by Cindy Wilder
Me: I sure do.
Ride or Die: You know what I mean. Why did you say that stuff to my dad? Why did you stick up for me when you can't stand me?
Me: It wasn't for you. Every parent should love their child. I'm so sick of seeing parents treat their kids mean when they brought them into the world. Don't flatter yourself. Goodnight.
Ride or Die: Bullshit.
A few minutes later he messaged me again.
Ride or Die: Talk to me, Lauren.
Me: We graduate in a few days. I'll be out of here the day after. Goodnight, Ethan.
Ride or Die: I'm worried about you. You looked so bad at dinner. I could see the red in your eyes and how puffy your cheeks were. Why do you have to make this so hard? Why can't you just listen to me?
I turned off my computer without responding. My sobbing hadn't gotten any better. I turned off my lights and made sure my door was locked. A few minutes later, I heard my door shake and the knob move. My phone buzzed. I picked it up and looked at it. Yes, I know it was stupid. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't. He was everything I wanted. Ethan was both of the men I fell in love with. He knew how to push my buttons and piss me off, but he also knew how to be a caring, sweet man. Sex with him was explosive. I could fuck him every single day and never tire of him.
Ethan: I can't believe you. You're driving me crazy.
A few minutes later, I heard the front door slam and his bike speed down the driveway. I must have fallen asleep. When I looked at the clock, three hours had passed and it was the middle of the night. I unlocked my door and quietly looked in his room. He wasn't there. I ran downstairs and into the garage. His bike was still gone. When I text him, he didn't answer. He had me so worried. I grabbed my keys, got into my car, and took off to find him. I was hoping to find my way to his spot, the one he took me to. As I drove, I realized that I was still wearing my tiny shorts and t-shirt that I wore to bed. I found his spot. It was so dark out. When I didn't see his bike, I got out of my car and started walking toward the water. Maybe he had ridden back there. Every tiny noise made me jump. Just as I reached the tree we had fucked under, my phone buzzed.
Ethan: Where the fuck are you? It's the middle of the night and your car is gone.
Shit! He was home. I turned around to walk back to my car and tripped. My hand went out in front of me just as my face hit a low branch. It stung so damn bad. I caught myself before I hit ground, but there was something on my face. I knew I was bleeding. That was going to be good for pictures, I thought. I sat on the ground and couldn't help but laugh at how fucked up everything was. That was when I decided to answer him. He had me scared that something had happened to him. The ass needed to think a little too.
Me: Out fucking and getting drunk. Where did you think I was?
Ethan: You better be lying.
Me: What are you going to do about it? You were gone for hours. I didn't ask who you were out fucking did I?
Ethan: I wasn't fucking anyone. Maybe I should have been. Where the fuck are you?
I stood up and brushed myself off before going to my car and heading back to the house. My phone buzzed four times on the way home. I stopped to check the messages just before I pulled into the driveway.
Ethan: Answer me, Lauren.
Ethan: What the fuck!
Ethan: I'm going to spank your ass so fucking hard when I get my hands on you.
Ethan: Fucking answer me. You're starting to really freak me out.
I turned off my lights before pulling in. I quietly opened the front door and tiptoed up the stairs. It was dark, and I was hoping he was asleep. Just as I rounded the corner into my room, I saw him sitting on the end of my bed and jumped.
"What the hell," I yelled. "You scared the shit out of me."
He stood up and walked toward my light switch.
"Don't," I snapped.
He moved even faster to turn it on. Just as the light lit the room, he gasped.
"What the hell were you doing?" he asked, as he came toward me.
I put up my hand in front of me.
"Stop," I snapped. "Do not touch me."
"You're fucking bleeding and have a gash across your cheek. Where were you?"
He had a deep tone in his voice. I could tell it was anger mixed with worry.
"You were gone for hours. I messaged you, and you didn't answer. I was worried and went looking for you. I can't stand you, but that doesn't mean I want you hurt."
I turned and walked over to my bed.
"The ass on your shorts is covered in dirt. Your face is all red. Why were you crying? Did someone hurt you? I swear I'll fucking kill them. Tell me now, Lauren."
I turned to look him in the eyes. It took all I had not to run into his arms. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to hold me. He made me feel safe when he was with me. I knew I couldn't do it. He didn't care about me. I was a big joke to him. He must have been so proud to lead me on for who knew how long.
"Get out of my room, Ethan," I said. "Nobody hurt me. I ran into a damn tree branch in the dark when I tripped and fell. I shouldn't have gone looking for you. You're a big boy. I don't give a shit what you do."
He walked out of the room and stormed down the hallway. I closed my door behind him and pulled my t-shirt over my head. When I pulled my shorts off, my door swung open and I heard a gasp. I quickly grabbed a new pair and pulled them over my feet and up my legs.
"My door was closed," I said. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"
When I turned around, his eyes were dark and looking straight at mine. I grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it on.
"I wanted to clean your cut. You can't let it get infected. It looks pretty bad," he said softly.
"I can clean it myself. It's not that bad," I said in a harsh tone.
I heard a growl rumble from deep in his chest.
"Enough," he snapped, and I froze. "Sit your ass down and let me clean your cut."
