The guests have settled in now and the party is cranking up. Donna decides she’s gonna hit the dance floor. She grabs the mayor’s son from a nearby table and drags him along. Mother comes by the table where I’m seated, “Dear, this is a party in your honor. You have to be more social.”
I look up at her with a slight smile as she opens her mouth to chastise me further, up walks Jarrod, “Hello ladies.” I introduce Jarrod to Mother and he charms her as I knew he would. Then he takes me by the hand and excuses us to the dance floor.
We spend the rest of the evening dancing, eating with Donna and talking. He is, again, very attentive and even a little affectionate. He tells me several times how beautiful I am and how red is definitely my color. He holds my hand, squeezes my knee and after the guests sing Happy Birthday and I blow out the candles, he kisses me on the lips hard. But it feels a little odd, almost like he’s staking his claim in front of everyone. I shake it off and chalk it up to my imagination.
It’s been a wonderful night, but eventually the party begins to wind down. “I’ll be back beautiful,” Jarrod whispers, placing a small kiss on my forehead. I watch as he walks off in the direction of the restroom.
“Are you having a good time?” Donna asks, walking up beside me.
“Yeah, of course,” I answer, but honestly something is feeling…strange. I try to shrug it off. “You want to come home with me? We could put on our pajamas and watch scary movies or something?”
“Nah, girl. I have to get up early in the morning. My parents have planned this whole family outing. I’ll check in with you when I get back though,” and I’m disappointed but give her a smile.
“Sounds good.” We exchange a hug and she kisses my cheek, before pulling away.
“Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks, girl,” I respond.
“Remember your promise,” she says looking over her shoulder at Jarrod as he’s returning. “Please? Just go slow and be careful.” I nod in agreement. Donna is always worrying over me. I love her for it, but I don’t honestly take her warning to heart. She exchanges a small, but civil goodbye with Jarrod then leaves.
Jarrod takes my hand once we’re alone and his thumb moves caressingly over my fingers. “I think we should continue your birthday party on our own.” My pulse speeds up, because I have missed him and the look in his eyes is intense. “You only turn twenty-one once and it needs to be memorable,” he continues.
“Okay…” I whisper with a small smile and go off to find Mother to let her and Carter know that I’m leaving with Jarrod.
Mother smiles, “I think I like that young man.” I return her smile and go off to the restroom to change into the jeans, sneakers and blouse that I brought along.
Jarrod drives us to the top of a mountain. We gaze at the stars, laugh and talk for over an hour. He turns and stares into my eyes as if he is searching for something. I feel heat shoot through my body again but this time I decide to embrace it and I don’t break our eye contact. He runs his finger down my cheek to my chin and gently tilts my head. He is so gorgeous in this moonlight.
He moves in and I close my eyes. I feel the soft touch of his lips on mine. His tongue separates my lips and begins a playful journey in my mouth. I follow him and our tongues enjoy the journey together. He pulls away slightly, our eyes connect again and he takes me by the hand. “Come on,” he motions to the car.
Once we are in the car, he lean in and places a small kiss on my lips. His mouth is so soft, so inviting. I could kiss him all night. “How ’bout we pick up a movie and head to my house?” he asks.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” I answer as he starts the car and we head out.
We arrive at his parent’s home and he leads me to the guest house where he is living. He explains that he just moved back after he graduated from law school last week and will be joining his father in his law practice. The guest house is nicely decorated and there is a hint of lavender hanging in the air. He tells me to make myself comfortable while he goes to the kitchen. He returns with two glasses of red wine and hands one to me. Then he puts the movie in the Blu-ray player, sits down beside me on the couch and puts his arm around me. I snuggle in beside him. “Drink up,” he insists. “There’s more where that came from.” I smile and begin drinking my wine.
The beginning of the movie is slow and a little boring so we’re talking while we halfheartedly watch. I finish my glass of wine and Jarrod offers me another. I shake my head no. I’m feeling a little odd. I know I’m not a drinker, but I didn’t think one glass of wine would have an effect on me. Still, just a little later, my speech is slurred. I feel dizzy, and I just can’t seem to get control of myself. “I think something’s wrong with me,” I slur at Jarrod. He smiles, “No baby, your just fine. Roll with it. Embrace it.”
