It was both wonderful and overwhelming to be welcomed into the family fold today. She’d never had that tight bond with her family in Sweden growing up, or on the Haas Farm. Her friends and co–workers at the textile mill were the closest group where she’d ever felt included, but yet they went their separate ways, both at the end of the work day, and after the fire.
Seth faded away from her side after their conversation with Mr. Connely, letting his mother and the Swedish women take over her time at the gathering. He ate with his brothers instead of joining her for the meal, also.
Everyone left as the sun started to drop in the sky. The air temperature was cold, but there was no wind, so she was warm in her coat and boots.
The Hamner family turned off to head over a hill to return home to the Bar E Ranch. Reagans and anyone else who lived in town, or further south, waved goodbye to Seth and Lilly as they started down the road to the Straight Arrow homestead.
“I enjoyed meeting your family and friends today, Seth. Everyone was so nice,” Lilly said, trying to break the silence which was their companion on the drive home.
Seth nodded but didn’t say anything, causing Lilly to worry over what was going on in his mind.
“Did I do something wrong, Seth? I wasn’t expecting you to disappear from my side.”
“You were fine with the Swedes. I’m sure you enjoyed spending the afternoon talking in your native language again.”
“Yes, I did. They are a wonderful group of people.”
“So do you want to go down to the Swedish settlement to live, or are there enough Swedes here to satisfy you?”
Lilly recoiled at Seth’s words, surprised at his tone and his question. What caused his remark?
It took several minutes for Lilly to find her voice. “What do you mean?”
“You came to Kansas to live with the Swedes,” Seth finally looked at Lilly with sad eyes.
“Yes, but…”
“Or did you marry me so you could work with horses…and have a place to live?”
So, he was upset because she omitted the status of the farm where she had worked. It didn’t matter to her their horses were famous, it was a place she had to work.
Another thought dawned to Lilly. Seth knew about Mans, and her yearning to marry the owner’s son. Did Seth think she trapped him into marriage for the same reason? She had mentioned, probably more than once, that Seth must be a rich man to buy her things, and to buy so many expensive pedigreed horses in Chicago.
And maybe you didn’t tell Seth about the Haas Farm because you wanted him to love you for yourself, not for your knowledge of horses.
Yes, she did want Seth to love her, because Lilly was falling in love with him.
So how could she convince—or show him—she wanted their marriage to be real, and forever? But at the same time, if Seth really didn’t want her as his wife, so be it. Lilly was never going to be the peasant girl, or the saloon singer, who was forced to do something she had no say in again. She loved horses and loved to sing, but she’d give up both for the freedom to live safely on her own terms.
Maybe Seth was right. Maybe she should move to the Swedish settlement and start over again. America was the Land of Opportunity and she hadn’t explored what she could do here. She had waited for Mans to arrive to take care of her, and she had expected Seth to do the same.
Lilly glanced at Seth, and he turned his head in the opposite direction so he didn’t have to meet her eyes. Fine. She’d take up Mr. Connely’s offer to pay her for training these new horses, then she could pay Seth back for her horse and clothing, then start her new life—without the man she now loved.
***
Lilly stiffened her back and lips after their conversation on the way home Saturday from the Cross C yesterday, and her body hadn’t relaxed since. She was polite, answered his questions if he asked something, and had prepared their simple meals. But she’d brushed her own hair each night, and slept upstairs—and darn it, the cat took sides and joined her—so Seth didn’t have his foot warmer in bed either.
Seth’s ma did the same “polite” thing to his da when she was upset with her husband. And Ma rarely told Da what was wrong when he asked; he had to figure it out for himself.
Welcome to married life, Seth. You’re in trouble in the first week of your marriage.
Seth introduced Lilly to more people at Sunday’s church service, keeping a hand on her elbow as he squired her around. She was pleased to meet more people, but yet he could tell she was being polite, not asking serious questions like a person who wants to know someone better. Could it be because she didn’t plan to stay in the Clear Creek area?
