by Kasey Belle
Nikki did the only thing she could do, she agreed. She sat back on her heels and he pushed himself off the couch. He held out a hand to help her up. She took it immediately praying it wouldn’t be the last time he held her hand in his.
His eyes roamed over her face as if committing it to memory then he smiled tenderly. “I love you, Nicolette.” Jim pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Lock up behind me.”
Chapter 14
Jim’s jaw cracked as he yawned… again. He stretched and popped his neck. Damn, he was exhausted. He hadn’t slept a wink last night. His stomach was a tangled knot and his mind a jumbled mess. On top of that, he felt like a first-class bastard. Nikki had tried to hide her fear, but he saw it. She’d valiantly blinked her tears away when he kissed her goodbye, and he’d wondered all night if she ever let them fall. Leaving had been the right thing to do, but it still hurt them both. He needed time to make sense of everything, which turned out to be a fruitless endeavor. Which pissed him off and made him feel even worse about himself. He wanted to kick his own ass because he hadn’t made a goddamned decision on their future.
He huffed a breath and shook his head. A Fox. The love of his life was a fucking fox. And watching her turn into one? Hell don’t get him started on how freaky that was. He’d never get that sound out of his head. Did it hurt when she turned? Changed? Whatever you called it.
Jim used his shirtsleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow then tossed another shovel full of dirty hay and horse shit into the wheelbarrow. Usually one of their part-time guys like Max handled mucking out the few used stalls in the barn, but the mundane, repetitive task freed space in his mind as he tried to wrap his head around the secrets Nikki revealed to him last night. But, how did someone do that? How did one adjust to their reality changing in the blink of an eye? How did you transition from believing the world was one type of place to your fucking wrong, nothing is as it seemed? The only thing he was still sure of was that he loved her and Casey. That had to count for something, right?
He still didn’t have any answers hours later when Koda found him leaning against the paddock fence that morning.
“So,” Koda said mimicking his pose. “You want to talk about what’s put those bags under your eyes and that constipated expression on your face?” Koda snickered at his juvenile choice of words.
Jim turned his head and cocked an eyebrow. “Wolf shifter, huh?” He pinned Koda with his unwavering gaze daring him to deny it.
Koda winced. “Nikki told you.”
Jim grunted. “You think? It certainly isn’t something I’d come up with on my own. Question is, why didn’t you?”
“It’s not a subject we normally go around discussing with people.”
“I’m not just people, Koda.” He blew out an exasperated breath. “I’m your friend. Didn’t you think you could trust me?” He tried not to let it bother him and told himself it was Koda’s secret to share or not, but his internal pep-talk failed.
“It had nothing to do with trust. We don’t advertise what we are to humans. It’s too great a risk. Can you imagine the fear and panic that would cause?”
“Not to mention what the government would do.” Jim nodded. “I get it. I want you to know I would never say anything.”
“I know.”
“Ella knows right?” Koda nodded. “How did she handle it?”
“Bad.” Koda snorted as if that were an understatement. “You remember her accident.”
“She took it so badly she wrecked her car?” Holy crap. Ella had lied about her accident. Not that Jim blamed her.
“No.” Koda rolled his eyes. “A dog really did run out in front of her vehicle,” he said as if reading Jim’s mind. “However, it’s my fault she was on the road in the first place. She found out about me. We had a discussion. I was kind of an ass toward her.”
Jim knew Koda’s bullet-pointed highlight of the events were completely understated. He based that fact on how well he knew Koda before Ella plus the little innuendos she dropped when he acted like a doofus. Jim would have given anything to have been a fly on the wall when that shit went down. “You don’t say? Shocking,” he said dryly.
Koda shoved him. “Hey. Trying to be a friend here, but if you don’t want my help…” He let his words fall away and with a sniff of superiority stuck his nose in the air.
Jim clutched his belly and laughed at Koda’s display of snobbery. “Damn, man. I really like this side of you.” Koda’s expression cracked, and he grinned. With a mocking exaggerated bow, Jim asked, “What advice do you have for me, wolf boy?”
