by Noelle Marie
“I’m sorry,” Serena whispered again.
Katherine snorted. “A lot of good that does me.”
Silence reigned for a long moment, both girls staring into what remained of the fire.
“We’re cousins,” Serena murmured quietly when it became obvious Katherine wasn’t going to say anything more.
Katherine frowned. “What?” she asked incredulously.
“Gerard and I,” she explained as she picked nervously at the thread-bare fringe of her dress. “Our fathers were brothers. We’re cousins.”
Katherine pressed her lips together. “My condolences.”
Serena laughed at that. It was one of the saddest sounds Katherine had ever heard. “Keep them,” she insisted. “He wasn’t always like this.”
Katherine folded her arms across her chest. “Like what? A complete psychopath who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to kidnap people and force them to have his babies?” she demanded. “Right.”
Serena’s shoulders slumped, her gaze falling to the ground. “When we were kids, he used to make me dandelion necklaces. He’s ten years older than me, and all the other kids made fun of him for it, but he didn’t care. He just cared about making me smile.”
Katherine stared. So what if Gerard used to make jewelry out of flowers for his baby cousin? He was also holding Katherine hostage with intentions of using her as the frickin’ breeding mare Penelope had accused her of being a week ago. Was it really a wonder that the latter took precedence when it came to Katherine forming her opinion of the man?
Still, she wasn’t about to turn down the free information. The small brunette needed to gather as much Intel as she possibly could on Gerard if she wanted to stand any chance at all of escaping him. “What happened?” she asked Serena, inflecting as much sympathy in her voice as she could given the circumstances.
Serena’s brow furrowed, and she bit her lip, like she was debating whether or not it was a good idea to answer the question. She glanced at Katherine’s pregnant stomach, and something like resolve hardened in her eyes. “Gerard’s mother died during childbirth,” she finally recounted after a tense moment. “I don’t think his father ever forgave him for it. It wasn’t his fault, of course, but his dad – his name was Dane – was hard on him... too hard on him, in a lot of ways.” Serena didn’t say the word “abuse”, but it was obvious enough what she meant. “My dad tried to intervene on Gerard’s behalf, but Dane didn’t want him having anything to do with his son.” Serena paused, swallowing. “Then my mom died.” She blinked away tears. “She was murdered, and there was evidence that Dane was involved. He and my father fought. Dane won.” Serena sniffled. Again, the details were in what she didn’t say. Dane had not only killed her mother, but also her father.
“Then what?” Katherine prodded.
Serena offered her a watery smile. “Gerard challenged his father to an alpha fight. Dane was weak from battling my dad, and Gerard won handily. When he did, he took revenge on Dane for all of us.” He killed him, in other words. “Then it was only Gerard and me. He’s all I have left in this world. I’m sorry. I—I wish...” she trailed off as she wiped tears from her eyes.
Katherine frowned. “You wish what?”
The only word to describe Serena’s expression was contrite. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” she admitted softly.
Katherine saw her opening and took it. “Then why does it have to?” she demanded. “I know you feel some misguided sense of loyalty to Gerard, I get it – I do. But aren’t there other alphas in the colony who can help you-?”
“No,” Serena said, cutting her off.
Katherine blinked. “No, what?”
“There are no other alphas.”
“No other alphas?” Katherine repeated dumbly, a lump of dread settling in her stomach. “How can that be?”
“Gerard’s father, Dane... he was head alpha before he died.”
Oh. Oh.
“When Gerard killed him, he inherited the position,” Serena explained needlessly. “The first thing Gerard did afterward was strip every other alpha in the community of their title. Most protested, of course, but Gerard demolished anyone who challenged him to a fight. Eventually, it became common knowledge not to question him if you valued your life. No one even bothers to announce himself an alpha anymore. All the packs merged into a one, and he is alpha to everyone.” Serena bit her lip. “We haven’t been called a colony in a very long time,” she finished softly.
