by Zoey Draven
“I’ll be okay,” she said softly. “Go.”
Vikan decided to trust in her word. A moment later he jerked his head in a nod, clearly reluctant to leave her. But he did a moment later, striding back the way they’d come so she and Vaxa’an could be alone.
When she turned back to the Prime Leader, she realized everything would be okay. Because Taylor could be damn persuasive when she wanted to be.
And she’d never been this determined in her life.
TWENTY-ONE
TAYLOR STARED AT Vaxa’an since neither of them spoke first. She found herself embroiled in some sort of Luxirian power struggle. And Taylor didn’t have to be a Luxirian to know that Vaxa’an was still pissed off at her mate.
Realizing that staying silent was getting her nowhere, Taylor spoke first, eager to state her case and get her mate off the hook.
“Look, uh, Prime Leader,” Taylor began, “I can see why you’re upset. But since this concerns me, I can honestly tell you that you’re making a bigger deal out of this than it is.”
Vaxa’an crossed his massive arms over his chest, the gold bands he wore around his biceps glinting in the bright light. “Vikan has been a loyal Ambassador and a friend to me for many, many rotations, female. I can assure you that I am not ‘making this a bigger deal.’ He disobeyed a direct order from his Prime Leader in not only taking you from the Golden City without my permission but by also endangering your life in the wilds of Luxiria. Anything could have happened.”
Taylor blew out a breath. She had her work cut out for her.
“I understand that. But I can assure you that Vikan took care of me. His priority was my safety. Do you honestly believe that, me being his fated mate and all, he would be careless enough to let me get hurt?”
“Female—”
“He made sure I was warm, fed, and well-rested. He made sure we had a secure shelter every night. And honestly, once I got over being pissed off, it was nice to get out of that damn room you left us in.”
His eyes narrowed. “Those quarters were to ensure that nothing like this ever happened, female.”
“No, you kept us locked in there for a couple weeks with no word about what you were going to do with us. Thank goodness that your mate came to see us and tell us what was going on. All of us were scared. We had no idea what you planned.”
Vaxa’an inhaled a patient breath. “I kept you there because I could not guarantee another Luxirian’s Instinct would awaken for one of you. Obviously Vikan had already seen you from the rescue. But the others…”
“I get that,” Taylor said, trying to calm down. She would get nowhere by getting pissed. “But it’s not the best approach. All of those women in there, I can guarantee you that they can fight their own battles and make their own decisions if something like that ever happened.”
“It does not matter anymore, female,” Vaxa’an said. “A vessel has been properly outfitted and fueled for a journey to the Fourth Quadrant, to Earth. Once I have brought you safely back to the Golden City, you can all depart for your home.”
Taylor straightened her spine and said softly, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Vaxa’an tilted his head to the side, dropping his gaze to the ground, as if collecting his thoughts, before returning his gaze to her. “Female, I do not know what Vikan has told you…about his past.”
“He told me everything,” Taylor said. “He told me about her, about Nitav.”
“Then you know that I cannot be certain he is…whole. Or ready for another mate.”
A flash of anger hit her, the need to defend her mate strong. Though Vaxa’an made a valid point, Taylor knew in her heart that he was wrong. Vikan had told her to trust in what she knew about him if she didn’t trust his words. And right then, she knew the truth.
“He told me he is ready to start a life with me. And I believe him,” she said, staring straight at Vaxa’an.
The Prime Leader studied her like she was a specimen under a microscope, as if trying to figure her out.
Taylor continued, hedging onto the subject of her mate’s punishment, “But you know, it will be a little difficult to start our new lives if he’s locked away, or whatever you planned on doing with him.”
“Locked away?” Vaxa’an repeated, quirking an arrogant brow. Taylor couldn’t help but think that Kate had her work cut out for her with this overbearing, dominant male. “I was not planning to lock him away.”
“Then what were you planning to do?”
Vaxa’an frowned, running a hand over his horn. “I had not decided yet.”
Hope sprung in Taylor’s chest and she pounced on that. “He did nothing wrong. At least in my eyes. Yeah, the fuel thing kind of sucked, but looking back on it now, I wouldn’t have changed a thing,” she confessed. “He’s a good male, Vaxa’an. He makes me happy. And I know that I can make him happy too.”
Vaxa’an looked down to the ground again and Taylor knew that she was making him think, at least a little bit. That was enough to spur her to continue.
And so she decided to tell him.
“After the rescue mission,” she started, “after I first saw Vikan, I began having dreams.”
“Dreams are not unusual, female,” Vaxa’an commented.
“They were always of him though. Every single night. But they felt strange to me. They felt…clear,” she confessed. “And I didn’t know what was happening, but the night that Vikan took me, I had a dream before he came. And in that dream, I saw us. I felt the blood bond then, even though I didn’t know what it was at the time. I knew his name even though I did not before.”
Vaxa’an’s brow furrowed, his lips turning down.
“He was familiar to me in a way he shouldn’t have been. I knew things that I shouldn’t have. I knew Nitav’s name before he ever told me about her. I know what his home looks like, though I have never stepped foot inside.”
