Her brow furrowed. “Why’s that?”
“Your idea to film rehearsals was brilliant. They worked hard to impress you each week, and now they’ve surpassed where I expected them to be at this point in the summer.”
A soft smile touched her lips. “That makes me happy. I’m sorry I didn’t call for the past couple of days. I’ve been busy making sure my new manager felt comfortable and understood my expectations.”
“Are you happy with him?” He’d talked to the guy on the phone once and he seemed like a stand-up person. Hopefully things would run smoothly under his management.
“I am. I think he’s what the staff needed. He runs a tight ship, but they appear to respect him and want to do their best.”
“That’s great. I want to hear more on the drive home.”
“Home.” She smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
He studied her face. She looked happy, unlike how she was when she’d left four weeks ago. Funny—he’d expected her to come back travel weary and stressed since she had left her restaurant in the hands of someone new.
Twenty minutes later they were traveling along I-205. He glanced her direction. “I’d love to hear all about your past few weeks. I know we talked everyday, but I’m sure there’s lots you left out.”
She nodded. “True. I don’t know where to start.”
“You never said how you figured out your old manager was skimming from the till.” He’d been meaning to ask her about it for weeks, but their conversations had been fast-paced and never long enough.
“I had some added security measures put into place. Which included video cameras that only I knew about. I focused them on the two registers. Everyone had to count the till with a witness before starting their shift and then after to make sure it balanced with the receipts.”
“Then how did you catch the person, if you made it impossible for them to steal from you?”
“Oh, I left out the important part. The video feed caught the person when they snuck over to the register and took a twenty-dollar bill. At the end of that person’s shift, the till didn’t balance. I pulled the video and saw who messed with it.”
“Very clever.”
“Thanks. It helped that no one but me knew about the new cameras.”
“Will you miss cooking?” She’d had to run the kitchen after Jeff left and seemed to really enjoy it. Most of their conversations had included the antics of the cooking staff.
“Yes, but working with the kids here is more fun.” She shifted to face him. “I heard from Jeff.”
“Oh?” He raised a brow. Unease filled him. “The two of you are on speaking terms now?” He’d carefully avoided bringing up her ex-boyfriend whenever they’d talked.
“Yes. We had a good conversation. I apologized for being an idiot, and he forgave me. I think we both learned a valuable lesson.”
“What’s that?”
“Both people in a relationship need to have the same expectations of where they want to go as a couple. I enjoyed our time together, but I never saw us getting married. I liked the convenience and security of having Jeff as my boyfriend, but I didn’t stop to think about what I was doing to him. I think we both learned that whomever we date in the future, we need to be clear up front about where we’re at.”
This was the opening he’d hoped for. His palms began to sweat. “With that in mind, if I said I’d like to date you, what would you say?” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. Her next words could make or break where his heart was headed. He was almost afraid to hear her answer, but he had to know before he made a fool of himself.
Chapter Eleven
Other than the sound of his tires on the roadway, silence filled the cab of Blake’s pickup. From her silence, he could tell his question had taken Estelle by surprise. Did she not see them going in that direction? Should he apologize? Panic seized him. Had their phone conversations not meant as much to her as they had to him?
“Are you asking me out?” she asked with surprise in her voice.
“I am.” He shot a quick look in her direction. A little smile touched her lips at the same time her brows furrowed. The smile, though small, encouraged him. “We could get dinner and a movie or go on a hike some Saturday and a picnic, or—”
“Yes.”
He chuckled nervously. “Yes to what?”
“A date.” She grinned wide now. “But no movies—I’ve seen everything I want to see, at least for now.”
“For real?” He began to relax and loosened his grip on the steering wheel.
“It’s kind of a hobby of mine. I have a movie producer friend who has an in-home theater. You may have heard of her, Alexis Trudeau. She hosts small groups each week.”
“Wait—you have a movie producer friend, yet you don’t have any offers for movie roles?”
Estelle shrugged. “She knows how I feel. But that’s beside the point. I make it my mission to see all the new releases I have any interest in. I suppose I could watch one again, if there’s something you really want to see, but it’d be more fun to do something together where we can talk.”
He liked the way she thought, but he couldn’t get past this new insight. “So you’re a movie buff. I had no idea.” He would have loved to hear about the movies she’d been seeing over the past weeks. He’d have to pay more attention to new releases and ask before she had a chance to see one. “Now back to the part where you said yes. What are you saying yes to?”
“Yes, I’m interested in dating you to see where things go. But for the record, I’m a wimp in nature.” She shivered. “I don’t like bugs or dirt.”
He chuckled. “Noted. No bugs.”
She faced him. “Where do you see yourself in five years, Blake?”
“Uh . . . I haven’t thought about it.”
“Well, you can’t live in Helen’s cottage forever. Now that you’re dating again, don’t you think you should find a real job and a place of your own?”
“Excuse me?” Irritation surged through him. Where did she get off judging him simply because he’d shown an interest in dating her? Derek had warned him about her. He should have listened. He wanted to tell her that where he lived and worked was none of her business, but he held back because he saw her point—even if he didn’t appreciate it. “If things are going to work between us, you need to accept me for who I am and not try to change me.”
