by H. B. Stumbo
I nodded knowing I wouldn’t have the strength to tell Rich or Lara my biggest fears or confirm theirs. He stood up and walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“I want you to talk to Officer Forks, she is willing to help and she might be able to catch the bastard before he gets to close, or if he gets to close.”
I nodded and offered a weak smile to him as he exited his office.
Officer Forks sat down next to me and smiled kindly, “I know the last thing you want to do is tell your story to someone new. This isn’t my first rodeo and I don’t want you to have to open that wound farther. I read your file; I know the logistics of the situation.”
I nodded and relaxed a little at the realization that I wouldn’t have to open up entirely, “Thank you officer Forks.”
She reached over and clasped my hand. “Call me Diane.”
I smiled at her as tears threatened to prick my eyes. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t even worried; I was terrified. The fear that Jackson had instilled within my bones was a fear that I couldn’t explain.
“Charlotte, I don’t know the details and I know nothing other than what was in your file. I imagine there was a lot more to it than just the night you were taken to the hospital and the night he disappeared.”
I nodded as memories filled my mind and I began to shake, “We don’t have to open the bottle on what he did to you, but I do need to know why he would come back or try to contact you.”
I stiffened and tried to regain focus. His words flooded my mind as my memory ran wild.
You can’t ever leave me. I won’t let you be without me. I love you Charlotte, and this is the only way I know how to prove it to you. I am the best thing that will ever happen to you, you will never have anything better than me. I’ll die before I live without you, and I won’t let you live without me.
I swallowed hard as the hole in my stomach seemed to tear open further.
“I think he wants me,” I shuddered as I tried to speak the words I so desperately feared. His own words from the phone call haunting me, he even said it then, he wanted me.
“Like he wants to be with you?”
I shook my head and closed my eyes, “Well maybe, but just because he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else. I think what he really wants, is to take me away and keep me with him. Or he wants me dead. He failed the first time with me, maybe he wants to try again.”
I felt Diane tense beside me but she tried to play it off, “And why do you think that?”
I looked at her tense face and sized her up. She looked frigid and she looked like this job had aged her more than the actual years of life had.
“Because it’s the truth. He would have killed me that night if he hadn’t been stopped.”
My mind shifted unwillingly to the final night I had with Jackson and I winced at the memory and forced it back to the dark part of my mind. I felt Diane grab onto my shoulder and hold me in place.
“Why would he want you dead?”
“He either wants me with him or dead, he doesn’t want me with anyone else. There is no other option for Jackson Greene.”
Images of Vance flooded my mind and I felt myself get sick. Either it was a strange coincidence that Jackson had contacted me or he knew I had been spending time with someone else. Diane looked at me like I was holding back from telling her something but I shook my head. There was no way Jackson was in town, he wouldn’t make it two steps in without being detected. I wasn’t the only one who had succumbed to his abuse. The hatred for him ran deep in New Haven but it spread like wildfire to Locke’s Point and there was a full blown witch hunt for him when he disappeared. No, there was no way Jackson was in Locke’s Point; he was too smart for that.
“The night he disappeared, do you remember anything?”
I shut my eyes and felt myself shake, “Parts of it.”
“Take a deep breath we don’t have to do this now, I’m just wondering about his disappearance, I’m trying to figure out why he would disappear for a year and then resurface.”
“He disappeared because someone stopped him, someone saved me. He didn’t want to go to jail and he knew he would, so he left. I’ve tried to convince myself that he died since the officers found so much of his blood at the scene, but deep down I knew better.”
Diane placed a hand on top of mine and squeezed just as a sob escaped my lips. “We’re not going to talk anymore about that night; we’re not going to even think about it. I’m going to do my best to find him and settle this score.”
I could hear her talking but her words became muted. My mind raced through the events of my final hours with Jackson and I knew they should be the final hours of my life, but they weren’t. Sometimes, especially times like now, I wished I had died. At this point it seemed death would be the only place where my thoughts would be still and Jackson would not exist.
Just as Diane started to speak again the door to Officer Maloney’s office burst open and Lara came flying through. Without a word or hesitation she swooped me up and held me tight. All the flood gates that I had held in place opened at the extreme amount of love and worry poured from Lara into me. I could see Rich standing in the doorway, a look of sheer panic set into his beautiful face which caused me to cry more.
Officer Diane excused herself and let Lara dote on me. I was aware that she was speaking to officer Maloney and Uncle Rich who nodded understandingly.
Lara pulled away from me and ran her hands up to my face to wipe my tears on my face.
“My dear girl, why didn’t you call me first?”
I shrugged as I gripped Lara’s arms, “I didn’t want you to worry.”
“I always worry,” She choked on a sob again and I sighed.
“I’m fine Lara, I’m okay, it was just a phone call.” I tried to put on a brave ace and forgot my conversation with Diane.
