by Todd, E. L.
She met his gaze. “What does that mean?”
“You’re working too much. Take less hours at the aquarium.”
“I’m doing research. I can’t just do that.”
“Then drop a class.”
“No,” she said. “I won’t graduate on time.”
“Drop your ecology minor,” he said. “You really don’t need it.”
“Coen, I’m fine.”
He glared at her. “You work all day, and when you come home, you work more. You barely get enough sleep and you’re so stressed that you barely eat.”
“Well, I can’t spend all my time with you. I’m an adult with responsibilities.”
“That has nothing to do this,” he snapped. “I’m concerned for your health.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“No,” he said. “I’m your husband and I know you’re pushing it too far. You don’t have time for yourself to relax. Quit your job for the semester. I make enough money as a personal trainer. I can support both of us for the time being.”
“Coen, you’re making this into a bigger deal.”
He pushed his plate away. “I’m not going to change my mind about this. Life was meant to be enjoyed, not pissed away. You don’t even have time to enjoy the sunrise or dinner in the evenings. And your health is scaring me. How can someone survive off a salad for lunch and grilled vegetables for dinner?”
“If I was hungry, I’d eat more.”
Coen sighed. “We aren’t arguing about this. I’ll talk to my uncle tomorrow.”
Her eyes widened in anger. “Coen! I said I was fine. Don’t interfere with my work. I want my name on his paper. I need this for graduate school.”
He stood up and leaned over the table. “Then drop a class.”
“Stop telling me what to do.”
“Too bad,” he said. “I respect your wishes but you’re killing yourself right now. When was the last time you slept in?”
Sydney left the table and tossed her bowl in the sink. It broke when it collided with the tile. She was too angry to care. She marched to their bedroom then slammed the door, taking out her books and studying. Coen stayed in the living room and didn’t come after her, which she was thankful for.
When it was past midnight, she put her books away and set her alarm. She and Coen argued and bickered but they didn’t have their first fight until now. She wondered if he would sleep on the couch. She hoped he wouldn’t. It would be weird not to sleep with him.
The door opened and he walked inside. He stripped off his clothes and got into bed, lying beside her. Neither one of them said anything. Sydney was glad he came to bed even though she didn’t say it.
Coen wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged her to his side of the bed. He kissed her neck while he groped her breasts. Then he grabbed her thigh and raised it, moving his cock inside her.
Sydney moaned as she felt him. He rocked into her hard and fast, rocking the bed. Coen held onto her tightly while he thrust, using his hips to reach far inside. Sydney’s body convulsed like it always did when he rocked her world. She gripped his thigh as she screamed.
When they were both finished, Coen snuggled beside her, not pulling out. Her back was pressed to his chest, soft to the touch. He kissed her cheek then her neck before he closed his eyes.
“I love you, baby,” he whispered.
“I love you too.”
3
Sydney was still mad the next morning. Coen had always been protective of her, but he never told her what to do. Coen was just concerned for her, which was fine, but she didn’t like it when he bossed her around. She wouldn’t put up with it. It reminded her too much of her stepfather.
When she went into the kitchen, she grabbed a banana and an apple to snack on. Normally, she had breakfast with Coen but she wasn’t speaking to him right now.
Coen sat at the table, his coffee untouched. He stared out the window and didn’t acknowledge her. His eyes seemed to be empty and dark, like his mind and heart were somewhere else.
Sydney assumed he was equally mad at her. She didn’t care if he was. She was right and she knew she was.
When she glanced at the clock, she knew Coen was already late for his first class. “You need to hurry,” she said as she put her water bottle in her backpack.
He didn’t look at her. “I’m not going to school today.”
She stopped. “Why?”
Coen rubbed the sleep from his eyes but said nothing.
“Just because we had a fight?” she said. “That’s unacceptable. You need to go.”
“That isn’t why,” he said quietly.
She stared at his face, seeing the depression etched onto his features. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed. “It’s the anniversary of my sister’s death.”
His words cut through her heart painfully. She had no idea that was today. They hadn’t even been together for a year, so she had never experienced it before. The pain rushed into her and made her heart squeeze. Whenever Coen was in pain, it was a million times worse for her. She came to him then sat in his lap. He didn’t push her away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know.” She ran her fingers through his hair then kissed his cheek.
“It’s okay.” He placed his arm around her waist and held her on his leg.
Sydney kissed his forehead then placed her face close to his.
“Baby, you should get going. I don’t want you to speed.”
“I’m not going to class, Coen.”
He finally looked at her. “What?”
“Why would I do after you told me that?” she asked. “Class can wait.”
Coen’s eyes softened. “I appreciate that, but you need to get to school. I’m just going to sit around and be depressed all day. There’s nothing you can do for me.”
“That’s not true. If you’re depressed all day, so am I. I won’t leave you.”
“No, I want you to go. But my family has a dinner every year to remember her. I need you to come to that.”
“Of course.”