They stayed in town after church to have Sunday dinner with Seth’s family. He knew his parents were watching their interaction—or lack of it, but they didn’t pull him aside and give him any advice.
Isaac Connely visited the Straight Arrow on Monday afternoon, and Seth felt like a third wheel when Isaac and Lilly talked about horse breeding and the Haas Farm. Lilly asked Isaac if he was serious about paying her for working with the horses and they agreed on an amount and what she was to do, which was to acclimate the horses to the ranch, but also to be sure they were all trained to ride. Which was what Seth did with each horse they bought for the ranch. Seth had deferred to her role for the new horses and worked around the ranch, checking fences, or other winter projects.
Today was Tuesday, November 25th, two days before Thanksgiving. The Reagans always had a big family dinner at his parents’ home on Thanksgiving Day, but he thought he needed to talk to Lilly about this holiday, as well as Christmas. Did she plan to remain here, or was he going to be alone? It was time to talk about their future.
“Thank you for supper, Lilly. I like your stew,” Seth said as he finished scraping the last spoonful out of his bowl. He set the bowl aside and put his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together, wishing he could reach out to touch Lilly’s hands. “Is this a Swedish recipe?”
“No, something I put together with what was on hand. Which, now that I think of it, was how my moder cooked for our meals. Whatever we had to eat, she’d stretch it by making it in a stew or soup.”
All Seth could do was nod, because she’d told him about her family’s meager life.
“My family will celebrate Thanksgiving with a big family get–together, and everyone brings a dish to contribute to the meal. Do you have any suggestions for what we might bring to the meal?”
Lilly looked at her hands a bit before meeting his eyes. “I don’t think I’ll go with you on Thursday. It’s not a Swedish holiday, so I thought to do something on my own.”
Seth was floored because he wanted to spend the special day with her and his family. “Even the Swedes in Kansas celebrate Thanksgiving now. Surely you did in Massachusetts, too.”
“Mr. Connely gave me some advance money, so I’m going to take the train to Lindsborg and spend a few days there. I don’t think he’d mind my taking the holiday and weekend off to see the Swedish community. I’ll be back to finish working with the horses because I still need to pay you back for my horse and clothes,” Lilly put up her hand to keep Seth from talking. “I need to see what jobs and boarding houses may be available down there.”
“I told you those were gifts, you don’t have to pay me back,” Seth shook his head, and wished he could shake some sense into Lilly. Where was the woman who talked and laughed with him for hours during their first days together? Seth hadn’t heard her sing to the animals since Saturday either—and she was ignoring her mare, too.
“Are you unhappy here, Lilly?” He hoped by asking her point blank, they’d talk about what was bothering her.
“No…Yes…I can’t get attached to anything here, because it’s not permanent. It was a marriage of convenience, and it’s time I move on so I’m not a burden to you.”
“I don’t feel that way at all Lilly. In fact, I’d like to talk to you about changing our arrangement into a real marriage,” Seth said as he r
eached across the table, wanting to hold her hand.
Someone pounding on the front door made Seth pause in what he had planned to say next.
“Reagan! You in there? I need help!”
Seth quickly stepped to the door to open it for his neighbor, Gerald Squires.
“What’s wrong?”
“Betty’s having problems with her birthing, so her ma said to get the doctor! She’s been in labor over a day! Can you go to town for me, so I can get back to Betty?”
“Of course! Head back home and I’ll go get help,” Seth said as he shut the door behind his neighbor and headed toward the back door. He stuck his stocking feet in his boots, which were sitting by the back door, then grabbed his coat off a hook on the back wall.
“We’ll finish this conversation when I get back,” Seth pointed to Lilly before opening the door. “You all right here by yourself while I’m gone?”
“Oh, of course. Help your neighbor.”
Seth hesitated only a second before stepping back into the kitchen to embrace Lilly in a hug and give her a soft kiss. “I’m ready to commit to this marriage, Lilly, but you have to weigh what’s best for you, too. We’ll talk this out when I get home.” It was hard to leave Lilly when they were about to discuss their future together, but his neighbors needed immediate help.
