by Karin Baine
‘Are you okay?’ His voice shook with restraint but the concern in his tone promised he wouldn’t make another move without affirmation. Her gasp had probably given away her inexperience as much as the tension in her body, which was slowly beginning to subside now that he’d stopped moving. That didn’t mean she wanted to stop altogether.
‘Uh-huh.’ She nodded her head since her brain was apparently still in a post-orgasm fugue and incapable of forming actual words. That small movement alone brought a groan to his lips as their bodies rubbed together once more.
‘I want this, Ben.’ She said it as plainly as she could so there could be no doubt in his mind that she was ready to take the next step.
It took a few seconds for him to register what she was saying, and probably decide what he wanted to do next, then he simply whispered, ‘I’ll take it slow.’
He sealed his promise with another kiss to melt any residual tension in her body. She’d seen enough of this man recently to know he never said anything he didn’t mean, or did anything to hurt another soul, and she believed in him to guide her safely through the unknown.
A tentative upward tilt of her hips was her signal to him that she still wanted this as much as he did.
* * *
No matter how turned on Mollie had been, there was no mistaking the tightness that had surrounded him or that sharp cry as he’d entered her. She was a virgin. Whatever reasons she had for granting him the privilege of being her first, and not telling him why, were questions for another time because now there was no going back. Especially when she was responding so enthusiastically to him.
All he could do now was ensure the experience was as good for her as he knew it would be for him. He’d considered himself fortunate to even be with this beautiful woman when she was clearly so hung up on her body issues, but for her to trust him with the most precious part of her womanhood was a responsibility he wouldn’t take lightly. It was a commitment he hadn’t anticipated making, but they’d shared so much over the course of these past days he couldn’t imagine walking away from her even if she had told him she was a virgin.
It all came down to the fact he wanted to be with her. Mollie had given him so much, made him feel more wanted and appreciated than he had in an age. He’d spent so long on a relationship that was never going to work, with a woman who wanted him to be less than he was, it would’ve been an act of self-sabotage not to pursue this connection he had with Mollie. She was someone willing to make as many sacrifices in the name of love as he was. It was obvious that was what this was—love—she would never have given herself to him otherwise, and, though it was a sobering thought and further complication in his life, it was a relief to finally give a name to the demon plaguing his every waking moment, too. He was in love with Mollie and the realisation only fuelled his desire for her.
They moved together slowly, as in tune as they had been since the moment she’d walked into his personal life. He didn’t see her scars any more than she seemed to recognise his flaws. Not everyone could put up with his busy lifestyle and perhaps he did spread himself too thinly, but Mollie accepted that was just who he was and didn’t put any pressure on him to change. It only made him want to be with her more. To love her more.
Every stroke claimed another part of his soul as hers; that emotional attachment between them growing as deep as the well of trust he saw reflected in her eyes. Their lives now were so deeply entwined he could no longer see a way to separate them. Nor did he want to. Not when he’d finally found his peace.
Mollie’s breath came in small erotic groans, her head thrown back in abandon to the motion of their bodies as his sole pursuit became her all-encompassing pleasure. He kissed and licked all those areas he already knew were sensitive while he drove into her molten core until those groans of pleasure became cries of complete fulfilment ringing in the night. As she fully opened up beneath him, that current of desire carried him right along with her.
* * *
Mollie needed time to catch her breath and come to terms with what had just happened. Tonight changed everything for her and not only because of the physical barriers Ben had helped her to overcome. Simply being able to share her body with him without fear of ridicule was a game changer for her. That confidence booster was a step ever closer to that new, independent life she’d imagined lost to her. The trouble was she couldn’t imagine sharing herself with anyone other than Ben now.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he said softly beside her.
She closed her eyes, unable to meet his gaze even after everything they’d shared because that information she’d held back was something she should have prewarned him about.
‘You have a certain reputation yourself, Mr Sheridan. Would you really have wanted to take on an inexperienced spinster who lives with her mum when I’m sure you have the pick of the entire female species at your beck and call?’ Suddenly she felt very vulnerable lying there naked in his bed, comparing herself to all those who’d probably lain there before her. She tried to pull the covers from the bed up over herself in a late attempt to hide her insecurities, but Ben pushed them away again and let his hand skim over her body instead.
‘I’ll admit there’ve been women in my life since Penny.’
She stiffened.
‘But...things never went further than a date. You know reputations are an exaggeration of the truth. There hasn’t been anyone I wanted to let into my life, into my bed, until now. It’s taken me a long time to trust again. That’s why I know this was a big deal to you, too. You’ve given me so much tonight and if I’d known...well, I could’ve made things better for you.’ He slid his hand gently up her spine and this time the shivers he created came from anticipation rather than fear. Every time he touched her now those new heights of pleasure he’d helped her discover would come back in a rush of hormones and sensations.
‘It gets better?’ She couldn’t help but tease him, knowing he would most definitely rise to the occasion. There was no way of knowing if tonight would be a one-off and, if so, she didn’t want it to end.
