Since I was already ditching the bra, Roni suggested, in her infinite, all-things-sex-related wisdom, that I go commando. No unsightly panty lines, she said, and there was such a “freedom” in it. A sense of sheer feminine power.
Well, sign me up. Anything I could do to empower myself on this particular day was a good idea, right?
Wrong.
I was starting to think this was a bad, bad idea, because going without panties did make me feel powerful. And sexy. Like horny sexy. And the very last thing I needed was anything making me hornier than I already would be in a room with Brody Mason and an open bar.
Yeah. Really bad idea.
But the eleventh hour was quickly evaporating and this day was not about me or my lack of panties. So I turned to the bride and put on a smile.
What greeted me was an image from the pages of a bridal magazine: Katie Bloom in a custom-made strapless champagne ball gown, a shade paler than the dresses we were wearing, with a fitted bodice and jaggedly-ruffled organza skirt layered over tulle. It was pretty, edgy, glamorous and perfect for her. Her thick, dark hair was piled in a loose, simple bun on the back of her head, a few strands framing her face, and she was wearing the rough-cut champagne sapphire earrings my brother had given her as a wedding gift. She looked like a total rock ’n’ roll dream.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, stepping in to get a closer look. Under her makeup, Katie’s creamy complexion and rosy cheeks were taking on a definite greenish hue. Kind of like rotten cheese.
“I’m fine,” she said, putting her hand on Devi’s shoulder for support.
“You are so not fine,” Devi said, examining her face. She handed over a bottle of water and Katie took a few sips, breathing slow, deep breaths in-between.
“Katie tends to blow chunks when she’s nervous,” her sister explained to me.
“Oh.”
“I do not!” Katie protested. “I’m just excited. And maybe a little hungover,” she added, squirming in her dress. “This thing is kinda tight. I think I ate too many cream puffs last night.”
“Just tell me if this is gonna turn into a scene from Bridesmaids so I can get the hell out of the way,” her sister said.
“Aw, shit,” Devi muttered, and in unison, we all stepped back.
Katie leveled her sister with a dark look. “I hate you. And I was just about to say, if you’d let me get a word in, that I love you. All of you. And before we go… out there… I want to thank you for being here.” Her breath hitched and her bottom lip started to quiver. “My last wedding was… a total disaster,” she said, her eyes starting to fill with tears, “and you ladies are my team. If Jesse ditches me at the altar, I’m really gonna need you.”
Last wedding?
If he ditches her at the altar?
Holy. Shit.
Someone ditched Katie at the altar?
I heard the sharp intake of breath as someone stepped into the room. We all cleared a path for Katie’s mom and her niece, Sophie, the flower girl. Mrs. Bloom was staring at her daughter, open-mouthed, tears quickly forming in her eyes. “Oh, my girl,” she gushed. “You look—”
“Don’t say it,” Becca cut her off. “You hated my wedding dress. I don’t wanna hear it. Tell her later, when I’m drunk.”
“Well, it was so short,” Katie’s mom said. “But this… Now this is a dress.” She fluffed up Katie’s tulle and fussed with the ruffles. “That white thing you wore, you know, last time,” she half-whispered, “it wasn’t you, with the stiff, straight lines and all the lace. This… this is you.”
“Because we picked it,” Devi said. “Last time, mother-in-law-zilla picked it.”
“Almost mother-in-law,” Katie’s mom corrected her.
“Almost.” Katie smiled as her mom kissed her cheek, but it was forced. Her lips trembled and her face started to crumple. “Mom… I am gonna feel so fucking stupid in this thing if he doesn’t go through with this.”
“Are you kidding me?” Devi said. “You look gorgeous.”
“So, so pretty,” her mom agreed.
“If he doesn’t go though with this, I’ll kill him myself and you can wear it to his funeral,” her sister added.
Katie laughed and sniffled, hugging her sister.
“Stop it right now.” Devi dabbed carefully at Katie’s cheeks with a tissue. “You’ll ruin your makeup.”