The demanding tone mixed with the stern look on his face had me sitting instantly. I couldn't believe the way my body reacted to him. He stood in front of me. His clothed cock was right in my face. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at him. He used a warm, wet cloth to clean the dirt. When he went to dry it, I winced. He lifted my chin so I was looking up at him. I couldn't believe how soft and caring he was being as he put some kind of cream on my cut. He put gauze over it and taped on the gauze. I hadn't realized how big the cut was. When he was done, he put the stuff on my dresser and walked back to my bed. I watched him slowly pull back my covers.
"In bed," he said.
I moved backward up the bed and got under the sheet. He pulled up the covers and tucked them in around me. I watched him walk back to the door and shut off the light. He looked so damn sexy. I waited for him to shut the door. He grabbed the knob and stopped.
"Thanks for saying that stuff to my dad, even if it wasn't for me. Thanks for looking for me. Please don't scare me like that again," he said.
"You were the one that took off," I said.
"I know," he said.
He pulled the door shut and stopped just before he closed it.
"Don't you ever go out in those tiny shorts and that little shirt again."
He closed the door and was gone before I could say another word. Who the hell did he think he was? I fell asleep quickly and felt so much better knowing he was home.
My alarm blared through the room. It seemed like I had just closed my eyes. I jumped out of bed, got ready, and took off out the door. When I looked in my car mirror, I couldn't help but put my fingers on my face and think about how caring Ethan was when he cleaned and covered the spot. The gauze was still there, and the tape was perfectly in place. When I walked into my class for my first exam, I was so nervous. I hadn't studied at all the night before. Even though I wasn't going straight to college, I still wanted my grades to be amazing. Ethan slid into the chair in front of me. He turned around and winced when he looked at my face. I stuck my tongue out and looked down.
&nb
sp; "Good luck," he whispered.
"Shut up," I said. "I didn't get to study. I was too busy looking for an asshole all night."
The teacher set the test on my desk.
"You okay?" he asked quietly.
"Yes," I said. "I tripped and smacked my face on a tree branch yesterday."
Ethan turned around to say something.
"Turn around, Ethan," the teacher warned.
I laughed when the teacher walked away. Ethan threw a piece of paper at me over his head. My test went pretty well. I knew I passed it. I just wasn't sure by how much.
"How did you do?" I asked Ethan as soon as class was over.
"I got an A of course," he said with a smirk.
"Ugh," I growled, as I walked away and hurried down the hall.
A few people asked me about my face through the day. They were all looking for a more interesting story than the truth. Maybe I should have told them I was in a fight. That would have been more fun.
The next couple of days went by quickly. I went to school, took exams, worked, packed boxes, ate when I remembered to, and slept a bit. I hadn't even turned my computer on. Ethan came in from work when I was already in bed. Each night, I heard him turn my knob only to find the door locked. There was no way I was letting him in. It was way too easy to get wrapped up in his good looks and the safety of his arms.
By Friday night I was exhausted. Greg made dinner and yelled up the stairs. I hadn't eaten all day. My things were all packed, and I was ready to go. I just had to figure where exactly I was going. My shorts and t-shirt were already on for bed, and I was too tired to change. I ran downstairs, made a plate of food, and sat down at the kitchen table with my feet up on my chair. Ethan walked in the front door just as I was taking my first bite of food. He had dirt on his shirt and a little on his cheek. I watched him drop all his things on the bottom step of the stairs before coming into the kitchen. He looked so damn sexy in worn jeans and boots. I looked down at my plate to avoid him catching me ogling his body.
Greg walked into the kitchen seconds before Ethan.
"Want something to drink?" Greg asked.
"A soda would be great," I answered.
Greg grabbed one from the fridge and set it down in front of me. I looked up to thank him, and his eyes widened.
"What the hell happened to your face?" he yelled.
I had taken my bandage off earlier in the day. It needed air, and I wanted it to heal up. Ethan let out a loud breath from his side of the kitchen where he was making his plate.
"I tripped and scraped it on a branch. It's nothing really. I'm perfectly fine."
"Were you in the woods?" he asked. "That's a pretty big scrape."
"Yes," I said. "I was in the woods looking for something."
He walked over and tilted my chin up so he could see it. I heard a grumble from deep inside of Ethan.
"It doesn't look infected," Greg said. "Did you put something on it?"
I heard another grumble come from Ethan.
"Ethan saw it as soon as I walked in that night. He cleaned it and covered it for me. I hadn't realized it was that bad. It's fine now."
Ethan put his plate down at the spot next to mine.
"You think you could change out of that dirty shirt?" Greg snapped, as he looked over at Ethan.
Just as I was taking a drink, Ethan pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it toward the hallway. I couldn't help but see a new tattoo on his chest and swallowed my soda wrong. It sent me into a coughing, choking fit. Ethan reached over and pat me on the back.
"You okay?" he asked. "You'd think after all these years you would have figured out the drinking thing by now."
