‘Fair enough.’ She smiled. ‘So are you going to carry on with these little rendezvous?’
‘I don’t know. The thing is, it’s killing me having not seen him today. I don’t know how he feels about last night. Maybe he regrets it anyway.’ I shook my head. ‘I don’t even know why I’m giving it so much thought. One more week, and he’s gone.’
‘I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’ve got feelings for him.’
I put my head in my hands. ‘I think I’m just confused. I can’t possibly have.’
Kristy just shrugged. ‘I’ve got an hour to kill before my big breakup. How do you fancy coming to raid Britney’s wardrobe for something to wear to the Captain’s reception tomorrow night?’ She grinned.
‘That sounds like a plan.’ I smiled, glad of something to take my mind off Ben.
Chapter Eighteen
At lunchtime the next day, fancying a bit of sun, I slipped on a knee-length orange sundress and headed out onto the deck. The sky was clear blue and the sun shone from high above, its rays bouncing off my skin as I walked towards the pool area for some atmosphere. The smell of sun cream and Piña Colada hit me as I arrived. It took all my willpower not to grab a cocktail and jump in the Jacuzzi.
Daniel would have loved this, I caught myself thinking, and I almost laughed at the fact he crossed my mind. I sat on a deckchair looking out to sea. I considered going to pick up some lunch but staring into the calming blue expanse was far too compelling. After ten minutes or so, I heard a cheerful commotion coming from the bar behind me.
‘My man, it’s cocktail o’clock.’ I heard George’s voice followed by something that sounded like a high five or a bare back slap. Curiosity got the better of me, and I turned my head just far enough to get a look. There he was, laughing and joking with George and a few other of the bartenders and waiters. They were asking him what he’d been up to, and if any ladies had caught his eye yet. I strained to listen but the noise of the ship, the wind, and the jolly chatter muffled his response. The waiter laughed at whatever he said and patted him on the back, and I caught a ‘good man’, leaving me reeling with interest.
I turned my head back to the ocean and watched the crests of small waves break and disperse. There was nothing at all in the sea around us. I raised my head to the sun and closed my eyes, and it felt as though each ray of sunshine fell upon the ship and the ship alone.
‘There’s only one woman on board who is consistently dressed in the brightest of clothes.’ Recognizing that voice, I sat up and opened my eyes instinctively.
‘Oh, hi, Ben.’ I smiled, struggling to appear casual as my heart pounded in my ears.
‘Were you hoping to bump into me?’
My eyes popped at the accusation. ‘No!’ I protested. ‘I just fancied some fresh air, and I like it here.’
‘But you have your very own employee deck. You shouldn’t be down here bothering us guests,’ he teased.
‘I have to keep an eye on you. It looks like you’re distracting my fellow crew members,’ I said, matching his tone. He sat down on the lounger next to me.
‘Well if I’m honest, it’s lovely to see you.’ He stretched across and ruffled my hair, making me laugh. I sensed the hair ruffle was concealing an element of bashfulness or uncertainty that he wasn’t used to. My chest tingled at his touch.
‘So, you’re now on your second cruise of the year. How very lavish,’ I joked.
‘Yes, what can I say? I enjoyed the last one so much that I didn’t want to leave.’ We were skirting the big fat elephant on the cruise ship, and one of us had to bring it up. I braced myself, trying to organize the words in my head, but Ben beat me to it.
‘About Venice…’ He sounded sheepish, so I cut in to help him out.
‘I know, it was a moment we got caught up in. It was Venice, for goodness’ sake. There are few places with that magnitude of romantic sway.’ I rubbed his hand, trying to keep my tone light, but Ben’s eyes fell to the deck, focusing on something that wasn’t there.
‘Venice does have a compelling romantic edge,’ he admitted after a moment’s silence. ‘But it wasn’t the first time I’d wanted to kiss you.’
I swallowed back feelings I hadn’t had in a long time, not since I met Daniel for the first time and he asked to take me out. They were the feelings of a young, innocent and vulnerable eighteen-year-old. I nodded slowly, hesitantly. It wasn’t the first time I wanted to kiss you. His words raced around my head.
