by H. B. Stumbo
His face was inches from mine and he clenched his teeth, “Charlotte shut up. You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.”
I turned on my heel and headed towards the tent. Fuck this, I was not going to let him lie now. I downed the rest of my drink from Riley and found Kim in the thinning crowd. Waving towards her and motioning to an empty table near the front I headed towards it fuming. I sat down at the table next to her, Riley and two other good looking men that appeared to be near his age. I waved over towards Rick and Kelly, he shrugged his shoulders at the distance between us and picked his conversation back up with someone next to him.
“You okay?” Kim whispered.
“No,” I shook my head aware that someone had sat down beside me. “I want to leave.” Tears stung my eyes.
“Why?” She whispered, “What’s wrong?”
Before I could answer someone coughed beside me.
“She’ll be fine once she eats something,” Vance’s voice was calm and he smiled at Kim as I shot him another evil glare. “You ladies both look beautiful tonight. Kim, thank you for coming along.”
Kim smiled at Vance and raised her eyebrows at me. I shook my head at her and looked up at the God sitting next to me.
“Why are you sitting here?” I wanted to hit him.
He smiled, “It’s my party I can sit where I want.”
I rolled my eyes and I felt him grab my leg under the table. Desire shot through me and the goose bumps rose on my skin. His eyes blazed and I noticed his jaw tense.
“It’s still there for you, too.” It wasn’t a question and I knew he was referring to my ever growing desire for him. I reached for my glass that the waiter had just filled with white wine and downed it almost immediately. I was vaguely aware of his eyes on mine as I wasted no time in letting the wine course through me.
“You really should watch how much you drink.” His breath was hot on my ear and I shivered.
“I’ll be fine,” I hissed and it looked like he was fighting back a smile.
Dinner was torture. Kim chatted endlessly with Riley and his two friends who I came to know as Alex and Kyle. They were nice guys and on another occasion I would have probably joined in on their conversation but I was pissed and hurt and Vance refused to leave his seat next to me. He chatted openly with guests who congratulated him on his success with some business ventures that I had no idea he was involved in. A lot of people told him how much they liked the house and how beautiful it looked since it had been restored; some of them mentioned how proud his Father would be of him. A few times he credited me for the gardens and I blushed and felt uneasy. Some of the guests shook my hands and eyed me oddly, no doubt wondering if there was something going on between the two of us. I felt sick and I knew it wasn’t from the wine. I kept looking for Rita and wondering why he wasn’t sitting with her, but she was nowhere to be found. Maybe she had gone inside with her friend, a shudder ran through me when I thought about her possibly staying here with Vance and having a bag of clothes upstairs. My stomach churned and I felt my face sour as I glanced at him, he looked puzzled as he measured my reaction. I downed another glass of wine and sulked.
I ate in silence and listened to the buzz around me. Vance squeezed my leg every now and again and I always jerked it away. I didn’t want to still feel that way towards him, especially if he had something going on with another woman, but even a second’s worth of a touch from him flooded my limbs with a hot and burning feeling that nearly winded me.
I was finishing dessert when Vance excused himself and headed out to where the band was setting up for later. I had a chance to leave and I wanted to take it. As if he could read my mind, he turned around before leaving the tent and smiled directly at me. He pointed to his watch and held up three fingers, implying that he would be back in a few minutes. I knew it would take me longer than that to get out of the tent and collect my car so I slumped back in my seat and sighed. Kim had made her way to the bar with Riley and Alex and Kyle was chatting to someone about a contracting company in southern Luisiana. I sipped my wine and almost spat it out when Rita plopped down next to me.
“What are you doing here?” She asked coldly.
“I was invited,” I didn’t want to deal with a woman scorned and the look on her face proved to me that was what she was.
“Listen, Vance is off limits so you can stop trying to suck him in.” She flipped her black hair and propped herself on the table with her elbow.
I wanted to laugh at her. I wanted to tell her she was fucking stupid and that there was nothing going on and she didn’t have to worry about it but instead I stood up. She eyed me oddly and Kyle turned and looked at us both.
“I need some air, can you let Kim know?”Kyle nodded towards me and eyed Rita up and down and rolled his eyes. Rita stood up and grabbed my arm.
“Seriously, back off.”
I yanked my arm away from her and she looked stunned. “Rita I don’t know what you’re getting at but there is NOTHING going on with Vance and me. So let it fucking go. You can have the asshole for all I care.”
I stormed out of the tent before she could say anything back and looked for any place I could go that would free me of people. I stormed towards the dock when I noticed there was no one there and the lights dimmed as I got further from the party. It was nearly eighty thirty and the sun was low in the western sky, the evening colors matched my mood, grey and alone. The further I got from everyone the better my mood became although the sourness that Rita had added onto my mood was not helping.