“His gift…” Vaxa’an murmured, trailing off.
“His gift…it somehow affected me once his Instinct awakened. They weren’t dreams at all, but visions of our future together.”
Realization hit the Prime Leader. “Vikan has always been special, female. His whole line has always had those gifts, but you must know that they bring him much hardship. It is something he will always be burdened with and you as well, if you choose this life.”
“He told me,” she said softly, “about what happened here. I see how much it affects him still but I know that I can help him. I know I can be strong for him, just as he is for me.”
Vaxa’an’s eyes slid shut, his expression shifting slightly.
She bit her lip. “I…I’m falling in love with him, Vaxa’an.” His eyes snapped open to regard her. “And I know that we still have a lot to work through, but I’ve also seen our future and I know that it’s all worth it. Our love only deepens over time, until it’s something that I couldn’t have ever imagined. And I know that you can’t see it right now, but he has changed, not only for me, but for himself.”
Taylor longed to go to her mate, longed to tell him she was sorry for shutting down earlier. She wanted to tell him about her feelings for him, wanted to tell him that yes, she wanted a future with him, that she didn’t want to leave.
“I know you’re angry about what he did,” she said softly. “But please. I know how important Lopixa is to him. He’s been a loyal friend to you for a long time and I know that he would accept any punishment you give him. But please don’t take this place away from him.”
It was quiet in the room for a long time as Vaxa’an thought over her words. Taylor could feel her heart beating in her throat, hoping and praying that he would hear her loud and clear and that he would understand.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Vaxa’an inclined his head, huffing out a resigned breath.
“You are right, female,” Vaxa’an said quietly. “Vikan has been a loyal friend to me for many rotations. And I do want him to find as much happiness as I have found with my luxiva. He certai
nly deserves it more than any other male I know.”
Hope bloomed and Taylor held her breath, waiting for his decision.
Vaxa’an continued, “I will forgive this, since you are unharmed and have obviously forgiven him yourself.”
“Thank you,” she breathed.
“However, you must keep his actions to yourself and tell no one. I have managed to keep the matter quiet in the Golden City, so I do not need other males thinking they can do something so rash without consequence, tev?”
She made a zippering gesture over her mouth, which no doubt went over his head. “I promise.”
Vaxa’an huffed out a sharp breath and jerked his head in a nod. “Then go. Find your mate and tell him the good news. Tell him I will speak to him before I depart this next span.”
Unable to help herself, overcome with relief and happiness, she stepped forward and embraced him. Vaxa’an was clearly taken aback, but patted her shoulder in a polite gesture that made her smile.
When she pulled away, she said again, “Thank you, thank you.”
He jerked his head to the entrance of the large room. “Go. I am sure he is not far.”
Vaxa’an didn’t even finish his sentence before Taylor turned her back and ran to the door, eager to see her mate.
Behind her, she swore she heard the Prime Leader laugh.
TWENTY-TWO
VIKAN RUBBED HIS wrists, still feeling the heaviness of the chains and trying to shake them from his mind. Instead, he took a deep breath, tilting his head back to look at the sky over Lopixa, wondering if he’d ever see it again if Vaxa’an stripped him of his rank.
But even the thought of imprisonment or the thought of never seeing his home again couldn’t compare to the deep, aching fear that his female would choose to leave him.
Much was unresolved between them, much still needed to be said. Vikan could hardly believe that just the night before, he had been inside his luxiva, had loved her with his body, had taken every gasping sigh and every moan of his name into his soul, and felt incredible hope for their future together.
And now? It was all falling down around his head. To go from the highest high to the lowest low in less than a full span? It took everything in Vikan not to roar his anguish to the Fates.
He had lived in misery for too long. Vrax! All he wanted was to make his luxiva happy. But what if she was happier without him? What if she was happier not being tied to another male who had mourned his ex-mate for the past ten rotations and who was sometimes moody and gruff and who had important duties that, at times, would take him away from her?
The thought was sobering. In all of his arrogance, he had never once considered that she might be happier without him.
“There you are,” her soft voice sounded as she rounded the corner into the darkened alleyway he’d tucked himself into.
His breath hitched.
“I was looking for you everywhere. Why are you back here?” Taylor asked, furrowing her brow when she stopped in front of him.
Vikan swallowed, immediately standing from his crouched position, his eyes only on her. He was unable to shake the thought that had entered his mind and suddenly, he had to know.
“Do you think you would be happier back on Earth?”
“What?” she asked, lips parting.
“Do you think that you would be happier…without me?” he forced out, more vulnerable in that moment than he’d been in his entire life span. “I realize I have only brought you problems since…”
“Vikan,” Taylor breathed, reaching out a hand to squeeze his forearm, letting her touch linger.
Instead of filling him with hope, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would be one of the last times she touched him.
She sighed softly, looking around the little alleyway they were tucked in. Then she met his eyes. “Will you take me to our spot? On the shore? I want to see it.”
Vikan’s shoulders sagged but he eventually jerked his head in a nod. Even if Vaxa’an didn’t want them to leave, he would damn well show her the shore, consequences be damned. Nothing would matter anyways if she chose to leave Luxiria.