“And to the cemetery.”
She ran her fingers through his hair.
“But I don’t need you now. So please go.”
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
He nodded.
“Okay.” She moved from his lap and grabbed her backpack. “I’ll see you later.”
“Okay.”
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She left the house and went to class. She tried to concentrate but she was having difficulty. Coen’s pain kept coming back to her. She never had the honor of meeting his sister. Even though Coen was younger at the time, he still remembered her passing clearly. She understood his pain because she had lost her own father, but she wished there was more she could do for him.
When she went to the cafeteria, she was still upset.
Henry noticed it. “What’s wrong, Syd?”
She wasn’t sure if Coen wanted everyone to know. “Coen and I—we’re just going through a hard time.”
“You seemed fine yesterday,” Henry said.
“Well, it’s not really a fight between us. We’re just having some problems with family. It’s personal.”
Henry backed off. “Is that why he isn’t here today?”
Sydney nodded.
“I’m here for you guys if you need me.”
She smiled. “I know.”
Derek placed a bowl of mixed fruit in front of her.
“What’s this for?” Sydney asked.
“I didn’t see Coen in class,” he said. “I got his back.”
Sydney smiled. “I forget that you can be incredibly sweet.”
Paola stared at Derek affectionately. “I can’t. He reminds me all the time.”
“But you give me sex,” he said.
“You better not be expecting it from Sydney,” Paola said.
Derek grimaced. “That’s so
gross. She’s like my sister.”
Sydney laughed. “Coen would be happy about that.”
“So everything is okay between you two?” Derek asked/
“Well, we did get in a fight last night,” Sydney said. “The first one of our marriage.”
“What happened?” Paola asked.
“Coen said I work too much. When I’m not at school or working, I’m studying when I get home. He says I’m overworked and I need to take a step back from my coursework or research. When I said no, he got upset and the fight just broke out. He’s exaggerating.”
No one said anything. Her friends ate their food quietly.
“He’s wrong, isn’t he?”
Henry shrugged.
“Please don’t tell me you agree with him,” Sydney said.
“You are a workaholic,” Henry said. “A bad one.”
Sydney sighed. “No, I’m not.”
Henry looked away. “It’s not my marriage.”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I have to finish in four years for my scholarship and I have to continue this research if I want a publication. It’s a big deal. I can’t just take time off.”
Ren averted her gaze, and so did Derek and Paola.
“You guys are wrong,” Sydney said.
Henry pushed his empty plate away. “I’m sure Coen is just concerned like any husband should be.”
“There’s a difference between being concerned and being controlling,” Sydney said.
Henry fell silent.
“And Dan saw me talk to Aaron yesterday,” Sydney said. “So that made it worse.”
“What did that fucker want?” Henry snapped. “Did he bother you?”
Sydney rolled her eyes. “Not you too.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Derek said.
“Seriously, you guys are annoying,” Sydney said. “I can take care of myself.”
Henry looked at me. “If a guy bothers any of the girls, all the guys get involved. That’s how this group works.”
Derek nodded. “If someone bothered Ren, I’d put them in the hospital.”
Ren laughed. “It’s like you guys are in a gang.”
Paola looked at Derek. “If a girl was hitting on Coen, I wouldn’t just jump her.”
“Not the same thing,” Henry said.
“It sounds like the same thing,” Sydney said.
“A girl can’t bother a guy. It only works the other way around,” Henry said.
“I remember Audrey slapping Coen, stalking him, and making his life a living hell,” Sydney snapped. “Yes, a girl can bother a guy.”
“Well, that’s an unusual situation,” Derek said.
Sydney crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. “I just want this day to be over.”
Henry patted her on the arm. “Every darkness has to end sometime.”
She nodded. “I wish that time was now.”
When the lunch period was over, she finished her classes then went by the aquarium. She needed to take out the samples from the incubator and return them to the cabinet. If not, the bacteria would exceed the growth period. She washed her hands then went back to the shack.
Her heart hurt when she walked through the door. Knowing Coen was in pain was excruciating to her. Their earlier argument had been dropped in light of the event. Sydney wasn’t one to hold grudges, especially against her husband. She would drop it if he did.
He was sitting on the patio when she walked inside.
She stared at him for a moment before she joined him. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he said quietly.
Sydney sat in his lap and ran her fingers through his hair. There was nothing she could say to make this better. When her father died, she hated being consoled. The words were just empty, meaningless. Instead, she remained silent.
Coen leaned back and looked at her. “How was school?”
“Derek bought me lunch because you weren’t there. He said he has your back.”
A slight smile came into his lips. “Tell him I said thanks.”
“And he said he thought of me as his sister…even though we look nothing alike.”
“Which is why I like him.” His mood was a little better when they discussed their friends.
“What time are we going to your mom’s?”
“In an hour,” he said with a sigh.
I nodded.
“Well, we should get going.”