Katherine struggled to take in all the information Sophie spewed at her. It certainly explained why Gerard thought he had rights to everything and everyone he came across. “What do you call yourselves then,” she finally asked, “if not a colony?”
Serena shrugged. “Just pack, I suppose.”
“Just pack, hm? How many people make up this “pack”? Do they actually enjoy living under Gerard’s rule, or are they just afraid to speak out? Surely there are enough of you to rise up against him. He doesn’t seem to treat anyone very well, after all. He doesn’t seem to treat you very well.”
Serena blinked at the avalanche of questions and observations Katherine shot at her. “What? I mean, I-I don’t-”
The animal skin flap that served as a door suddenly flew open, and Gerard entered the hut.
Speak of the devil.
Gerard paused in the doorway, frowning at the swift, suspicious silence as he took in Katherine and Serena standing across from each other near the fire pit. “What’s this?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as he approached. He directed his words at Katherine. “I sure hope you aren’t trying to manipulate sweet Serena here. She’s rather hare-brained, after all.” He patted Serena on the head, and Katherine felt angry for the girl. “It’d be cruel to take advantage of her.”
“Of course, not,” Katherine spat, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not a monster.”
Gerard’s mouth hardened into an unimpressed, straight line at the implication that he was. “Serena?” he questioned, his dark eyes remaining glued to Katherine’s green ones. He probably hoped to catch some sort of telling reaction.
“We were just talking,” Serena confirmed, and Katherine fought to keep her inner relief from showing on her face.
“Hm... if you say so,” Gerard finally said, tearing his eyes from Katherine’s as he plopped a large slab of raw, bloody meat onto the hut’s lone table. He pulled a serrated knife from its sheath on his waistband and sliced the meat into three portions before transferring them onto chipped, ceramic plates. “I caught us lunch,” he announced, pushing one of the plates Katherine’s way. “Eat.”
Katherine baulked. The meat Gerard had dragged in – she was pretty sure it was venison – hadn’t been cooked in the least. It was literally bleeding on her plate.
She grimaced in disgust. “Why even put it on a dish?”
Gerard glowered. “I said eat.”
“How can I eat something that was literally running around and breathing a few minutes ago?”
Katherine was no stranger to eating fresh meat in her wolf form, and before she’d gotten pregnant, she didn’t care how rare her venison was served. She preferred most of her meat pink, in fact. Since she had fallen pregnant, however, and she’d temporarily lost her ability to shift into her animal form, most meat turned Katherine off. Especially of the red variety.
“It’d be no problem to cook it a little over the fire-” Serena spoke up from where she continued to stand and take in the scene. Gerard had handed her a plate of venison as well.
“That won’t be necessary, Serena,” Gerard snapped, interrupting her mid-sentence. “I don’t think the problem’s the meat.” He eyed Katherine. “I think the problem is that this ungrateful bitch has been spoiled rotten.” He reached forward and allowed his fingers to toy with some of the soft, brown hair that framed Katherine’s face. She stomped down the urge to swat his hand away. “Rest assured, I’m doing her a favor by reacquainting her with her more primitive side.” He released her hair a
nd nodded towards the exit. “Now take your food back to your hut. There’s a deer carcass outside that needs to be gutted.”
Serena nodded. “Of course,” she hastily agreed, shooting Katherine an apologetic glance before taking her leave.
Gerard pushed the plate of raw venison, a tiny puddle of blood pooling beneath the slab of meat, even closer to Katherine. “You can eat this or nothing at all,” he said. Then he sat and began digging into his own portion, gnashing chunks of pink muscle and white fat between his blunt teeth. Blood dribbled down his chin.
Katherine fought not to puke at the sight. So her choices were to either die via starvation or food poisoning?
That was wonderful. Just... wonderful.
* * *
Bastian didn’t come for Katherine the next day. Or the one after that, either.
