“I was horrified. I was a home wrecker and I hadn’t even known it.” June rubbed her upper arms as though the memory still chilled her.
Benjamin wanted to hold her to offer her comfort, but he sensed she didn’t want to be touched yet. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“He wasn’t going to divorce his wife.” June continued as though she hadn’t heard him. “And I wouldn’t have wanted him to. It was never my intention to break up a family. Instead, he told me to . . . get rid of my baby. I couldn’t do that.”
Benjamin’s skin burned with anger. “What about your parents? Did they help you?”
June was silent for so long, Benjamin didn’t think she was going to answer him. He started to repeat the question when June spoke.
“My parents had never wanted me to go to college.” Her shrug was restless, uncomfortable. “I defied them to attend TFU. I think they were afraid something like this would happen.”
“But did they help you?”
June shook her head. “They threw me out of their house and told me not to come back. I haven’t seen them since.”
The knowledge stole Benjamin’s breath. “I’m so sorry.”
“So am I. But I’m also grateful. With God’s help, I managed. I’m raising my son. I also earned my degree and built a career.”
“After all that’s happened, why aren’t you furious with Simon? I’d be.” Thinking about how the older man had ruined a young woman’s life, all for his own selfish desires, made Benjamin want to pummel him.
“I was furious at first. Furious, ashamed, and afraid. He’d made a fool of me. But if it weren’t for Simon, I wouldn’t have my son.” June’s face brightened at the thought of her child. Her smile was almost ethereal. “And for that blessing, I could almost thank him. I won’t forget what he did. But in my heart, I’ve forgiven him for Noah.”
June amazed him. She’d been through so much. Simon had lied to her. Her parents had disowned her. She’d had to raise her child when she was young, single, and alone. But despite all of those hardships, she didn’t seem angry or bitter.
“How can you forgive someone who ruined your life?” Benjamin needed to know.
June blinked at him. “But don’t you understand? I’m sorry for the way it happened. But if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have Noah. How could I remain angry with anyone for that?”
June had a point. How could one hold a grudge against the person who’d give them their children?
“Do you know anything about the six-foot Christmas tree in . . . ?” Benjamin’s voice dwindled when he took in the changes to June’s office two weeks later.
“The lobby?” June completed his thought. “Yes, it’s lovely.”
And how would she describe her office? To Benjamin, it looked like Christmas on steroids. Gold tinsel hung in loops across her walls. Bows of red ribbons held tightly to her file cabinet drawer handles. Silver paper snowflakes clung to the window beside her desk. A carol—“Little Drummer Boy”?—played softly from an unseen source. The scent of cinnamons and apples seemed even stronger—or was that his imagination?
Benjamin snapped out of his surprise. “You’ve redecorated.”
“Just getting ready for the season.” June glowed with satisfaction as she gazed around her festive office.
“Is that what you’re doing with the tree in the lobby?” Benjamin scowled as he brought the conversation back to his original topic.
“That’s right.” Today’s brooch was a gold-and-silver Christmas tree pinned to her warm gold sweater.
The muscles in Benjamin’s neck and shoulders tightened as he spotted the mini Christmas tree on her windowsill beside a tiny Nativity scene. He’d been so disturbed by the new addition to their lobby this Friday morning that he’d come straight to her office. He hadn’t stopped to shed his parka.
“Shouldn’t you have discussed it with me first?” Benjamin’s grip tightened on his briefcase.
“What’s to discuss?” June shrugged her slender shoulders. “Christmas is as inevitable as my coming to work every day. Do I discuss that with you before getting out of bed?”
Benjamin had an immediate and inappropriate image of June in his bed, wearing sexy lingerie. With an effort, he banished the picture from his mind. “How did you even pay for that display?”
“You mean the tree and its decorations?” June smiled with complacency. “The money came from the Christmas budget.”
Benjamin’s frown deepened. “We don’t have a Christmas budget.”
“Of course we do.”
