A Cry For Hope (ARC)

by Beth Rinyu

  “That sounds great,” I said.

  She took my hands in hers. “I missed my little ho ho.”

  We both began to giggle. “I missed you, too.”

  “I have to get going. Alex is sick and needs his antibiotics, the big baby!” she joked.

  “K, tell him I hope he feels better.”

  She gave me a kiss goodbye and walked off to her car. I remained sitting on the curb, staring into space. I had gotten Tina back in my life, but I was soon going to lose another friend, the one that I had begun to depend on the most. I chased away the burning in my eyes at the mere thought of it. An idea struck me as I looked through the photos once again. I quickly put my pictures away, stood up, and headed to the craft store to gather the supplies that I needed.

  I pulled into the driveway and was pleasantly surprised to see Nick sitting on the front porch. “Well, well, well. What brings you here?” I asked as I got out of my car and walked up the driveway.

  “Well, I kinda got kicked out of my dad’s.” He grinned.

  “Oh no. What happened?”

  He flashed me those dimples. “Somehow I didn’t think the bottle of wine chilling in the fridge, the perfectly set table, and the candles that he bought for the dinner he was preparing all day long was meant for me. Then when your mom showed up, it kind of confirmed it.”

  We both began to laugh. “Well, you are always welcome here,” I said. I unlocked the front door and we both entered.

  I quickly ran up into my bedroom and threw the bag from the craft store onto my bed. I took out the pictures, making sure I took the selfie photo of Nick and I out, then headed back down the stairs. “Check these out!” I said, tossing the envelope of pictures at Nick. I sat down next to him and watched the smile spreading on his face as he looked them over. I noticed him paying close attention to one picture in particular. I leaned over and saw that it was one that my mother had taken of him and me in front of the lake. His smile became wider as he looked at it. “You can have it if you like,” I said.

  He finally turned his attention back to me. “Thanks,” he responded. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

  “Not really. I had lunch with Jamie’s mom and overstuffed myself on French cuisine. What were you thinking?”

  “Chinese?”

  “I guess I could shove an eggroll down.”

  I grabbed the takeout menu from the kitchen drawer and placed our order. “So how did your lunch go?” Nick asked.

  “Fine…until the very end.”

  “What happened?

  “The ‘other woman’ came walking into the restaurant.”

  “Uh oh, you didn’t behave like you were on one of those trashy talk shows, did you?” Nick grinned.

  I shook my head and sighed. “Oh, Nick, she’s just beautiful. She made me feel like how I used to feel around Heather Braverman in middle school. No wonder he -.” I paused, trying to pull it together. “I mean, why would he want Raggedy Ann when he could have Barbie?”

  Nick looked at me and shook his head. “Hope, don’t you ever put yourself down like that. You are a beautiful woman and anyone that can’t see that is just plain old stupid. Heather Braverman had nothing on you and I’m sure this girl doesn’t, either.”

  “Well, that’s very kind of you, Nick, but I think you would have chosen this girl at the school dance over me any day.”

  “Did I choose Heather Braverman over you? I may have copped a feel, but I saved my first kiss for my favorite girl.”

  “Really? That was your first kiss? I have to admit that you were pretty good at it,” I giggled.

  “Well, what can I say? I’m a natural.” We both began to laugh. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the top of my head. “And you know what? I wouldn’t have wanted that first kiss with any other girl.”

  “Thanks, pal,” I whispered. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, wondering how the heck I was going to manage once he was gone. Just like back in eighth grade, I was going to have to get over losing my best friend all over again.

  Nick and I hung out until my mother got home and he figured that it was safe to go back home. It was already after eleven, but I didn’t care. I was dying to get started on my project. I opened my closet and pulled down my box containing all of my old photographs, taking out all of the ones of Nick and me.

  “Come in,” I said when I heard my mother knocking lightly on the door. I immediately stood up and grabbed one of the tea cups that she had in her hand.

  “I made us some peppermint tea. Remember, this used to be your favorite when you were a little girl?”

  “I still love it. Thanks,” I said as I lifted the tea cup to my lips.

  “What are you doing?” my mother asked, sitting down on the floor next to me and looking over the pictures.

  “I’m making a scrapbook for Nick as a going away present.”

  “Oh, that’s so nice!”

  “I’m really going to miss him. He’s such a good friend.” She looked at me sadly. “So how was your date?” I asked, trying to shift to a happier topic.

  “It wasn’t a date,” she clarified.

  “Hmmm….that’s not what I was told. I heard there were candles involved, a bottle of wine chilling, and a love-crazed man spending the whole day in the kitchen,” I teased.

  My mother shook her head and laughed. “Brat!” We both began to giggle. “How was your lunch with Kate?”

  “Oh, it was very nice.” I didn’t want to tell her about my little run-in with “her”. I grabbed the box containing my birthday present from Kate and took out the picture. I watched the corners of my mother’s mouth turn up as she wiped a tear from her eye.

