by Jo Spurrier
The wide purple scars on his chest and belly stood stark against his pale skin, livid and angry. Once the blood and grime had been sluiced away, he tipped the bucket over his head in a final rinse, and as the water drained away he heard squelching footsteps heading towards him. Shaking the water from his eyes, he found Cam watching him, with a set of clean clothes thrown over his shoulder and bowl of steaming liquid in one hand. With a grimace, Cam moved away from the fire, wrinkling his nose at the reek of scorching wool, and hung the clean set of clothing over the wagon to keep them out of the mud and then set the bowl down.
After stripping the excess water from his skin as best he could, Isidro dressed, the damp wool warmer than the winter air.
‘Better,’ Cam said with a nod. ‘You look like a man again, not a demon from the Fires Below. Now sit down and let me clean up your face.’
He kept forgetting about the wound there, even though it stung when he spoke. He sat on the wagon-tongue again as Cam laid a wet cloth across Isidro’s face to soak away the dried blood. Then he took a step back, hooking his thumbs into his belt. ‘Looks like the Akharians are still running. You scared the daylights out of them, Issey. I’m cursed glad you chose to come back to us when you did.’
‘It … wasn’t exactly a choice,’ Isidro said.
Cam shrugged. ‘Figure of speech. But alright, then. Tell me what happened.’
‘Sirri didn’t explain it?’
‘She told me what she knew … but it was all passed on through Rasten, until she was finally able to reach you after it was all over. Are you back to normal now? Or will you go back to the way you’ve been for these last few months?’
Normal? Isidro thought. There is no normal anymore. ‘I think … I think I’m running off power. I don’t truly understand … it’s like a flame — wood, oil or candlewax all burn. Different source, same result. You follow?’
‘I suppose so,’ Cam said. ‘Sirri said it was blood loss making you weak. Do you mean to say that the power has … what, taken up the slack?’
‘Something like that.’
‘But why now?’
The cuts to his face were starting to sting. He didn’t want to talk about it. He was so weary — he only wanted to lie down somewhere and forget all of this.
Cam was waiting patiently. He owed him an explanation, Isidro conceded. He owed him the truth. Cam was responsible for keeping these folk safe, he deserved to know what they faced. ‘You know what Kell did?’
‘That trap he sprang on you? Delphi said it was an initiation?’
‘He set me on the Blood Path. When the Akharians drew near, I sensed them. Somehow.’
‘I didn’t think mages like you could do that,’ Cam said.
‘Mages like me? You don’t understand. Kell was a mage like me. Rasten, too.’
‘Bullshit. I know you, Issey. You’re no Blood-Mage, any more than Sirri is. I don’t pretend to understand all this, but you’re not a beast like them.’
Isidro pressed the cloth harder to his cheek, feeling the burn as the astringent seeped into the cuts. ‘You haven’t seen what I did last night.’
‘Is it any different to what Sirri does in the heat of battle? She can’t help what she is, and neither can you.’
‘Easy for you to say,’ Isidro snapped. ‘A sword stays in its sheath until you draw it. This is like a wild beast, always searching for something weaker to attack.’
‘I understand,’ Cam said. ‘I watched Sirri struggle to control hers, remember? I’m not making light of the challenge, Issey. I just have faith that you’ll master it. Alright, that should have soaked enough, let me see those cuts.’
Isidro gritted his teeth as Cam began to wipe away the blood and dirt. After a few moments he closed his eyes and let him work. It took him back to when they were just a pair of fugitives trying to survive. He’d lost count of the number of times they’d tended each other’s wounds like this.
‘By the Black Sun, Issey,’ Cam said, his voice soft. ‘I didn’t ride through the night to argue with you. It’s just … it’s so cursed good to have you back. I need you, Issey. I’m the cursed commander … I don’t even know how that happened, but they’re all looking to me, even Sirri … I know she went through a lot, and she still has healing to do, but sometimes I fear she’s half mad from all that Kell and Rasten did to her. And now as we head east — the Akharians will face famine if we take their stores, and we’ll all starve if we don’t … and we still have to find a way to take these souls home. Isidro, I feel like I’m running blind here … I need my right-hand man. I know you can do this.’