His confusion cleared. “Did you pay for it?”
June’s response was a smile.
Was there anything that would curb her Christmas frenzy? “Who helped you decorate the tree?”
“Elves.”
“Were their names Dita, Krista, and Howard?”
Another silent smile. But Benjamin didn’t need her confirmation. His staff had left their fingerprints all over the tree. Benjamin had noticed a miniature spaceship, the logo of the Cleveland football team, and a Sherlock figurine among the ornaments.
“It’s too early to put up a Christmas tree.” Benjamin rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.”
“I realize that.” June grew serious. “But we have a great opportunity to promote our Christmas dinner dance with Quincy’s Kwanzaa presentation tomorrow. We should have more than a hundred people here. I thought a fully decorated Christmas tree would help promote our event.”
He couldn’t argue with her logic. He just wasn’t ready to celebrate the season. “Next time, please let me know before you redecorate the center.”
“Fair enough.”
Satisfied—or at least as satisfied as he’d ever be after negotiating with June—Benjamin left her office. Between the dinner dance event and the hulking evergreen with the explosion of decorations in the lobby, June was determined to surround him with Christmas. How could he make her stop?
“Do you need a hand?”
June looked up from her event preparation checklist at the sound of Benjamin’s voice later Friday afternoon. Her heart stopped, then galloped, as he walked toward her from the other end of the community room. His loose-limbed grace brought to mind a panther on the prowl. The jacket of his dark brown suit hung open over his cream shirt. June’s fingers twitched to loosen his black tie. Her palms itched to remove his jacket. June fisted her hands to restrain her impulse.
“Excuse me?” She gave herself a mental shake. What had Benjamin said?
She’d been having these mental lapses for the past two weeks, ever since he’d stood up for her to Nessa at Books & Bakery. He must think she was losing her hearing.
“I asked if you needed a hand with anything.” Benjamin stopped an arm’s length in front of her. The twinkle in his eye made her wonder if he knew the real reason for her hearing problem. “Everyone else is gone.”
Surprised, June checked her black Timex wristwatch. It was almost six-thirty. “I hadn’t realized it was so late. I should be done in a few minutes.”
“Do you really think we’ll fill this room on a Saturday afternoon?” Benjamin looked around.
June’s eyes were drawn to his strong neck. She took a step back to prevent herself from closing the gap between them, then followed his gaze. She’d rented one hundred seats. But with Dita, Krista, and Howard’s help, she had set up only ninety of them, three sections each with five rows of six seats.
“Actually, I’m concerned we may not have enough chairs.” June set her hands on her hips. “We have about one hundred registrants. But since the event is free, not everyone would have signed up. And not everyone who registered will show.”
Benjamin took the presentation program off a nearby chair. “I just hope we didn’t waste a lot of money on an event that won’t be well attended.”
June stripped the program from Benjamin’s hand and put it back on the chair. “You aren’t into the holiday season, are you?”
His quizzical expressi
on was far too sexy. “What makes you say that?”
What is Benjamin doing to me with his voice, his eyes, his scent?
June put her hands on her hips. “You’re questioning the draw of the Kwanzaa presentation and you were irrationally opposed to the Christmas dinner dance.”
“I wasn’t irrationally opposed to it.” Benjamin closed the distance between them. “My reasons for not originally supporting it were very logical.”
“Give me some credit, Ben.” June crossed to the makeshift stage to mask the fact she was once again putting space between her and her attractive boss. “Why are you opposed to the holiday season?”
“Holidays are for families. I’ve lost mine.”
The pain in his voice cut at her heart. June turned to face him. He looked lost, vulnerable, confused.
She hurt for him. “May I ask—?”
“What happened to my marriage? It’s only fair, considering the personal questions I’ve asked you.” He dumped his gray winter coat on a chair and shoved his hands in his front pockets. “My wife of twenty years had been having an affair for the last two.”
That was what Dita had told her. But Benjamin’s confirmation was still shocking. “I’m so sorry.”