  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  I took the picture from her hand and studied it closely. “You know, I think his eyes were actually bluer than Jamie’s. But there was no denying who his daddy was.” My mother placed her hand on my arm when she heard my voice cracking, while my eyes remained focused on the picture. “There’s some little girl out there who will never know what a wonderful husband he would have made one day. I’ll never know what it feels like to be a grandma. His life hadn’t even begun. Why? Why did this have to happen to him?” I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m bringing you down after your perfect night,” I said, trying my best to pull it together.

  “Oh, don’t be silly. I love talking about Charlie. As much it pains me, it makes me happy, too.” I looked at her, totally confused by her response. “I’m slowly learning how to celebrate his life instead of mourning his death. I can’t wait until you can get to that point, Hope.”

  I nodded, even though I knew the prospect of that ever happening for me was slim to none. I placed the picture on my dresser and stared at it for a little while longer.

  We looked over the pictures scattered on my floor. I leaned over to see which picture my mother was giggling over. “Oh, my god! I forgot all about that!” I said as I looked at the picture of Nick and me from our second grade play of the Wizard of Oz. I was the scarecrow and he was the cowardly lion. The part of Dorothy was played by none other than Heather Braverman. “Oh, this one is definitely going in the book.”

  Soon, we were beginning to do more yawning than talking. “Well, I’m beat. I’m going to bed. Good night, Hope.” She placed a kiss on my cheek and headed out the door.

  I looked around at the mess on my floor. I put all of the pictures that I had picked out on my dresser. I picked up the rest and began throwing them back in the box until I came to the one that made my heart hurt. It wasn’t one of Nick and me. It was Jamie and I when we first started dating. Back when I was his “Barbie” and he didn’t need anyone else. I crawled into bed and turned off my lamp. I tucked the picture under the covers, hoping to relive that night in my dreams.

  Jamie and I had been dating for almost a month and I was in heaven. His kiss was to die for, his touch left me wanting more, and I couldn’t wait
to experience what it would be like to actually make love to him. Our time together was limited. He was working at a law firm close to where he lived, which was an hour-and-a-half away, and I had started my new job, which was right by my house. So we would really only get to spend time together on the weekends. I talked to him every day on the phone and my face would hurt from smiling. I knew that a lot of it had to do with the newness of the relationship, but there was just something about him that was different. There was a comfort level as well as a strong attraction that I had never felt before.

  I was super excited when he asked me to accompany him to a work function. I prepared all week, picking out the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, and purchasing all new make-up. I wanted to look perfect for him. By the time Saturday came, I was a bundle of nerves. Patty came over and did my hair and make-up for me as I anxiously waited for him to pick me up. I told him that I would drive the hour-and-a-half to the restaurant that the function was being held at, but he insisted on picking me up. My mother had met Jamie very briefly once, but my father hadn’t…another thing that was adding to my stress level. I could tell within the first ten seconds if my dad liked a guy that I had brought home, but it wasn’t often that he did.

  Patty had just finished putting on my lip gloss when I heard the doorbell ring and my heart dropped to my knees. “Wait, wait, wait! Blot your lips together!” Patty shouted as I darted out of the bathroom door and down the stairs.

  My dad was just starting to get up to answer. “I got it!” I shouted as I whisked past him. I opened the door and couldn’t contain my smile. God, he was handsome in his perfectly tailored grey suit. His suntanned skin made his hair look even blonder and his eyes even bluer. My stomach was doing cartwheels just looking at him. He could probably have any girl that he wanted and he chose me. “Hey, come in,” I said, opening the door wider.

  He brushed his lips on my cheek and my insides tingled. “You look really beautiful,” he said.

  “Thanks. So do you.” I shook my head and giggled. “Handsome, I mean you look really handsome.”

  I took a deep breath, when I heard my dad loudly clearing his throat. “Oh, Jamie, this is my dad.”

  Jamie extended his hand as I held my breath, trying to gauge my dad’s expression. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Foley.”

  My father looked into Jamie’s eyes as if he were assessing whether he was fit material to be dating his daughter. “You can call me Charlie. And Hope tells me you’re a Yankees fan. If that’s your only flaw, I’ll allow you to date my daughter,” my dad said seriously, then smiled.

  I sighed in relief. Jamie was a keeper in my dad’s book.

  My mother and Patty came down the steps, smiling. “Hi, Jamie, honey. It’s nice to see you again,” my mother said.

  “Hi! I’m Patty, Hope’s sister-in-law,” she said before I even had a chance to introduce her. “Look how cute you two look together,” she said, stretching her words out like she was singing a song. “Let me go get my camera from my purse. I gotta show your brother what a cute couple you guys make!” She said as she ran off.

  “Please, just ignore her. She tends to get overly excited about things,” I said.

  My father and Jamie began to talk about everything under the sun…baseball, football, and Jamie’s job…before Patty finally came back with her camera.

  “Okay, put your arm around her!” Patty shouted as she cracked her gum.

  Oh, my god, seriously, this isn’t the prom, Patty! I rolled my eyes, waiting for her to take the picture.

  “Wait, one more!” She snapped one last picture before I took Jamie’s hand and started leading him out the door.

  We said our goodbyes and got into Jamie’s car. “I’m sorry about that. They could be a little overbearing at times.”