‘The moment I met you in the spa I thought you were attractive. I didn’t want to notice, but I couldn’t help it. Then when we had tapas in Barcelona I found you so easy to talk to, so funny, strong, and independent. I admired how you picked yourself up after what Daniel did to you, how you started a completely new and different life.’
I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to take in what he was saying. The hard work I’d put into ignoring my feelings was unravelling rapidly. Tears pricked at my eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Ben, I have to get back to work,’ I said, sitting up hastily and scurrying back to the safety of the spa.
***
‘Why on earth did you head to the pool bar?’ Kristy asked – yelled – when I told her about my chat with Ben. I was trying to keep my voice down so the receptionist didn’t hear – a memo Kristy didn’t get.
‘I don’t know. Venice was lingering in my head, and I thought if we talked about it and, I don’t know, laughed it off, then things would go back to normal. I have zero experience in the adult romance category of life. I had a boyfriend in Year Seven who I was too shy to kiss, and met Daniel at university when I was drunk. Other than films, I have no benchmark.’
‘Calm down and breathe,’ she encouraged. ‘Okay, you’ve already crossed the line, and he’s only here another week so why not just roll with it?’
‘Roll with it?’
‘Yes. You’re going to pine for him all week if you don’t spend it with him, and he’s going to spend the week trying to bump into you, or asking you to accompany him ashore, so why not just enjoy yourselves for a week? I doubt one more week will make a difference.’ She had a point, I would be constantly looking out for him, hoping for an encounter, so I might as well have one.
‘Perhaps you’re right. Then by next week, I can push all thoughts of Ben out of my system because I’ll have no choice but to forget about him. I’ll speak to him tonight at the Captain’s reception.’
‘I’d say at this point, you have very little to lose,’ she said as she began wiping down the manicure station.
‘How did it go with your officer?’ I asked, switching the emphasis away from me.
‘He thought I was being melodramatic. He said his wife wouldn’t care, and it’s common practice, that everyone does it on the ship. But not me, I told him,’ she said triumphantly.
‘That’s my girl.’ I walked over and gave her a hug.
‘Some other fool can play second fiddle to his wife. I hadn’t realized what a mug I’d been.’
‘You did the right thing,’ I whispered softly and she nodded in response.
‘We should get a move on. The next clients are probably in reception.’ She threw a bright smile onto her face and walked away.
***
I stood in front of the full-length mirror, looking at myself in Britney’s dress. It was a floor-length black gown with wide shoulders and a deep V-shaped neckline falling into a knotted front near my navel. Kristy had styled my hair into waves with her straighteners, and I’d gone full Hollywood glamour with my make-up. It had been a while since I’d made that much effort; it was probably at Christmas time.
Kristy and I headed to the main atrium, which was already awash with guests. We each took a glass of champagne from a waiter before walking to the outskirts of the room. I sipped my drink whilst my eyes scanned the crowds.
‘Stop it, he’ll be here,’ Kristy scolded. ‘Just stay calm.’
‘Are Pete and the others coming?’
‘I’m not sure,’ she said, sc
anning the room herself. I saw her face drop and followed her gaze to a good-looking, olive-skinned officer with short black hair, dressed in the trademark pristine white suit. He was shaking hands with guests, chatting and smiling politely.
‘That’s him isn’t it?’ I whispered. She nodded. ‘He’s got such a friendly face,’ I said, astonished at the fact there was an Italian equivalent to Daniel. ‘You’ll find someone much better when you’re ready.’ With that, I stormed over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.
‘Mi scusi, volevo solo dire che sei vergognoso. Si dovrebbe rispettare tua moglie più.’ A few people close by who’d picked up on my tone started to stare. I had no idea if what I’d said was grammatically correct but he’d get the idea and I felt somewhat smug about the fact I said what I should have said to Daniel, to someone equally deserving … and in Italian.
I walked back over to Kristy who stared at me, gobsmacked. ‘What was that?’
‘I just told him to respect his wife more … But I should’ve said women. He should respect women more – he played you too!’ I turned to march back over when Kristy placed a hand on my shoulder stopping me.