“So am I.” His voice was grim. “I found out the day before Christmas Eve. She’d been sleeping with my boss.”
June’s eyes widened with surprise. “Did she tell you?”
“No, I got home early from a business trip and walked in on them as they were undressing.”
Oh, my word. “What did you do?”
“I threw them out of my house.” Benjamin paced away from the stage as though propelled by residual anger. “They’d been having sex in my bed for years.”
Watching him prowl the community room in pain and anger brought back uncomfortable memories of the day Ethel had learned of her and Simon. June forced those images away and focused on Benjamin. What could she say to comfort him?
“I’m so sorry, Ben.”
He spun toward her. Benjamin’s expression changed as speculation entered his dark eyes. He paced back to her. “I haven’t gotten the female perspective. Tell me, why would a woman have a two-year affair instead of just divorcing her husband?”
At a loss, June shook her head. “I’m still trying to—” Oh, my.
“To what?”
She swallowed to ease the dryness in her throat. “To figure out how any woman married to you would want to sleep with someone else.”
A flash of heat shot from Benjamin’s eyes and into June’s bloodstream. He took her in his arms and lowered his head to hers. June gasped as he pressed his hard, muscled body against her.
Oh, my!
Benjamin swept his tongue into her mouth. This wasn’t the gentle, searching caress they’d shared in his office three weeks earlier. Yes, June remembered the date and time of that sensual exchange. This kiss was a demand, a possession. With his lips and tongue, Benjamin showed June what he wanted and what he was willing to give her in return. June trembled in his arms. As far as experience, he was light years ahead of her. She didn’t know whether she could give him all he asked for. But, oh, she was desperate to try.
She twined her arms around his neck and rose to her toes to mold her body to his. Tentatively, she touched his tongue with hers.
Was that his moan or mine?
She didn’t care. She could kiss Benjamin for hours, for days. She loved the feel of him, hot and smooth. The taste of him, spicy and intoxicating. The way he smelled, of cedar and shaving cream.
June stroked the length of Benjamin’s tongue, drawing him farther into her mouth. His moan was more of a growl deep in his throat, reverberating to the core of her. Her nipples tightened. Benjamin’s hands lowered from her waist and gripped her hips. June felt his arousal press hard against the juncture of her thighs. Her eyes popped open and she met his hard, hot gaze. Benjamin dropped his hands and June stepped back.
“I’m sorry.” They spoke at the same time.
“I don’t know what came over me.” Benjamin rubbed the back of his neck.
June knew what had come over her: lust. But what had such feelings gotten her in the past? Could she risk that it would be any different this time? Should she listen to her mind or follow her feelings? “I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow for Quincy’s presentation.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” Just confused and embarrassed. “You?”
“No.” His voice compelled her to face him.
She did. The same turmoil twisting her into knots clouded his gaze. “I don’t mean to mislead you. I’m just not sure if what we want is the right thing to do.”
“Neither am I.” Benjamin took his coat off the chair. “Like you said, things are complicated enough.”
“We’re both starting over. We should give ourselves some time.” But how much time?
“You’re right.” Benjamin nodded toward the door. “Are you ready to leave?”
“Almost.” June gestured toward the stage. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Benjamin hesitated. “Don’t stay too late. Good night.”
“Good night.” June watched him leave.
Benjamin was caring, compassionate, handsome, and sexy as hell. As much as she wanted to throw caution to the winds with him, was it worth the risk? And what would she be risking?
“The name Kwanzaa comes from the Swahili phrase matunda ya kwanza, which means first fruits.” Three weeks later, on Saturday, November twenty-first, Quincy addressed attendees in the Guiding Light Community Center’s packed community room.
Adults, teenagers, children, and seniors—familiar faces and new attendees—had crowded into the room this afternoon for the African American history professor’s seminar on the roots, meaning, and tradition of Kwanzaa.