  Jamie laughed. “That’s okay.” He leaned over and grazed my lips. “They just think you’re beautiful and so do I.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  After the long ride, we finally made it to the restaurant. Jamie never left my side the entire night and I didn’t feel uncomfortable when being introduced to his co-workers. It was well after midnight when the party was over. I wasn’t sure if Jamie had planned on driving me home or not. We hadn’t discussed this part of the evening. I had told my mother that I may not be home, just in case. I ignored her when she raised her eyebrows and reminded her that I was no longer a child.

  “Did you want me to drive you home, or did you want to come back to my apartment.”

  My stomach dropped. “Umm….we can go back to your place,” I said, rather meekly.

  “Are you sure? Because I don’t mind driving you home,” he said.

  “No, really, that’s fine. Unless you don’t want me to come over.”

  His smile made me want to rip his clothes off him right there. “Of course I want you to come over.”

  “Okay, good.”

  We entered his apartment, he turned on the lights, and I looked around. It was a typical guy’s place…nothing on the plain white walls, and just the bare essentials, with the exception of the huge television in the living room. He threw his keys on the counter and I could feel myself starting to get nervous.

  “Have a seat,” he said, pointing to the large leather couch. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m good.”

  He grabbed a bottle of water for himself, took off his tie and sat down next to me, turning on the TV to drown out the silence. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”

  “Thank you for asking me. It was fun.”

  He moved closer and kissed me softly on the lips, moving my hair away from my face and gently caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. He rested his forehead on mine and stared into my eyes. “I’m not going to lie to you. I want you so bad right now, but if it’s not want you want or if you’re not ready for this, tell me now because if I kiss you again, I won’t be able to stop.”

  “I wouldn’t be here right now if I wanted you to stop,” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him once again.

  He smiled, taking my hand and leading me into his bedroom. The streetlight outside his window dimly lit the room. He kissed me again, starting off soft and gentle and gradually building in intensity. My hands began to wander and my want for him deepened. He lifted my dress over my head and I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. I unbuttoned his shirt and removed it at the same time that he removed my bra. His bare chest was pressed up against mine and I could feel our hearts beating in unison. He pushed my hair from my neck and began to trail tiny little kisses from my earlobe to my shoulder, making my whole body yearn for him. He led me over to his bed and gently laid me down as his hands moved downwards, removing my underwear. My breathing became heavier when he began to tease my breast with his tongue and he placed his fingers inside of me. I could feel my insides becoming moist, longing for him more and more with each passing minute as he moved his fingers in and out of me. His tongue trailed down my body, stopping at my hip, where he began planting tiny kisses. My body jolted with excitement as he moved to my inner thigh, coming so close to the spot that needed him so badly. I gasped once he finally reached the target. I was overcome with excitement as his lips and tongue began to work pure magic on my body. My mind was on overdrive as I tried to comprehend this new found pleasure that I had never experienced before.

  I couldn’t hold back anymore. My entire body began to quiver as I called out his name. He looked up at me and smiled. I stared at him and whispered, “I want to know what it feels like to have you inside of me.” I felt myself blushing over my words. I was usually never this forward, but I felt such an intense need for him that I couldn’t stop myself.

  He removed his pants and boxers, and reached into his nightstand drawer for a condom. I couldn’t help but focus my eyes on him standing naked in front of me. He really was perfect in every single way. He placed the condom on and slowly eas
ed himself into me. My body instantly awakened to the feel of him. I felt him breathing heavier as he began his steady pace. The two other guys that I had been with paled in comparison to Jamie, and I was finally understanding why people thought sex was so wonderful.

  I ran my hands up and down his back as his moans grew louder. “You are so perfect, you know that?” he whispered in my ear. “You feel so fuckin’ good. I want to stay inside of you forever.” My stomach felt like it had jumbo jets flying around inside. The sound of his voice, the look of pleasure on his face, and just sharing something so special with him made it all too much for me to take. My body tightened up around him and I tried to catch my breath. I pulled him closer, lightly grazing his shoulder with my teeth. I closed my eyes and screamed out his name at the same time that he screamed mine. He lay on top of me while we both tried to catch our breath. I hugged him tightly. I felt tears begin to form, but it wasn’t because I was sad or hurt. It was because I had never experienced anything as wonderful as I just did with him.

  “Good morning, Penny!” I tried to disguise my worry with a smile. I hadn't seen Penny in the bakery since Mother's Day and I was hoping that didn't mean bad news.

  She looked distracted, then finally managed a smile. “Oh, hi, Hope.”

  I was unsure if I should ask the question or not. I bit my lip and managed to get the words out. “How's Marty?” I waited in angst for her response, trying to read her facial expression.

  Her smile became wider and I knew I was in the clear. “Oh, he's doing much better. He came home three days ago and is back to his ornery old self.”

  “Oh, Penny, that is wonderful news!”

  “Yes, well, he's not too happy. He's on a special diet and we have to postpone our cruise.”

  I placed my hand on her arm. “Well, he's home and he's okay. That's all that matters.”

  She patted my hand with hers. “It sure is, honey.”