As he starts to walk around the bed, I roll over. I don’t mean to shut him out but I’ve got so much going on in my head that I need the space. What I really don’t need is him pulling me to him and kissing me like he did in the sea again. That will only mess my head up more. I shouldn’t be feeling the way I am about him. I shouldn’t like him this much already when I’ve only known him for a day. Plus, he’s not just a guy, he’s a solider—exactly what I said I never wanted. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to deal with an army relationship and all the stress that comes with it.
I have no idea how much time ticks by as I lie there thinking, but I know he’s not asleep behind me. I can tell by his breathing. A huge part of me wants to turn around, to make the most of the situation we’ve found ourselves in, but another part is screaming at me that this is only going to end one way, and that’s with me left behind with a broken heart. I may have only know Jayden Baxter for a day, but I already know he’s going to change my life. I’m just not sure I’m ready for it.
Chapter Four
Once we’ve had breakfast the next morning, we decide to hang around instead of getting in the car and heading off to our next unknown destination. We spend the day wandering through town whilst Jay picks up a few things he didn’t have in his case. We stop and have a coffee whilst watching some street entertainers, and then another one a few hours later watching an old couple fighting with their fish and chips and a swarm of seagulls.
We shy away from any kind of serious conversation about our jobs or our futures, and it amazes me how quickly I allow myself to forget about the stress of home and just enjoy this time doing pretty much nothing with him.
We spend the rest of the afternoon walking hand in hand along the beach, talking, watching families building sand castles, flying kites, and those who are brave enough to venture into the sea. I have first-hand experience of how cold that is, and no intention of testing it out again.
* * *
When the sun starts to drop, we decide we’ve probably walked far enough and start heading back. I’ve no idea how many miles we’ve covered, and I don’t really care.
Once we get back into town, we opt for crossing over the road and walking past all the bars and cafés as we debate where we’re going to have dinner. We eventually decide on a little Italian on one of the backstreets. It’s quaint, the owner is someone you’d likely see on a comedy sketch show. He keeps us entertained for hours before we head back to our room and spend the night chilling out. Jay flicks through the channels whilst I sit with my sketchpad, coming up with some beach themed jewellery based on our day. His eyes flick over to my designs every few minutes and when he looks up at me I see him asking the same questions I do of myself regularly. Why am I doing a business degree? What am I going to do next if—or more so when—Mum’s shop goes under? I don’t answer his unspoken questions because I have no answers. I wish I did.
When we eventually get into bed, I can’t help but have a smile on my face. I’ve had the most incredibly relaxing day and the fact that I’ve been able to switch off has everything to do with the man lying beside me.
“Jay,” I whisper, a few minutes after turning the light off.
“Yeah?”
“Do you have to be so far away?”
Not a second later, I feel his body heat against my back, before his arm wraps around my stomach and he pulls me to him.
I have the best night’s sleep I’ve had in years.
* * *
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Jay says when the sound of the hotel room door shutting wakes me up.
It takes me a few seconds to register what’s going on, but I soon figure out that he must have been for a run. His fitted t-shirt shows off his sculpted chest and a pair of slim shorts hug his thighs. It’s quite a sight to wake up to.
“What time is it?”
“Almost ten. I asked June if we could have a late breakfast before hitting the road. She’s keeping it warm for when we’re ready.”
“Almost ten?” I ask in shock. I don’t think I’ve slept in this late before, ever. I sit bolt upright in bed and look to the clock at the other side of the room.
“Fucking hell,” Jay breathes, making me look back over at him. Only, he’s not looking at me—well, not my face, anyway.
I look down to see my nipple is just about to pop out from behind my cami. “Shit.” I shift around and quickly cover myself up.
“You ruin all my fun,” he says with a laugh, but then disappears into the bathroom for a shower. A wave of anxiety rushes through me as I think about how I’m acting. It’s clear he wants more from me but I’m running scared. Will he eventually get fed up of playing this cat and mouse game? He said our time wasn’t about that, and he’s happy to take my lead, but is that really true?
I try to put my thoughts to one side as I get dressed and go down for breakfast. I know it won’t make the situation any better, but at least I can ignore it for now.
* * *
“Where do you fancy going next?” Jay asks once we’ve polished off our fry up.
“I thought we weren’t making plans?”
“No, but I’d like to have an idea of what direction I’m driving in. Would you like to carry on down south or…?”
“I’d prefer to go up, if that’s okay with you. I’d love to see the scenery of the Lake District and Scotland. I’ve only seen it on the telly and it looks incredible.”
“It’s stunning.”
“You’ve been?” I’m not sure why I’m surprised, because he’s probably been to most places, but I’m a little disappointed it’s not something we can discover together.
“I’ve had a few exercises up there. No holidays, though,” he says, making me feel a little better.
“So you don’t mind then?”
“Of course not. Anywhere you want to go, we’ll go.”
“Australia?”
