by Cindy Wilder
“How am I going to walk away from you?” he whispered.
When he pulled back from me, I could see sadness in his eyes. He grabbed his clothes and walked up the stairs.
We spent those next two weeks with each other as much as we could get away with. My mom kept trying to get me to go back to my dads, but I wouldn't go. We argued every single day, but I didn't care. I wanted every moment with Jay before he had to leave. There were a few nights I crawled into his bed in the middle of the night to be comforted by his arms. I'd set the alarm on my phone to make sure I was back in my own bed before she woke up.
A sound in the next apartment snapped me out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes and realized my water was freezing cold. It took all I had to get out of the tub and dry off. I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and sat down in front of my computer.
I needed to know what I was dealing with. Who was he? I knew in college he made a little money selling whatever it was to the military. What had he done since then? What had happened in those four years he had been out of my life? Why was his project so much more important than all the rest? What was the big deal? He was just like the rest of us, wasn't he?
It had been so many years since I had looked for Jay, or Jared should I say, online. Jared sounded so stuffy, but I guess it fit him. He wasn't the man I knew at all. I pulled up the search bar and typed in Jared Blackwell. What came back had my mouth hanging open. There were so many pictures of him over the years. Most of them with a different woman on his arm. What the hell, I thought? The women were beautiful. I mean absolutely stunning. There was no way I could ever compare to any of them. I wasn't ugly, but I was plain compared to the women he surrounded himself with. Jealousy began flowing through me, and I knew I had to stop it.
I clicked on an article with a picture of him alone. It had a much older picture of him with it. He was the man I remembered. The article was about him selling something to the government. My eyes widened and my hand went up to cover my mouth when I read the words multi-million dollar contract. Are you fucking kidding me, I yelled out into the empty air surrounding me. Enough to get by was what he had told me. It paid him an okay amount. That was complete bullshit. He was a millionaire in college. I couldn't believe what I was reading.
Before I knew it, four hours had passed with me clicking on one article after the next and looking at all of the pictures. He wasn't the man I knew. Did I even know him at all? I spent two weeks with him and never had a clue. I skimmed passed the articles about what he owned. The guy knew what he was doing. He had his hand in every bucket out there. I read all of the articles about his charity work as well. He did huge amounts of it. He developed programs and things to help other countries. Some were even to help deaf people. I couldn't help the tears that poured from my eyes as I read about the time and money he put into helping other people. How could I never have known any of it, I wondered?
There was no million about it anymore. He was a multi-billionaire at the age of twenty-five. No wonder he walked around like he owned the world. It was as if he thought people would do anything he asked. They probably did. I was sure of it. The man dripped confidence. How the hell was I going to put up with his huge head without putting him in his place? My job and career depended on it. There was no doubt in my mind he could end me if he wanted to.
He was so damn big, he didn't even remember me. Those two weeks meant so much to me. I could see why they didn't mean shit to him. He had it all. I was nothing. He had so much more than I would ever be worth to him.
I still couldn't figure out how he could be so good to so many people but such an ass at the same time.
I crawled in bed and closed my eyes. Then it hit me. He left me after those two weeks without a single word. He never said goodbye. It was like he never cared at all. Of course he didn't. He was already somebody. He probably snapped his fingers at college and had any woman he wanted until he was done with her. Then, he probably tossed her to the side and was on to the next one. It was so easy for him to leave because he knew he could. I thought I meant something to him, but I didn't. How could I have been so stupid, I wondered?
He left before I was even out of bed that day. When my mom told me he was gone, I went to my room. I reached under my bed to pull out my laptop, and it wasn't where I usually left it. For a second, I was afraid she had found it. I got down on the ground and looked under the bed. Something was there, but it wasn't my laptop. When I pulled it out, I gasped. There was a brand new one in place of it. It was much nicer than the old one. I was so happy he had done that for me. I felt special. He had went out of his way to do something nice. That was what I thought then, but he really hadn't. It was like pennies to him.
All those years I'd thought about him as one person when he was really someone completely different. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I cried myself to sleep.
I woke the next morning to an email from Jared Blackwell telling me he would be in my office to meet at eight o'clock in the morning. I checked the time the email was sent before throwing my phone and jumping out of bed. You don't tell someone at one o'clock in the morning, when they are asleep, that you are meeting them at eight o'clock. Especially if the person doesn't normally start until nine o'clock. I looked in the mirror at my red, puffy, tired eyes and shook my head. It was already seven thirty. I had a half hour to get ready. I let out a loud growl and took off for my closet, as I searched for something to wear. There was no reason to try to impress him. Would he be pissed if I wore jeans, I wondered? We would find out. I grabbed my nicest pair of jeans and pulled them on. Then I grabbed a nice shirt before pulling on my sneakers. I pulled my hair up and added some makeup. I looked nice but relaxed. On my way out, I grabbed a piece of fruit and my laptop bag before hauling ass down the street.