“Whaa..wh..” I can’t seem to put my thoughts and words together. He brushes my hair back with his hand and when I try to push it away, I can’t get my hand and arm to cooperate. I feel myself passing out or falling asleep or something. The next thing I know, I’m lying in a bed somewhere and Jarrod is on top of me kissing my neck.
“NO!! STOP!! I don’t want this!!!” I am trying to scream but I’m not sure anything is coming out and would anyone hear me anyway?? Then the back of his hand, comes hard across my mouth, it feels like an explosion. I can instantly taste the bitter, metallic blood gushing into my mouth.
“SHHH! Be a good girl now,” he demands.
Please…please stop!! My arms feel like elephant legs, too heavy to lift when I go to push him off me. My head is consumed by fog, I can’t focus. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!?!? Why can’t I move? I can’t be drunk; I only had one glass of wine.
“You know you want it,” he says with the most sadistic grin on his face. NO! NO! I want to scream but I can’t make a sound. He grabs my blouse and yanks. I hear the buttons bouncing across the hard wood floor as I fade into nothingness….everything goes black!
As I come to, I feel the full weight of him on top of me. My bra is shoved up, exposing my breasts. My jeans and panties are off and he is completely undressed. As I blink my eyes for clarity, I can hear the Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony”, playing in the background. He smiles that smug, arrogant smile down at me, “You’re gonna like this, baby.”
He lowers his mouth to my breast. He bites me…the pain is excruciating! I still can’t find my voice to scream. I can feel his erection, hard against me. I try to move, wiggle, and squirm, anything to get loose. Nothing happens. Oh God am I in hell!?!? Is this real?? Is it a bad dream?? A nightmare that I can’t seem to wake up from?? He bites me again! As he separates my legs with his knee, then looks me straight in the eye, “Ready or not, here I come.” He lowers his head and with the next painful bite to my breast, I feel the searing burn of him slamming inside of me.
Oh God, I AM in hell!! STOP, I try to scream but it comes out only as a whisper. He continues his assault on my breast as he slams into to me over and over, harder and harder with each thrust. With his last thrust, it feels like he’s going to bite my nipple off. I scream a low, gravelly scream full of anger and pain. He’s a sweaty pile, slumped on top of me. Breathing hard and with each breath he takes, its suffocating me. The smell of his cologne is nauseating. I feel my stomach revolt and I fight back getting sick.
I muster every bit of strength I can, haphazardly raise my arm and shove at him. He rolls off me and lies beside me. My head is so hazy and I can’t lift myself from the bed. What the hell is wrong with me?? I look down and there is blood on my breast from his mutilation. He rolls over on his side, looking down at me with a smirk on his face, “That was nice, baby.” Chills run through me and all I can think about is getting far, far away from here….from him. I try to raise myself again but barely budge.
He comes around to my side of the bed and begins getting dressed. Once he’s clothed, he walks back to me. He reaches down, grabs me by the arms, and pulls me to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. “We need to get you dress
ed.” I see the blood stain on the bed, the only thing left of my innocence, and tears well in my eyes. He turns loose of me to retrieve my clothes. I feel wobbly like I am going to topple over. He makes it back to the bed just in time to steady me. First he puts my bra back in place. God, I don’t want him touching me! Please make him stop!
Then, he holds up my shirt with a sneer, “This will never do.” As he turns loose of me to walk to his dresser, I begin to wobble again. He returns and pulls one of his t-shirts over my head. When he’s finished dressing me, he stands me up. My legs feel like jell-o and begin to buckle. He reaches down, picks me up and packs me to the car.
The ride home is silent except for the music playing. I still feel like this has all been a nightmare. I don’t know how or why this ended up happening. Is it even real? Will I wake up in the morning and realize this was just a nightmare? We pull in my driveway; he turns off the car and unbuckles his seatbelt.
