He’d noticed a lot of things about Polly during the picnic lunch. To begin with, the twins had taken most of his attention, but once they had decided what they wanted and had settled to eat their food, he had been able to switch his focus back to Polly.
That’s when he’d realised what Polly was doing.
In the self-appointed role of waitress, passing round the various foods everyone had contributed and refilling the plastic mugs with fruit smoothie, lemonade or water, she was cleverly keeping everyone else happy and too busy to notice that she wasn’t eating anything herself. It was subtle but obvious if you studied her. And he did. Polly picked at things…a bit of salad, a sliver of chicken or some of the delicious blue cheese which Chloe, who claimed to be addicted to it, told him came from the Trevellyans’ farm shop. He’d made a mental note to buy some. But Polly, by always having something in her hand, and switching her attention between different people, masked the fact that she never actually put any food in her mouth.
Looking up, he met Oliver’s gaze and saw the concern in his new friend’s eyes. In the week he’d been at the surgery, Luca had discovered that Oliver was not only an exceptional doctor but very empathetic and aware of people. Now Luca shared with him a moment of silent understanding. Oliver had noticed too.
A frown knotted his brow as he thought back over the days he’d spent with her. He’d never seen her eating. She had made herself scarce at lunchtime, and on the day she had claimed to have eaten at her desk—when Nick had taken him to Smugglers for lunch—Luca had seen no evidence of it when he’d returned. The only thing she consumed at work was that insipid-looking cranberry-flavoured white tea.
Then there were her clothes. It had occurred to him the previous afternoon that Polly was hiding herself. Today was no exception. While everyone else wore bathing suits or shorts and T-shirts, Polly was wrapped up in an over-sized, albeit colourful gypsy skirt and layers of tops. The only difference was that now her feet were bare. A lump lodged in his throat. They were small, pale and delicate, and his gaze lingered as he noted that today her neatly groomed nails were painted pastel pink. Dio! He definitely had a thing about her toes.
With difficulty, Luca forced himself to return to the matter at hand and face the worrisome possibility that Polly had issues about her body and, maybe, about food, too. He’d seen from first meeting her that she was absurdly slender. Too slender? When she had fallen into him and he’d been able to hold her close for far too short a time, there had been nothing of her! More pieces of the Polly jigsaw were slotting into place but he wasn’t close to seeing the whole picture, and he had ever more questions that needed answers.
This time last week, the furthest thing from his mind had been any kind of involvement with a woman. Then he’d met Polly. And now he couldn’t get her out of his head, or stop his body responding every time he was close to her, or heard her voice, or breathed in her lilac scent, or thought of her. Which seemed to be all the time. Something indefinable about Polly Carrick, his little gypsy, called to everything in him and, quite without knowing it, she was reawakening parts of him that had shut down when Elaine had died. And for the first time in nearly four years, something other than his children and, to a lesser extent, his job mattered to him.
‘Your girls look so cute.’ Lauren’s comment—as she helped herself to the rapidly dwindling stock of Polly’s homemade white chocolate and raspberry cookies—caught Luca’s attention. ‘They had the time of their lives with Foxy. I think the three of them wore themselves out!’
Dragging his gaze away from Polly and looking at Rosie and Toni, Luca’s heart swelled with love for them. They had started wilting part-way through their picnic lunch and were now curled up together, sound asleep. Foxy lay as close as possible, his head on his paws as he watched over them.
‘Make the most of the lull. I know from experience they’ll wake with batteries recharged and will be up and running again,’ he replied with a wry smile, making his companions chuckle.
As if drawn by some invisible magnetic pull, Luca’s gaze returned to Polly. Her lips were curved but her half-smile bore evidence of the same sadness he saw in her eyes whenever she watched his daughters. He’d witnessed it several times…enough to suspect that the awkwardness she displayed around young children was nothing to do with disliking them and everything to do with the shadows of pain and longing in her eyes when she saw them.
Much to his frustration, they’d been interrupted earlier and he hadn’t been able to get an answer from Polly about her reaction to the girls, but there was no doubt his question had rattled her. Had she wanted a baby and, for some reason, her husband had not? Was that why her marriage had failed?
