by Beth Rinyu
“Well, is a jelly donut part of his special diet?” I asked.
“I think I will allow it for him as a special treat,” she smiled.
I reached into the case and grabbed the biggest jelly donut on the tray and placed it in the bag. “Tell him that Hope put extra hugs and kisses in that one for him,” I teased.
“Oh boy! Do you want to send him back into the hospital with another heart attack?” She asked as we both began to laugh.
I was cleaning out the coffee pots and getting ready to call it a day when I heard my phone beeping with a text message. I grabbed it from my purse.
Nick: Plans tonight?
Me: Not that I know of. What did you have in mind?
Nick: It's a surprise. Meet me at Bay beach at 6:00.
Me: K. See ya’ later.
I put my phone in my pocket and jumped when my mother came up behind me. “What are you smiling about?” she asked with a smile herself.
“Oh, nothing,” I said, playing if off. We finished up the day and I went back my mom’s to finish up the scrapbook. Nick's father was having a “goodbye barbeque” for him tomorrow and I wanted it ready by then. My heart hurt just thinking about him leaving. It was the same feeling that I had gotten twenty years ago when he told me that he was moving away. I pasted the very last picture on the page and giggled, hoping that Nick thought it was as funny as I did. I was so wrapped up in my project that I was surprised to see it was already 5:50.
I threw on my flip flops and grabbed my camera, hoping to get some pictures of the sunset. I took the short walk to the beach and looked around at the few people still taking in the last remnants of the beautiful day, finally spotting Nick sitting on a blanket close to the water. The sun was still shining, but in a few hours, it would be putting on a show, lighting up the sky in beautiful shades of pink and peach before slowly making its descent into the water. As I got closer to the blanket, I couldn’t contain my smile. Nick had an entire dinner set up just like when we were younger. It included a bucket of fried chicken from Mable's, our favorite restaurant growing up, a bottle of wine, and a dozen yellow roses. The happy memories of all of the times that Nick and I would put our allowance money together and buy a bucket of chicken and a bottle of orange soda came racing to my mind. We would ride our bikes up to this same spot, spread a blanket, and have the perfect dinner. I was ecstatic knowing that tonight, we would be reliving that perfect memory.
“Nick, this is awesome!” I said, looking down at the blanket
He picked up the roses and stood up with a jumbo-sized grin on his face. He looked absolutely adorable, just like the little boy I knew from so long ago. He was dressed casually in shorts and a form-fitting USMC t-shirt that showed off his more than perfect chest and arms.
“Happy early birthday, Hope.”
I took the roses from his hand and hugged him. “Thank you so much, Nick. This is just…” I couldn’t even find the right words to describe how much this meant to me.
“Well, since I’m leaving on your birthday and won’t be around, I had to do something.” We both sat on the blanket. “I decided to change it up a bit, though.” He turned around and poured me a glass of wine. “Instead of orange soda, I thought we'd be a little more elegant and have some wine with a twist off lid out of paper cups.” He handed me the paper cup and we both began to laugh.
I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face the whole time that we were eating. I listened to him as he told me all about the Marines, and I found that a topic I would normally find boring wasn’t so boring when he talked about it. He was leaving in two days to head back to his base in North Carolina, where he would be doing extensive training for a month before being sent to an unknown place.
“Do you ever get scared?” I asked
“Nah. You can't be scared. And, sometimes, you actually wish for the worst because at least it will take you out of the hell on earth that you’re in.”
I hated hearing him talk like that. I hated knowing that he felt that way and wished that there was something I could do to make him see things differently. “Nick, please don’t talk like that. I don’t like to hear you say those things. Your life is very important.”
He raised his eyebrows and exhaled loudly, staring silently at the water. “Well, I only got four more years of this, then I’m done.”
“Wow, four more years until you can retire?” He nodded. “That’s awesome! I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up,” I joked.
“What do you think that you want to do?”
I picked up a handful of sand and sifted it through my fingers. “I’m seriously thinking about taking some photography courses. That’s what I really enjoy doing.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I have to do something. I can’t keep depending on Jamie to support me and, by the looks of it, I don’t think that’s going to be an option very soon anyway.”
He looked at me sadly. “You still haven’t talked to him?”
I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears that thinking about Jamie brought to my eyes. “I just wish I could stop loving him. It just sucks.”
He placed his hand on top of mine and the burn in my eyes subsided. “Hey, look,” he said, pointing out to the water. “Dolphins.” I grabbed my camera from my bag and we stood up, walking closer to the water. I began to snap pictures of the pod swimming by. I had seen dolphins swimming in the bay more times than I could remember, but tonight, being here with Nick, it seemed like it was the very first time.
I started to giggle as I snapped random shots of Nick. “Smile,” I teased as I snapped one picture after another.
“Really, Hope?” he laughed. “Let’s get some pictures of you.”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
He looked at me and nodded. “Yup!” He lunged toward me, trying to take the camera from me. I laughed as I ran away. He caught up to me, wrapping his muscular arms around me and lifting me up. “Give me that camera.”
