“Cut the crap, Dean,” Carmen said quickly. “Remember, I know you.”
“Apparently not well enough.”
“Spoiler alert, I’m not that dewy-eyed teenager waiting for her first kiss from you anymore.”
“Of that I am truly delighted. I remember our first kiss very well. It was promising. But our last kiss was . . .”
She shook her head. “Why are you here?” she asked.
Dean saw the fire in her eyes. He knew she’d always had charm and innocence. That hadn’t changed, but now she had a feisty, spirited side of her too. She spoke her mind, and he found that very attractive. “Haven’t you heard? I’m the grand marshal for the Hayden Holiday Parade.”
She shook her head again. “Why are you really here, Dean? I heard you declined numerous times over the years. But this time you said yes. And you could have stayed anywhere else in town.”
He shook his head. “No, I couldn’t have. You know that. I told you I’d be back.”
Her heart slammed hard. He was right. He had said he’d be back—for her. But that was years ago and he hadn’t come back, until today. But none of that mattered. It was all in the past. They stared at each other; then she looked away. She knew what she was feeling and saw it reflected in his eyes. She wanted him and he wanted her. The kiss they’d shared earlier had been merely an enticing prelude. Another kiss was coming and she wasn’t sure she could walk away this time.
“Breakfast is from six o’clock in the morning until ten. If you have any dietary restrictions, please let the front desk know and we’ll adjust our menu to accommodate your needs. There are cookies, fruit, coffee, and tea available all day. Have a good night.” She turned to walk out.
“It’s a shame the Carmen I knew grew up. I miss her.”
“I don’t. She was weak and distracted.”
“She was a lot stronger than you think.”
Carmen paused, hearing what he said, and then she walked out. Tears began to fill her eyes, but she refused to cry. Crying was for the weak and she wasn’t that person anymore. She had obligations and responsibilities. She needed to stay on track, and wanting Dean wasn’t staying focused. He’d leave in a few days and she’d be crushed and broken-hearted and back to where she’d been when he left ten years ago.
Chapter 6
Dean watched Carmen leave. He smiled. She was right. She wasn’t the dewy-eyed teenager he knew a long time ago. She was a woman and everything about her made him want her even more.
He picked up his tea to head back to his room. Then he remembered Carmen saying that she was going to check the attic. He continued up to the top floor, seeing the door was cracked. He walked over and peered inside. He saw the window open and Carmen sitting on the ledge looking out. He tilted his head and sighed. Her angelic face and flawless cinnamon complexion were just as radiant and beguiling as he had remembered. He’d always known she was a stunning beauty. Her long, curly lashes still framed the most exquisitely almond-shaped eyes imaginable and her full luscious lips staggered his imagination.
He knocked softly.
She turned. “Dean.”
“Before you ask, yes, I am following you, but for good reason. You said there was a leak up here and I wanted to know if you needed any help.”
“No,” she said, glancing over to the bucket in the center of the room, “it’s fine. The leak stopped.”
He looked around. “Wow, this place is really organized.”
She watched as he walked around the large open area. Neatly stacked boxes with labels were piled on wooden shelves along the sidewalls, furniture, rolled rugs, lamps, mirrors, pictures and chairs were neatly and orderly arranged in front. “I had a weekend free,” she said.
“Looks like you had a few free weekends,” he said, then turned to her sitting on the cushioned window seat. The window was open and she was leaning back against the side. “Thinking about jumping? Again?” he asked.
She shook her head and decided not to smile. “No.”
“Are you sure? The reason I ask is I might go out walking later on tonight and I wouldn’t want you to . . .”
“No, I promise I won’t be jumping.”
“So,” he said, walking to the open window, “are you looking at the view or at the stars?”
“The stars. There’s a meteor shower tonight.”
His face brightened instantly. “Really, which one?”
“The Ursid.”
He leaned out looking up at the sky. “Where, at Ursa Minor?”
“Yes. Just look toward Polaris, the North Star. It’s supposed to peak tonight, but I haven’t seen anything yet.”
“You got me so hooked on watching meteor showers.” He chuckled, searching the sky. “As a matter of fact, I actually considered being an astrophysicist for a while.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“Not a lot of people do. Mind if I hang around and watch the shower with you?”
She hesitated a few seconds before answering. “No, of course not. Pull up a cushion.”
He sat down across from her. They both looked up at the sky. “Actually, I know where there’s a better view of Polaris.”
“Where?”
“My suite.”
She looked at him warily. “You don’t give up easily.”
“Obviously,” he said truthfully.
The unabashed, matter-of-fact way he responded made her chuckle, but then she stopped instantly. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” he asked.
“Make me laugh,” she said.
“Why not? You have a great laugh and you need to laugh more. It’s contagious.”
“That’s what my mom says.”
“I know. I agree with her.”
She frowned. “Since when have you two gotten so close?”
“We’ve kept in touch over the years, mainly when I was asking about you. But I guess it was really right after your father passed. She needed someone to talk to.”
“She could have talked to me.”
