She was right. But it still didn’t ease the pain. I did have a good bit on my plate and I wasn’t giving up on that. The best thing I could do was stay busy and stay focused. But I would allow myself one night. One night of diving into alcohol and sulking over my marital failures. Then after my one night. I wouldn’t look back. I’d move forward.
CHAPTER TEN
I had a dream the night after I found out about the affair. An alcohol tainted dream. I dreamt that Jade told me it was all a joke. Ha-ha.
To my dismay, not only did I wake up with the world’s worst hangover, I woke up feeling worse about the reality of it.
I thought, I really thought Jade would try to speak to me. After all, she was the one who erred in our marriage. She cheated. She strayed. She fell in love with another man. Damn it, where and when was I the bad guy.
She ignored me as if she were pissed.
At first, I was like, fuck it. Who cares? But the more she avoided me, the angrier I grew.
Then it dawned on me, perhaps she was just ashamed. So I approached her, big mistake. I figured it had been three days.
She said, “How dare you talk to me now. You abandoned me.”
I …. I abandoned her? At that moment I realized she was as nuts as she was putting off that she was.
I went about my day.
Luella was a bright spot. She made homemade noodles and a gravy from soup base. It was delicious and a hearty lunch that filled us all throughout the day.
Marcus went topside and into the resort to do a supply count and steal another bottle of bourbon. We decided that the three of us would be in charge of getting the supplies and controlling the alcohol. Yes that was greedy, I know. But no one else seemed to care about it.
I called a camp meeting. The bunker was originally designed so that congress would and could operate in the event of a nation tragedy, so of course there was a room for congress. A theater style setting and I summoned everyone there just after lunch.
I knew it was coming. The question. Peter asked it. I answered.
“We’re at 30 rads per hour.”
“I’m not good at this radiation stuff,” Peter said. “When can we go out? When can we get air? We’ve been here like three weeks.”
I realized at that moment that people were just listening to they had to do and didn’t even know the whys of it all. Agreeing without the knowledge. So I informed everyone that Mary Agnes was going to take over after I was finished and educate everyone on radiation.
She was a feisty broad and she flipped me off with a smile.
Questions were being tossed out to me about a long term survival plan and I informed them of some of the ideas we had. I told of how we were putting together a definite plan of action ad would present it to the camp or discussion and vote.
It seemed to go over well.
I then informed them of the project. That was so well received, even I was surprised. They anxiously awaited.
A project to keep them busy and it was for them.
Ray presented the lay out for everyone to see. The specs, if you must. We would start with Dorm one. Those who lived in Dorm One would move to Dorm two during construction. Since Dorm one would then house six families. When Dorm one was done, those from dorm two would move in there until their dorm was complete.
This gave them a sense of focus and privacy was more important to them than they originally let on. I told them the project would begin in a few days after we had gotten the first round of supplies. The supplies we would start getting that day, while Dorm one residents moved out and the section walls were dismantled.
The partitions would come in handy.
I excused myself and turned the meeting over to Mary Agnes.
Ray did a radiation readout of the tunnel and it was clear. There was a door off the north tunnel that led to the basement of the resort. It was sealed closed, and we spent over two hours opening it. We had never tried it before only because we never had that much stuff to bring into the compound.
Immediately, Ray put a lock on the door, and we had easy access to the supplies and booze. The booze we’d hide in the compound, the wood, nails and so forth would be stacked in the tunnels.
The tearing down walls, removing nails, collecting supplies was exhilarating and therapeutic.
Getting my hands dirty, working, sweating, doing those things did wonders for my self esteem and mental state. I even chuckled at the jokes Ray threw out there once and a while.
Five hours later we had enough supplies to start on Dorm one or at least planning it the next day.
We laid out an agenda. Which residents would tear down the partition walls, which would carry them to the tunnels, who would carry new supplies in, and who would erect them?
Marcus had a list of men that had those qualifications and skill to build. Stan was one of them. How did I figure that?
I was grateful that upon return we didn’t have to decontaminate. Very grateful.
We had just entered into the main portion of the bunker when I heard the frantic call of my name.
“Captain!”
I looked up the hall to see Jimmy running toward me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Jimmy caught his breath. “She’s gone.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Mom,” he said panicked. “Mom is gone.”
***
I don’t need to tell you that my mind spun during that first initial conversation with Jimmy. “What ... what do you mean gone?” I asked, fearful.
“Left. Gone. Nowhere to be seen.”
I took a deep breath. He had to be mistaken. He said he checked all over, and I assured him, that Jade wouldn’t leave.
“Did she leave a note?” I asked.
“No. Not that I found.” He said.
“Did she say goodbye?”
Jimmy shook his head.
“Then she didn’t go anywhere,” I stated. “She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I am positive. She loves you boys too much.”
“Captain, she hasn’t been herself lately. She’s not in the right frame of mind.”
