already.
My thoughts were broken by the sound of the door creaking. Kristy came in and flung herself on the bed dramatically.
‘You’re welcome,’ she said shortly.
‘Busy day?’
‘It was actually. I thought it would be empty given today was Rome day, but for some reason there were plenty of people opting for facials and manicures over ruins and fountains.’
‘Thanks for covering me. I really do appreciate it.’ She sighed in response, which made me feel a bit guilty. I decided that while she was mad at me anyway I might as well broach the subject of her coming out of the mystery officer’s cabin. ‘I saw you coming out of a cabin last night when I went to look for you.’ There was silence for a moment.
‘A cabin … It was probably Pete’s new cabin. He’s moved, you know,’ she said eventually. I was surprised that was the best she could do.
‘It wasn’t Pete’s. It was on deck five.’ None of the staff had cabins on deck five, which she knew as well as I did.
She let out a loud exhalation. ‘Okay, so I’ve been spending time with one of the officers,’ she mumbled. I didn’t ask which one – there were so many, there was a good chance I wouldn’t know him anyway, and I didn’t want to come over all weird if I saw him. ‘You’ve got to keep it quiet,’ she continued. ‘He doesn’t want people to find out, and nor do I really.’
Asking me to keep a secret was a recipe for disaster; I was terrible at it. Now it would bubble up, waiting to erupt every time I spoke to Pete, Britney, or Zac. She’d have been better off telling me I was fine to share the news with the world – chances are, I’d have forgotten.
‘Of course,’ I said. I supposed I’d done well managing to arrange a trip to Rome with Ben and keep it to myself. Maybe I was getting better. I decided to tell Kristy about Ben. Perhaps I’d be compelled to keep her secret if she knew mine. ‘Do you know that bloke on his honeymoon alone – Ben?
‘Yes,’ she replied wearily.
‘I went in to Rome with him today.’
She sat up on her bed and craned her neck to see me. ‘What? Why?’
‘I don’t know. He’s all alone, and he asked me if I’d go with him. I bumped into him in Nice the other day and we had a beer – he recognized me from the spa. He said the Rome excursion was fully booked and asked if I’d show him around because I’d been before. It really wasn’t a big deal.’
‘Wait, so I covered you today so you could risk your job gallivanting around with a guest?’ she fumed.
‘No, nobody is losing their job. I was careful and he knows not to say anything.’
‘Are you sure about that? Because that guy is quite pally with some of the bar staff by the pool. If this gets out, Hannah, I want nothing to do with it. I happen to like my job.’ She got up and stormed back out.
I sat there feeling numb. What I was doing? I’d gotten to a point where I was over Daniel and happy to be single. Ben had just thrown up something and I wasn’t sure what. Was I really willing to jeopardize my reputation and career over it?
Maybe I was overthinking it and after much deliberation, I simmered and reduced my confused feelings for Ben into one component: I enjoyed his company.
***
It was a relief to be back in at work the next day. Kristy was a little happier and I acted like everything was normal. When I eventually got a break, I went outside into the hot breeze and took in the vista. Naples was a busy city that sprawled away from the coastline. The cruise port was big but it was possible to walk in to the historical parts of the city. I’d been a couple of times, but the traffic, heat, and volume of people had always sent me back to the boat before I’d properly explored.
With Kristy’s words ringing in my ears, I had second thoughts about going to meet Ben. I was playing a dangerous game and I wasn’t sure why. Picturing him sat waiting for me was enough to force me to go, though I promised myself it would be the last time. The Trattoria E Pizzeria Nardones wasn’t too far from the cruise terminal, so I had to be careful. The area would be swarming with crew members.
I walked quickly, not just because I was at risk of being caught, but also because I found myself wanting to be there to see Ben. I took a good look around me before going in. The coast seemed clear, so I went into the welcome air-conditioned cool of the restaurant. Ben sat by the window, looking at a menu. His face was red and clammy. The sleeves of his T-shirt clung to his strong arms, which were turning a deeper bronze each day. When he spotted me I gave a small wave and made my way over.