“You were busy in New York. Then, when you came back here to live, you were busy running this place. You stepped in for your father seamlessly. She’s very proud of you,” he said, gazing at her. She looked at him, then quickly looked back at the stars. “Your mother is a wise woman.”
“My mother starring as Yoda, I don’t think so.”
“I do. She helped me a lot.”
“Really how?”
“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone not in the business. She has a great perspective on life. She reminds me a lot of you.”
They sat in silence. Each lost in thoughts, memories, and long-ago dreams. His last comment was what her father had always said. But she’d never seen it. “You know, Thomas Ford and the council are gonna try and get you to move your company here. That’s why they’re being so nice to you all of a sudden.”
“Really, all of a sudden? What, you mean they weren’t nice to me before?” he joked. She smirked, then stifled a smile that almost crept free. He grinned. “Wow, was that almost an actual smile I just saw?”
“No, definitely not,” she insisted, knowing he’d know she was lying. She looked at him, feeling a twinge of regret for being so rude and abrupt with him earlier. She stood and walked away. “I guess I was a bit harsh with you downstairs.”
He got up and stood right behind her. He touched her shoulder and turned her around to face him. “That would be an understatement,” he said, smiling.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. He took her hand and held it tenderly. Her heart slammed into her chest as he leaned in. Then, instead of kissing her like she thought he would, he just barely brushed his lips to her cheek as he just held her close.
“I know,” he whispered. She swallowed hard and looked down at his hand. “Carmen,” he said, tipping her chin up to look at him. “Don’t shut me out again, please. You have no idea how hard it was walking away from you.”
“You have no idea how hard it was kno
wing I let you go.”
“But you did. And you never looked back. We promised each other we’d travel the world together. It would just be the two of us. No parents, no grandparents, no college. Remember that?”
She nodded slowly.
“You and me forever,” he said, shaking his head regretfully. “It was a dream come true because I was so in love with you. But I was a fool.”
She looked up at him quickly. Sadness covered her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t.
“I believed you. But I learned my lesson. No one has ever gotten to my heart again.”
“Dean, we were kids. We couldn’t have done any of that. We had no money, no means to travel, how would we . . . ?”
“I was willing to try and you never even gave me the chance. I wanted you with me, and you pushed me away.”
“Your grandmother told me that you got a full-ride scholarship. I knew you were going to turn it down. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“So you made the decision for me.”
She nodded. “I had to. I knew you wouldn’t.”
“Growing up, you were like a sister to me. I always saw you like that, my best friend. But then after a while things changed. We changed. I knew what you were feeling for me, ’cause I was feeling the same thing. But I knew I was no good for you. They were all right about me.”
“No, they weren’t. They didn’t know you. I did.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you did, too well. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For pushing me away. For making me leave. It gave me the motivation I needed to want to succeed and to show you and everyone here that I could be more.”
“I never meant to hurt you. My actions were never meant to leave such pain on your heart. I only wanted to save you from . . .”
He looked up at her frowning. “Save me from what?”
“From me, from being here in Hayden. I knew how much you hated it.”
He shook his head. “I spent so much time trying to figure out what I did wrong, why you just pushed me away.”
“Psychology 101.”
“Yeah. I got that eventually.”
She laughed.
“Do you remember the last time we were up here?”
Her laughter ended. There was no way she would ever forget. That memory had been seared in her mind and heart forever. It was the first time they’d made love. “Yes.”
“Do you remember what I told you, what I asked you?”
“That was a long time ago, Dean.”
“I meant it. I still do,” he said, moving closer. The sliver of space between them vanished. “Nothing’s changed.”
Everything about this moment warned her to turn and walk away, but she felt herself cemented in place. The instant he pulled her into his arms, she knew it was too late. Instinctively, she raised her arms around his neck. The kiss came in raw, urgent need.
Lips parted, tongues delved, as he kissed her with deep, hungry passion. She reciprocated with equal intensity. Her insides trembled with desire. She’d had one taste and now she wanted as much of him as she could get.
Suddenly she felt the wall at her back. His lips ripped from her mouth and dropped to her neck. Hearing his lustful groan excited her more. Right here, right now, was all she could think about. The last slivers of reality perched on the edge, but she refused to see it.
Pressed so close, she felt the hardness of his erection throbbing against her stomach. Her body sent a flood of passion to welcome him. His hand slipped between their connected bodies and grasped her breasts, massaging them until her nipples hardened. She moaned as she reached down and cupped his penis through his pants. Feeling him, touching him, stroking him, sent another wave of ravenous need through her body.
Breathlessness turned to panting, then turned to mindless desperation. Her body quaked. She licked her swollen lips to moisten them enough to speak. “Dean,” she muttered.
“I know. Not here, not again,” he said, nodding.
She stilled, as her hands dropped to her sides. He leaned his face into the sway of her shoulder, cupping the back of her neck to kiss her one last time—on her neck, her ear, her cheek, and finally, with the softest touch, her lips.
“Can we at least be friends again?” he asked.