‘Do I need to show you?’ He was grinning now as he continued his perusal of her curves with his fingers, grazing over every erogenous zone and driving her to distraction.
‘Maybe...’ All pretence of coyness vanished then as he moved between her thighs, testing her readiness with his fingers until she no longer cared about anything other than exploring every new facet of her womanhood with this man.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘HOW ARE YOU this morning?’ Ben’s now oh-so-familiar hands slid around Mollie’s waist as she stood at the breakfast bar in his kitchen pouring two glasses of pure orange juice. She was wearing his shirt again to cover the modesty she’d long forgotten last night, along with her clothes in the tumble drier, while he was padding around the apartment in nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts and a smile. To her there seemed no more intimate picture than the two of them together sharing breakfast and the sunrise. Well, perhaps one other thing but she’d made sure they did that behind closed doors.
‘Thirsty.’ She handed him a glass, pretty sure he was in dire need of refreshments too after his exertions. They’d worked up quite a sweat in the joint exploration of her sexuality last night and this morning. She knew there’d be a thousand and one questions for her when she did the walk of shame home in yesterday’s clothes but none of that had mattered to her during the course of her time with Ben. Even this morning, when her absence would be more noticeable than ever, she wasn’t in any hurry to leave. She didn’t want this moment to end.
Spending the night with him had opened her eyes to a whole new world awaiting her—a love life—and she was keen to catch up on all the years she’d missed out on. She didn’t know if it was supposed to be like this every time but sex with Ben was something special, every second of which she intended to relish, and she would be more than happy to spend the rest of the d
ay back in bed with him.
During her nursing years she’d always been a keen learner and this was no different. She wanted him to show her, to teach her everything there was to know about his body, and her own. He’d brought her to such heights of pleasure she hadn’t known she was capable of reaching and that alone was intoxicating enough, even without being madly in love with him. It wasn’t something she knew a lot about other than it drove the women in her life a little crazy and now she could see why. It was difficult to think straight, or about anything other than being with him, and after last night she doubted she ever would again.
Ben knocked back the glass of orange in one shot, the sight of him standing there with his abs on show, condensation from the glass dripping down his chest, like watching a real-life diet soda commercial. There was no way fruit juice was ever going to be enough to quench her dry mouth now, but she did hope it would go some way to replenish her energy levels so she could test him on whether his prowess and her thrall with him had been more than mere naivety.
They both slammed their glasses down on the counter at the same time before launching at each other in a frenzy of desire. She didn’t care about the granite worktop biting against her skin as he slammed her up against it with the full weight of his body when his lips were locked around hers, focusing all of her nerve endings in one place. He cupped her backside in his hands in an act of such possession she literally went weak at the knees. She knew she was his, body and soul, when she ached for him so badly.
‘What the hell are you doing in my house?’ The angry voice of Ben’s grandfather followed by the tight grip of his fingers around her wrist yanked Mollie out of her loved-up haze.
Her eyes fluttered open to see pyjama-clad Hugh, red-faced and only millimetres from her face. In a matter of seconds she’d gone from blissfully happy to confused and afraid, but Ben was there providing a safety barrier between them and trying to gently pry his grandfather’s hand from her arm.
‘Grandad? Grandad? This is Mollie, remember?’ Ben used that same level tone she’d heard him use with patients, even though this was very much a personal matter that had startled them both out of their reverie.
It had been easy to forget the complications of carrying on a relationship when his grandfather was in residence and clearly easily confused. She could only imagine what was going on in his head now to find her and Ben together in such a compromising position.
Spit formed at the corner of his thin lips as he confronted them and, though Mollie felt sorry for him and Ben that he no longer even seemed to recognise his own grandson in his current state, she had her own issues to deal with. That display of aggression couldn’t fail to create flashbacks of her father unleashing his rage on the family, and even though Mollie hadn’t had it physically directed at her the fear was all the same. There was no way she would ever put herself in a position to be that cowering victim again, and Hugh’s outburst showed her just how much hurt she was potentially opening herself up to by getting involved here.
She thought about denying what he was saying, or even trying to reason with him, but she was paralysed with the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and antagonising him further.
‘I’m your grandson, Ben. This is my place. Remember? We had to sell your house after Gran passed away and you couldn’t manage on your own.’ Ben was left with no other choice but to cruelly spell out the facts and she knew every word must have broken his heart to say. How often he’d had to repeat them didn’t bear thinking about.
‘We were so happy.’ Hugh broke down in tears and let go of her arm to hold his head in his hands. She found an inner strength to back away towards the door as Ben went to comfort his grandfather.
‘I should go,’ she mouthed, and she grabbed the clothes Ben had thoughtfully taken out of the drier and left neatly folded on the kitchen table for her. As she watched him gather his grandfather in a hug and let him cry on his shoulder, she knew there was no room for her here.