‘So how was Pompeii?’ I asked cheerfully, sitting down in the chair opposite him.
‘It was unbelievable. I can’t even describe how interesting it was, and how well preserved it is – the buildings, the tools, the people.’ He paused. ‘It’s incredibly sad, those people … the Garden of the Fugitives …’ His voice caught. ‘It’s just so sad. It puts my problems into perspective.’
My eyes teared up; I knew how emotional it was. I reached across and placed my hand over his.
He cleared his throat. ‘Anyway, how’s our very own Anthony Joshua?’
I looked at him, confused. And he pointed towards me. ‘Ahh, me? My hand is still a bit sore but I’m fine.’ I glanced at my still-red knuckles.
‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you last night,’ he said. I knew he just meant because he still felt guilty, but it didn’t stop me getting a tingling sensation in my chest.
‘What will happen when you go home?’ I asked gently, needing to change the subject.
‘I don’t know. Lydia emailed me the other day asking what I wanted to do with our apartment. She’s been staying there and I’d moved back to my parents’ house but we hadn’t actually made a decision. She’s not bothered either way. Then we need to try and recoup as much of the wedding costs as we can, split the money, and start again.’ His eyes fell to the glass of water in front of him.
‘Are you glad you came on the cruise now?’ I asked.
‘I wasn’t sure at first. Three weeks seemed like a long time, but I already had the time off work booked, and I’d just have sat at home moping otherwise. Now I’m here, I’m glad. I’m even enjoying it.’ He fiddled with his fork. ‘Anyway, we should order our pizza. Would you like to share one?’
‘Heck no!’ I raised my eyebrows and looked at the menu.
‘I like your style. I’m going for the margarita. What are you having?’
‘Same.’ We ordered our food and continued chatting. I felt comfortable around him, as if we were old friends. ‘I think Marion took a shine to you the other day when you popped in for help with your tie,’ I said. I was still bemused by that. Marion rarely showed any symptoms of caring about anybody.
‘Ahh yes. She’s sweet,’ he said. Sweet wasn’t a word that often cropped up in a sentence about Marion, unless it was something like ‘I needed something sweet to balance her acidic tone.’ I just smiled and nodded.
‘So what will you do, when your contract ends?’ he asked.
‘That’s a very good question. I actually need to get my backside in gear and sort something out or else I’ll be on my way back to Tinbury in no time.’
‘Will
you apply for another contract?’
‘It’s one of my options, but recently I can’t shake the feeling that I want to travel. I know I am technically travelling anyway, but I’m restricted to where I can visit by the itinerary and work. I’ve developed a taste for more. Something about picking up a backpack and setting off on an adventure really appeals. More so now that I don’t have any commitments.’ I took a sip of water. ‘I’ve saved up a bit of money whilst working on the ship.’
Ben nodded along as I spoke. ‘I never did the whole gap year backpacker thing,’ he said. ‘It’s something I regret, but at the time I was a struggling student determined to finish university and get a job. The problem is once you do that, you fall into a rut you can’t climb out of. You’ve the perfect opportunity now.’ He was right and I already knew that, but it was a scary proposition just buggering off on my own for however long.
‘I have one month left of my contract, and I should really have reapplied but I just didn’t do it. I procrastinated and pushed it out of my mind.’
‘Doesn’t that tell you something?’ he said gently, and it did.
‘Could you not go and do the whole travelling thing now the wedding is off?’
‘There’s a chance I could take a sabbatical or something, but it seems counterproductive. It would set me back in terms of job progression.’
‘There you go flinging yourself back in to that rut,’ I said, applying a light-hearted tone. He pulled a face that said ‘I know’ just as the pizza arrived. The hot steam wafted into my nostrils.
‘Mmm. If this tastes as good as it smells, you win the tour guide award of the decade.’ He closed his eyes as he took the first mouthful. ‘We’ve eaten tapas in Barcelona, macarons in Nice, carbonara in Rome, and now pizza in Naples. I think we’ve created the perfect dining experience.’