“That might be pushing it. Maybe next time,” he answers with a laugh. My heart does a little dance at the sight of his joy. I love seeing him smile and hearing his laugh. I feel pathetic even thinking it, but I think it’s my new favourite thing. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
We grab our stuff, say goodbye, and get ourselves into Peggy for the journey up north.
“I’m so excited,” I mutter, more to myself than Jay when he pulls onto the motorway.
“You’re too cute, Skittles.”
“Are you going to tell me why you call me that?”
“I already did. It suits you.”
“That’s not a reason.”
* * *
It’s late afternoon and we’re just over halfway to our destination when my phone starts ringing. Our very loose plan is to get as far into the Lake District as we can, and find a B&B before the sun sets.
“Well, it’s good to know you’re not dead,” I comment as a greeting to my best friend when I put the phone to my ear.
“I could say the same thing. I’ve just been to your house; your mum said you left a note saying you’d be gone for two weeks. Where the fuck are you?”
“Uh…I’m not entirely sure, other than on the motorway heading towards the Lake District.”
“The fucking Lake District? It’s all mountains, lakes, and sheep; why the fuck are you going there?”
When I said before that Frankie and I are complete opposites in every way, this is what I meant. She can’t imagine a holiday that doesn’t involve getting wasted in a club full of sweaty, drunk people. I want to see places and experience other cultures and their history rather than getting drunk off my arse and not remembering most of the holiday.
To save myself further scrutiny I change the subject. “Have you had a good weekend?”
“OH MY GOD! Erin, you have no idea how incredible Dean is.” She squeals so loudly I have to pull the phone away from my ear. Jay looks over and raises his eyebrows in question. I shake my head at him and roll my eyes.
“So it was all you wanted it to be?”
&
nbsp; “And some. Seriously, E, I thought he was going to kill me with all the orgasms. I can barely fucking walk.”
“TMI, Kiki. TMI.”
“I don’t care. I’m telling you everything. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this and I want to relive it with you.”
“Great.”
“No need to sound so excited about it,” she chastises. “So anyway, after we left the club…”
She talks for almost thirty minutes as she tells me the ins and out—literally—of her weekend with Dean.
“So, are you seeing him again?”
“Yes, he’s on leave for another week, I think he said. To be fair, we haven’t done much talking, but he’s taking me out tonight. He’s left to do some crap, thank fuck, I can finally take a shit now he’s gone! Now stop changing the subject, and tell me why the fuck you’re going to the Lake District.”
“I’m going with Jay.”
“Who the fuck is Jay?”
I let out a breath before explaining who he is.
“Wait…that seriously hot guy from the club? Dean’s mate, Bax?”
I don’t need to look up to know Jay’s smiling beside me, I can feel his amusement. “Yes, that one,” I confirm.
“WOOHOO! Way to go, Erin. I bet he fucks like a fucking stallion as well.”
“Uh…”
“Oh my god, please tell me you had a go on that.”
“I…uh…”
“ERIN!” she screams. “For the love of all womankind, you need to tap that. Fucking hell, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me, thank you, Frankie.” I want to say something like, what we have is more than just a quick roll in the sheets like you’ve had with Dean, but I’m suddenly very aware that Jay’s listening to every word I say, as well as how those words would make this sound very serious and meaningful. I’m not ready to think about that kind of thing, let alone say it out loud.
“I’m sorry, but seriously, girl. You’ve got what, a week or so with him? Make the fucking most of it. You’ll be a long time cold and lonely when he’s gone back to wherever it is he came from. You may as well have some amazing memories to keep you company. Remember, you never regret something you’ve done, only the things you didn’t do,” she says, trying to sound wise all of a sudden.
“Thanks for the pep talk.”
“What are best friends for if it isn’t to tell you to fuck that hot as shit guy sat right next to you?”
I sit in silence for a few minutes, running the conversation around in my head. Is she right? Am I going to regret holding out like this? I soon distract myself when I think back to what I wanted to say about this being more than just sex, because it is. It scares the shit out of me to admit it to myself, but I feel like this is the start of something. Something serious. I don’t want to just jump straight into bed with him. I don’t want to rush whatever this is between us just because we’ve got a limited amount of time together. There’s no reason we can’t take this one step at a time.
I finally arrive at the depressing part of all of this as I think about him going back to wherever it is he’s based, and not seeing him for god knows how long.
“So who exactly was that?”
“Frankie, the blonde girl in the silver dress Saturday night.”
“I’m not sure I’d describe that as a dress, but yeah, I know the one.”
“She’s had this fantasy about having a fling with a soldier, showing him a good time and then sending him off to war. You know, like in the old black and white films. She just took great delight in telling me all about her weekend with Dean.”
Jay’s response is to start laughing. It’s not the reaction I was expecting.
“What’s so funny?”
“You just told me she has a solider fantasy and then backed it up by saying she spent the weekend with Dean.”
“Right, and…”
“Dean’s not in the army. He’s a mechanic for Arthur,” he says through his laughter.
My mouth drops open in shock.
“Fair play to him, though, he’s clearly had a fantastic weekend pretending to be a solider.”
“Wanker,” I mutter.