‘Did you talk to Dragan about the puppies?’
Oliver’s query snapped Luca from his latest thoughts about Polly. ‘Yes, and he’s almost convinced me! When I foolishly promised the girls a dog once we had moved and settled in, I meant in a couple of years, not months, and I was thinking more of a rescue dog, older and trained already.’ He glanced again at his sleeping daughters. ‘Their grandparents’ dog died six months ago and they miss him. I’m just concerned whether a puppy is right for three-year-olds, and how we’d manage,’ he admitted, interested to hear his new friends’ views.
‘Rosie and Toni are nearly four, Luca, and they definitely have an instinct with animals. They’ve been gentle and sensible with Foxy,’ Gabriel pointed out.
‘I agree.’ Chloe leaned back against Oliver’s chest, smiling as her husband wrapped her in his arms, and Luca pushed away a flicker of envy at their closeness. ‘And as for any worries about managing, you’ll never have another chance like this one for full doggy support!’
‘How do you mean?’ Luca asked, taking another cookie before they all vanished.
‘I popped in to see the puppies yesterday—oh, they’re so cute! Melinda said that only two of the six are left without definite homes, and one of those is on reserve. So far none of the puppies are leaving Penhally!’ Chloe explained, green eyes sparkling with excitement.
Chuckling, Lauren took up the story. ‘Dragan and Melinda are keeping one puppy, Kate is taking one for Jem, and Gabriel and I are having one as a companion for Foxy. Having been reassured about introducing a puppy to a home with cats, Oliver and Chloe are having the other one. So if Nick’s niece Charlotte goes ahead and takes the one on reserve and you have the other one, we’ll all be together!’
‘We’re going to have a puppy crèche! And aside from helping each other in the early weeks, we also have Melinda on hand for veterinary advice, and she’s organising puppy training classes for all of us when the time comes,’ Chloe told him.
Lauren sighed, a wistful look on her face, her hands lightly massaging Gabriel’s scalp as he lay with his head in her lap. ‘Another week, two at the most, and we’ll know which pup is ours. I can’t wait for that!’
‘Or for mid-October when we can take them home,’ Chloe added.
‘Oh, Luca,’ Lauren murmured, adjusting her sunglasses and looking again at the girls curled up with Foxy. ‘You and the twins have to have one. And you live so close to the four of us it will be no bother to get together and help.’
‘Flatcoats are excellent with children.’ Oliver took a sip of his drink. ‘We always had animals at home when I was growing up and I think pets are really good for children. Aside from the fun and companionship, an animal teaches them to be unselfish, to care for another life and be responsible for its needs, and, inevitably, it helps them to understand loss.’
It made sense, Luca admitted. And, as Chloe had said, when might he get an opportunity again to consider a puppy with such an excellent background and with so much support on hand from friends? Luca vowed to go and see Melinda and Dragan—and the puppies—as soon as possible. Maybe Polly would go with him.
‘I was never allowed any pets when I was young,’ Chloe told them, and Luca caught an edge in the her voice, noting how Oliver cuddled her closer and Lauren reached out to touch
her hand. Clearly there was a story there.
‘Neither was I.’ Polly’s words were soft and shaky. ‘Although my mother had a dog when I was very young.’
Luca was immediately aware that everyone was looking at Polly in surprise. In the time he’d known her, Luca knew how rare it was for Polly to volunteer anything about her private self. A hush fell as everyone waited, willing her to continue. Luca shifted closer to Polly and, out of sight of the others, rested his hand on her back, trying to give silent support.
‘His name was Barney,’ Polly continued after a moment, her head turned away, her gaze focused, he was sure, not on the scene around them but on something far away in her past. ‘I loved him. He was my only friend. And I clung to him when my mother died. But—’
Her words snapped off and Luca sensed the group holding a collective breath. He believed Polly needed to begin trusting the people who cared about her and to release whatever was bottled up inside. Before he could prompt her, Chloe, who was sitting on her other side, did it for him.