Attendance was even greater than June had hoped for, which was good and bad. Good in that the center had correctly guessed the community’s interest in this topic; bad because they’d run out of chairs. They’d pulled chairs from other rooms and offices, but still a score or more people were standing and a dozen children were sitting on the floor. Success had its drawbacks.
“Kwanzaa is a cultural holiday rather than a religious one,” Quincy continued. “It reflects the need to preserve, revitalize, and promote African American culture.”
June looked around at the rapt expressions on the faces of Quincy’s audience. She caught Benjamin’s eye from across the room. She smiled and he nodded, albeit grudgingly.
“Kwanzaa is observed annually between December twenty-sixth and January first,” Quincy explained. “At the center of Kwanzaa are the seven principles, the Nguzo Saba: Umoja, which is unity; Kujichagulia, self-determination; Ujima, collective work and responsibility; Ujamaa, cooperative economics; Nia, purpose; Kuumba, creativity, and Imani, faith.”
With the help of a slide presentation, Quincy showed examples of Kwanzaa’s symbols and decorations, including the kinara, the candleholder that holds the seven black, red, and green candles that represent the Nguzo Saba.
Once Quincy wrapped up his presentation, which took less than an hour, June returned to the stage to moderate the question-and-answer session.
She smiled at Ramona, who was seated in the front row. “Thank you, Dr. Spates. I’m certain everyone enjoyed your presentation at least as much as I did. And we’re especially appreciative because you’ve donated your time to the center.” June paused for the audience applause. She used the opportunity to send Benjamin another smug look. “If you have any questions about Kwanzaa, please step up to the mic. We have one in each aisle.”
There were very few questions, probably because Quincy’s presentation was so thorough. But Quincy addressed each of the participants who wanted to ask questions or share observations with patience and humor.
Benjamin joined June and Quincy on stage to end the afternoon. “Dr. Spates, thank you again for your time. Your presentation was both informative and entertainin
g.” He paused for the enthusiastic applause and sent June a wry smile. “Before we close, I’d like to remind everyone of our upcoming Christmas dinner dance on December nineteenth. Proceeds will benefit the community center so that we can continue to provide events like this one. And remember, your tickets are tax deductible. Have a good afternoon, everyone.”
As with most Trinity Falls events, many of the attendees lingered afterward to catch up with friends. After thanking Quincy and Ramona privately, June and Benjamin waited near the exit to the parking lot to wish their attendees a pleasant afternoon and a safe trip home.
During a lull in the activities, June slid Benjamin a look. “Pretty good turnout.”
Benjamin gave her the wicked grin that made her toes curl in her shoes. “You want me to tell you that you were right.”
“Yes, yes, I do.” June folded her hands in front of her, tucking the manila envelope between her arms and her torso.
“June, you were right.” He gave her a slight bow. “Congratulations.”
“What good does it do?” Nessa appeared beside her. “This event was free. You didn’t even raise any money for the center. Isn’t that supposed to be your job?”
“Hello, Nessa.” June told herself to be cordial. “Did you have a pleasant time?”
Nessa clutched her purse to her side. Her fur-trimmed woolen coat was buttoned to her neck. “Isn’t your job to raise money for the center?”
“Yes, and we already have more than fifty paid registrations for the Christmas dinner dance.” June waved the envelope in her hand. She was using it to keep the forms and checks together and secure.
Nessa’s eyes moved from June to the envelope and back. She sniffed. “You’re wasting your time.”
June felt Benjamin standing behind her. She looked around the lobby and saw her new friends gathered in groups talking. Darius held hands with Peyton. Ean had an arm around Megan’s waist. Jackson and Audra had their arms around each other. Benita had one hand on Vaughn’s shoulder and another on Ms. Helen’s elbow. Sheriff Alonzo Lopez stood behind his wife, Doreen, with his arms wrapped around her. Zachariah stood talking with Dr. Olivia Stark. Connections. That’s what she saw all around her. That was what she was looking for as well.
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