As I waited my turn to give the bride a final pre-ceremony hug, I felt more than a little honored that she’d asked me to be here; that she considered me part of her team. I liked Katie. A lot. And the thought of her so nervous on her special day, or throwing up on that beautiful dress, her guts turned inside-out, just because some asshole walked out on her… I moved to stand in front of her and took her hands in mine.
“Katie.”
She looked up into my eyes, sniffing. Her blue-green eyes were wet, shining, and pink at the corners. “Jessa,” she said softly.
“Jesse is not going to walk out on you,” I told her, squeezing her hands. “You know how I know that?”
“How?” she whispered.
“Because he loves you. And my brother does not walk out on people he loves.” Unlike me, I thought, and a wave of something like nausea rippled through me. Katie wasn’t the only one who’d drank too much last night. I took a deep breath to settle my stomach and my nerves. “I’m going to go out there and see him now, okay? Make sure the guys have their shit together. Is there anything you want me to tell him for you?”
Katie squeezed my fingers, tight. “Just tell him I love him, okay?”
“I will.” I kissed her cheek and hugged her close. “You look beautiful,” I told her.
Then I went to find my brother.
I found Dylan first, standing ready by the doors into the hall, smiling at me. I could hear music coming from inside. It was Ash and Paulie, one of Wet Blanket’s guitarists, playing U2’s “All I Want Is You” for the guests while they waited for the ceremony to begin. Just acoustic guitar, no vocals. And I got shivers, in a really good way.
This was happening. Right now.
“Wow, you clean up nice,” I told Dylan, which was an understatement. He’d shaved and his wavy, chin-length auburn hair was tied back; he was wearing one of his trademark kilts, which he always performed in, with his white dress shirt and jacket.
In a word, gorgeous.
“You too, bratface,” he said, kissing my cheek. “Though the cake on your butt was a good look, too.”
I sighed. The guys weren’t going to forget that anytime soon. “Have you seen my brother?”
Dylan cocked an eyebrow and looked over my shoulder.
I turned to find my brother, along with Jude, Zane and Brody, walking up, looking ridiculously handsome in their dark suits. They were followed closely by Katie’s dad, her brother-in-law, and her four-year-old nephew, Owen.
“Holy shit,” I gasped, getting a good look at my brother as Jude and Zane each gave me a kiss on the cheek. I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me at all—I didn’t even notice, in fact—that Brody completely side-stepped the situation, heading straight over to Dylan like I wasn’t here. “I don’t think I have ever seen you in a decent suit,” I told Jesse as he took his turn kissing my cheek. “I would say tone it down a bit, you know, give the ladies a chance…” I straightened the knot of his champagne silk tie, “… but you haven’t seen your bride yet.”
My brother smiled a smile so dazzling it could’ve blocked out the sun. “If I knew all I had to do to get you to come home was get married,” he retorted, “I might have done it long ago.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. You had to find Katie first.”
“How is she?”
“A little nervous. She told me to tell you she loves you. I hear her last wedding didn’t go so well?”
My brother’s face immediately clouded over, and he started toward the door to the ladies’ dressing room. “Where is she?”
“No, no, no.” I caught his arm and turned him back around, ste
ering him toward the door to the outer deck, where Jude and Dylan were now waiting for him. “You get your ass down that aisle and you wait for her. And once she gets there, you let her know you’re hers, for keeps. And you keep letting her know, every day, for the rest of your life—or I let Devi and Becca kick your ass.”
He grinned at me, but his eyes shone a little wetly. “Not a problem, little sister.”
I smiled. I had never been prouder of him. Which was saying a lot.
I’d always been proud of my big brother.
“But first, I have something to give you.” I pulled the little stick pin from the ribbon on my bouquet and showed him the red stone set into it. “It was Mom’s. Those earrings of hers, remember?”
“Sure. With the rubies.”
“Garnets, actually. Passed down from Gran Ashton. She used to love them. I remember when I was little watching her put them on and look at them in the mirror. She never wore them out because they were so damn special.” I shook my head and my brother laughed a little, remembering.