‘What happened, Polly?’ she asked gently, handing over a tissue, her smile understanding.
‘My father never liked Barney—he hated anything that took attention away from him or that someone might like more than him.’
Concerned only for Polly, and uncaring if any of the others noticed, Luca took her hand and linked their fingers, trying to convey his understanding and encouragement.
‘Of dubious parentage, Barney was nothing much to look at, but he was loyal and loving and just the friend I needed. He never left my side at home. About a week after my mother died, I was brought home from nursery school to find that Barney had gone.’ Polly looked pale and fragile and, while her voice was little more than a whisper, it was laden with remembered pain, confusion and distress. ‘I cried and cried, unable to understand. My father just laughed. Then he told me he’d disposed of Barney. I didn’t understand, just that the friend I needed was gone and my father had taken pleasure in the fact that I was upset and had lost something important to me. I never found out if Barney had been put to sleep or given away to a new home.’
As a shocked stillness fell over the group, Luca’s fingers instinctively tightened on Polly’s and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, aching for the child she had been. Her father’s deliberate cruelty was inexcusable enough, but it was his apparent enjoyment of it that appalled Luca and made him as angry as hell. As he was struggling with his increasing awareness of her and the growing desire to hold and comfort her, to protect her, he had another disturbing realisation. The sickening possibility that this could be but one example of her father’s cruelty. She had been left alone with the man from the age of four. Just what had Polly’s childhood really been like?
He didn’t have long to ponder on the question of Polly’s past as the conversation moved on to the experiences others had had with animals, and then Lauren turned back to him, a mischievous glint in her grey eyes.
‘You wait, Luca. Two little girls who love animals…it’ll be ponies next!’ she teased him.
‘They’re way ahead of you, Lauren,’ he countered with a smile. ‘The pleas for riding lessons have already started.’
He noted Lauren’s gaze flick to Polly. ‘Didn’t you ride at one time, Polly? I seem to remember you spent a lot of time at the Somers’ stables.’
‘Um, yes.’ Still holding Polly’s hand, Luca not only felt the tightening of her fingers around his but also sensed the growing tension within her, and his thumb strayed to the inside of her wrist, picking up the quickening beat of her pulse. ‘I went up there sometimes and helped out with chores in exchange for a ride.’
She’d told them the bare facts but Luca was convinced by her tone and the responses he had detected from her that the stables had been important to her. ‘Have you ridden since, Polly?’ he asked, seeing myriad emotions reflected in her eyes as she turned her head and met his gaze.
‘On and off.’ She bit her lip, a tinge of pink staining her cheeks in evidence of some emotional discomfort. ‘But not in the last few years.’
‘You’ll have to visit the stables when you have time, Polly. I’m sure Georgie would love to see you,’ Lauren suggested, smiling down at Gabriel.
‘Georgie’s still there?’
Luca heard surprise, curiosity, pleasure and a touch of anxiety in Polly’s reply. Again her fingers clung to his, although he wasn’t sure if she was even aware of it as she sat with a far-away look on her face.
‘Very much so! Georgie’s in charge there now her parents have retired,’ Lauren informed her in response to Polly’s question.
‘Georgie got married eighteen months ago. Her husband is a Romany,’ Chloe added, with obvious affection. ‘He’s an incredible horseman and really lovely.’
‘Polly, why don’t you take Luca and the girls out to the stables and show them around? Georgie is the perfect person to give the twins lessons,’ Lauren suggested, and Luca wanted to hug her for giving him an excuse to spend more time with Polly.
The woman in question was clearly startled by the suggestion if her ‘Oh!’ was any guide.
‘I’d like that very much, Polly.’ Luca met her blue gaze and pressed home his advantage. ‘And the girls would be so thrilled.’
‘Perhaps we can arrange something, then,’ she murmured.
Feeling a twinge of guilt for tricking her into the situation, Luca brushed a soothing caress across her wrist over the point where her pulse beat a rapid tattoo. ‘Thank you, zingarella.’