‘How?’ Isidro demanded. ‘How do you know? I don’t even know what I am anymore.’
Cam looked away, biting his lip. When he did speak, he didn’t return Isidro’s steady gaze. ‘You turned to Rasten. Faced with seeing our people slaughtered, you turned to the man you have the most reason to hate. I can’t imagine what it cost you, and I can only hope that in your shoes I’d have done the same. If you can do that, Issey, then you can master this cursed power.’ He looked back, then, but he still didn’t meet Isidro’s eyes. Instead, he rinsed and wrung out the cloth again before giving Isidro’s cheek and temple one final wipe down. ‘There. Better. It’s not that bad, no need for stitches.’ He tossed the rag back into the bowl and pulled a jar of ointment from his sash.
Isidro let him dab it on, and then gingerly probed the damage. A few gashes and grazes, and a scattering of blisters. ‘Thanks.’
‘Anytime, brother. Well, Sirri will be glad to have you back. Perhaps … perhaps she can help —’ He broke off as Isidro shook his head. ‘No?’
‘She’s a Sympath. We couldn’t learn from each other in the Spire, and we’re no closer now.’
‘Ah. Well, then, maybe Delphine —’
‘By the Black Sun,’ Isidro spat. ‘No. Not her.’
Cam was startled. ‘But —’
‘It’s not safe! Her little one … I can feel it, Cam. I can feel the little heart beating inside her. It’s so small … I don’t trust my power around her. Sierra can handle it if I lose control, but Delphine and the baby … I can’t risk it.’
Cam considered it, and nodded, slowly. ‘Alright. That’s fair enough. I’ll talk to her.’
‘I know I’m letting her down. By all the Gods, she’s having my child and I ought to be there for her.’
‘I’ll look after her,’ Cam said. ‘Do what you need to do.’
Isidro raked his hand through his wet hair. ‘You’ve looked after her for this long, haven’t you? Cam —’
‘You’d do the same for me and Mira. You cursed near did, after I left the Spire.’
Isidro sighed and let his head hang. ‘Alright. What about the Akharians? Are we riding after them?’
Cam pursed his lips, and shook his head. ‘It’d take a week or more, and that’s more time for the eastern farmsteads to get their harvest out of our path. We need those supplies if we’re ever to see home again, and I’ve had word that our folk ranging eastwards have found some Akharian spies trying to infiltrate our ranks. Seems they’re claiming to have word from Ricalan, and I mean to deal with them before they have all their plans set in stone. We’ll stay the course.’
‘Seems a good call,’ Isidro said. ‘So, we’re moving out?’
‘First thing in the morning. We’ve still got a lot of ground to cover.’
‘I ought to have something to eat. You too, unless they fed you at the command tent while delivering the report.’
‘I could stand to have more. But before we go, Issey, there’s something I need to tell you …’
Isidro was preparing to rise, but at that he settled back onto the narrow beam.
Cam stared down at his feet before forcing himself to look up again. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘it’s … I’ve …’ He sighed. ‘Sirri and I. We’ve grown … close, and last night …’
Isidro marvelled at how Cam’s tone, so steady and assured before, had grown swiftly uncertain. He’d gone
from commander to his little brother in the space of a few heartbeats. He bowed his head, and scrubbed a hand over his scalp. ‘Sierra … by all the Gods, she doesn’t waste any time, does she?’
‘No,’ Cam said, ‘but I can see why she snatches at comfort whenever it’s offered. She was right enough, the way things can change in a heartbeat. Issey, I swear I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known …’
‘Known what?’
‘If I’d known you’d come back like this. I’d been thinking along these lines ever since last spring. I was going to wait, but … you were ill for months. Even when you were awake and talking, you were never quite there. Not like you are now. I suppose I’m just so weary of doing this on my own. And Sirri … well, you know what she’s like.’ Cam turned away, rubbing at his bristling chin, his mouth troubled.