“What? Don’t you think it’s kind of funny?”
“Yes and no. Frankie’s ecstatic about her fantasy coming true and he’s lied to her. What’s he going to do next week when she’s expecting him to put his uniform on and head back to work?”
“No clue. Knowing Dean, he probably hasn’t thought that far ahead.”
I’m not sure if I’m pissed off that Jay’s mate has outright lied to Frankie, or if I’m amused by the whole thing like he is. Frankie is going to be gutted.
“So…” Jay asks. “Know anyone else with that fantasy?”
“Not that I know of. I don’t think soldiers are all that hot, really.”
“Ouch,” he says, putting his hand over his heart, making me laugh. “That’s a real shame because I know a solider who’s got some moves.”
“They also tend to be a little big headed.”
“It’s not my head you need to worry about the size of,” he deadpans.
“Oh please. I’ll believe that when I see it. What the fuck are you doing?” I squeal when he makes a show of taking his hands off the wheel in favour of his waistband.
“I’m joking,” he says with a laugh as he takes control of the car again. “I’ve had no complaints though, just so you know.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
* * *
“Do you have any idea where we are?” We went past the sign for the Lake District over an hour ago but soon found ourselves in the middle of nowhere with no phone or GPS signal. We haven’t seen a house or any kind of life form other than sheep for miles.
“Not exactly.”
“By that you mean no, right?”
“We’ll come across something eventually.”
“You really think we’re going to find a B&B out here?”
“No. Maybe a town, though. There’s got to be one at some point.”
We continue driving through the gorgeous countryside as we watch the sun set over the mountains ahead. I get the feeling we’re going to be spending the night in Jay’s car. I was all for not planning this trip, but I’m now feeling a little stupid for not at least aiming for a B&B, or a town where we might find one.
“Look, there are lights over there,” Jay says as we drop down a hill. It’s been dark out for hours now, we’re both starving, and I’m desperate for the toilet. I don’t have the luxury of being able to relieve myself on the side of the road like Jay did a few miles back.
“Oh please, god, let it be somewhere to stop.”
Jay laughs but continues driving towards the lights. For a building that looks to be fairly close, it takes a hell of a long time to get to with the winding roads. By the time we pull up to the somewhat derelict old farmhouse, I start to have second thoughts about stopping here.
“It’s got a B&B sign,” Jay points out sceptically.
“Hmmm.” Said sign was missing most of its letters and hanging at an angle. If it’s an indication for how unloved this B&B is, I’m not sure it’s where we should be staying. It already looks like it could be the setting for a murder mystery programme.
“How badly do you need the toilet exactly?”
“Badly, but I’m still questioning this decision.” Maybe peeing in a bush wouldn’t be so bad.
“Come on. I’m sure it’s owned by some lovely old couple who just struggle with maintenance.”
I try to go with his way of thinking but I can’t seem to get the idea out of my head that we could quite easily be killed here and no one would ever find us. I think I watch too many unsolved murder documentaries.
My desperate situation means that when he pulls the car to a stop and goes to get out, I rush to do the same.
We’re just about to give up after standing at the front door for a few minutes with no response when there’s some noise from inside.
The door gets opened slowly to reveal the most hillbilly man I’ve ever seen in real life. His hair is long and greasy, his teeth are either black or missing entirely, and he’s wearing the stereotypical checked shirt and threadbare jeans. He’s not that old, so Jay’s assumption of this place belonging to an old couple wasn’t right. I’m fairly sure my idea about being murdered here could be closer to reality, because this guy has a look in his eye I really don’t like.
“Hi, sorry, we’re a little lost and need a bed for the night.”
“And a toilet,” I add.
“Oh…uh…yeah, sure.” I swear I see an evil little smile appear on his lips. “Come in, toilet’s down there on the right.”
I give Jay a concerned look but he nods for me to go ahead. I really want to refuse but it’s getting pretty painful now, so with an unsure smile at him, I head off.
It’s a sight to behold. The toilet and basin are avocado green, the tiles are an aqua blue colour and covered in a layer of mould, and I can hardly see the taps for the limescale. Thankfully, I’ve got some anti-bacterial gel in my bag so I forego the hand washing facilities in favour of that.
When I find Jay, he’s stood at a rickety old reception desk with a room key in his hand. My stomach turns over at the sight. I really don’t want to stay here; it gives me the willies.
“It’ll be okay,” Jay says, obviously reading the look on my face.
We grab the bags from the car before venturing to our room; after seeing that toilet, I dread what it might be like.
I stand behind Jay as he puts the key in the lock and pushes the door. Nothing happens so he gives it a quick shove with his shoulder and after a loud creak, it opens. He doesn’t give anything away as he walks in ahead of me, but even still, I hold my breath.
When Jay stands aside, I get my first look. I could already see the bare floor but the walls are almost the same. There are just a few bits of wallpaper here and there. When I look into the room, there is a double bed in the middle with a naked mattress, and a single chest of drawers in the corner. That’s it.
Never Forget Him Page 5