I sat on the new bench that was added on the dock with my arms crossed and sucked in a huge breath. Rita really was worked up about Vance and why the fuck did he have to sit with me at dinner? I shook my head and looked at the water that rolled in with the tide. I was so pissed and emotionally exhausted that I couldn’t even enjoy the new dock or the peace and tranquility that it added to the backyard. I just wanted to go home and to go back to the person I was before all of this started. Parties were never really my thing and I don’t know why I gave into coming so easily. The more I scowled the more I admitted to myself that I in fact did know why, and a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was hoping to see Vance. Now I wasn’t so sure that that had been a good idea. I sat in the silence and let myself calm down.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Vance’s voice was calm but I moaned when I saw him.
“Can’t you get the fucking hint? I want to be alone. Go find Rita, she is already pissed enough that you’re talking to me.”
He sat down next to me and leaned back against the bench. “She is nothing to me, when are you going to let it go?”
I laughed and he looked offended, “I’m not stupid, Vance.”
“And I’m not lying,” he hissed out. “I’ve told you before I haven’t lied and I’m sure as shit not going to start now.”
I shook my head and turned towards him. “Then what the fuck was that kiss on your cheek all about, and you’re little chat you had with her before you came and talked to me? And why did she just tell me to back off from you in the tent?”
Vance ran a hand through his hair. “It’s me trying to convince her that I never wanted anything more than a business relationship with her. It’s her trying to convince herself and everyone around her that we’re a thing.”
I scoffed at his words, “Well like I said she has been making everyone at the office know how much time she spends with you.”
“It’s a lie,” he said and gripped my shoulders. His eyes were deep and anxious, he looked so serious. “The only time she is here is when she is here with the workers during the day.”
I rolled my eyes, “And you’ve never cooked for her like you did for me?”
“She ate with Riley, myself and Rick one day when she stopped in around lunch.” His eyes were straight ahead and he was staring at the water.
“So why did she just make it a point to tell me to stay away?” I whined.
“I don’t fucking know, Cha
rlotte.” His voice raised a little and he sighed, “She wants there to be something between us and there isn’t ever going to be. I don’t want her, I don’t want anyone.” He raked his hand through his hair again and tapped his foot quickly on the ground. “Except for you…I wanted you, I still want you but you chose to stay away.”
I bit my lip and turned away from him, “Because you told me I should stay away.”
“Yes, because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“And why do you think you will?” This time I shouted and I was thankful there was a band beginning to play in the background.
“That’s complicated,” he replied quietly and looked away from me like he was keeping something life altering from me. It made me groan with agony and anger and he turned back to me then.
“Try me,” I was seething and so was he. We stared menacingly at each other, neither of us backing down.
“I don’t want to fight with you Charlotte. I don’t want to hurt you, you’re fragile and you have been hurt before, I don’t want to be the reason you hurt even more, but I can’t help that I’m pulled towards you, I can’t help that I want you.”
That took me by surprise. Everyone in town knew a little something about Jackson and I, I had to believe that word had gotten back to Vance somehow. I would never fully escape the past that I had no matter who I encountered in this town and who I encountered now, people in small towns just knew things. The fact that Vance was telling me he wanted me played with the fire crackling in my soul.
“I don’t want to hurt anymore either,” I sighed.
“But you want me, don’t you?” His voice was hoarse again as it broke my train of thought and I sighed. “It’s why you came tonight. You said you have been miserable, I haven’t been any better.”
I looked out at the water again and suddenly felt the need to run away. Why did I always run when he was being honest, or when anyone was being honest? I didn’t have time to sort through that now though, now I was craving my solitude.
“I have to go,” I stood up and he mirrored me, I glanced nervously around the yard and headed towards the front of the house bypassing the garden entirely. I could hear him shout my name and I knew he was right behind me but I hammered on as I felt my eyes pool up with tears. When I reached the front porch I was thankful again that the band was playing as Vance was shouting my name and swearing.
“Charlotte just stop. For one fucking second stop running.”
I turned and looked at him, he looked worried and he stood inches from me, his hands were raised like he was surrendering. “I can’t play these fucking mind games with you Vance! You want me, and then you warn me to stay away. You’re warm and inviting and then cold and rude. I can’t keep up and I don’t understand why I have a desire to be near you.”
He lowered his hands and looked somber. “I know I told you that you should stay away, but I can’t take it. I want you. I need you, and I know you feel the same.” He stalked a few more feet in my direction and I wasn’t moving. “Right now, I am good for you. I’m better for you than anyone else at this party and probably in this town. Don’t fight me, not now.”
“Why now? Why now are you good for me when before you weren’t? Is it because you know telling me that is the only way you’ll convince me to stick around?”
He shook his head. “It’s because it’s true. I used to think that I was bad for you, that I’d hurt you more than help you, but now I don’t think that’s true. Seeing and hearing how miserable you’ve been, that changes things. Apparently I’m hurting you either way, with or without you.”
That was true, I could tell it in the way he spoke as well as in the things he said. I couldn’t imagine being more depressed than I currently was. If I was this miserable without him, then how could I be any worse with him? I didn’t care why Vance thought he was bad for me and I didn’t care that originally he thought he would hurt me, right now none of that seemed to matter. I took a deep cleansing breath. “And you really don’t have anything going on…with Rita, or anyone else?”