‘Easy, tiger. Isn’t that your honeymoon man?’ She nodded in the direction of a handsome, tuxedoed man.
‘It is, but I’m not going to leave you alone whilst he’s there.’
‘Just go, honestly. I’m going to do what we always do on formal night – drink this and head down to the crew bar before some guest wants to collar me and discuss facial products or something.’ She was right; we usually only stayed for the first drink. ‘Go on. This is the one time you can get away with having a drink and a chat with a guest, so go for it.’ She gave me a hug. I took a deep breath before heading over to Ben.
‘Hi,’ I said awkwardly as I approached him. He was talking to an elderly couple who I assumed were from his dinner table.
‘Hi.’ He gave me a shy smile. The elderly couple made their excuses and left, but not before the gentleman winked and patted him on the back. ‘My new dinner friends,’ he said after they’d gone.
‘At least they’re the same generation as the last lot, so it’s not too much of a change for you,’ I joked.
His eyes swept me, shrouding me in self-consciousness. ‘You look absolutely beautiful.’
I felt my cheeks flush, so I took a sip of champagne to calm myself. ‘You don’t look too bad yourself,’ I said, casting an eye of admiration over him.
He smiled nervously. ‘I hope I didn’t come on too strong by the pool earlier. You seemed like you couldn’t wait to get away.’
‘I know, I’m sorry. The things you said, I agree with them. It’s just a strange predicament to be in when you know it’s such a short-term arrangement.’ I winced at how stilted I sounded.
‘I know. I just thought that since we’d already kissed, what harm could come from doing it once or twice more?’ The corner of his mouth twitched into a half-smile, which I couldn’t help but match.
The sound of the entertainment manager introducing the Captain broke the tension between us. I took a step back to give the illusion I was listening. Soon after the Captain had spoken, the band started playing, but the noise only served to irritate my ears. ‘Shall we go for a walk?’ I had to raise my voice to speak.
‘You read my mind,’ he said. ‘Where’s the best place to go?’
I thought for a moment. Nowhere was completely safe unless we snuck into the spa, but it seemed a shame to be in the back cupboard in a dress like this. ‘I know where we can go. Meet me at the front of the ship on deck fourteen in five minutes – and bring me a drink.’ I winked.
I made my way up to the top deck. The front would be quiet – there wasn’t a bar or food outlet at that end, it was non-smoking, and most people would be engaging in the evening entertainment. I leant on the rail, listening to the waves crash against the bow, as the wind sent my hair flowing behind me.
‘A drink for the lady.’ Ben approached me with two glasses of champagne. ‘This is much better. I can’t believe I’ve been on board over two weeks and haven’t been up here at night.’
‘It’s almost a secret spot. People don’t tend to venture this far away from the pool to sunbathe, and at night people mostly head out to the promenade deck for air.’
He leant on the rail next to me and looked out to sea. The dark ripples and white crests of the waves were lit by the large, full moon. ‘So this is what the Captain sees when he’s steering this thing?’
‘Sort of. This coupled with lots of computer screens. The bridge is just below us. You can arrange a tour if you’re interested.’
‘I think this right now is enough for me,’ he said, placing his hand on top of mine. He looked at me intently, turning his body towards mine. The waves, the moonlight, and the wind disappeared, leaving just the two of us. I froze for a moment, unable to speak, but Ben took over, brushing his other hand across my cheek as he held my gaze. My lips parted as he leaned in, and he gently grazed them with his before pulling me close and kissing me harder, his lips soft and hot. I responded, entwining my fingers in his hair and pressing myself against him.
When we came apart, I was left wanting more, so I leaned in, planting kisses on his mouth. It took everything I had to stop. He cupped my face with his hand and stared into my eyes. ‘I want to do that every day until I leave,’ he whispered.
My knees weakened. ‘Okay,’ I mumbled pathetically, captivated by him.
‘I know it’s not a good idea, and your reaction earlier made it clear that you don’t think it is either. I just think I’m already going to struggle to say goodbye to you next week, and I’d reached that point before I realized it was probably a mistake. What will one more week matter?’