“I wasn’t trying to change you. I only asked because I’ve decided to only date a man I can see myself marrying one day.”
His heart hammered. She can see herself marrying me? Maybe he’d overreacted. “I’m not sure I like your new approach to dating.” He chuckled nervously. “It’s kind of a lot of pressure.”
She brushed at her leg. “Just keeping it real. I’m sorry for offending you. I can see that I did. But like I said, I don’t want to lead a guy on that I don’t see myself one day marrying. So if I’m going to date you, I need to know what your future holds. I’m not living in a barn or a studio cottage for the rest of my life.”
He held back a laugh. When spoken out loud, his living situation did sound unorthodox. He shook his head. “I understand your point, but what you want is impossible. No one knows the future. We can plan, set goals, and strive for what we want, but there are no guarantees in life. If anyone knows that, it’s me.” His fingers began to hurt. He loosened his stranglehold on the steering wheel. “It only takes a small decision to alter the future. For example, if I’d agreed to drive my wife and daughter that day, they might still be here, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Trinity had a tendency to drive too fast, and she was running late because of me. I should’ve driven them.” He glanced her way.
Estelle dipped her chin. “I see your point, but you’re wrong about one thing.”
He frowned “What’s that?”
Her voice softened. “Based on your own theory, you don’t know what would’ve happened if you’d driven them that day. You might be dead too.”
He
ground his teeth and shook his head. “No way. The chances of that happening are almost nil.”
She blew out a breath and waved a hand. “Look, Blake. I’m not interested in debating with you. Their deaths are not on you. You did not cause that accident.”
“But maybe I could have prevented it.” His gut tightened.
She sighed. “Why are you so determined to hang onto the guilt and blame?” Her voice was tender. “It won’t change anything. Would your family want you to carry this burden for a lifetime?”
He knew the answer without giving it a thought. There was no way Trinity or Kendal would want that. He’d been carrying the burden of their deaths around for so long, he wasn’t sure how to let go. It was a part of him—clearly not a healthy part.
“I’m not one to preach, but are you familiar with the saying ‘let go, and let God’?”
“Yes. But I don’t see how that applies in my case. I’m not ignoring God’s will and doing my own thing.”
She reached out and caressed his shoulder. “Aren’t you?” she asked softly. “Jesus said in Matthew 11:30 ‘For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ He doesn’t want you to carry the burden of blame. Let Him have it.”
Though her words were spoken with care he was irked and didn’t appreciate the Bible lesson. “I didn’t know you understood the Bible so well.”
“Helen has been a great teacher. Plus I attend church and listen to what is taught.”
What was he doing? Estelle would never have said any of that if she didn’t care. The fight left him. “I hear what you’re saying, and believe it or not, I know in my head you are right, but I don’t know how to let go.” He wanted to be free from the guilt. His wife and daughter had deserved more. If he didn’t take responsibility for not protecting them, what kind of husband and father did that make him? Either way, he’d failed. Of course, Estelle also knew about failure. “You’ve had some tough stuff to deal with. How did you let go?”
“I’ve learned to accept that life happens. Don’t think I’m being flippant. I feel bad about things I’ve said and done all the time.” She bit her lip. “There are people I’ve hurt in my past, and sometimes that guilt sneaks up on me. I don’t believe I’m supposed to hold onto that guilt though, so I do my best to let it go by picking myself up and trudging forward, because the alternative is worse.”
His gut churned. “What’s the alternative?”
“Playing the blame game, not living, hiding from life, missing out on the good stuff . . . take your pick. I’m speaking from experience, so don’t tell me I’m wrong.”
“Yeah, but nothing you ever did caused two people to die.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Okay. But until you’re ready to let go of the past, I think it would be best if we didn’t date after all.”
“You’re serious?” He glanced in her direction and read sorrow on her face. Talk about a disaster. He should’ve let Amber pick up Estelle.
~
Estelle stared at the countryside as they zoomed along I-5 near Brooks. Tears of frustration and regret burned behind her eyelids. Hurting Blake was not what she wanted yet that was exactly what she’d done.
“I thought I could ignore that you blame yourself,” she said. “That it wouldn’t matter. I see now I was wrong. I’m sorry you went through that, and even if we aren’t dating, I’m here for you.” She should apologize for how harsh her words earlier had sounded, but she wasn’t really sorry for anything she’d said. He did need to let go of the guilt he carried, especially since it wasn’t his fault. And she seriously wanted to know his goals and dreams for life. Surely he didn’t plan to be a handyman forever. Then again, maybe that’s all he wanted out of life. But he had so much more to offer as a screenwriter or playwright.
“After my wife and daughter were killed, I was in a bad way,” he said, regret strangling his voice. “Depression and anger consumed me.”
She focused her attention on him. Maybe she’d gotten through to him after all. Hope surged through her.
“I hit bottom. Derek came for a surprise visit and found me in a sad state. After that he wouldn’t leave me alone. He pestered me every day to move to the cottage on his mom’s property in Oak Knoll. Helen’s health had improved dramatically, and she was self-sufficient, but Derek wasn’t comfortable with her living out in the country alone. He finally wore me down.”