She shook her head and held up her hand. “No, no it wasn’t. That man is dangerous. How’d he get your number? We had everything changed, we’ve been so careful.” Her voice trailed off as Rich approached and pulled her off of me.
“Let’s not freak Charlotte out more so than I’m sure she already is.”
My eyes met with his and we exchanged silent gratitude for each other, “Charlotte, why don’t you come stay with us tonight? Officer Maloney thinks you should stay with people for a few days, just in case the worst case scenario is actually true.”
I nodded, I knew better than to be alone right now and I knew better than to tell Lara any different. She would not have me going home with Jackson contacting me.
Officer Maloney and Diane appeared back in his office as Lara wiped her face. He handed me my phone back and smiled the kindest smile he could.
“You’re going to want to let us know if you have any other calls or texts that seem odd, and you need to let us know right away so that we can hopefully track them. I’d keep your phone here for surveillance however, two calls and only one conversation isn’t a lot to go on, and since you’ve been here you’ve received four calls and several text messages from someone named Vance. Seems persistent.”
Feeling exhausted I realized that we were supposed to go out. I looked at the clock, it was nearing six thirty and he was going to pick me up at six. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Vance’s worry for me already went deep enough, what would he think now? I didn’t want to unleash the story that was Jackson to him, but what other option did I have?
I couldn’t think about that right now. I just wanted to go to Lara’s and try to relax. As though she could read my mind she wrapped her arms around me and led me out of the office. Diane stopped me on the way and smiled. “We will be in contact Charlotte. I’d like to talk to you more within the next few days if I could?”
I nodded at her, I owed her that much, she was one of the first officers who didn’t pry.
Lara and Rich helped me in the car and I was uneasy. We drove to their house in silence; Lara turned around several times and just looked me up and down and smi
led softly. I didn’t want to be a little girl in their care again but right now that is exactly what I was. I felt violated. I felt like the part of my life I had spent a year getting over was flung at me like an atom bomb. I wished I had never met Jackson, wished he hadn’t happened to show up and sweep me off of my feet the way he had. He probably still had fresh blood on his hands from before and knowing what I know now it made me want to vomit.
I hated him. I hated what he did to me, and I hated what he did to the woman before me. Why wasn’t I dead? Why couldn’t I just be dead?
My thoughts were interrupted by Lara’s soft voice speaking quickly to Rich about Micah.
“Please don’t call him and tell him,” I pleaded from the back. “Please don’t make him worry, not yet, not until there is something to worry about.”
Lara nodded but I knew somehow word would get back to him. When we arrived at their house I climbed up the stairs and into my old room. Neither of them stopped me or followed me, they both knew me well enough to know right now I needed to lay down. My old room was still the same; posters on the walls and the fluffy white quilt were strewn across the bed. I laid down on it and rolled onto my side feeling a huge hole in my heart. I could feel my emotions get further from me and I recognized the feeling instantly. This was how I felt when the dust settled and I was released from the hospital.
My phone chirped and freed me from my current thoughts; I realized I still hadn’t contacted Vance.
I scanned through the messages he sent me, starting with the first.
Vance: You haven’t answered any of my calls, are we still going tonight?
Vance: Charlotte…I knocked on your door for ten minutes, where are you, your car is here?
Vance: I don’t want to bother you, but I’m worried. Please call me.
The last one he sent me was just my name, nothing else. I could imagine him saying it and thinking the worst, he was so good at thinking the worst.
I held the phone to my ear and called him, he answered on the first ring, his tone clipped; I fought back tears.
“Vance, I’m sorry,” My voice trailed off into tears.
“Charlotte, what the fuck is going on.” His tone was angry and laced with fear.
I could barely speak and I knew I owed him an explanation but I could not give him full details on the phone.
“Something happened, something from my past, and I had to take care of some things.”
He was silent, his silence scared me. He didn’t pry and he didn’t say anything, he just breathed into the phone. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” My heart was hurt though.
“Charlotte, where are you?”
“Rich and Lara’s.”
He sighed, “Will you please tell me why?”
I sighed, “I can’t be alone right now.”
I could hear the anxiety in his voice, “Are you in danger?”
I bit my lip as the tears fell, “I don’t know.”
Vance stayed on the line as I cried softly into the phone and felt terrible. I know it killed him to not know why I was so upset but he didn’t say anything, he just listened to me cry.
“You have to promise to fill me in on things one day, Charlotte.”
I nodded even though I knew he couldn’t see me.
“Look, you need to take a deep breath and stop crying. Just, try to relax, try to get some sleep. Rich and Lara, they are there with you right?”
I nodded again and sniffled, I couldn’t get anything but the words yes out. As though he could sense the fact that I wouldn’t be talking anymore he sighed, “I’ll call you later baby, just…just try to relax okay.”
I could tell by his tone that he was anxious and worried. Whether or not he would say it I could tell he was wound up tighter than a spring. I imagined him tensing his jaw and balling up his fists as he tried to soothe me. The line went dead and I dropped the phone to the floor and sobbed myself into a deep sleep.