“That’s Mr. Wolf Boy to you and it’s not so much advice as it is a question.”
Jim turned and leaned his shoulder against the railing giving Koda his full attention. “What do you want to know?”
“Can you deny Nikki and walk away from her? From both of them?” He held up his and when Jim opened his mouth. “You and Nikki are mates, but you’re also human. You have a choice whether to accept the mating or not.”
“That implies she doesn’t.”
Koda looked at him with a mixture of resignation and sadness. “Not an implication. A fact. Nikki does not have a choice. That’s how it is with shifters when we find our mate. You’re it, man. There will never be another for her.”
“So…” Jim ran his fingers through his hair. “If I turn her away―”
“You aren’t replaceable. You’ll always be her mate and she’ll remain faithful to you regardless whether you make it official or not.” Koda patted his shoulder. “I’m not telling you this to guilt you into a decision one way or the other. I know this is a lot to take in, and you must do what is best for you and your future. Did the love you felt for Nikki die when you found out what she was?” Jim shook his head without hesitation. “Then what you need to ask yourself is, can you walk away? Do you want to? Can see a future without Nikki and Casey in it?”
Koda’s words struck a chord and had him thinking back to a time when Jim thought his life was over. He was in the middle of an epic pity party to end all pity parties after the last ride that killed Jim’s rodeo career, when his dad sat him down and had a come to Jesus meeting with him. He told Jim that every man was tested at least once in his life. But, if you lived a life full of hard work and chasing impossible dreams, your mettle was tested more often than not. That’s when a man had to decide if he was going to forget who he was and roll over and quit just because life didn’t turn out how he envisioned it would.
Jim wasn’t a quitter then, and he wasn’t one now. The thought of Nicolette alone for the rest of her life because he chose the coward’s way out didn’t sit well with him. In fact, picturing her lonely future made him want to throw up.
Thanks to Koda’s calm presence and patient, candid conversation Jim felt more clearheaded. Jim inhaled then let it out slowly as calm washed over him. Meeting and falling in love with Nicolette―a freaking fox shifter―certainly wasn’t what he envisioned in a wife. Did it really matter that Nikki was a little different? In the grand scheme of things, no it didn’t. When he thought about it in a broader sense being a fox was just another part of what made Nicolette who she was, like her smile or the color of her skin. She was the same person she was yesterday before he knew her secret. She was still the same woman he fell in love with. She just happened to be a little furrier.
He couldn’t imagine his life without Nicolette and Casey in it. He wanted the whole package. Marriage. A home. More siblings for Casey. “No, I can’t. I want it all… with her.”
Koda’s eyes held pride as he smiled. “Then you have your decision. Maybe you should go share it with your mate? Put you both out of your misery.”
Jim looked down at his clothes and grimaced. “I’m not really fit for polite company.”
“Trust me when I say your mate won’t mind. Hell, she won’t even notice you smell like horse shit.”
Jim walked up the wood steps second guessing his decision to head straight to Nikki’s. He should have at least
changed his shirt. Why the hell had he taken Koda’s word that it didn’t matter? Because he couldn’t stand leaving his woman hanging that’s why. He’d let her know he still loved her, invite her to dinner so they could talk, then remove his filthy ass from her presence. Yep. Good plan, Jim. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans then knocked on Nikki’s front door.
He wondered if she’d heard him coming because she answered almost immediately. She eyed him warily, but he didn’t miss the flicker of hope in her eyes. “You came back.”
“I said I would.” Jim cleared his throat. “I came over to see if you’d have dinner with me tonight.”
A bright smile filled her face. “You have great timing. Koda just called and asked if he and Ella could pick Casey up from school and take her out for pizza. Ella even asked if she could spend the night at their place.”
Damn. He loved those two. “Then we shouldn’t waste the opportunity. It’s a good night for us to go out.”
“You’re okay with me being a―”
“Fox?” Jim nodded. “I am. I’m sorry I was weird about it yesterday. It was a lot of information to process all at once. I was a little freaked out.”