He ran a hand through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh, “Damnit Charlotte, no. You are the only one I want. How can I prove that to you?”
This time I took a step towards him and his eyes grew wide. It was as though he couldn’t believe it himself. I reached him and I felt his hand on my waist, he steadied me and with his free hand he gripped my neck. “Please let me do this” he whispered.
Before he had time to speak again and before my brain would tell me no, I grabbed onto him and pulled him into me. Our mouths collided more violently than before. We were all hands and tongues and I couldn’t remind myself to breathe. When he finally pulled away and let me breathe he pressed his forehead to my own and smiled.
He grabbed my hand and tugged me up the porch steps and into the too large house. From inside I could hear the muffled sounds of the band and the clinking of glasses and laughter of people outside. The pull to be near him was stronger than before and as he led me through the house he kept his hand firmly grasped to mine. When he reached the kitchen he turned and pressed me against the bar.
“I want to do this the right way,” he murmured as he kissed my neck and I felt a very small moan escape.
“What are you talking about?” I noticed as I spoke how ragged my breathing had become and he smiled as his gaze met mine.
“We’re taking this slow Charlotte, and as badly as I want to take you upstairs and prove to you how badly I do want you, or how badly I have wanted you for the last month, I’m going to take you back to the party and we’re going to dance and talk.”
I felt a pang of disappointment fire through me. Was I ready to let someone else in? Not really, but at this point my desire for Vance was stronger than the lock on my brain and I wanted him. I didn’t care right now about his mind games in the past and I didn’t care about anything other than his hands on me. He noticed the look of disappointment on my face and smiled, “Ten minutes ago you hated me; you thought I had something going on with Rita and you didn’t even want me to touch you, and now you don’t want me to stop touching you, do you?”
I giggled a little and shook my head as he laughed himself. He shook his head and looked down, “Come on, people are going to wonder where I went. Besides that, I really want to get to know you on a friendship level.” He clasped my hand and pulled me back outside, towards the roaring music and the throngs of people cluttering his backyard. He kept a firm grasp on my hand as he pulled me through the crowd and I caught sight of a few women and men nodding appreciatively at our clasped hands. I blushed and looked down as he pulled me towards the dance floor and they began playing a slow, melodic version of Have you Ever Seen the Rain.
Chapter 15
I’ll level with you. I’ll keep my hands on you but it’s going to be done publicly so that we don’t cross any lines.” Vance winked and I blushed.
He pulled me a little closer to him as we began to move and I looked around at the people filling his backyard. I noticed Rick and his wife still sitting at their table talking with several local business owners, I was aware that most of the people here I had never seen before and I glanced up towards Vance who was regarding me closely.
“Who are all these people?”
He smiled, “Most of them are business owners from neighboring towns; people my family has done business with over the years. Quite a few of our friends came from North Carolina.” I looked around quickly and wondered if his family he lived with had come. The thought of Riley reminded me of Kim and I glanced around quickly for them. I noticed Riley talking with a group of people but Kim wasn’t nearby, I furrowed my brow.
“What is it?”
“I just wonder where Kim got to,” I mumbled and Vance laughed. He turned our bodies towards the garage and nodded his head in the direction of the field where a few party stragglers were laughing and drinking.
“She’s out there with Alex. That’s where the fireworks display goes off and Alex is helping
with that.” He smiled and shook his head.
“What?”
“Alex is a bit of a…connoisseur of women. I’m pretty sure Kim is peaking his interest.”
I wanted to roll my eyes. Kim could really be a slut sometimes, but I needed to remember that she had no desire to have a relationship with anyone. I thought briefly about how much she and Riley had spoken earlier and I couldn’t hide the fact that I hoped something would spark between the two of them. Riley was unlike any man I had ever met. He was kind and good and seemed to have all of his ducks in a row. Kim needed guidance; he would have been a good guide.
“How old is Riley?” I asked quickly and realized I really had no knowing of anything about Riley or Vance for that matter.
“Twenty-three,” Vance’s expression changed every time he thought about Riley.
“How old are you?”
“I wondered if you were going to ever ask these types of questions.”
“What type of questions do you mean?”
He shrugged, “The type of questions most people ask others when they want to get to know them. Small talk. You pretty much avoided all the standard questions and went right in for the bigger questions. It’s like you want to know the end of the movie without seeing the beginning.”
I was aware our movement had slowed to almost nothing as we spoke and I shook my head, “You never asked me those types of questions either.”
“I don’t like to pry.” He was stifling a smile.
We picked up the pace again and he sighed. “I’m twenty seven. I’ll be twenty eight in November.”
I relaxed a little at this, for some reason I worried I was older than Vance. Maybe it was because he was so gloriously handsome that I felt he was younger than he was.
“Don’t you want to know how old I am?”
He shrugged, “Only if you want to tell me.” He smiled at me and I blushed. “But for the sake of getting to know each other, I’ll bite. How old are you, Charlotte?”