She didn’t think she could have gone more than the first day without giving in and attempting to nibble on the raw meat Gerard continued to shove under her nose if it wasn’t for Serena. Her belly had felt like it was caving in on itself, guilt licking at her insides whenever she felt her growing baby squirm or kick in protest at the lack of food, when the woman had arrived the morning before with provisions.
Katherine sat near the fire pit, using the large basin of water warming by the flame and a rag to wipe away what felt like a month’s worth of grime clinging to her skin. She’d already cleaned her face and had her sleeves bunched up past her elbows, attempting to scrub away the dirt that was stubbornly sticking to her arms.
Katherine didn’t even know how it had gotten there. She was still wearing the shirt Melanie had bought her in Vanderhoof.
Scrubbing the dirt from her body served a dual purpose: it improved her hygiene, of course, and served to distract her from the gnawing pit of emptiness that was her stomach. The organ felt like it was twisted in a permanent cramp, and worry for her unborn baby had Katherine eyeing the slab of meat that Gerard had thrown on the table for “breakfast”.
She was seriously considering trying to eat it and was internally debating the best way to consume the food that Gerard had so “lovingly” supplied her – taking slow, tiny bites or just shoveling the whole thing in her mouth and swallowing it as fast as she could – when Serena peeked inside the hut and shuffled inside.
“Good, you’re here,” Gerard exclaimed when he spotted her. “I need you to watch her,” he demanded, nodding towards Katherine, “while I go check the bear traps.”
Serena nodded. “Has she eaten?” she asked softly – worriedly.
“No,” Gerard answered, his eyes hardening, “though I hardly see why it’s any of your concern, Serena. She won’t starve herself; it goes completely against every self-preservation instinct we have.”
Serena didn’t look convinced, but nodded her understanding. “Right.”
“Don’t let her talk you into giving her anything,” he added firmly, to which Serena offered another nod.
Gerard turned his attention back to Katherine at the girl’s compliance, squatting down so he was at her level. He took her roughly by the chin, forcing Katherine to meet his eyes. “Be good, lovely,” he ordered shortly before taking her by surprise and roughly pressing his mouth to hers. Katherine didn’t have time to react to the dry lips suddenly forcing themselves on hers when Gerard just as abruptly released her, rising back to his full height.
He grinned at the panicked anger undoubtedly alit in Katherine’s eyes. “I’ll be back in an hour,” he informed Serena offhandedly, offering Katherine one last leer before turning and leaving the hut.
Katherine glared at his retreating form. The man was just so... so...
There weren’t words to describe what kind of monster he was. Besides sadistic, Katherine supposed. And cruel. Barbaric fit too.
Katherine gave up on washing her arms, throwing the rag she was using back into the water basin in frustration as she finally acknowledged the truth to herself: the filth covering her arms wasn’t dirt at all, but faded bruises from the rough treatment she’d suffered at the hands of Lukas and Gerard the past few days.
“Are you okay?” Serena asked hesitantly.
Katherine directed her glare – and all the inner turmoil she was feeling – at her in response. “What do you think?”
Serena bit her bottom lip, shuffling fretfully from side to side before approaching Katherine. “I think you’re probably really hungry. Here,” she said, pulling out what looked like a handful of nuts from a pocket of her apron.
Katherine stared at the small pile of dehydrated walnuts and almonds. “What-?”
“I stole them from our dry food storage,” Serena explained, a nervous sort of tremor in her voice as she glanced at the door of the hut. “I don’t care what Gerard says. You need to eat something. I mean, I know it isn’t much, but-”
“No,” Katherine interjected sharply. “No, Serena, this is great. I mean, I... thank you,” she finally said, popping one of the nuts into her mouth. She forced herself to eat the tiny, protein-packed, morsels as slowly as possible in an attempt to trick her brain and stomach into believing that the snack was more than just that... a snack.
Regardless, a few minutes later, the nuts were gone. Katherine shamelessly licked her fingers, trying to glean every last bit of flavor from the seasoning that had stuck to her digits.
Serena frowned at the display. “I’ll bring you more tonight,” she assured. “I promise.”