When I pulled the front door to the offices open, I looked up to see him sitting in reception. He had on a black suit, white shirt, and very cool looking tie. He looked up from his phone and our eyes connected. The strangest feeling shot through my body, but I shook it off and tried my best to focus. He stood tall and confident. Why did he have to look so damn sexy, I wondered? Then he opened his mouth and the ass came out.
“I thought I told you I would be here at eight,” he said, as he looked down at his watch.
“You did,” I said. “It's eight, and I'm here. Please email me at a reasonable time if you're going to be that early. I normally begin work at nine.”
I knew I had to do whatever it took to keep him happy, but we also needed boundaries.
“Was that not sufficient time?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “I was asleep when you sent it.”
“Really?” he asked. “Is everything okay? Your eyes are red.”
“Yes,” I said. “Follow me, Mr. Blackwell.”
“Call me Jared,” he said.
I mumbled under my breath as I pulled a door open.
“Would you like coffee?” I asked. “We will be meeting in my office for now.”
“No,” he said.
I opened my office door and motioned for him to go ahead of me. He sat across from my desk.
“I'll be back in a moment. I need some coffee,” I said. “Are you sure you don't want anything?”
“No,” he said. “Thank you.”
I hurried to get myself a cup of coffee and grabbed a doughnut on my way back.
“Would you like one of these?” I asked, as I put my stuff on my desk.
“No,” he said. “No pictures of your family on your desk?”
“No,” I said sternly.
Did he seriously not know who I was? How many Tabithas did he know? I looked a little older but not that much.
“Why not?” he asked.
“I don't have contact with my family,” I said. “It's been years.”
I saw a look of confusion mixed with sadness cross his face for a split second before it was gone again. What was that about, I wondered?
“Please, fill me on what exactly y
ou want us to do for you,” I said, as I took a bite of my food.
He went on and on explaining what he wanted us to do and what he expected. I had more notes than I needed, but I didn't want to give him the opportunity to say I hadn't done my job. Before I knew it, three hours had passed. That man could talk. The dry, stiff man from the day before and earlier that morning was gone. He was animated when he spoke about the work. I could tell he was passionate. When he felt we had enough information, he stood to prepare to leave.
I closed my office door behind him and fell into my chair exhausted. It devastated me to have to sit there for hours and listen to him ramble on about the project without being able to say something. I wanted to yell at him for not remembering me. I wanted to cry about him leaving without saying goodbye. I wanted to hug him just to feel him against me. My mind was a jumbled mess.
Our team met to discuss what he wanted. Mr. Daniels was pleased with the notes I had taken from my time with Jared. I looked at everything that was in front of me and felt proud of myself. Despite my feelings on being around him, I had done an amazing job. We talked about the way we wanted to dive into the project and got started right away. Most of our time was going to be spent in the conference room working together.
My twenty-third birthday was coming up that Sunday. We spent the entire week working until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore. Our meals were all spent together. Jared emailed back and forth with me all week. He came into the office a few times to check on our progress. I was surprised at how dedicated and hands-on he was. He really was passionate about his work. It was very important to him. I definitely understood how he had achieved the greatness he had in such a short time. He was a great business man. His personality sucked, but that was a biased opinion. I did have to admit, he gave praise and complements when he should have. He wasn't a complete jerk. I was surprised when he started sending me text messages instead of emails. It was a good thing my phone was paid for by the company. He was going to run their bill up.
We had a few moments where I thought I was going to explode, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In one of the meetings he attended with the team, I had come up with a great idea. He seemed shocked. I couldn't help the smile and proud feeling I had. Tom even reached over to pat me on the back. I watched Jared's expression, but it was no different than normal. He was a hard man to read.
Friday night came, and I needed a break. I suggested we work late into the night and then meet early Saturday. That way we could take Saturday night and Sunday off. We were all run down, and that wouldn't have been good come Monday morning. The rest of the group agreed. Mr. Daniels didn't have a problem with it either.
Nobody at work knew my birthday was Sunday. It wasn't something I wanted to announce either. I didn't like birthdays and hadn't liked them since I had turned eighteen. A few of my new friends agreed to meet for a drink on Saturday night. They all wanted to go to the club that was by my house. I hadn't been there since right after I moved in and thought checking it out again wouldn't be too bad. I would be able to walk home. That was good since I had planned on relaxing and having a few drinks. It seemed like a very exciting place.
I went out Saturday after work and bought a new outfit to wear that evening. It was a little more revealing than what I would normally wear, but I wanted to have a good time and look my best. Who knew how long it would be before I could get out again.
The entire time I was getting dressed and ready to go I thought about Jay. I had to find a way to jog his memory. He needed to know who I was. A huge part of wanting him to recognize me was selfish. I wanted him to see how wrong he was. I left my mom's house and never asked her for another thing. My college loans were being paid monthly and I did have bills, but I had done it without her. He didn't believe I could. He doubted me. It hurt so bad that day he told me I wouldn't be able to do it. I honestly thought he had more faith in me than that. Part of me wanted to rub it in his face that I had done something with my life. I might not have been as successful as he was at that age, but I was doing very well for myself. I had my own place and an office overlooking the city. My next goal was buying my Corvette. All I had to do was finish working with him without killing him or losing my job. No problem, I thought. Another part of me was hurt that the two weeks we'd spent together meant nothing to him. I wanted him to look at me and know that he didn't matter to my life. He needed to see that it meant nothing to me either. It was a total lie, but he didn't have to know that.