“Yeah, that sounds like Mom.” His eyes met mine. “Or maybe she never wore them out because Dad never took her anywhere worth wearing them.”
“Yeah.” I bit my lip a little. “Maybe that.”
“They’d be proud of you,” he said, his eyes softening. “They’d both be so proud.”
“Yeah, well.” I sniffed a little. Damn my brother. Making me cry, already? Before the bride even got to walk down the aisle? “The jeweler who made this for me mentioned that garnet is the birth stone for January. And now here you are, having a January wedding… and it just seems fitting that you wear it today. You know, for new beginnings. And to remind you that even though Mom and Dad and Gran and Gramps and… well… pretty much everyone else are gone, we come from somewhere. We have history. And now you and Katie… you’ll make new history. A new branch in the family tree.”
I pinned the pin to his lapel and showed him the other stone, which I’d had mounted on a thin chain around my neck. “We’ll both have them with us today.”
My brother pulled me in for another hug. “This is the best wedding gift I could get,” he said, “besides you being here.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” I released him. “Now get going, before your bride thinks you jumped out the window.”
Dylan held open the door and my brother and Jude swaggered on down the wraparound deck. I watched them pause outside the hall. Jude said something to Jesse. Then they laughed, they hugged, and they went in through the glass doors, taking their places before the officiant.
Once Dylan gave the nod that they were in place, he went out the door himself to head up front and take his seat with Ash and Paulie. “All I Want Is You” faded out. There was a quiet pause, and Zane stepped into place beside me.
I took his arm, then took a breath.
Then the guys started playing another song. It was The Beatles, “And I Love Her,” with Ash and Paulie on guitar, Dylan on bongos, and all three of them covering the vocal parts. It was a beautiful, slightly rocked-out arrangement I’d been lucky enough to hear them practicing just after lunch.
Taking his cue, Katie’s dad opened the door to the ladies’ dressing room. Katie emerged, followed by her mom, her sister, her niece and Devi, who were all fussing with her dress. Katie’s brother-in-law swept open the doors into the hall, leaving them open for the rest of us. Then, as the guests seated in the hall turned to watch, he walked Katie’s mom up the aisle.
Zane and I were next. I was really glad I got to go early, so I could see everything from up front; the setting was nothing short of utterly breathtaking.
It was a clear, early evening and beyond the cathedral-like windows, the last of a molten amber sun was melting into the horizon beyond the cove. It seemed unfathomable that they didn’t do weddings here on a regular basis. According to Maggie, this was only one of a select few they’d ever allowed. I had no idea what magic Brody had worked to make this happen, but he’d done well. Better than well. And I wanted to remember every detail.
The music, the flowers, the people… the look on my brother’s face; crystalize them forever in my memory.
Brody and Becca, who followed us up the aisle.
Devi, Katie’s stunning maid of honor.
Owen, adorable as he strutted up the aisle in his little suit, the rings on his little blush pillow… followed by his sister, Sadie, with her basket of flowers.
Finally Katie’s dad appeared, with Katie on his arm in that incredible dress. I watched her take a little breath as she stepped into place beside her dad, gripping his elbow. He said something to her and kissed her cheek. Then she looked up.
She looked straight down the aisle, like there was not one person in the giant hall. Not one, except my brother. And when she saw him waiting for her in his crisp suit and silk tie, grinning like a man in love, a sweet smile lit up her face.
My big brother, Jesse Mayes, married Katie Bloom just after five o’clock on a clear winter evening in front of their dearest friends and family.
He didn’t ditch her at the altar.
She didn’t throw up.
Chapter Seven
Jessa
“Okay, all you single bitches—oops, sorry, Mom. All you single ladies… keep your horny asses on the dance floor!”
Katie’s sister had strut onstage and taken over the mic, just as Wet Blanket was heading off. They’d wrapped up their set with a hot and heavy cover of The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me,” and a whole lot of blissfully drunken wedding guests were now screaming their appreciation of the night’s entertainment—at the same time, screaming their lament of Zane and his band leaving the stage. Myself included.