He took them along the back alley of the nuvera, the tallest building in Lopixa, until they reached the terrace where a few hovercrafts were landed. He commandeered one, knowing it wouldn’t be missed for the rest of the span, and helped his female climb inside. And then he lifted them off the ground and the hovercraft shot into the sky, out of Vaxa’an’s reach, gliding in the air over the expanse of Lopixa’s cliff.
It didn’t take them long to reach the edge and then he steered them downwards, towards the gentle shore of the nearest beach.
Soft sand billowed out beneath them as he landed the hovercraft. Taylor placed her hand on his arm as she jumped down and he steered her to the place where he had brought her in her dream.
“It’s beautiful,” she said softly, sitting down beside him in the sand, looking out over the Lopitax sea, with its shimmering, serene waters.
During the cold season, those waters became dangerous, with waves cresting high up the cliff, but right then? It was perfect.
“Much better in person,” she added softly, looking over at him.
Vikan braced himself for this conversation, pressure weighing him down. It would be the most important conversation of his life.
“Luxiva,” he murmured, his eyes memorizing her face as if it would be the last time he’d see it. “I do not know where to begin.”
“Then let me begin for us both,” she whispered softly, turning towards him, her legs curling under her. “Vikan, I’m sorry for how I handled things earlier this morning. I was hurt and I handled it the way I always had before…by retreating into myself and blocking out the problem until it hurt less. But I don’t want to do that. Not to you.”
“I drove you to it,” he murmured. “The fault is entirely mine.”
“No, it’s not,” Taylor replied, shaking her head. She blew out a breath and met his eyes. “Tell me what happened this morning. I’m ready to listen. Did you…is there some way you can actually visit Nitav?”
Vikan ran a hand over his left horn. He wanted to tell her everything.
“Nix,” he murmured, holding her gaze. “I can revisit specific memories and they can begin to feel as if I could actually speak with her. They morph and change, different conversations we had had or words that she would have said that stem from my own mind.”
“Oh,” she murmured softly.
“After her death, it was a comfort to remember, to visit her there,” he admitted.
“I’m sure it was, Vikan,” she said softly, reaching out to take his hand. “I truly am sorry that you had to go through that. Grief isn’t easy and we all deal with it in different ways.”
Vikan lifted his head. “I needed to go to her last night, luxiva. It was not because I longed to see her, as you thought. I went to her because I needed to say goodbye in my own way. I never truly said goodbye to her because I never got to say goodbye. I was off planet when she died and she was burned in the Luxirian custom before I could return.”
“Vikan…” she whispered.
“I told her that I had found my fated mate. I told her your name. I told her that I had come to finally let go of her because you are my present and my future and that I wanted to start right, to begin again with you,” he murmured, watching her eyes fill with moisture. “I could not do that knowing I had not truly said goodbye and made peace with her death.”
“Oh, Vikan.”
“It was, perhaps, unfortunate timing on my part, but I do not regret seeking her out in my memories, luxiva. It needed to be done and I felt such relief and happiness afterwards.”
“Until I ruined it all,” she whispered, her shoulders dropping a bit. “I should have believed you when you told me.”
“I had given you no reason to,” he murmured.
“You have though, Vikan,” she said softly, meeting his eyes. “You’ve given me so many reasons to.”
His
breath hitched at the look in her gaze, but he would not let hope make a mockery of reality.
“Will you tell me about her?” she asked. “About what she was like?”
His brow furrowed because her request was so unexpected. But he would’ve done anything that she had asked.
Vikan swallowed before saying, “Nitav was…carefree. That is the first word that I think of that described her. She lived in her own head sometimes, oblivious to much that was going on around her. But she laughed and smiled easily and she enjoyed her life, as short as it was. Problems to her were fleeting and anything could be solved.
She was beautiful. She was somewhat vain about her hair. She brushed it so often that sometimes she joked that it would fall out and she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.” Taylor smiled at that. “She did not think about the future much. We spoke of it sometimes, but she was too impulsive for plans. To me, it was…welcome, since all I ever thought about was the future, and not necessarily my own.”
“She sounded lovely,” Taylor whispered, her eyes softened.
“She was,” Vikan agreed, inhaling a slow breath. “But she was also young. We both were. And when she died, tev, I was in misery. But not so much that I decided to end my life span, like so many other mates had when their partners were ripped away. I always felt guilty about that, like I had somehow not loved her enough.”
“Vikan. Don’t ever feel guilty about that.”
“I do not anymore,” he said. “I realized that I did not end it because I knew what awaited me.”
Her lips parted.
“The Fates told me to wait. And I did. And they brought me you,” he finished softly. “Everything fell into place that was meant to and I did not even see you coming.”
Taylor shifted, rising onto her knees so that she could come closer. Vikan’s legs widened so that she could place herself between them and he held his breath as she gently traced the lines of his cheekbones.
She was quiet for a long time, simply touching him and looking at his face. Finally, she murmured, “I’m glad that you went to her, Vikan.”