A knock at my door startled me. My friends were meeting at my place, so we could all arrive at the club together. I finished my makeup and slipped my feet into my heels. We were on our way.
The music was loud and the place was packed. It was insane. We made our way over to the bar to get our first drinks. TJ walked over to take our order.
“Well hello,” he said. “How can I help you ladies?”
“Hello,” I said.
We each rattled off what we wanted. I watched as he quickly made each of our drinks. He handed them to us and then narrowed his eyes at me.
“I've met you before,” he said. “What was your name again?”
“Tabitha,” I answered.
“That's right,” he said. “Not Tabby.”
“Exactly,” I said with a smile.
“Nice to see you again, Tabitha,” he said.
My eyes looked passed TJ to the other end of the bar, and I felt my chest tighten. Jay was sitting with his shoulders pulled back, in his made just for him suit, with a beautiful, tall woman on his arm. Jealousy ran through my veins as I took a deep breath. I slammed back the drink I was holding and asked TJ for another. He looked from me to Jay and back to me again.
“What's with him?” I asked.
“Mr. Blackwell?” he questioned.
“Yes,” I said.
“Do you know him?” he asked.
“I know he's an asshole,” I said. “Other than that, I'm not sure.”
“He's my boss,” TJ said. “This is his club.”
My mouth dropped open.
“What?” I asked.
TJ nodded and poured me another drink. I slammed it back and stood.
“What doesn't he have his hands in?” I mumbled, as I pushed away from the bar and headed for the dance floor. “Fucker doesn't even know who I am.”
I began dancing to the music. Some of my friends joined me. We were laughing and dancing for so long my feet were hurting. I needed a break and sat back down at the bar. TJ slid me a drink and laughed.
“Having a good time?” he asked. “You and your friends look pretty happy out there.”
“I am,” I said with a smile, as I reached over and touched his hand. “Keep these coming. I've got some things I need to forget tonight.”
I kicked my heels off and slid them under the stool I was sitting on. My friends were still going strong. I didn't know how they were doing it. Four or five drinks later, I looked down at the end of the bar. That witch was still on Jay. I shook my head and slammed back one more drink before going back out to dance.
The music was booming through my head. I could feel the floor vibrating under my feet. The mix of people chattering filled my ears. I closed my eyes and began to dance as I felt the music flow through my body. It was amazing. A few minutes later, I felt a hard body behind me. An arm came around my waist. I wanted it to be him, but I knew it wasn't. I would have known without looking. My body would have told me. It didn't matter. I needed to think of something else for a night. Just for one night. All those years he was all I could think about, and he didn't even know I existed. What a waste. I pushed my ass back against the guy behind me and began moving my hips. His other hand came around me and pulled me back against his chest. My head fell back against his shoulder. I felt his warm breath on my ear.
“Do you have any idea what I want to do with you tonight?” he asked.
I turned in his arms, grabbed his head, and claimed his mouth like I owned it. All I needed was for hi
m to make me forget. I had to move on. It was time. I couldn't take it anymore. With my arms around his neck and his around my waist, I ground against the very built man in front of me. He wasn't bad to look at. His hair was dark brown and cut nicely above his collar. His eyes were blue and sucked me in. He had stubble on his cheeks and the cutest chin dimple. He would be perfect for what I needed. He was the first man I was going to get lost in so I could move on from my thoughts of Jay. My hands traveled up and down his muscular arms and came back to feel his chiseled chest and rock hard abs through his t-shirt. Yes, I thought. He was just what I needed.
We continued dancing to each song that played. Some fast and some slow. There was grinding, holding, rubbing, hugging, and kissing involved. Once I could feel my feet numbing beneath me, I pulled him over to the bar. TJ served us a few more drinks.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Never better,” I said with a wink.
He shook his head and went on the serve all of the other people at the bar. When I looked down at the spot Jay had filled, the stool was empty. He probably took her home or went into a back room somewhere, I thought. It didn't matter, I was done with his too good to remember me ass. I was finally letting go of that shred of hope I had of us being together one day. It was over. I was giving up.
I grabbed the hand of my mystery man, and pulled him from the stool. We walked toward the door of the club.
“I live up the street,” I said.
He nodded and followed behind me.
We got to my apartment building and laughed the whole way up. I fumbled with the keys and somehow managed to open the door. I locked it, spun around, grabbed his face, and claimed his mouth again. It was like I wanted to crawl inside of him. I wanted to get away from the real world. He scooped me up in his huge arms, as I directed him toward my bedroom. When he dropped me down on the bed, I laughed out into the cool air.