“I don’t think Derek expects you to keep an eye on his mother for the rest of her life,” Estelle said softly.
“Probably not. But we keep each other company.”
“She’s not that old. She could find a man and remarry someday. What ever happened with Nick?”
A tiny smile tugged at his lips. “Remember the day he said to tell her hi? Well, I did, and she decided she needed to run errands in town the next day. She came home with a bag from Deli on the Rye.”
Estelle chuckled. “Sounds like a match in the making.” Relief soared through her—at least Blake was still talking to her like he used to. A few minutes ago, she was afraid he wouldn’t. “So if she and Nick get together one day, what would you do?”
“I’d move. It’s not like I’m destitute. I could easily buy my own place.” He sent her a sideways glance.
“Good to know. There’s something I should tell you. Probably should’ve told you from the start of this conversation.”
“What?” His gaze looked wary.
“Remember my producer friend I told you about?”
He nodded, eyes fixed back on the road.
“I showed her your musical. She loved it. She’ll be contacting you soon about optioning it for a made-for-TV movie.”
“A movie? But I write plays and musicals.”
“It’s not difficult to adapt.” She frowned. “Aren’t you excited? I thought you’d be thrilled.”
His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but he didn’t say anything.
Disappointment flowed through her. She’d been so elated to see Blake at the airport and thought for sure his being there was a God thing. Now she wished she’d kept her mouth shut about everything and never pitched his musical to Alexis.
“I guess I’m stunned,” Blake said. “I didn’t expect you to show my work around. In fact, I figured you’d keep it quiet since you didn’t want anyone to find out about your involvement. Thank you for showing her.”
That’s it? She scratched her head. She sure wasn’t in Hollywood anymore. “You’re welcome, but I thought you’d be excited or something.”
“I am excited, but it’s a lot to take in. I never expected in a million years someone would want to adapt my musical into a TV movie. This is too cool.”
“I guess I understand that. I did drop that out of nowhere on you.” And she’d enjoyed every minute in spite of his lack of enthusiasm at first.
They passed the sign welcoming them to Oak Knoll. “Why are we in town?” she asked. “I thought we’d go straight home.”
“I need to stop by the community center first.”
“Will you be a while? I could head over to the grocery store.”
“I’ll take you there when I’m finished. I’ll only be about twenty minutes.”
“Then I’ll head over to Java World. I want to thank Gabby for sending Cerise my way.”
He parked and his eyes held hers for a moment. “Meet back here in twenty minutes.”
Her insides leapt at the look in his eyes. She couldn’t quite decipher what it meant, but it was definitely a good thing. “Will do.” She hopped out then darted across the street. A minute later she pushed through the door of Java World. Cool air whooshed over her, carrying with it the rich scent of coffee.
“You’re back.” Gabby smiled wide, looking past the other customers in line and focusing on Estelle.
Her face heated as nearly everyone turned and stared at her. She raised a hand and waved.
Gabby motioned to one of her employees to take over the reg
ister. Then she brought someone out from the kitchen to help her make drinks. The line moved pretty fast, but before Estelle got to the front, the shop owner appeared by her side, holding a grande iced green tea.
Gabby thrust the drink toward her. “I made your regular. On the house.”
“How nice. Thank you. What’s the occasion?”
“You hired my cousin. I could hug you, but I read somewhere that you’re not a hugger.”
Estelle chuckled. The tabloids never ceased to surprise her with the things they printed. How had they concluded she wasn’t a hugger? “You can’t believe everything you read.” She opened her arms and gave the woman a hug, then stepped back. “Thank you for sending Cerise my way. I don’t know what I would have done without her. The staff loves her and my customers love her new menu. Would you care to join me for a few minutes?”
“Sure. We missed you around here.” Gabby led the way to Estelle’s usual spot, which happened to be vacant.
Estelle liked sitting at the bar because it looked out onto the sidewalk. “Thanks.”
“How is Cerise doing? I know you said everyone loves her, but is she adjusting okay?”
“I believe so. When I left, she seemed happy.”
“Yes!” Gabby did a fist pump. “I knew she was perfect for the job. She’d been on the lookout for something new for about a year. But she’s so picky about where she’ll work.”
“I asked her about that.” She’d been very pleased with Cerise’s answer too. It added to her confidence that she’d hired the right chef. “I really only stopped in to say thanks for sending your cousin my way. I like her a lot, and I think she’s going to be great for the business.”
Pride shone in Gabby’s eyes. “Cerise and I are technically cousins, but she feels more like a sister. My parents took her in when her parents could no longer care for her.”
Estelle’s heart hurt for the child Cerise once was. “How sad about her parents. I’m sure that was really hard for her. She’s an only child?”
Gabby nodded. “So am I. We filled our summers with baking and creating new dishes to surprise my parents each night when they returned home from work. Those were such fun times.” She sobered. “I tried to help Cerise forget about her loser parents.” She shrugged. “The cooking and baking helped.”
An Encore for Estelle (Melodies of Love Book 2) Page 11
