The point of all this? Put your ass in the chair and write dammit.
The 5-Book Rule
Every writer does research, no matter what it is that you’re writing. Research can be the lifeblood of what you’re writing, and it can also be the marvelously distracting shiny object that prevents you from ever finishing a book.
When you first begin writing your book, you may want to do what I do, and go to an actual brick-and-mortar bookstore and see what other books have been written in your area. I almost never write something unless there’s already a "Dummies" guide (It’s a really good indicator that people want information on what you’re writing about, and Burger King follows this same tactic by building a store where ever McDonald’s has one.), so I start by purchasing that. Then I find 4 other books to buy, and I carry them all home to stack on my research shelf.
I read, make my notes, think about where I want to do things differently, and eventually I will use these 5 books as I’m writing — either to:
push me forward — by reminding me of yet another area I need to cover.
help me steer clear of pitfalls — by making me think, yuk, they suck at explaining factor x, y, or z.
energize my work (i.e., by reminding me that I can do just as well as someone else did, or better!).
The 5-book rule can help you do your basic research without getting you bogged down in too much information.
And once you’re off and writing, you'll need this next rule, which is the 5-Google rule...
The 5-Google Rule
The 5-Google rule is here to keep you on track and get you finished. Every time you hit a research bump and need to look something up, you get up to 5 Googles, no more. You can use fewer than this, but most of the time, I use all 5 at once. I need to know some cocktail recipes, so I enter a search and open 5 results tabs. I browse, collect the information I need, and move on.
I hear you, I hear you. You already want to break this rule. Just call me The Amazing Mumford, for I shall now read your mind:
“But what if I know nothing about a particular subject?”
The rule still stands. Google any particular item 5 times, write what you can, and you can come back to it later, after you’ve finished your first draft. When this happens to me I make a note of it or highlight that particular section and clear it up later.
“But when I Googled it 5 times, I found something else important that I need to research.”
Each particular item counts as a separate 5G item. If you're researching whiskey, and you suddenly learn that Scotch is a subset of all whiskey, and now you’ve decided you need to write about Scotch instead, you get a fresh 5 Gs. And possibly a drink!
“Can I go off the first page of Google results?”
Sure. But unless you’ve entered less than helpful search terms, I’m guessing your best 5G results will be on the first (or, okay, second) pages of search results. But you might not have entered good search terms. You’ll need to work on that.
“Hah! You essentially just admitted that I might need to re-Google.”
I did, and you can, but only if you see the results and realize that you need to change your search terms, you badass rule-breaker, you.
“But what if I need really in-depth information across a broad field?”
Then you need to break that down into distinctive bits. And that’s probably going to happen at the beginning of your project, rather than toward the end. The 5G rule is really about getting you some granular information on very specific items, rather than helping you choose subject matter or do the first level of information-gathering.
Writer's Block: The Thing, The Myth, The Legend
Ah, writer’s block. It’s the assy excuse that writers can use when they actually want sympathy. It’s still an assy excuse, but we’ve all been there, and it sucks hard, and we all know it. (We invented that word, assy. You like it, don’t you?)
In some cases, writer’s block is just a symptom of not being able to focus. If you think that might be your problem, try some of these ideas that I gleaned from my Twitter friends when I was in the midst of a particularly hairy bout of writer’s block a few years ago:
Write the crap until the good stuff comes out. The point is that when you look at it later, some of it won’t be crap. Let it not matter for now. Just write.
Write with no plan whatsoever and see what happens.
Read a book on the writing process or read a writer’s blog.
Just start writing. About anything. Think of the wildest idea for a scene and write it.
Go for a walk.
Think of someone in your life that needs to be tortured and write him or her into your book.
Don’t write the first paragraph. Start with the second.
Get a new notebook and write everything about the new story or idea in it.
Try bouncing between two different books or ideas.
Writer’s block can also be a symptom pointing to something wrong with the book you’re working on. This one can be harder to pinpoint. You may have to have someone help you out. In a lot of cases, I think non-writer readers are better for critiquing, but in a case where you think you might be having a mechanical problem with your book, you’re probably going to need another writer to take a look at it for you.
I once stopped writing a book because my heroine didn’t have a good enough reason to do what she was doing. Somewhere in my psyche, I probably knew that’s why I stopped, but it took my critique partner gently nudging me to work on it before I figured out that it was the real reason for my writer’s block.
In this case, writer’s block serves a great purpose because it tells you something’s wrong and you need to fix it before you can move on.