* * *
Ben knocked on Mollie’s office door, his heart pounding with the uncertainty of how she’d react to this morning’s events or even seeing him here. He hated the feeling of powerlessness watching his grandfather succumb to this cruel illness just as much as having to watch Mollie walk out of the apartment without giving chase. That great strain on his loyalties was the very reason he should’ve known better than to get involved with another woman so he didn’t blame her for not wanting to stick around. Few people did in the circumstances. Even a night of fantastic sex couldn’t counteract the effect of an elderly man with dementia on the scene.
No matter how much he’d wanted to apologise to her for what had happened and hug her, too, his grandfather had had to come first this morning when it had been clear he was in such a bad way. Ben would never have contemplated having her to stay over if his grandfather had shown previous signs of aggression and put her in any sort of danger.
He’d never displayed that level of temper before, not even in Ben’s younger days when he’d had difficulty staying out of trouble. He wasn’t convinced the real Hugh Sheridan would’ve acted like that and it brought a new problem they were going to have to face together. That failure to recognise his own family member had left Ben no other choice but to seek immediate medical help to stabilise his mood.
The bonus of being in the profession was access to those who were able to offer his grandfather the best treatment available without joining the ever-growing waiting lists. Not everyone had that option and he was grateful they’d been able to be seen straight away. Unfortunately it had meant abandoning Mollie at a time when he should’ve been there for her, too.
He didn’t hesitate to enter her room when she called out her customary cheery invitation to enter.
Her smile faltered a little when he strode into the room as though he deserved her time and his bravado did threaten to desert him there and then but she was too important to him to simply accept defeat.
‘I’m so sorry, Mollie. I know you must be mad at me, but he wasn’t in his right mind this morning. I couldn’t leave him.’ He crouched down on the floor beside her chair and took her hand in his, begging for her to see how difficult the decision had been for him to make and how his conscience was continually battling to ensure he did the right thing.
‘I know. Is he all right? Are you?’ She stroked the side of his face with her hand and immediately quietened the chaos going on in Ben’s head. She understood him and the decisions he was forced to make more than anyone else ever had, even though they’d really only known each other for a short while. Even now, when she had every right to take offence at the treatment she’d received at the hands of him and his grandfather this morning, her concern remained solely for their welfare. That said a lot about the kind of person she was and how infrequently she put her own feelings first and only served to increase the weight of guilt on his shoulders.
He knew something of the sacrifices she already made for her own family and he didn’t want to be another burden upon her good nature.
‘We’re fine. He settled down eventually and Amy’s keeping an eye on him until I get back. She assures me she’s seen all this before and it’s part and parcel of caring for dementia patients. I’m sorry if either of us hurt you this morning. I just wanted to come and make sure you were okay. I will totally understand if...if you don’t want to see me again. Don’t feel obligated because of the contest. I can always withdraw our names and give a donation instead.’
If there’d been any doubt in her mind about what she was getting herself into, this morning’s events had spelled it out clearly for her and it wouldn’t come as any great surprise if she’d decided enough was enough. That didn’t mean he had to like it.
Every time he thought of his grandfather’s tight grip on her arm and that look of fear on her face he wanted to smash something in pure rage. If it had been any other man in any other circumstances he probab
ly would have but it wasn’t going to help matters at the minute. From the little information she’d shared about her father’s cruel nature, and his grandfather’s behaviour towards her this morning, she’d been a victim of enough male aggression to last a lifetime.
‘Is that what you want?’ A frown dimpled her forehead as she contemplated what it was he was saying to her.
As much as it was killing him, he was giving her the option of backing away now before things got even more complicated, and painful, for either of them. He didn’t have any magic cure for dementia or a solution to the demands it would create on a relationship, but he could hope Mollie could see as much potential they had as a couple as he did. He really didn’t think he’d recover if she left him when she was the one person who truly seemed to care for him.
‘No, but I don’t want to hurt you. I’m always going to have to prioritise Grandad’s health over my love life.’ She’d already shown her trust in him and an emotional investment that went beyond the realms of a mere one-night stand and it didn’t seem fair that he had nothing to offer her in return.
‘I’m a nurse and I’m used to dealing with the elderly and infirm. I don’t take it personally.’
‘You don’t have to downplay it for my sake. Last night was a huge step and this morning, well, I’m sure it wasn’t how you imagined the morning after your first time.’ He wasn’t trying to be big-headed; everyone remembered their first time and not always with fondness. He’d wanted to make it special for her, and being attacked by his grandfather and practically shoved out of the door next morning wasn’t the memory he wanted her to take away from their night together. Given another chance, he would have done things differently. Say in a secluded hotel room with a do-not-disturb sign on the door.
She’d given a lot of herself to him, more than he’d realised at the time, and giving him her virginity wasn’t something she would’ve done without a lot of soul-searching. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve such an honour but he hoped she wasn’t regretting it in the cold light of day. Life was so terribly complicated right now he didn’t know what the future held for any of them, but he did know he didn’t want to let her go. If it wasn’t too late he wanted the chance to prove how much she meant to him even if his actions, or apparent lack of them, this morning had made her believe otherwise.