“I know.” I took Jimmy into my arms and embraced him. Then I panicked myself. “Where’s Brad?”
“Looking about.”
I sighed in relief.
Aiding Jimmy in getting focus, I reiterated that the bunker was two stories high and very large. In fact, we organized a group search of the compound immediately. Everybody was willing to help.
We searched up and down. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried she had taken her own life and the boys would discover her.
I kept telling them and myself. She wandered and fell asleep.
I actually started to believe that, so did they, until Marcus came and found me in the lower floor boiler room.
“Captain.” He called me name with a cracked voice.
“What’s up, Marcus.”
He saw I was with Brad and waved me to the hall.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Stop … stop the search,” he said.
“Why?”
After a deep breath, Marcus shifted his eyes.
“What?” I beckoned. “Spit it out.”
“I just reviewed the video feeds,” Marcus said. “I went back. She … she left. She left the bunker, the compound, the tunnel. She hasn’t returned.”
“Dear God.” My insides churned. “How long?”
“It’s gonna be difficult Captain,” Marcus said. “Rads are at 30. The human body starts feeling effects at a 100 …”
“When?” I questioned harder.
Another hesitation. “Four hours ago.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I knew right away.
But somehow my head would not succumb to what my gut and heart were screaming. And they screamed it right away.
Jade was not coming back.
I knew I was trying to ease the boys and convince myself more than them. I kept telling them that she w
ould come back. She would come back.
Alas, after five days. No Jade.
Immediately after Marcus revealed she had left the bunker, we gathered up a search of the resort. That was logical. Each person took a half hour shift and it took us a good part of a day to check every room in there.
It was gruesome for some and a dirty task.
Jade was not at the resort.
Where did she go? How did she get that far?
Marcus and I took the Fox and scoured the area. Nothing.
It wasn’t until she was gone almost five days when I realized Ray had been going out and looking for her on his own. He didn’t tell me this; Mary Agnes did, when she questioned why he was showing signs of radiation sickness.
She estimated that he was exposed to roughly 250 rads. Not enough to kill him, but enough to make him sick.
Ray had all the classic symptoms down to the fact his hair was falling out.
Sores, as well.
He was out of commission for a spell.
Ray was a mess.
And so were the boys.
They were devastated and rightfully so.
I didn’t know what to say, do, or offer them. All I could do was keep them busy. Brad started to get angry at his mother, showing disrespect at the mention of her name, infuriated at what she did.
Jimmy defended her and this made the boys fight.
I just wanted it all to stop. All of it.
Finally they found some focus on the project.
But it didn’t stop the looming feeling of loss and despair they carried over Jade.
What did I feel?
I was a plethora of everything I should be and didn’t want to be. There was so much I wrestled with. I didn’t have resolve. I blamed myself, despite the fact that I knew better. I thought about every detail constantly. Finally, I convinced myself through a self written poem. That clicked and flipped a switch. Writing. I focused on that and not on Jade. I couldn’t dwell on it. Life held different circumstances and all I could do was concentrate on the boys, on our camp, and move on.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Why do I have to play secretary?” Marcus asked, pulling up a chair to the side of Ray’s bed.
“Because I said so, that’s why,” I told him.
“Where do I start?”
“At the top,” I instructed. “Put the date. 29PA.”
“Holy fuck,” Marcus whispered. “It’s been a month.”
“Unfortunately,” I said.
“And I’m taking meeting minutes.”
“I want to type them up and post them so people know.”
Marcus grumbled.
“Shh,” I hushed then nodded my head to a point.
Ray entered the room with Mary Agnes at his side.
She had taken a liking to Ray. Not in a romantic way, but a buddy way, and I really think Ray enjoyed it. She was almost motherly to him.
“All clean and ready for visitors,” Mary Agnes said and pulled down his bed covers. “Hope in.”
Ray rolled his eyes. But felt it was more for our benefit. He had just, the day before, made a remarkable turn and was finally feeling better.
He scooted into bed. “Don’t know why I need to be in this bed. I said I feel fine.”
Mary Agnes shook her head. “Well, pacify me, give me one or two more days then you can run about with the Captain and his Corporal.” She tucked him in. “I allowed for this meeting.”
“You allowed.” Ray scoffed. “I’m behind. I was on the leadership team and now I’m behind.”
“Actually,” Marcus interjected. “We have been waiting on you.”
“Great. Now I’ve made you behind.”
Marcus laughed. “Behind on what? We’re in a bomb shelter.”
“I know,” Ray said. “I need to take a reading. How long has it been?”
“Few hours,” Marcus replied. “I took one.”
“You went out?” Ray asked.
“No. I used the ventilation readout.”
Ray fluttered his lips. “Horse shit. The readings aren’t consistent. You have to go out. It’s been nearly a week; I’d say we’re about 20 some. Won’t know until I go out.” He spoke his last word looking up at Mary Agnes.