I looked over at him and burst into laughter when I saw the cocky smirk on his face. He stood up and walked away before I could get a good look at his tattoo. When he came back into the room, he had a new t-shirt on. He sat back in his chair and looked down at my leg. I heard his breath catch and noticed my shorts had moved to the side and there was a straight shot into my panties. I looked up at him with a smile and heard him growl as he stared deep into my eyes.
"You okay?" I asked. "From what I've heard, you've seen a million."
"Don't finish that sentence," he snapped.
I put my leg down, looked down at my plate, and ate in silence. There was so much heat filling the space between us.
"Are you excited about graduation, Lauren?" Greg asked breaking the silence.
"Not really," I said. "I don't want to go, but I can't miss seeing someone else walk across the stage."
"Your mom would be mad if you missed it," he said.
"She's not going," I said. "I'm sure she wouldn't care if I did."
"What?" Ethan asked.
"She text me and said that she had to work."
"That's bullshit," he snapped.
"Two more days and we'll be free from high school. I'm looking forward to it," I said trying to change the subject. "I'm going to bed. This week has been rough. Between work and studying, I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll see you tomorrow."
I stood up, put my dishes in the sink, grabbed my soda, and walked out of the room. Just as my foot hit the first step, I heard Greg.
"Lauren," he said loudly.
I stopped but didn't turn around. My bed was calling my name.
"Yes."
"You can stay. You don't have to leave. I saw the boxes you had packed when I went to put towels in the bathroom upstairs. Don't feel like you need to hurry."
"Thanks," I yelled back.
"What boxes?" Ethan asked.
"It looked like all of her stuff was already packed and ready," Greg answered. "I just don't want her to feel like she's not welcome here."
"That's only me," Ethan snapped.
I heard him get up from his chair, and I ran up the stairs when I heard his dish slam into the sink. My door was shut, and I locked it just as I heard him barrel up the stairs. He knocked on my door but I didn't answer. When he knocked louder, I swung the door open.
"What?" I snapped.
He walked passed me and looked around my room. I had almost everything boxed up. The room was bare. My computer was the only thing that needed to be put away. The clothes I was wearing for graduation were hung over a chair. Ethan turned back around and I almost lost it. He looked so upset. I knew I was imagining it.
"What is all this?" he asked, as he moved his arms around.
"I'm leaving tomorrow after graduation," I said, as I looked down at my feet.
"No," he said shaking his head.
I nodded my head and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.
"It's better that way. I need time to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. College might be the way to go. I need to make sure I can take care of myself. I'm the only one I ever want to count on."
"Were you just going to leave without saying anything?" he asked.
"You don't have to pretend like you care, Ethan. It's not like I still think there was something between us. You had your fun. It's over now. Cut the shit. It's the night before graduation. I'm sure you have much better places to be than standing here talking to me. You played me. I'm sure you had a blast. Now run along and tell your friends what an idiot I am."
I walked to my door and motioned for him to leave the room. He walked up to me and ran his finger across my cut. Heat shot through my body, and I pulled away from his touch.
"Where did you go looking for me?" he asked. "You said you were in the woods."
"I went to your spot, but you weren't there. Was that even real? I never thought about the fact that you might have made all of that up that day," I said.
"I didn't play you. I wish you would let me explain. I never lied to you. That is where I go to think and get away," he said.
"I need to get some sleep," I said.
"You are going to graduation aren't you?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. "I want to see you graduate. Goodnight, Ethan."
He walked out of my room
. I closed my door, packed up my computer, and went to bed. How I was going to walk away and live knowing he wasn't on the other side of the wall was beyond me.
When I woke up in the morning, the sun was shining. Most of the kids my age were getting ready for graduation and ready to start college. I felt more lost than I ever had in my entire life. The room was bare with boxes against the wall. It wasn't my home. Would I ever have a real home, I wondered? I got out of bed and walked to the door. Hopefully, Ethan was already gone or at least not in his room. There was no way I wanted to run into him. When I opened my door, I saw a bag hanging from the knob. I grabbed it and walked back into my room. There was a box inside that was wrapped in congratulations paper. I wasn't sure what it could have been. When I ripped the paper from the box, my eyes widened and I know my mouth fell open. It was a brand new camera, and it looked just like Ethan's. I had priced them online. They were very expensive. No way was I accepting that from him. I hadn't gotten him anything. Even if I could have, that was too much money. He knew I was trying to get through my time at his house. Why would he give me a gift if he didn't even care about me? It was like he purposely fucked with my mind. He wasn't getting to me. I was no fool.
With the box in one hand, I marched over to his room and swung his door open without knocking. He was still in bed under his covers. His room looked a little bare compared to when I was last in it. Maybe he had gotten rid of some stuff. My eyes traveled back to a sleeping Ethan. I stopped at the foot of his bed and watched him sleep on his stomach. It was the only time I had seen him looking so peaceful and content. I felt a tear slip from the corner of my eye as I thought about how great it would be to wake up in his arms. He rolled over and his blanket fell away from his chest. Just as my eyes landed on his new tattoo, his eyes opened.
"Good morning," he said. "Were you watching me sleep?"
I could see the cocky grin on his face and shook my head.
"No," I snapped, remembering why I was there in the first place. "I came to give this back to you."
I shoved the camera box at him and turned around.