As he turns toward me, he sees a tear running down my cheek so he reaches over to brush it away, “Ah baby, don’t fret. It’ll be better next time.” Next time?? Next time?? Is he that crazy?? The next thing I know, he’s opening my car door and standing me on my feet. He slaps me on the ass as he’s telling me to go on inside. He drives away as I stumble and pitch my way to the front door. Once inside, I’m so relieved to find that Mother and Carter are asleep. I make my way to my room, topple over onto my bed and cry myself to sleep.
CHAPTER 2
Solution
I wake, slightly, from the light coming through the window of my bedroom. My head is groggy and I feel sore all over, like I’ve been beaten with a baseball bat. I realize I’m still in my clothes from last night and on top of the covers but can’t bring myself to care. I wonder what time it is but I just don’t have the energy to get up. As I’m fading back into sleep, memories of last night start running through my head but I can’t stay awake.
“Sheridan….Sheridan, honey, what’s wrong,” I hear my mother say, as I realize she’s shaking me. It startles me and I jerk to a sitting up position. “Sheridan, you were crying in your sleep. Bad dream?” she questions. I nod in confirmation. She looks me over from head to toe. “You’re still in your clothes. Your face is bruised and there’s blood in the corner of your mouth. What happened to you, Sheridan?” she asks in a concerned but demanding tone.
I try to stay calm myself but I lose it. I begin to sob. Mother puts her arms around me and holds me like a young child. I had wanted this kind of caring from my mother so many times over my childhood. She strokes my hair, “Shhh, it can’t be that bad, darling.” I sob even harder so she holds me tighter. She sits back a bit and wipes my tears, “Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I shallow hard, trying to find my voice, “Jarrod…he, he raped me last night.” I begin to sob again.
“He did what??” she says as tears well in her eyes.
“He raped me,” I moan through my sobs.
She grabs me and hugs me tight, “Oh God,” she cries. We hold each other and cry for what seems like forever. Mother sits back, dries her eyes and then begins wiping the tears from my face, “Honey, are you sure of what you’re saying?”
Am I sure?? I’m so hurt by her question that I can feel my heart rip like it’s being cut with a dull knife. I pull the t-shirt up, unlatch my blood stained bra to expose my breast, “Yes Mother, I’m sure.”
She gasps, putting her hand over her mouth. She grabs my hand, “Was he wearing protection?”
I explain the whole gut wrenchingly nasty scene to her. The fact that I only had one glass of wine. The fact that I think I was drugged. The fact that I couldn’t raise my arms or get my body to react in any way. The fact that I have no idea if he was wearing protection or not because I couldn’t move. By this time, my voice and sobs have gotten so loud that they must have gotten Carter’s attention. He comes running into my room, “What’s wrong?!?!”
I just sit on the bed and continue crying. Mother strokes my head again, “I’ll be back in a little while, Sheridan. Stay right here and rest.” Then she ushers Carter out of the room. I lie back down on the bed, still crying from the hurt of Mother’s question. Of course I am sure. Does she think I am stupid? Does she think I would make something like that up? I’m not sure which is worse, the wound she just inflicted on me or the wounds from last night.
Mother returns a couple of hours later with a glass of water and some pills in her hand, “Here, take these.”
I pop the pills in my mouth, take a drink and swallow. “What are they?”
“A couple of Tylenol and something to make sure you don’t get pregnant.” Pregnant? Oh God, please no! Mother must have seen the instant fear and shock on my face. “Don’t worry about that. These will completely take care of it. I called our family doctor and had him call it in at the pharmacy. I didn’t tell him what had happened just that I needed them,” she answers without me having to say a word.
“Now, let’s get you in the shower. You’ll feel better after you’re cleaned up a bit.” I keep insisting that I can do it myself so she concedes as long as I let her know when I’m finished. I get the shower as hot as I can and it does feel good. I stay until I am a prune. I keep trying to wash his smell off of me. I scrub until my skin is raw but I can still feel him touching me. Nothing helps.