‘Yes,’ Isidro said, ‘I know what she’s like.’ He remembered their first night, the tingling power in her touch, the way she’d clung to him with desperate hunger. The way she’d made him feel like a man again, not some broken, spent husk. What promise had Cam found in her arms? It couldn’t be the same thing she’d given to him in midwinter, she’d changed too much from the woman he’d known.
‘I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known. I never meant to spring it on you like this, but now … I need to be honest with you. I care for her, a lot. When we find Mira again, I want Sierra to be part of our family.’
Isidro leant forward, propping his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hand.
Cam stayed where he was, unmoving. ‘Do you … ah, ye gods, I know this is no time to ask, but I have to … Can you love her like you once did?’
The touch set the cuts stinging once again. ‘Fires Below, Cam. I barely know whether the sun’s rising or setting. It was bad enough back in the Spire after she ripped me open … now I feel like I’ve been lost in a blizzard and only just beginning to see clearly again. By the Black Sun, I don’t even know what I am anymore.’
‘You said that before,’ Cam said. ‘Perhaps you don’t know, but I do. You’re my brother. You’ve been at my side from the worst day of my life to the best. You’re the one who’s turned disaster into triumph, more than once. And you’re the man who’s going to help us take these people home, and take our land back from the cursed Slavers. I know you’re still trying to find your feet, Issey, but you’ll get your bearings, sooner than you think. And as for Sirri … I know she had little choice but to leave us, but I understand why you’d be wary of grasping a hot coal after you were burned the first time. She was yours first … do you want me to back off?’
Isidro tipped his head back to gaze up at the sky, clear blue now and as cold as frost. He shook his head. ‘No.’
‘Are you sure?’
He gave a bitter sigh. ‘I’m not sure of anything these days. I just know that if you turn away she’ll take it as a punishment, and I don’t want that. She’s suffered enough. I … I want her to be happy. She deserves it, after all she’s been through.’
‘And if it’s not me she truly wants?’ Cam said.
Isidro shrugged. ‘I know her, Cam. She’ll take her pleasure where she can find it and be grateful.’ He fought the urge to hide his face in his hand again, and instead forced himself to stare out across the tents. ‘Back in the ranges I wanted her back. But so much has happened since then … right now I’m too cursed broken to know one way or another. You’re right enough about grasping a hot coal … but you know her as well as I do. You know what you’re letting yourself in for.’
‘You were good together,’ Cam said, his voice sad and soft. ‘I hope you’ll find that again. She misses you, Issey.’
And I miss her, Isidro thought. But neither of us are the same people we once were. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘if you marry her and Mira, does it really matter what I think?’
‘Of course it does,’ Cam snapped. ‘Do you think I’d hold you to it if you didn’t want it? I wouldn’t expect it anymore than I’d expect you to give up Delphine.’
Delphine. That was another question he couldn’t even begin to answer.
‘I always thought it would be for the best that we weren’t likely to marry,’ Cam said. ‘But the last year settled a lot of things …’ He broke off with a shake of his head. ‘Look, I don’t mean to push you. I know you’re still reeling with all that’s happened, I just didn’t want to keep it from you.’
Isidro nodded. ‘And you haven’t. But now, just let me be. Please. I can’t tell you any more than I already have.’
Cam bowed his head. ‘Alright then. Let’s get something to eat.’
Isidro nodded. ‘I’ll follow you in in a moment,’ he said. ‘I just … I need some time to think.’
For a moment Cam seemed uncertain, but then he nodded and walked away.
Isidro ran a hand over his face again. All this talk of the future seemed abstract, irrelevant. It was a moot point unless he could master this twisted, tainted power, and he didn’t even know where to begin.
Sierra couldn’t help him. Delphine, either. But perhaps … he drew a sharp breath, feeling empty and echoing. There was one man who had been where Isidro now stood.
Isidro closed his eyes and reached inward, creeping along the pathways in his mind once again.
The connection to Sierra was there once again, as solid and real as if it had never been gone. But Isidro passed it by, and reached for the other doorway instead.