I was vaguely aware where I was when I heard voices outside my bedroom door. I shifted in the small bed and rubbed my face.
“She is probably asleep, I don’t want you to startle her; she tends to get…aggressive and agitated after a situation like this. The doctors told us it was to be expected, self-defense maybe.” Lara’s voice trailed off with the memory she was referring to.
“I’ll take my chances.”
I recognized the voice instantly and the door opened and I sat up quickly. The light from the hallway shined into my room and Vance stood in the doorway looking worried and sick, he relaxed a little when he saw me and I felt myself tear up again. He reached the edge of my bed in seconds and wrapped himself around me. I cried into his shoulder and was aware that he was shaking as he held me.
“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re fine, I’m here.” His voice was pained as he spoke. I cried into his shoulder and his grip around me tightened. After a few minutes I finally pulled myself away from him and he smiled softly at me and ran his thumb over my swollen lips.
“Charlotte…you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”
“How did you know where Lara and Rich lived?”
He smiled, “It wasn’t hard to find an address online. I wasn’t going to let you be alone, not when you sounded like you did.”
I relaxed a little as he let go of me and I wiped my face with my sleeve. I could tell he was full of questions but he wasn’t going to ask any of them, instead he just looked at me. A feeling of ease and peace shot through me, I didn’t expect that. He was here for me, not for any other reason. I felt a lump form in my throat although this time not from sadness, this time it was from pure appreciation of the man sitting next to me.
“What can I get you, are you thirsty, hungry?”
I shook my head, “I could use some water but I’ll get it.”
He shook his head and stood up. “No, you stay here, I’ll get it.”
He exited the room and I glanced at the clock on my end table, it was nearly midnight. Rich walked into the room as Vance left and walked over to me holding two pairs of sweat pants, I looked at him oddly.
“Micah always leaves clothes here.” He shook his head at the mention of my brother. “There is a pair for you to sleep in and a pair for Vance. You can’t be comfortable in your jeans.” Confusion swept across my face and Rich sat down next to me and smiled.
“Vance said he wasn’t leaving you. Either he was staying here with you or you were going with him, Lara wouldn’t budge to you leaving tonight.” He smiled at the mention of it and I could picture Lara with her arms crossed as Vance tried to swoon her into letting him take me. Talk about a good first impression.
“This thing with Vance…is it serious?” Rich looked worried, like he was crossing a line.
I shrugged, “He’s been a very good friend to me for a while now.”
Rich smiled at me and held my hand. “He introduced himself as your boyfriend. I thought your Aunt was going to have a coronary when he said that.”
I flushed and looked away. Vance and I had never discussed the terms of our relationship.
“As long as you are okay with it, I’m fine with him staying with you tonight, I don’t think he’ll take no for an answer. He is very stubborn, a lot like his father.” Rich’s voice trailed off at the mention of his father and then he looked back at me and smiled. “Charlotte, are you sure you’re okay?”
I nodded, I knew even though he wouldn’t say it that Rich was just as worried about me as Lara was. He was more concerned about Jackson than he would ever let on and on top of that, he was concerned about the new boyfriend he had no idea about that just showed up on his doorstep.
“If you need me, I’m down the hall, although with Vance here I’m sure you’ll be in good hands. If he is as much like as father as I think he is, he’s a good guy. If you have any reservations about him, I think it’s safe to say you can put them to rest.” He smiled at me and wrapped his arms around me before he stood up and left my room. I sat there in the dark trying
to come to terms with the way my night turned out. I could have been enjoying deep fried food and music in the street but instead I was wrapped up in my old quilt fighting back tears. I was a little girl again, lost in a world too big for me.
My door squeaked open and I jumped a little, but relaxed when Vance entered with a glass of ice water. He shut the door behind him and flicked on the bedside lamp and smiled. I took the glass gratefully and began drinking not realizing I was as thirsty as I was. I sat it down on the table and Vance grabbed one of the pairs of pants.
“Your uncle told me he was going to get us something to sleep in; do you have a preference on which pair?”
I shook my head and he pulled his shirt off revealing his perfectly sculpted chest and causing me to take a sharp intake of breath. Even in my current state of emotion he could still affect me. He unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down and stepped out of them. I felt myself flush and turn away, he pulled the sweats on and smiled.
I stood up and grabbed the other pair, I slid my shorts off and pulled the baggy pants on and tightened the draw string until they would stay up. To my surprise, Vance had turned away from me as I did so to give me some privacy.
I sat back down on the bed and sighed. He sat next to me and rubbed my leg for a few minutes before turning towards me and offering a weak smile. “I know you’re upset and I know it has something to do with an ex-boyfriend. Your Aunt didn’t give many details or much insight into the situation, she said it was your story to tell and I admire her for saying that.”