‘I know, I agree.’ I nodded. ‘We still need to be careful though. I’ll be instantly dismissed if I get caught doing anything but chatting politely with you.’ It was more of a risk now that I’d booked my flight from Barcelona. Getting kicked off the ship in Italy would be a real pain.
‘Ooh, forbidden kisses. I like it.’ There was a mischievous glint in his eye.
‘I’m not joking,’ I scolded, and he proceeded to zip lock his lips like a child. I giggled.
‘Do you know the irony of this whole situation?’ I asked.
‘What?’
‘It’s that I always wanted to come on a cruise because this is what I’d imagined. Exploring romantic cities or having cocktails by the pool in the day, then moonlit deck walks and hand-holding at night. Now I have it all in the palm of my hand and it’s forbidden.’ I laughed a small humourless laugh.
‘That just makes it all the more exciting.’ He winked, so I shoved him playfully. ‘It’s exactly what I’d imagined too, except in my imagination there was a wife beside me in bed and not a sculptured towel animal – which Raul is very good at, by the way.’ He laughed.
‘Raul is your cabin steward!’ I said. I’d spoken to him in the rec room a few times.
‘Yes, he’s great. I think he’s taken pity on me because he leaves me extra chocolates on my pillow. The other day he even left a calming lavender pillow spray.’
I smiled at the image. ‘It’s not quite the same in the crew cabins – we don’t get towel animals. I’ve actually not even seen a guest cabin.’ I winced after I spoke; I hoped I hadn’t come across as hinting to go back to his cabin. Luckily, he didn’t make things awkward by inviting me back. There was no chance we’d get past Raul unnoticed.
‘I actually have a balcony cabin,’ he boasted.
‘Oh, do you now?’
‘I do … So, Kotor tomorrow.’
‘Yes, that’s right. I’ve not actually been yet as this is a new itinerary. I have the morning off.’ I looked up at him.
‘That sounds like I’ve got myself a date.’ He nudged my shoulder.
‘I suppose you have. From the pictures I’ve seen, it looks like it will be a really nice place to sail into – you sail in through fjord-like views and the sun rises over the mo
untains.’
‘Maybe we should come up here early morning,’ he suggested.
‘We dock at seven-thirty a.m., so we’d need to be up here at about six-thirty to see the sail-in. I suppose I could bump into you up here around that time.’
‘If not, I could ask Margaret, one of my new dinner table companions. She’s just arrived with her husband, Arthur, but she was giving me the eye all evening.’ He smirked.
‘Oh, was she now? So this Margaret, is she serious competition?’
‘In all honesty, it depends on the lighting. She’s ninety-three but can pull off a black sequinned top like no other woman I’ve met.’ His straight face broke and he laughed quietly.
‘Well, I might just have to go and see this Margaret to discover her sequin-wearing secrets, and possibly the key to long life.’
He motioned to a pile of tethered sun loungers that had been put away for the night. ‘It’s such a nice evening. Should we grab one of those?’
‘Good idea.’
He walked over to the loungers and uncoupled two before dragging them to the front of the ship. I looked at my watch; it had turned midnight already. ‘For my lady.’ He swept a hand in the direction of the lounger in mock chivalry.
We sat and talked for a while about places we’d visited. Ben had seen a lot of Europe but had been off the beaten track, so whilst he’d experienced culture and life, he’d seen very little of the tourist attractions the major cities had to offer. He’d wanted to go on a safari for the honeymoon, but his fiancée had persuaded him to try a cruise because she hated to fly and flying in to Barcelona was a compromise. He’d agreed because he’d still get to see new places.
I told him about my travels, which had revolved mostly around resorts in the past. Daniel wasn’t the adventurous type and was happy to sit by a pool sleeping all day. We’d been to some exotic destinations – Mexico, Jamaica, Cape Verde, and Morocco – but really, we could have been in any old luxury five-star all-inclusive. I’d seen more on the cruise than I had on any holiday I’d been on before and that strengthened my determination to travel.
The Holiday Cruise Page 21