“That’s okay. The only person I’ve ever revealed my secret to was Betsy. I hate to admit I didn’t handle it any better then, either.” Nikki gave a self-deprecating laugh and shrugged. “Diplomacy has never been my strong suit.”
“You don’t say,” he teased. “You make a beautiful fox.”
“Thank you.”
“And you’re okay with the mate for life situation too?” Nikki’s face flamed. She held up a hand. “Damn. I suck at this. Don’t answer that. I’m not pressuring you for a decision. As long as you still want me, I’ll wait for the rest.”
“I told you I loved you. That hasn’t changed, neither has my wanting you.” He went to reach for her but stopped himself. Damn it. He wanted to gather her in his arms and never let go, but he was fucking filthy. Shit. He should have cleaned up first. “About that dinner?”
She opened the door wider and stepped back beckoning him inside. Even though he should, Jim couldn’t resist the invitation. “We don’t have to go out. I have plenty of food here. Why don’t I fix us something?”
When she closed the door behind him he once again glanced down at his clothes. His lip curled in disgust. No way could he sit at the table or anywhere like this.
Chapter 15
Jim’s lip curled in disgust as he looked down at his stained clothes. “I need to run home and take a shower. I’m sweaty, filthy, and smell like horse.”
Nikki had to admit he was quite gross, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. He was here, and she didn’t want him to leave. “I have a shower,” Nikki blurted then cringed.
“Duh! Captain Obvious. Most homes not located is a third-world country have one of those, Nik.”
“Don’t mock me.”
Jim raised his eyebrows and lips twitched as he fought a smile. “Wow, really? They’re amazing, aren’t they?”
She shot him a baleful look. “I meant you can use mine.”
Nikki stifled a moan at the thought of him naked and soapy in her shower. I could join you. If you wanted me to. She hadn’t realized she said those words out loud until Jim’s mouth dropped open and he stared at her dumbfounded. She wanted the floor to open and swallow her. Not only had she voiced her horny thoughts, but she did so with the finesse of a bad porn actress. She may as well of said: Oh, hello big strong cowboy. The shower faucet is leaking, maybe you could inspect it. Giggle. Giggle. Push out her chest. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. That was by far the sexiest and best offer I’ve ever received in my life.” Thank fuck he wasn’t privy to her inner dialogue. He’d totally change his mind and laugh his ass right out her front door. “Were you serious?”
It had been pure fantasy, but now that she thought about it. Yes, she was. Nikki nodded.
“I don’t plan to turn you down.”
Nikki fought the urge to do a happy dance in the middle of the living room.
Jim rubbed his hands together. “I’ve had fantasies.”
Her breath caught. Fantasies? He had fantasies, too? Oh, she wanted to know them all. “Really? About me?”
“Who else would I have them about?” He sent her a lascivious grin before he began to undress right where he stood. Her eyes followed his movements as he revealed every inch of his sun-kissed skin. Man, she thought Ryan Reynolds’ abs were lickable. The sexy actor had nothing on her mate. Her eyes moved lower and she couldn’t help but lick her lips. His hard cock stood at attention. It was long, thick, with a slight curve.
“Woman,” he growled.
Her eyes shot to his.
“Stop looking at it like that.” His lips twitched as he fought to keep his expression stern. “Shower. Now.”
He turned and headed down the hall. She sighed happily and followed him. Enjoying the show as his muscles flexed with each step. He had the best ass she’d ever seen on a man. Holy shit. Like Fox, she wanted to take a bite out of his tushy. Jim was a fine man. Pure perfection as far as she was concerned.
He turned when she entered the bathroom. “You’re a little overdressed don’t you think?”
She didn’t hesitate. Her heart hammered in her chest and blood zinged through her veins. Nikki was pretty sure she broke some kind of record in the getting naked department. Within the blink of an eye she stood bare before him. His blue-green eyes turned deep, dark green with arousal. Shivering, when he gave her body a long look up and down.