‘Exactly. And now I want sushi in Japan, noodles in Vietnam, and pad thai in Thailand. The thought of Yorkshire puddings in Yorkshire just doesn’t cut it any longer.’
‘You can’t beat a good Yorkshire pud, and that’s coming from somebody from the other side of the Pennines.’ He gave me a cheeky grin.
‘You’re right, I do take that back. Yorkshire puddings are awesome.’
‘Phew.’ He smiled. ‘But I do see your point, and this pizza is the best I’ve ever tasted. But who knows, maybe I should cross those Pennines and try a Yorkshire pudding there. Maybe they’re better.’
I laughed. ‘They genuinely are! If I do find myself back in Yorkshire, I’ll invite you over for a Sunday lunch.’
‘Deal,’ he said raising his water glass.
***
The following day was a sea day, and my ten-hour shift included waxing the hairiest back I’d ever seen in my life.
‘I promised my wife I’d do it before we came and forgot,’ he’d said. She’d practically frog-marched him into the spa and sat waiting in reception to make sure. Relationships were all different, some of them worked and some of them didn’t; but there didn’t seem to be a formula for success. I wouldn’t have dreamt about forcing Daniel to wax his back yet that man whose back I waxed, left smiling and holding his wife’s hand.
When the day was done, I popped into the crew bar to catch up with everyone since I’d not been in for a few evenings. I ordered a drink from George.
‘Hannah, where have you been?’ he asked, in a cheery tone.
‘It’s just been so busy since we arrived in the Mediterranean. How’s that lovely family of yours?’
‘Ahh the little ones keep growing and the big ones cost money.’ He smiled fondly, pouring me a glass of wine.
I went and sat down in the corner with Kristy, Pete, Britney, and Zac.
‘… he’s an awesome guy. Hi, Hannah,’ Pete added at the end of the story he was telling.
‘Who’s an awesome guy?’ I asked, taking a much-needed swallow of my wine.
‘One of the guests – this guy who came on his honeymoon alone.’ My chest felt light at the mention of Ben. ‘It’s awesome how he’s just here, getting into it and going on the trips. I met him this morning at my HIIT class … which, by the way, I haven’t seen you at for about a week.’ He jabbed me in the ribs impishly.
‘Ouch! I’ve been busy,’ I protested, but my mind was focused on Ben and the fact he actually went to HIIT. I wasn’t sure why that even mattered, but a warm fuzzy feeling came over me at the fact he took my advice. ‘How did you end up talking to him?’ I asked, realizing straight away it was a question that might raise suspicion. Kristy shot me a look, but Pete didn’t seem to notice.
‘He stayed behind after the class to ask for some training tips. Have you met him?’
‘Yes, he was in the salon at the start of the cruise,’ Kristy interjected, taking the spotlight away from me. George approached us to see if we wanted anything else from the bar.
‘Ben is a cool guy.’ George smiled a wide smile. ‘He has a drink with us by the adults’ only pool at noon when he’s not ashore. We made him his own cocktail: a Ben.’ He smiled at a memory of some sort, which he didn’t share.
‘What’s in a Ben?’ I asked out of curiosity.
‘I can’t tell you because you are not a Ben,’ he said laughing as he walked off. There was some chuckling around the table and the conversation disappointingly moved on but my thoughts wouldn’t. They stayed on Ben, and the time I’d spent with him so far. On his eyes, his smile, those arms … I didn’t allow myself to admit what I was feeling.
My cold-turkey (read: Jäger-bomb) approach to men had worked well for me, and even that bit of fun in Magaluf didn’t matter once I’d got over the embarrassment, because my head was in control and I was happy for it to mean nothing. Ben made me feel as though some of that control had been relinquished. Which was stupid. He was a guest, nothing more. I gave my head a shake and forced my mind back to the conversation going on around me.
At some point Kristy left, saying something about being tired, but I knew she wouldn’t be in our cabin when I got back. Tomorrow we were pulling in to Valletta, Malta, and I had the morning off. I was looking forward to stepping off the ship and walking by the waterside for an hour or so to feel like everything was normal again.