***
Lilly watched out the window until the lantern light went out in the barn. It wasn’t quite dark yet, so she could still see Seth and the horse walk out the barn door. A few seconds later, Seth was in the saddle and they were loping down the lane.
Five miles to town and five back, after he found the doctor, who hopefully wasn’t attending another patient out of town already. Even though Seth’s return trip would be in the dark and the horse would have to travel slower, he should be back within two hours.
Lilly closed her eyes and touched her lips, remembering Seth’s strong arms around her back and his loving kiss. “I’m ready to commit to this marriage, Lilly…”
Lilly would watch the clock until he returned because she wanted a real marriage, too. She loved Seth, the ranch, his family…everything in Kansas and couldn’t wait to tell him she wanted to be his partner in life.
A knock on the front door, startled Lilly, and she glanced at the mantel clock. It had only been twenty minutes since Seth left. Was the neighbor back?
Thinking it was Squires, she opened the door, but was surprised who she saw in the table lamp’s shadows.
“Hello, Mrs. Reagan. We met you on the train last week going to Kansas City. Remember talking to us? Mr. Aldrin and Mr. Humphrey. We said we’d stop by sometime to visit.”
She remembered their faces, but felt uncomfortable inviting them in without Seth home. “Gentleman, we can’t show you the ranch and stock at night. Please come back tomorrow morning when it’s light outside.” Lilly started to shut the door, but Aldrin put his palm up to stop its closure.
“Mrs. Reagan, aren’t you going to invite us in for some refreshments after we traveled all the way out here?” The man stepped into the house causing her to walk backwards so she didn’t fall over. Why are they forcing their way in here?!
“No, it’s late and we’re about to go to bed. Seth…had a long day and so you need to leave,” Lilly tried to keep her voice calm, but it wasn’t working.
“I believe that was Mr. Reagan riding out not long ago, so that isn’t true, is it?” He stepped closer, causing her to bump into the chair by the fireplace.
Chills ran down Lilly’s spine as panic quickly spread to her limbs. She was cornered and alone, and no weapon within reach, not that it would help with two men in the house.
“Why are you here?” Lilly demanded, trying to keep her voice clear.
“Mr. Hardesty would like to see you again, so we’re here to escort you safely back to Chicago,” the man shrugged, as if it was a simple request.
“No! I’m married! You can’t make me go with you! I never want to see or talk to Hardesty ever again, so you can tell him to leave me alone!” Lilly screamed in his face.
“It would be really sad if Mr. Reagan came home to see his house—and barn—on fire, especially with all those prize horses locked inside,” the man said in a mocking voice.
“Why is Hardesty doing this?! He got me to Chicago under false pretenses. Why did he send you all the way out here to kidnap me?” Lilly screamed, furious with the maniac who wouldn’t leave her alone.
Aldrin smiled. “He likes your looks and voice, and wants you back, simple as that. Now you have a choice, Mrs. Reagan. You can enjoy a nice trip back to Chicago with us, or watch every building on this ranch burn,” his eyes gleamed like he’d love to strike a match to everything just to see the little sparks turn into raging infernos.
Lilly lowered her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She had no choice but to go with them now, and hope she could get away from them later.
She lifted her chin and stared at the cruel man. “May I get my coat and hat?” Lilly asked sarcastically. “If I have to go back to Chicago, I’d like to be warm and comfortable at least,” she added.
“Oh we’ll take everything of yours, so it looks like you left on purpose, including your little mare he bought you. In fact, she’s already saddled and ready to ride. So why don’t we sit down for a minute while Mr. Humphrey gathers your things around the house. I’m sure it won’t take but a few minutes since you haven’t lived here more than a few days,” Aldrin waved his hand toward the settee, meaning she was to sit down.
“Seth will come after me! I’m his wife!”
“He gave you a marriage of convenience, which I’m sure he’s regretted offering because of the money and hassle you’ve caused him.”