“Never!” I tried my best to wiggle out of his arms, making him lose his balance as we both landed in the water. I held my camera up high. Thankfully, that was the one thing that didn’t get wet. Nick took it from my hand and we both began to laugh.
He snapped a picture of me and smiled. “Now, was that so bad?” he asked.
“Oh, you are so lucky that you have that camera in your hand at this particular moment because you would be drenched right now.”
I watched as he quickly got up and walked the two feet to the blanket, placing the camera on it. I was just about to drag my uncomfortable wet body from the water when he walked back. “Bring it on,” he teased.
I bit my lip and smiled. I moved my hand back and swept it across the water, splashing him as hard as I could. “Oh, Hope, you are such a girl,” he teased. I got up and tried to run away, but I wasn’t quick enough. He grabbed me and pulled me down into the water. I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. He began to splash me, getting me soaking wet. I was defenseless, paralyzed by laughter. He finally let up when he was no longer able to control his own laughter. We sat in the water, ignoring all of the people coming onto the beach to watch the sunset. At that moment, it was as if no one else or none of our problems existed. Tonight, it was just Nick and I on that beach.
I had just finished wrapping Nick's present when I heard my mother calling from downstairs to see if I was ready to go. “Coming!” I shouted.
I grabbed the box and headed downstairs. We walked out the door and took the short drive to Nick's. The driveway was overflowing with cars. I found a spot on the street, deciding to leave Nick’s present in the car for now. I wanted to give it to him in private.
We walked into the back yard where the party was already in full swing. A smile stretched across Nick's dad’s face when he saw my mother, causing me to smile at just how fond the two of them had grown for one another. “There you girls are,” he said, giving my mother a gentle peck on the cheek.
“What’s going on, girl?” Patty asked as I leaned in and gave her kiss.
“Not much.” I grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler and took a sip. I sat and listened to Patty complaining about her job, my brother, and my niece, nodding every now and then and giving her an occasional laugh, but my mind was a million miles away. I looked around the back yard, remembering all of the great childhood memories that this place held. After today, my security blanket would be gone. I was going to have to face the world on my own again and it scared me half to death.
Nick and my brother finally came over and took a seat next to us. Patty began to tell us one of her stories, and we were all hysterical over the extra animation that she always added.
“Damn, I haven't laughed that hard since I heard who Hope's prom date was,” Nick said.
“Oh, buck-tooth Billy?” my brother teased, sticking out his two front teeth in his best attempt to imitate Billy Wilson. Bobby and Nick both began to laugh while I did my best to hold mine in.
“That's not nice!” my mother shouted, coming over at the end of the conversation.
“He wasn't nice,” Nick said. “He was always so mean to Hope. Who would have thought that, one day, she'd smooch him?” Nick teased.
I shook my head and giggled. “You will never let me live that down, will you?”
“Nope. It will haunt you for the rest of your life, Hopie.” He wrapped his arm around my neck and pretended to get me in a head lock.
“Hope, what would you like to eat? Hamburger, hot dog, chicken?” Nick’s dad asked.
“Oh, I’ll have a hot dog.”
“A hot dog with ketchup, right?”
“You remembered!”
“Of course! Let me run in the house and get a new bottle of ketchup. We just ran out.”
“Oh, I’ll get it,” I volunteered.
“Okay. It’s in the fridge.”
I stood up and walked into the house. I had my head buried in the refrigerator, trying to locate the ketchup and was startled when I turned around to find Nick standing right behind me. “Oh, my god. You scared me!” I said, covering my heart with my hand.
He laughed as he stood with his hands in his pockets, gazing at me. His grin was quickly replaced with a more solemn look. “I haven't had a chance to really talk to you alone all day,” he said.
“No biggie. I know you’re the celebrity today. Just as long as I get a few minutes with you before I leave, that's all that matters. I have a little surprise for you.”
He raised his eyebrow at me and smiled. “Get your mind out of the gutter!” I teased.
“Well, I just wanted to tell you thank you for being such a good friend to me these past few months. I really don't know what -.”
I put my hand up to stop him. “Shhh -- you are making this sound too much like a permanent goodbye. We will not lose touch this time. I don't care if I have to drag your little ass out of some war ridden place to make sure that we don't. I will not lose my best friend again, no matter what,” I said.
“That sounds like a deal.” He was trying his best to manage a smile before hugging me tightly. “I'm gonna miss you, Hopie,” he whispered in my ear.
I closed my eyes, wanting to always remember what it felt like to be in the safety of his arms. He kissed me on the top of my head and squeezed me tighter.
“Nick?”
I wiped the tear from my eye and lifted my head from his chest to see where that voice was coming from. My eyes widened as I stared at the girl standing in the kitchen doorway, feeling like I was looking in the mirror. She was my height, had long dark hair, but instead of brown eyes, hers were a beautiful shade of green.
Nick quickly removed himself from our embrace and stared at her as if he had seen a ghost. He was speechless for a moment and I was feeling very awkward as the girl checked me out from head to toe. “Angie, what are you doing here?” he finally asked.