It’s late evening. I let Mother know that I’ve finished and that I’m just going to lie down. She insists that I eat and brings a sandwich to my room. The last thing I feel like doing is eating but I do, so that Mother will be satisfied. She tells me that Donna called earlier and she told her that I wasn’t feeling well. I love Donna but I’m thankful that Mother pacified her. I don’t wanna talk to nor see anyone. I just want to lock myself in my room and sleep until this isn’t even a memory anymore.
I lie looking up at my ceiling, wondering again, why all of this happened. Why did he rape me? Did I do something that made him? Was it the clothes I was wearing, earlier in the night? Was it something I said? Why did Mother turn so cold with her questions? Did she think I did something to cause it? I end up crying myself to sleep somewhere between all the questions running through my head.
It’s morning again and as much as I had wished to wake up with no memories, it didn’t happen. I’m still sore and I have a headache from hell. I go to the medicine cabinet, in my bathroom, to get some Tylenol and end up caught in my reflection in the mirror. Who is this girl staring back at me? She looks weathered and sad. She looks like no one I’ve ever known. She looks like no one I’ve ever wanted to know.
I shake my head, as if coming out of a dream, and turn from the mirror. I wanna run away to where no one knows me. I wanna lock myself away and never have to deal with people again. I feel ashamed even though I know that I haven’t done anything wrong. I get dressed, wishing I didn’t have to leave my room.
Finally, I pull myself together and head down stairs. Mother and Carter are sitting at the dining room table. I wonder why Carter hasn’t left for the office yet. I enter the room and they both turn to stare at me. There is an awkward silence. Carter rises from the table, “I’m headed to the office now,” he has such a look of disappointment on his face. Was this disappointment aimed at me? He kisses Mother good-bye and stops to hug me as he leaves. He hugs me tight, as if he never wants to let me go and it takes me by surprise.
When Carter is out the front door, Mother asks me to join her. She takes my hand, “Sheridan, dear, Carter and I have been talking about the incident. I think being away from here would be best for you at this point. Carter has contacted a friend at Berkeley College in New York and they have a place for you this fall. We also found a lovely apartment for you in the city. It’s near Carter’s place there.” I feel all the blood drain from my body. There it is. I’m the dirty little secret that needs to be sent away. Out of sight, out of mind.
I sit silent for a few moments, “Well, it looks as though you guys have this all wrapped up in a nice, neat little package.” The dismay in my voice
is very apparent.
“Sheridan, don’t be like that. We only want what’s best for you. Staying here, seeing Jarrod on the streets and people eventually finding out is going to be a lot for you to handle,” Mother gives her simple explanation. I am hurt beyond what I have ever known and tears are streaming down my face. I can’t believe she is trying to put this on me.
“NO, Mother! It’s gonna be a lot for you to handle. Lord knows we can’t let the town find out about the incident. What in the world would the neighbors, the country clubs members and all your friends think about your perfect daughter then? Better yet, what would they think of you?” I shout.
“Sheridan!” Mother gasps as though I have slapped her through the face.
“Oh Mother, please! Save the bullshit! You make all the arrangements and I’ll be the good little girl and do what you need done. Make it quick, I wanna to be outta here by the weekend,” I demand. I get up from the table and leave as quickly as I possibly can. I make it back to my room and collapse on the bed. It’s then the sobs escape from deep in my chest. They rack my body and are filled with hurt and anger. It feels as if this nightmare is never going to end.
Fueled by my anger, I gather all the clothes I had on the night of the incident and head for the backyard. I throw the clothes in the fire pit, cover them with lighter fluid and set them on fire. As I stand there, unable to stop my tears, I feel like I’m watching part of myself incinerate into smoke and disappear into nothingness. Part of my soul is carried away in the wind and I feel empty inside. I slump to the ground and sit by the fire pit for hours, not really thinking about anything. I feel so numb, it’s as if part of me has died. I’m jerked back to earth when Mother comes to the back door and says Donna is on the phone insisting to speak to me.
Broken In Pieces: Billionaire Stepbrother Romance (Wounded Hearts Book 1) Page 2