He pulled the shower door open and gestured for her to go first. She stepped in and leaned against the cool tiles allowing him to take advantage of the water. He washed quickly, yet efficiently, then he switched places with her. Nikki closed her eyes and let the warm spray wet her hair. His hands, slick with soap, began to explore her body, and she fell under his spell. With his hands on her, she couldn’t think about anything else but him. There was no loss. No sorrow. No worries about triggers or episodes. It seemed with him, there was nothing but gentleness, love, and the ability to let go and feel.
He turned her to face the water. He pressed his front to her back. She leaned into him. Fingers rolled and tugged her nipples, over and over in a slow, sensual rhythm. “You like that, baby?”
“Mmm” Was all she managed.
Still rolling and tugging, Jim ran his other hand down to her belly to the juncture of her thighs. He found her clit, which was swollen and ready.
“Just an appetizer before the main course,” he murmured before nibbling her ear.
Wait. What? What was he saying? She tried to make her mouth work but couldn’t. He’d stolen her ability to speak. He brushed his middle finger over her clit, building the pleasure bit by bit until she was aching for release. Pleasure sucked her under as she gasped. Nikki’s orgasm roared through her body as her back bowed. She slumped against Jim, barely registering movement as he turned off the water.
Warm and tingly all over but nowhere near sated, she dried off while watching the water roll down his body in rivulets over the hard-packed muscle. She licked her lips in anticipation. She couldn’t wait to taste every inch of him.
“What’s got you looking so smug?” He snagged her hand as she sashayed past completely naked.
“You, because all that yumminess is mine.” She tossed a wink over her shoulder as they entered her bedroom.
He wrapped her in his arms. “Why thank you ma’am. You’re not so bad yourself, my foxy lady.”
She giggle-snorted. “Oh my god. Please, just… no.”
“What?” He asked with a wide-eyed innocent expression. “You’re a lady, a fox, and your last name is Hendrix. You do the math.” He shrugged looking all kinds of adorable.
“Really? That’s what you are going with?” She held up her hand to stop his rebuttal. “I will concede the song kicks ass. However, when spoken, the endearment foxy lady sounds like a line from a cheesy 70’s porn or something:
“Have you ever seen cheesy 70’s porn?” He asked dryly.
“No. But, I imagine it’s full of foxy this and foxy that.”
He laughed then rolled his eyes. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re adorkable?”
“No.” She poked her lip out in a perfect pout. “Is that a bad thing?” She fluttered her lashes.
He dropped a little kiss on the tip of her nose. “Nope. It’s a perfect thing. Nobody has ever made me smile or laugh the way you do. I love that you’re quirky and a bit of a nerd.”
****
Jim looked at her, bathed in the soft light from the lamp, dark hair wet fell in thick wavy curls. Her skin was still pink from the hot water. Her body was mouthwateringly beautiful but what was most alluring was her comfort with her shape and size. She didn’t try to hide any part of herself. She owned her nakedness like she owned his heart.
He glanced at their surroundings. Nicolette’s room was a lot like her. Feminine and sexy, but not fussy. Deep purple and grey bedding accented by cream colored walls. No frilly or flowery stuff anywhere, only clean lines and warmth. Black and white photographs hung framed on the wall, some were of landscapes. Louisiana if he wasn’t mistaken. Others were of her and various people, some in uniform, some not. He noticed Casey in a few and a woman he assumed was Casey’s mother, Betsy. In the corner between the two windows sat a slate grey, overstuffed chair, flanked by a low table with a lamp and an e-reader. He took a deep breath. The space smelled like her.
“Nicolette what perfume do you wear?” he asked her as he nuzzled her neck, rubbing his naked body against hers. “It makes my mouth water.”
“It’s not perfume. I don’t wear any. What your smelling is a mate’s scent. It’s one way we identify each other. What do I smell like to you?”
“Coconuts. Vanilla. Some type of flower. Hibiscus, maybe,” he responded as he continued walking her backwards toward the bed. “Do I have a mate’s scent?”