It was wonderful to just be. Kate inhaled a deep breath of clean air, content to sit enjoying the late September sunshine and the chrysanthemums, dahlias and other flowers that continued to give a splash of bright colour as summer slid languorously towards autumn. Since the end of her course of radiotherapy last Friday, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and, although still tired and uncharacteristically emotional, she felt relieved, more relaxed and, above all, free.
Kate patted the space beside her on the rustic bench in the rear garden of her cottage and beckoned Polly to join her. She had indulged in some uncharacteristic but gentle meddling since July, which she excused because she wanted Polly to be happy. Focused on battling breast cancer and unable to give Polly the support she deserved, Kate had felt justified in asking Oliver, Chloe, Gabriel and Lauren to watch over Polly, thankful when the friendships had grown naturally. Luca’s recent arrival was an unexpected bonus and one Kate had shamelessly exploited when she had noticed the attraction between Polly and the new Italian doctor.
‘How was the beach picnic on Sunday?’ she asked, knowing the subjects of the puppies and the riding stables had been raised.
‘It was good—everyone seemed to have fun.’
Kate glanced at Polly’s finely etched profile. ‘Including you?’
‘Yes. I didn’t think I would, but I did. I even made some muffins and cookies as my contribution to the food,’ she added, her smile tinged with sadness. ‘They’re the only two recipes of my mother’s I was able to salvage.’
Kate suppressed a shiver as she thought of all Polly had been through after Yvonne had died, leaving her alone from the age of four with Reg Searle. The man didn’t deserve to be called Polly’s father. It made Kate furiously angry but also weighed down with guilt because, despite all her efforts, she hadn’t been able to do anything to get Polly away from the beastly man. Pushing the disturbing thoughts away, she concentrated on Polly and the here and now.
‘And did you eat anything?’ she asked softly, already knowing the answer.
Betraying colour warmed Polly’s cheeks. ‘I couldn’t, Kate. But no one noticed.’
Kate didn’t have the heart to tell her that both Luca and Oliver had been very aware that Polly had issues with food. A frown creased Kate’s brow as she remembered when her beloved goddaughter had been eleven and had shown the first signs of anorexia, the disorder she would struggle with throughout her early teens. Already tiny for her age, she had s
hrunk before Kate’s eyes. Gertrude Stanbury, then headmistress at Penhally High, had been concerned, too. They had tried hard to help but with Reg denying them access to Polly, and generally being obstructive, it hadn’t been easy.
Polly’s interest in ponies had done much to help her back then and Kate hoped revisiting the riding stables would enable Polly to deal with some of the issues from the past. Especially if Luca was with her in support. That the twins wanted riding lessons was a stroke of good fortune and provided another opportunity for Polly and Luca to be together. But that was for the future. For now her thoughts returned to the past.
By the time Polly had left Penhally, determined to escape Reg’s control and to go to medical school, she had been physically well again. There had been a blip, a risk of her slipping back into the grips of anorexia again, when things had gone wrong in her marriage and with the events surrounding her losing her baby. Again she had pulled through and, while always svelte, she was healthy. Or so Kate had thought.
‘Is there a problem here, Polly?’ she asked now, voicing her concern, wishing once again that things had been different and she had been able to give Polly more time and support since her arrival.
‘No.’ Sapphire-blue eyes looked at her and Kate saw the truth in them. ‘I was at risk of a relapse four years ago, but the counselling I had after losing the baby also helped get the anorexia back under control before it took hold again. Things have been much better, except…’
Kate slipped an arm around Polly’s shoulders. ‘Except?’
‘I know it’s stupid, but I still find it a struggle to eat in front of other people.’
‘You eat in front of me,’ Kate reminded her.
Polly’s smile was sad. ‘You know me. You’ve seen me at my worst and been there for me. Even now, all these years on, it’s hard to ignore the voice in my head that tells me people are watching what I eat and judging me—and that I don’t deserve to enjoy anything or to have nice things.’
‘Oh, Polly,’ Tears stung Kate’s eyes as she hugged this special young woman.
Brides of Penhally Bay - Vol 4 Page 57