‘Hey, a few of us are heading to St Julian’s beach tomorrow if you fancy coming along, Hannah?’ Pete asked. I was tempted to say no and stick to my walk, but we’d all been so busy with the summer crowds. It would be nice to have a few hours of fun with my friends without thinking about or bumping into Ben.
‘Okay. Sounds good.’
‘Great, we’re meeting at the disembarkation point straight after my HIIT class at eight-thirty.’
Next morning, I put on my yellow bikini. It was a skimpy choice but having spent the last eight months doing HIIT classes and eating carefully I felt toned enough to carry it off. I pulled on some denim cut-offs and a sheer white kaftan that I’d borrowed from Britney and stuffed my beach bag with a towel, lotion, and a chick-lit book one of the guests gave me when I showed a polite interest in it a few weeks ago. By eight-thirty, Pete, Kristy, Zac, and Britney were all at the meeting point and ready to go.
‘I hope you guys don’t mind, but I asked that honeymoon guy to come along,’ Pete said sheepishly. My stomach flipped.
‘If that’s the guy you were talking to at the gym this morning, I don’t mind seeing him topless on the beach,’ Zac said.
‘I don’t mind either. Zac usually has good taste,’ Britney said, earning herself a raised eyebrow from Pete. ‘It’s just looking,’ she added.
‘I don’t mind,’ I said, as coolly as I could manage.
‘Great. He’ll be waiting at the bottom of the gangway,’ Pete said, already heading off the ship.
As we stepped outside the wave of heat hit me. I don’t know why, but it surprised me every time, even after eight months – I supposed the Yorkshire chill was etched in my bones so the cool air-conditioned ship was more my climate. I caught a glimpse of Ben at the bottom of the gangway in his multi-coloured sw
im shorts and black T-shirt. He had on his aviator shades and a towel slung over his shoulder.
‘Great, we’re all here,’ Pete said before introducing Ben to everyone cheerfully and motioning towards the taxi rank. It was still early enough that there was hardly a queue and we were fortunate enough to get a minibus pretty quickly. Ben spoke to Pete most of the way there but I did catch him glancing at me every now and again.
‘So, Ben, did you make it in to Rome?’ Pete asked, and my stomach churned. Britney was chatting to me about some new skin cream she’d discovered in Nice, and I tried to listen (it actually did sound good and the sun had dried my skin out completely) but I had a discreet ear in the conversation Ben and Pete were having too. Ben was talking animatedly about all the places we’d visited and what he loved, but he didn’t mention me being there or the ‘incident’. Phew, he remembered.
We arrived at St Julian’s and found a spot right by the water. The men went straight into the sea. I shook out my towel, wiggled out of my shorts, and took off Britney’s kaftan. Turning towards the sea to lay my towel down I caught Ben looking at me. Nobody else was paying any attention, so I smiled at him before lying down and taking out my book. It felt good to wiggle into position in the sand, holding my book up high so I could read it without the glare of the sun.
After a good chapter or so, freezing cold water splashed my hot leg. Jeez. I sat bolt upright.
‘Ladies, get in here! The water is so nice,’ Pete shouted before splashing us again. I looked over at Britney, who was stood, arms folded and scowling at Pete with water all down her front, causing him to laugh. I thought back to the time I was in awe of her confidence.
‘We should really pay him back, don’t you think?’ I said to Britney.
She gave me a look and nodded. ‘Let’s do it.’ We ran into the cool water and dived at Pete, dunking him under. He came back up seconds later, smiling.
‘Thanks for that. It was very refreshing.’ He grinned.
‘I much preferred you when you used to disappear and return with cocktails.’ I splashed water at him. ‘You’ve drenched a perfectly good Sophie Kinsella book, you idiot.’ He swam off, laughing to himself. I lay back in the water, stretched my arms out and let my legs float up to the surface. The cool saltwater soothed my hot skin as I bobbed up and down over the gentle waves.
The Holiday Cruise Page 17