“Yes, we can be friends. Friends is how we started.” She looked up into his hopeful eyes. Her stomach tumbled and her insides felt as if they had melted away. She stepped away, quickly putting distance between them. “It’s getting late, friend, and I have to get up early,” she said, slipping her hand from his.
“What about the Ursid shower?”
“I’ll see it next year. Enjoy.”
“How about a friendly good-night kiss?” he joked.
She smirked, then turned to leave. “Good night, Dean.”
He watched her leave. He saw the smile in her eyes. That was a start. Seeing her earlier, how she was acting, cold and grim, broke his heart. She had never been like that before, at least not with him. The soft, shy, cheerful teenager had turned into a humorless stiff, surrounding her feelings with a brick wall and wearing armor around her frozen heart. But he saw hope in her eyes.
She had healed him years ago, and he knew he had to be there for her now.
Chapter 7
It took what seemed like hours to get to sleep. Then after a troubling, restless night of dreams, Carmen finally fell asleep and woke up stiff, achy, and tired from her spin class and the power workout. But the punishment her body had taken the day before at the gym was nothing compared to what her heart was going through now. She could feel herself teetering on the edge of loving him again. But in truth, she knew she’d never really stopped. And the dreams she had didn’t help.
They were erotic and steeped with passion and desire. Every dream started with a sweet and sexy kiss; then it exploded. Intense and powerful, raw and sensuous, each kiss drove her closer and closer to the edge. Then she’d wake up breathless and wanting more.
She’d had enough psychology classes in college to know that her subconscious wanted what she refused to allow her conscious to even think about. But, just like years ago, her mind had to overrule her heart. Dean was a distraction she didn’t need right now. She had a business to run, a mother to take care of, and other guests who needed her attention.
She still couldn’t believe she’d kissed him, and had she not left the attic last night when she did, who knew what might have happened. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and released it slowly. She just needed to be patient. A few more days and all this would be over. The countdown was on.
She knew he’d leave right after the parade. After all, he had a business to run and she knew there was no way he’d even consider bringing his new company here to Hayden after everything the town had put him through years ago. Under his calm, composed demeanor with Thomas Ford yesterday, she’d known there had to be more. And a couple of smiling faces, a few welcome homes and well wishes weren’t going to change that.
She rolled over and looked out the window. It was still dark outside, so she decided to stay in bed for a while longer. She smiled and snuggled beneath the covers, then closed her eyes, thinking about the day ahead. Hopefully it would be better than the day before. An instant later, her thoughts centered on Dean again. She eventually drifted off, remembering years ago when they’d hung out in the attic.
It had been their private refuge. There, surrounded by decades of Stiles family pictures, mementos, old furniture, clothes, books, and heaven knows what else, they’d had their first kiss. She was thirteen and he was fourteen. It was awkward and clumsy, but it was real and it felt amazing. She thought she had experienced nirvana. Since then, they had kissed many times with more passion and feeling than she’d ever imagined possible. Being with Dean had been her dream come true. But that was a long time ago, when they were young.
She sighed and slowly opened her eyes, leaving the past behind. She took a deep breath, stretched, and rolled over
to see the clock again. She sat up instantly. She must have nodded off because it was forty minutes later. She jumped up, grabbed a quick shower, dressed, and hurried downstairs to help her mother prepare breakfast.
As soon as she got to the dining room, she saw the table was prepared and the side-buffet was already set up with drinks, fruits, cereals, mini pastries, condiments, and a muffin and scone breadbasket. Everything looked scrumptious. Then, smelling something delicious, she followed the mouthwatering aroma to the kitchen.
Her plan was simple for this morning. All she had to do was stay in the kitchen and get through the morning. She’d be out all afternoon and working tonight. She’d avoid seeing Dean all day and she wouldn’t have to deal with what happened last night.
Hearing the oven buzzer go off, she pushed open the kitchen door and grabbed her apron, expecting her mother to be at the stove as usual. “Morning, Mom,” she said, not paying attention and tying the apron round her waist. “Mmm, everything smells incredible. So, what can I do to help?”
“Hey, good morning,” Dean said, turning the buzzer off and opening the oven door. “How’d you sleep?”
The sight of him stopped her cold. Dean was there, dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans that hugged his rear end to perfection. “Whoa, what are you doing? You’re not supposed to be in here—you’re a guest.”
He chuckled, placing the tray of scones on the trivets on top of the counter. “Yeah, I suppose I am, officially. Do me a favor and check the strawberry jam on the stove.”
Carmen turned, seeing the bright red bubbling mixture in the pot. She went over, picked up the wooden spoon, and began stirring. Then she added the rest of the berries and lowered the flame. The brisk boil slowed to a gentle simmer. “Seriously, Dean, what are you doing in here? Where’s my mother?”
He dropped the oven mitts beside the tray of hot scones. “She had to make a quick run. Apparently one of your guests asked the front desk for some muesli this morning. And since you weren’t up yet, I volunteered to keep an eye on the kitchen while she was gone. She told me the muesli was a special mix that only she knew how to make. So, here I am helping out until she gets back.”
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