“Like you need any more radiation,” Mary Agnes snapped.
I cleared my throat to break the sarcastic tension and possibly move on to business. “I think you look great. The sores are healing and the bald look works for you.”
Ray grumbled. “Yeah, well, I don’t think the bald look works everywhere. I lost my chest hair and my ball hair.”
“You lost your pubic hair?” I asked.
Ray nodded.
“I didn’t think you lost pubic hair.”
Mary Agnes added, “Hair is hair. Pubic or not. It’s gonna fall out.”
“Should this be part of the meeting minutes?” Marcus asked.
“Ha, ha, ha.” I shook my head. “Anyhow. Progress is going great on the Dorms. We’ve moved to dorm room two.”
“Good, glad to hear. Have you given any thought to long term survival plan?”
I nodded. “Stan said we are going to have to replenish the land. Scrape top soil and replant. But that’ll have to be after we leave. When that’ll be I don’t know. He did give some encouraging news. A few farms about a mile away have well water.”
Ray drew in a bright look. “Well water. We just need to clear the pump for a few minutes and we should hit the good stuff. We better keep using it to keep the pumps in order.”
“I figured it would take a half an hour to get the water. Suits could be used.” I added.
Marcus raised his pencil in question. “People have been asking me about going out. And, to be honest, I can’t blame them. They’ve been trapped down here. You guys constantly talk about the body being able to recover from radiation if it’s fewer than 100 rads in a few weeks. What about we log people leaving and going, time them, estimate their exposure and stop them when they get too close. Let them recover.” He faced Mary Agnes. “Will that work?”
She rubbed her chin. “They might. It would certainly help spirits.”
I agreed and told Marcus to mark that down. “I have an idea and I don’t know how well this will work.”
They all gave me the ‘go ahead’ look.
“We have the artificial sun room. It has a concrete floor, right? What’s under the concrete floor? Dirt. What if we break up the floor, get to the dirt and try our hardest to plant in that room. I don’t know that it would work, but the artificial ultra violet rays in there can’t hurt. We can try.”
Ray pointed a finger. “Now that’s good planning ahead. Have you spoken to Stan?”
I shook my head. “I wanted to approach you with it first.”
Ray exhaled. “I don’t know about farming, Stan and his wife seem to be the jacks of all trades. I’d talk to him. If he thinks it might work, he may know what plants and vegetables we stand a good chance with.”
I nodded. “Luella said there is plenty of flour and barley on hand. More than we’ll use in years. If we could get something that could go with that we’d be good.”
“Gonna have a meeting?” Ray asked. “I think the people need a meeting to hear this.”
“Even just a little?” I asked.
Ray nodded.
After a exhale I spoke, “So we’ll gather up, tell about the plan to go outside. Tell about the well water. If Stan gives the OK on farming in the sun room, we’ll get volunteers for that.”
“What about long term?” Marcus questioned. “And I’m not talking farming. Have you given any thought to that?”
“Yes,” I replied. “We have a great community property right above us. Some cabins, a great resort. A lake. We can fish in that lake you know. Fish that survive and swim close to the bottom are not contaminated and if they were, they’d die. We can test them. I also want to give people long term responsibilities too. We have folks meandering. Responsibilities for the future.”
Ray looked at his watch. “Ten minutes. Pretty damn impressive.”
Curiously I stared waiting for an explanation.
Ray gave it. “You hashed out some stuff in ten minutes time. Now I can nap.”
“So you think it will work?” I asked. “You think it sounds good enough to have a meeting with.”
“Actually,” Ray said with a smile. “It sounds like a plan. And a damn good one.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
It was absolutely, without a doubt amazing. People clung tight to the plan for the future and even cheered about going outside.
All were agreeable to the limited exposure.
It was going to work.
Ray, once given the ‘go ahead’ to go back to work, was truly rejuvenated. Although there was something about his appearance that was faulted. He wasn’t himself. Thinner, baldness that would never go away, discoloration of his skin, and healed sores.
He was nothing compared to the sole survivor of the tunnel people.
Tunnel people was the name given to the fifty three that waited and were sick in the tunnel.
Brad gave them that name.
John was the sole survivor of the tunnel people and was making progress. Mary Agnes said the true test would be if he went another week without an episode, if so, he recovered.
Amazingly enough, I found out that the older you were the more tolerance you had to radiation. John was sixty-five, his age helped him.
But both John and Ray were one other thing. They were a visual testament to the fact that radiation was harmful.
I don’t think people truly understood the effect of radiation or the impact of it. I know I was educated, but not knowledgeable if that makes sense. You can’t see radiation, smell it, or feel it. So you face an invisible deadly enemy that you can’t see. When you can’t see something you can’t fathom it.
Almost is if the ability to not sense it at all made us all feel slightly invincible to its effects.
Ray would attest to that.
Now he and John would attest to the opposite.
People would see them and know this is what happens if they don’t follow the guidelines.
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