Serena kept her word and had been sneaking Katherine an array of food from the pack’s dry food storage ever since. It always felt more like Katherine was meeting with a back-alley drug dealer for a quick fix than Serena just sneaking her food. She brought her more nuts, two jars of preserved fruits, and just the night before, she’d dared to roast some beans over the fire for Katherine.
Despite knowing that Serena must have been feeding her something because the meat he kept offering Katherine remained untouched, Gerard continued to leave her alone with Serena often. Katherine used the many opportunities to try to convince Serena to set her free.
“You’re a good person, Serena. I know you know that Gerard holding me against my will is wrong.”
“Think of the baby. This stress can’t be good for him. And what about after he’s born? Is he supposed to grow up without his dad? Am I just supposed to move on without my mate?”
Katherine even tried to entice Serena to come with her back to Haven Falls.
“You shouldn’t have to live like this, either. There’s electricity in Haven Falls, and indoor plumbing. Plenty of warm food, clean clothes, and companionship.”
“Don’t you want to know what it feels like to be a part of a real pack? Find a mate someday, maybe? How are you going to do that here?”
So far, nothing had worked.
“I-I can’t just leave him, Katherine. And I can’t let you leave him either. All of that stuff sounds nice, but I owe Gerard everything.”
Still, Katherine was convinced that Serena would come to her senses over time. She could already see little cracks forming in the girl’s mental armor. She could see the guilt swimming in her eyes whenever she focused her gaze on Katherine’s belly, and Katherine caught her trying to peek at the claiming mark on her neck more than once, curiosity and even longing painted on her face.
Despite her obvious interest, though, Serena never asked Katherine anything about her mate. Katherine didn’t volunteer any information, either.
In fact, she tried not to think of Bastian at all. At least, not during the day. At night, when she closed her eyes, thoughts of Bastian were all her mind could conjure. How was he dealing with her absence? Was he eating? Sleeping? Had he come any closer to finding her?
The worry that enveloped Katherine whenever she thought of him drove her batty, which was why she made the decision to save thoughts of him for at night, compartmentalizing her feelings so she could keep her wits about her during the day. She had to, or she’d go insane with worry.
As a result, however, her days were
rather dull. Boredom was never a feeling Katherine thought she’d ever associated with being kidnapped and held hostage against her will, but... there it was, nevertheless. There just wasn’t anything to do.
She was kept in the hut day in and day out and only ever offered the company of Gerard or Serena. They didn’t even let her go outside to use the bathroom. Instead, whenever she had to go, Serena would fetch her a large pot that she did her business in. Then Serena would empty the container outside. It was beyond humiliating; it was dehumanizing, but hardly the worst aspect of being held captive.
It was a strange thing, teeter tottering between boredom and an intense combination fear and panic all day. It felt like she was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Gerard to... well, to...
Katherine grimaced, trying not to think about that either.
She just wished she could go outside. She yearned to breathe in the fresh, wintry air and be able to do something as simple as listen to the snow crunch under her non-existent boots or brush her hand over the rough bark of a pine tree.
If Katherine knew the manner in which she’d be granted her wish that afternoon, however, perhaps she wouldn’t have longed for it quite so much.
Gerard was gone – perhaps hunting or lording over someone other than Katherine for a change. Serena was kneeling by the fire, washing clothes. She would dunk them into a basin full of snow-melted water before scrubbing them against an honest to God wooden washboard. Katherine only knew what it was because she’d seen a few while watching Little House of the Prairie as a little girl.
Gerard was the only person she’d seen who consistently wore furs. Everyone else new she’d encountered since being kidnapped – granted, that was only Serena and Lukas – wore normal clothes made of cotton and denim. Much of what Serena wore, however, showed obvious signs of wear. Shirts were faded and stretched out. Pants were ripped in places. Serena was currently washing a maroon sweatshirt with a gaping hole in the arm that had a University of Minnesota logo on it.