She got off his lap then we went inside. There was a large bouquet of flowers sitting on the table. The flowers were yellow, red, pink, and white. They were different flowers, an eclectic collection.
“They’re beautiful,” Sydney said when she looked at them.
Coen nodded.
“Where did you find them?”
“Around the island.”
She turned to him, surprise on her face. “Did you pick them?”
“Yeah. My sister used to love flowers.”
Sydney felt her eyes sag. That was so sweet. Coen was sensitive but she didn’t realize just how sweet he could be. “They are lovely, Coen.”
“I think she would have liked them.” He grabbed them from the table then walked out of the house. Sydney trailed behind him, staying quiet.
They drove to the cemetery in his truck. She sat in the seat next to him, the flowers in the passenger seat. Her hand rested on his thigh. The music was off even though they usually had the radio on. They were both quiet. Sydney wanted to make his pain go away, but there were no words to make that possible.
When they arrived at the cemetery, Coen killed the engine and sat still. He didn’t reach for the door, and Sydney didn’t move. She would wait until he was ready. He finally opened the door and helped her down. He grabbed the flowers and held them close to his chest.
Sydney held his hand as they walked along the line of graves. When they reached hers, they stopped. The headstone was beautiful. A picture of her was carved into the granite. She was beautiful and lively. Her eyes reminded Sydney of Coen’s. Just looking at the sight made her eyes water. It was hard to miss someone you never knew, but seeing their genetic similarities made her heart ache. She was a sister she would never know.
Coen put the flowers down then stood still. He stared at the headstone for a long time, saying nothing. Sydney held his hand and rubbed his knuckles with her thumb. The tears fell down her face but she stayed as quiet as possible. The slight breeze moved through her hair. The only sound was the slight rustle of the leaves. She heard Coen sniff but she didn’t look at him. She waited.
Coen wiped his eyes then sniffed again. He swallowed his emotion and regained his composure. Sydney didn’t need to see him cry to understand how much he loved and missed his sister. The pain and despair was etched onto his face.
The grave was already covered in flowers. Sydney assumed they were left by other family members and friends. She was never forgotten. Sydney knew she was loved.
Coen placed his arm around her waist and held her close. “Thank you.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder.
“This has been a lot easier with you,” he whispered. “I know you feel helpless, at a loss of words, but just having you beside me makes a difference.”
She wiped her tears away.
“My sister would have loved you.”
“And I love her,” she whispered.
He took a deep breath then pulled her away from the grave. They got back into the car and drove to Coen’s parents’ house. They were still quiet. Coen hid his emotion well, but his blue eyes were still dark and lifeless.
Sydney was surprised by the warmth that greeted them when they walked inside.
“Hello, honey,” Vivian said as she hugged Sydney.
“Hello,” Sydney said quietly.
“Ah-hem,” Coen said. “Remember me? Your oldest son?”
His mother rolled her eyes. “Yes, I remember you.” She hugged him and held him tightly.
“I heard you had a dinner party the other night,” he said.
/>
“It was last minute.”
“Just admit that you like Sydney more than you like me.”
She pulled away and smiled at him. “I love her just as much.”
“Well, that’s a little better.”
Her eyes softened when she stared at her son, a glimmer of emotion passing.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too,” she said as she hugged him again.
Sydney watched with a smile on her face and moisture in her eyes. Coen was so close to his family. She was grateful to be a part of it.
Jordan came down the hall and hugged Coen.
Sydney had never seen them embrace each other or even be civil to one another. This was obviously a special occasion.
Jordan pulled away then hugged Sydney.
Sydney returned the affection warmly.
When they came into the kitchen, the food was already laid out. Coen’s grandparents were there and they chattered with Sydney for a while, delighted to see her. Gilbert was quiet. He greeted Sydney but didn’t say much. Nathan seemed to be taking the day the hardest. He couldn’t smile and he couldn’t speak. He kept to himself.
When they sat together, they all held hands. Sydney watched everyone bow their heads and close their eyes. She did the same out of respect. After Vivian said the prayer for his sister, they dropped their hands.
Dinner was quiet, not as talkative as it normally was. The tension and despair was in the air. When Sydney looked at the counter, she saw all the pictures of Coen’s sister. There was an image of her in her soccer uniform, dance practice, her high school prom. It was a sad sight.
Coen didn’t say anything. He ate his dinner, his eyes downcast to his plate. Sydney watched him discreetly, making sure he was doing okay. Even though he seemed strong, she knew there was a hurricane of pain deep inside him.
After dinner, they gathered in the living room and played board games like they usually did. Everyone wasn’t as enthusiastic about it. Coen kept looking out the window, forgetting when his turn arrived. Nathan didn’t participate at all, choosing to sit on the couch and watch TV. Sydney felt their pain leak out from every pore. Coen’s family enjoyed life and appreciated its gift, but they also felt the bitter despair of reality. Sydney wished she could do something to make everything better, to take the pain onto herself. This was the one time she couldn’t do that.