Now you all know how we feel about “inspiration” and “muses,” and all that bullshit, but sometimes you just can’t figure out why the hell you can’t write, and nothing you do can seem to shake you back into the right frame of mind. In situations like these, I am not above a little productive goofing off…
Goofing Off The Right Way
Sometimes you just need to do something besides write. Fiction writers call this “filling the well.” The metaphor is that you are always drawing on your well of life experiences in order to write. But how are you going to write about life experiences when you’re not experiencing life?
From time to time, you have to get out of your writer’s cave and do something wild and crazy. Go on a pub crawl. Take a zipline tour. Talk to your friends. Make new friends. See a movie or a show. Hell, eat at a new restaurant. Just do something.
There are other good reasons to goof off, too. Lots of fiction writers tell me that it takes them months of “goofing off” to get to the point where they’re ready to write the book. Their “goofing off” might include stuff like researching titles in the Regency era, or making a collage to represent each of the main characters, or finding the perfect actor to stand in for a character visually, or researching how to become a ski instructor because that’s what your main character does. If you’re in non-fiction, it’s all-too-easy to research, research, research until your little Googling fingers are sore from the effort.
One of my favorite goof-offs is designing a cover for the books I haven’t even written yet. Somehow, when I have an idea and a cover, it makes it seem more real, and I have a clearer path of where I want the book to go. It feels indulgent and a little bit like I’m wasting time, but it’s part of my process, and it actually does help.
You can also spend a lot of time goofing off with “marketing” stuff. This is the kind of shit I can get lost in for days: email lists, Twitter accounts, social media strategy, you name it and I love it. It’s rewarding on a lot of levels, and helps your sales, too. Still goofing off, though, because it’s not writing.
So don’t be afraid to goof off a little. All work and no play, yadda yadda… (And I bet Stephen King did his share of goofing off, too. But let’s try to keep it between the ditches and not do the whole tortur
ed-writer-on-a-drinking-binge thing, okay?)
Now here’s my big warning: You can easily spend all your time goofing off because it’s fun. And important, too. But the most important thing will always be the writing. It will always be the story or the message or the content. Don’t lose sight of that.
A Final Word, If You Skipped to Here: Top 5 Ways to FINISH YOUR BOOK, Dammit
We’ve had our say, but in the end, there are a few pointers that come repeatedly to the top for both of us, and we think they may be true for you, too.
1. Create a space and time to write. Fight for it, if necessary.
It should be as free of demands as possible. (Not in the den, after your kids are home from school.)
2. Set clear goals.
Like, "Today I will complete 2,000 words." Or, "I will write 500 words by midnight."
3. Turn off Facebook and email.
And any other distracting ping-y things, like cell phones.
4. Use a full-screen page and a progress bar or word counter.
Some of our favorite writing tools, Scrivener and Write or Die, both have these. You don’t want to have to click through menus to get to word counts, either.
5. Be accountable to someone for your goals.
This might be a spouse, writing partner, or writing group. They should be willing to ask for evidence that you’ve filled your word buckets.
CHAPTER TWELVE
EXACTLY How We Wrote This Book (In 10 Easy Steps, with Bagels, Dirty Limericks, and Martinis)
The two of us had known each other for years and — even though we lived in the same area and chatted online in various places — we’d never actually met. But we intended to, we just kept having misses.
We would both plan to attend a particular event, but either one of us was unable to make it, or we never found each other in the crowd, or we attended and met each other only in alternate universes.
Finally something good and terrible and good happened.
Lisa decided to quit the corporate world and become a full-time freelance writer (that was good), and Sonja was, um... unexpectedly downsized (that was terrible) and decided to become a full-time freelance writer (that was good).
We agreed it was fate. Since our schedules were now our own, the universe (this one) wanted us to eat bagels together. And so we did.
Lisa off-handedly mentioned, with a mouth full of cream cheese, something about writing a book together. But we talked about a ton of stuff, much of it far more exciting. Like, whiskey-pissing unicorns, probably.
But Sonja called Lisa up a month or two later, and it seemed so obvious and perfect that we did the following things:
1. We agreed to talk about writing a book together.
Okay, it was just one thing. But we set up a Skype call and did it. During that first call, we considered what kind of book we should write together. Sonja normally writes romance novels and runs Pintester. Lisa normally writes about dating, relationships and boxing. Looked like we only had one thing in common, in addition to carb cravings and a penchant for adult beverages. You’ll never guess what it was. Noooo, not our secret collections of anatomically correct nude garden gnomes...
2. We decided that the one thing we had in common was writing.
So why not write a book about writing? Or 3? So far, we were about 2 hours in (including the bagels), and everything was peachy. We set two goals:
3. We agreed to write the table of contents for our first book.
4. We would build a shared Google Site to hold the content.
We gave ourselves a week to do these things and scheduled a Skype to follow up.