Lilly squirmed in her seat, knowing she had thought that, too, until Seth’s confession right before he left.
Humphrey trotted down the steps, with her carpet bag and reticule in his hand. “I got everything. It was all upstairs so she wasn’t sharing Reagan’s bedroom. Nice cat you got up there. Purred the whole time I packed your things.”
The dogs! They always barked when strangers came around! Lilly shot a wide look at Aldrin, and he knew she was thinking about the dogs now.
“The dogs are taking a little nap. Guess those hunks of meat might have upset their tummies,” Aldrin grinned.
“How long have you be watching us? You knew when Seth left, and were ready to break in as soon as he did!”
“There are some nice caves in these hills where we can watch a long way with a spyglass. I’d have preferred a hotel bed over a bedroll while we watched this place, but the pay we’ll get to deliver you was worth a few cold nights. Be grateful we didn’t come down here when Reagan was around. He might have gotten hurt.”
“Now, I’ll be polite and ask if you need to use the chamber pot before we leave? I’m not going to let you go into the outhouse by yourself. It’ll be some hours before you get off your horse again, Mrs. Reagan.”
Chapter 12
It was almost eleven o’clock by the time Seth rode his gelding into the barn. It took over an hour to find the town’s doctor. Then Seth decided he should accompany him to the Squires place, just in case they needed more help. Luckily, Betty Squires had delivered their child with the help of her mother and Gerald, so he and the doctor found a happy addition to the family instead of a tragedy.
The house was dark when he entered the back door. He thought Lilly would leave a lamp burning low on the kitchen table to guide his way. But it sat cold when he felt around for the lamp and lit a match to it. Seth was hoping Lilly was waiting up for him, or at least sleeping on the settee when he got into the house, but she must have gone to bed.
He was hoping she decided to commit to their marriage and would be sleeping in his bed, but she wasn’t there. There was no use waking her this late to talk, so Seth changed into his night shirt and crawled into his bed. At least the cat had warmed the bed for him.
After waiting past the usual time, Seth finally decided to put hay ou
t for the horses in the barn since Lilly hadn’t come downstairs yet. She wasn’t one to sleep late, but maybe she had stayed up late last night waiting for him and had fallen back asleep.
Lilly’s horse, Britta wasn’t in her stall. Did Lilly take her out for an early morning run? She hadn’t done that before. Seth walked to the tack room and looked at the row of saddles. One was missing, but not the one they’d talked about using on Britta. He’d have to check the saddle over to be sure there wasn’t something wrong with it, since she had used a different one.
After chores, he went in the house and made his own breakfast, expecting her to ride in at any time. Daisy hadn’t been milked yet, so he was surprised Lilly was out this long.
He thought Wally would have gone with her, but the dogs were quietly sleeping in the barn.
An hour passed and Seth was worried that something had happened to her or the horse and she was unable to return home. He saddled his horse again and looked for tracks to follow, but there weren’t any. Why? It had rained a good hour early this morning making icy mud, so hoof prints should have been very visible.
Fear crept up Seth’s spine as he ran to the house. He didn’t bother taking off his muddy boots to take the stairs two at a time. Her bedroom door was open and a quick look around the room showed it was empty. No brush on the wash stand. No clothes on the hooks on the south wall. It looked like she had never been in the room!
Lilly must have left last evening after he took off for town. That’s why there were no prints to follow and why Manurva was in bed with him last night…
Why did she go? Because she didn’t want to be married to me?
Where did she go? Did she ride into town, spend the night somewhere, planning to take the train to Lindsborg, or to one of her friends? Did she sell her horse to get money to get away from him?
Seth’s chest crushed with pain. He’d found the woman he loved and wanted to be with forever, but apparently she didn’t want him as her husband.
***
Lilly didn’t cause any trouble leaving the ranch or riding the two hours east to Brookville last night. She wanted the Straight Arrow homestead and the livestock to be safe when Seth returned home last night.
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