“I wanted to see you before you left so I decided to drive down. I'm sorry. I didn't know your dad was having a party for you.” She turned her attention back to me. I stood there, waiting for Nick to introduce us, but he just stood there. I had to do something to break up the awkwardness of the moment.
“Hi, Angie. I'm Hope, a very old friend of Nick's.” I extended my hand, feeling awful about what she just walked in on and how it must have appeared to her.
“Hello,” she responded, sounding a little apprehensive. She did her best to manage a smile while she gently shook my hand.
You could cut the air with a knife. I knew that I had to get out of there to allow her and Nick some time alone. “I'm going to take this ketchup out. It was really nice meeting you.” I looked up at Nick, who was still staring off into space, and made my way out of the kitchen.
“Is she the reason that you called off our wedding?” I heard her say just as I was walking out the back door. Shit, poor Nick. I wanted to go back in there and help him out. Tell her that there was absolutely nothing going on between Nick and me, but I listened to the logical voice in my head that was telling me to mind my own business.
I sat back down at the table with my brother and sister-in-law and totally zoned out.
“Hello, earth to Hope,” Nick’s dad said as he waved the plate containing my hot dog under my nose.
“Oh, thanks,” I said, forcing a smile. I finished eating just as Nick and Angie walked out of the house. I quickly looked away, focusing my attention on my brother.
“Oh, if looks could kill, you'd be a dead woman,” Patty whispered. “Who is that girl?”
“She’s Nick’s fiancé.” I finally looked out of the corner of my eye to find them both standing at the back of the yard, talking to Nick’s dad.
“Hmm…she doesn’t seem to care for you too much,” Patty teased.
I waved my hand in the air. “Well, she has nothing to worry about where Nick and I are concerned.” I was suddenly beginning to feel very uncomfortable. I had to think of an excuse quickly so I could make my exit. As much as I wanted to spend time with Nick on his last day, I knew it was more important for him to have this time with Angie.
“Where are you going?” I asked in a panic as I watched Patty getting up and grabbing her keys.
“Alexa just texted me and asked if I could drop her off at her friend’s house. I’ll be right back.”
“Oh, I’ll take her!” I said, hoping that I didn’t sound too eager. This was the perfect excuse. I would drop off my niece, then come down with some mysterious stomach ailment that required me to go back home for the rest of the night.
“You sure?” she tilted her head and questioned.
“Positive!” I took on last sip of my water and got up. I quickly looked over at Nick, standing off in the distance with his back toward me. I wanted so much to be able to say goodbye. Angie wrapped her arm around him and leaned into him, and I knew that was my sign to just go. Hopefully, he would call me later or I would just send him a goodbye text. Besides, we had basically said our goodbye’s right before Angie had gotten there. Maybe it was for the best anyway. I knew that I would just get emotional with an actual goodbye and I surely didn’t want to do that in front of her. I didn’t want to give her any reason to doubt Nick or the relationship that he and I had.
I grabbed my keys and made my escape, going unnoticed. I got into my car, feeling a heaviness in my chest when I looked at passenger’s seat and the gift that was never given or the goodbye that was never said.
I called my niece to let her know that I was in the driveway waiting for her. Her smile was a mile wide when she walked out the door. “Aunt Hopie, why are you dropping me off?” she asked as she got into the car and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“I figured I’d give your mom a break.”
“Oh, did she tell you that I was going to a boy’s house?”
I raised my eyebrow at her. “Umm…no.”
She began to giggle. “His name is Austin Tyler and he is so cute! Like, seriously, the cutest boy in our grade.”
“Oh, really? Is he nice to you?”
She nodded. “He’s super nice. I know you would think he was cute, too. He’s got blonde hair and blue eyes just like Uncle Jamie.” I tried really hard to keep my smile, but just hearing his name made my heart hurt. My niece put her hand on my arm. “Aunt Hopie, are you guys getting a divorce?”
“I really don’t know what’s going on, sweetie.” I wanted to be as honest as possible with her. I knew that Alexa adored Jamie. She was only three-years-old when the two of us started dating so she had known him ever since she could remember.
“I hope not.” The sadness in her voice crushed me.
I took her hand in mine and kissed it. “I hope not either, honey. So tell me a little more about this boy,” I said as we backed out of the driveway. I was happy to see the smile reappear on her face as she began to tell me all about her latest crush while she told me where to go.
“Do you remember your first kiss, Aunt Hope?”
“I sure do!” I smiled over at her.
“Was he cute?”
I nodded.
“Were you scared?”
“Nope, not at all.”
“Really? You weren’t afraid that you were going to do something wrong?”
“Alexa, my first kiss was with my best friend.”
She crinkled up her nose. “With a girl?”
I shook my head and giggled. “No, my best friend was a boy.”
“Wow! That’s so cool! Are you guys still friends?” she asked.
“As a matter of fact, we are.” She smiled at me. “Why? Is there going to be kissing going on tonight?”
She began to giggle. “Maybe, but don’t tell my mom or dad.”
“Well, as long as that’s all that’s going on, my lips are sealed. Don’t rush into anything, Alexa and, whatever you do, don’t let any boy pressure you into doing something that you don’t want.”