Rasten had strengthened his shields. Isidro noted how they had been shored up, made taller and more dense, but then he slipped through them just as he had before, slick and noiseless like a snake through grass.
He found himself in Rasten’s head, looking down on a bound and naked man, hanging by his wrists in a darkened room with blood dripping in rivulets over his skin.
The moment Rasten sensed his presence he closed his eyes, blocking off the vision. I’m in the middle of something here, he said.
So I see. Another crop of mages? Isidro asked.
There’re always more. I don’t advise you to watch, you won’t like what you see. What do you want?
To call in a debt, Isidro said.
Chapter 10
Rhia rested her head against the chair back, listening to the rain beat on the shuttered windows. The cottage turned prison was small, with dark, heavy beams hanging low overhead, but a fire burned bright in the fireplace.
At the table, Makaio’s agent Sukaro cackled softly to himself as he wiped the carved figures from the game-board. ‘Another game, Karom?’
‘Why, so you can wipe the floor with me again, sir? I’m surprised you find any sport in it.’
‘What else is there to do? If you’d apply yourself, lad, you might learn to mount a proper defence and hold out a little longer.’
‘I know my strengths, sir. With your leave, I’d rather step away for a turn or two.’
‘As you wish, then.’ Sukaro glanced at Rhia. ‘Madame, can I tempt you?’
‘I’m afraid not, emissary,’ Rhia said, rubbing a hand over her eyes, weary from reading in the dim light. The Tomoan emissary was a consummate diplomat. Even with their captors convinced they were enemy spies, he’d talked them into providing books and other amusements to break up the long hours. ‘I don’t have the stomach for such things.’
Cam had once tried to teach her, but she’d found no enjoyment in it, only an anxious kind of strain from pitting herself against her friends, even if just in fun.
Sukaro cast a glance at the fourth of their number, Brekya, who lounged in a padded chair. She had one hand across her brow while the other plucked restlessly at the fabric covering the chair, pulling wisps of lamb’s wool through a hole in the cloth.
With a shrug, Sukaro pushed the game-board aside and pulled out a stack of thin cards, each one painted with bright colours. He began to lay them out, plain faces upwards.
Rhia covered a yawn as the shutters rattled again. It was a drowsy sound, but not enough to lull her to sleep. There’d been little t
o do but sleep, and she’d had a glut of it. Instead, she found herself thinking of those she’d left behind. Even after all these weeks, she still felt the hot flush of resentment that Mira had ordered her into the company of strangers travelling into a land to which she’d vowed to herself she would never return.
Oh, she understood why Mira chose her to carry the message, but she still resented being forced to take part in this game of politics and war. I don’t want to be here, Rhia thought with a hot flush of anger. I don’t want to hear that Isidro died at Kell’s hand, so far from the snow. I don’t want to hear Cam weep as he tells me the tale. And I don’t want to bring news of his son when I haven’t seen the lad in a month or more, and don’t even know if the babe still lives …
Then, through the rattling shutters and the moan of the wind, Rhia heard hoofbeats thudding through the mud.
At the table, Sukaro paused, and Brekya lifted her head. ‘Sounds like a messenger,’ she said.
‘Indeed. An important one,’ Sukaro said, ‘to be approaching at that pace.’
Karom grunted in reply. ‘The question is, will we learn of it?’
Sukaro smiled at that. ‘Just wait, lad.’
He never showed annoyance, Rhia noted, unless it served his purpose.
It didn’t take long. Not ten minutes later, Rhia heard footsteps coming along the path to the cottage door.
Swiftly, Karom and Brekya went to their assigned positions, Karom at Sukaro’s right shoulder and Brekya at Rhia’s back.
The door opened and Commander Tanric stepped in, shaking rain from his oiled wool coat.
‘Commander,’ Sukaro said, ‘so nice to see you. May I offer you something to drink?’
‘Thank you, emissary, but no.’ At first, Tanric had been confounded by his prisoner’s manner, but he’d adapted to it in time. ‘Your request for an audience with the king has been granted. We’ll set out at first light.’