Time invested so far: 2 hours, including bagels.
At our third Skype meeting a few questions started coming up about who would write which part, what kind of bonus materials we could give away, how we would get the word out, etc., but rather than trying to solve everything at once, we simply shlocked those questions, thoughts, and ideas into an extra page in the Google Site and got to the good stuff: writing the book.
5. We agreed to use our outline and each write 3k words per week until the book was finished.
The rule about who would write what was “whoever gets to it first.” Because we were both writing in the same Google Site, we could see who was writing in which section. Also Sonja used green.
Three weeks later, boom. We had made it all the way through the outline. Even we were a little shocked at how easy it had been
The interesting thing about this part was that our motto quickly became, “Write, dammit,” because we were so aware of how easy it was to just talk, dammit. “Talk, dammit,” was like, “Eat bagels, dammit,” and, “Drink martinis, dammit.” Second fucking nature!
Speaking of “Write, dammit,” here's a juicy tidbit you might enjoy. Our first idea about a logo for our Badass Writing site was (you’re gonna love this) a fat nekkid angel, standing on a banner that said, “Write, dammit.” Yeah. The angel made no sense, but he was our first. You always remember your first, no matter how awful it was.
Later Lisa took a second shot at it and came up with the much simpler knee to nuts icon. It was rude, yes, but we made it very teensy. We still think it will bring across the “Write, dammit” message with a wee bit more force. Heh.
We Skyped again at the end of those three weeks and decided to take a week to:
6. Fill in any missing details (this section was one), then
7. Give it a week to “breathe” before editing, and
8. Work on a couple of different books for a while.
So how long did it take us to write our 3k words each week? People ask this question all the time, so if you missed it earlier in the book, here's the gist of how long it takes to write a thousand words:
Blazing fast: You can consistently write 1k words/1 hour
Medium fast: You can consistently write 1k words/2 hours
Normal but slow: You typically write 1k words/3-4 hours
We both generally fall in the medium fast category, with occasional bursts of blazing fast. So we each spent less than 6 hours a week writing to get our 3k words. And of course we spent an hour on video Skype each week chatting about each other’s interior decor and... whatever it was we chatted about. Essential things, you can be sure.
Time invested during this period: 7 hours a week (each), for 3 weeks
Speaking of essential things, the dirty limericks started populating our Skype chat boxes because Sonja was rehearsing for a pirate play while we were writing these books. (We weren’t actually composing them, jeez, we don’t have time for that shit. We were just passing them back and forth like a bottle of hooch. Like friends do.) Here’s the first — now legendary — dirty limerick:
A lighthouse keeper called Crighton
Took to seeing a lady from Brighton.
But ships ran aground,
And sailors were drowned,
As she wouldn’t have sex with the light on.
Yes, this is a tame one. The tamest we’ve ever found, actually. It probably sets some sort of low-ass bar for “dirty” limericks. That’s why we're sharing only this one and then inviting you to do your own Googling for others you particularly enjoy.
Okay, just one more:
A pirate, history relates,
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.
Hah! We are some serious motherfucking book-writers, eh? Anyway, during our next limerick-spiked Skype (ooo, tongue twister!), we decided we were ready to:
9. Make edits and create the assignments.
We took some time here to rework the outline a bit and rearrange a few sections. We also added the assignments to the chapters, and fleshed out the fleshing out section, hah. Seriously folks, put a few zombies or frankenmonsters in your books. It lifts the mood. Probably good for cellulite as well.
Time invested during this period: 4 hours
(each)
We were now hip-deep in the next two books, so we didn’t pay much more attention to this particular book until we knew we were ready for the final push. Once we got back around to it, we knew exactly what we needed to get done:
10. Cover creation, formatting, export, and upload!!
Yeah, that’s a lot to cram into a single line item, but isn’t 10 such a nice round number? The 10 Things We Did To Write Our First Book Together. Ahhh.
Lisa took on the cover art and banged out all three of the first books’ covers in one amazing week. She also made headers and other artwork for our website and Facebook page. (You could conceivably skip the website and/or Facebook page bits, and outsource your cover if you were so inclined. Both of us know how to build sites, and Lisa has done design work for years, so it wasn't such a big deal for us.)
Sonja took on formatting, which involved wrestling everything into Scrivener and playing with the compile feature for hours. (Don’t let her fool you. She loves that shit.)
Bagels, Dirty Limericks, and Martinis: The Badass Guide to Writing Your First Book (Badass Writing) Page 8