Although after last night, I was pacing myself on the booze; I was currently rocking a mild but pleasant champagne buzz.
“If you’re not already on the dance floor,” Becca added, “you’ve disappointed me and Zane, but you’ve still got time to redeem yourselves.”
As he departed the stage, Zane tossed a bunch of flowers stolen from the table arrangements into the crowd, laughing, and shouted, “Don’t worry, kids, the party’s just getting started!” As I was jostled about in the crowd, I could feel the effect Zane’s stage presence, in particular, had on the women around me, and I had to grin to myself. It was still kind of strange to reckon that shirtless sex symbol in low-slung jeans and leather vest, all washboard abs and piercings, with that cute but annoying boy I grew up with.
But a sex symbol he definitely was, and the other members of Wet Blanket weren’t exactly guys you’d kick out of bed. A supergroup put together by Zane and several of his rock star friends from other bands, they’d get together now and then, usually in L.A., and put on a random show, playing cover songs for those friends and family lucky enough to get an invite—pretty much for shits and giggles and their shared love of music. The fact that they were here was pretty epic, and a testament to their affection for my brother.
Even better, I’d just learned that Paulie, one of their shit-hot guitarists, was joining Dirty as their new, permanent rhythm guitarist. Officially, no one was supposed to know yet; Dirty was planning to make the announcement at a special show in Vancouver next week—also a secret—but Elle had spilled both tidbits to me.
“You’re Dirty,” she’d told me with a dismissive shrug. “Jesse or whoever will tell you anyway.”
And I was glad she’d told me.
Hearing those words—You’re Dirty—went a long way to reminding me that I belonged here, and not only because it was my brother’s wedding. I had more family here, after all, than just Jesse. And that reminder helped to counteract the incredibly opposite vibe I’d been getting from Brody all day.
After the cutting of the wedding cake—which, good for me, I did not put my ass in—I’d spent most of the night chatting and dancing with Elle. Maybe I figured she and I had some kind of special kinship now—like we’d made it into some crappy club. Elle had wanted my brother, but in the end she’d lost hi
m, and now here she was at his wedding to Katie. And here I was, gazing longingly across the room at Brody, all smoldering in his dark suit, like some mute, adolescent dork.
Of course, Elle had no idea about my… issues… with Brody.
No one really did.
But aside from those issues, I was having fun. I was covered in a sheen of sweat, my hair and my bridesmaid dress clinging to me, my toes starting to throb in my shoes, but I didn’t care. I was ready to dance all fucking night if it would save me from throwing a self-pity party.
Sure, Brody had grabbed me last night and yanked me up against him and held me, his fingers digging into me—sending all kinds of wicked signals between my legs. And he’d done it to save me from plummeting off a walkway into the dark, but that was a reflex; he probably would’ve done it for anyone.
Since then, he’d kept his hands the hell away from me. Like as far as he could get them without leaving the room.
“Crank the music!” Roni called out, jiggling up and down next to me, as eager as I was to keep dancing. But something was holding things up. I stumbled in my high heels as more ladies squeezed onto the dance floor; some of the guys were herding us together into a needlessly tight pack.
“Yeah!” I shouted, cupping my hands around my mouth so Becca could hear me over the crowd. “I want to dance!”
Then Katie walked onstage, twirling her bouquet in front of the cluster of women… as No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” started pumping through the room—and it dawned on me what was happening.
Ah, Jesus. The bouquet toss.
All around me women shrieked in excitement, and Roni was one of them. Not that Roni cared to get married; she’d just take her fifteen minutes of fame any way she could get them.
“No one trample Grandma Dolly, okay?” Becca called out, as Dolly was led to the edge of the throng, all smiles. “That’s a standing order. Jude and his guys are on hand if you bitch—I mean ladies get outta line.”
Dirty Like Brody: A Dirty Rockstar Romance (Dirty, Book 2) Page 8
