"But what can I do? She'll be so ashamed of me."
Joshua shook his head. "She won't be. When you come home, she'll be so relieved to see you, it'll all be forgotten. Forgiven," he said.
Laura's eyes widened. "You think she'll forgive me? You must be crazy," she said harshly.
Joshua sighed quietly. "I know you've had your problems at the ranch. Life wasn't the way you wanted it to be," he said.
"That's putting it mildly," she said. "Tell it to Eli."
Joshua's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Laura shook her head. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it," she answered.
"Has Eli been bad to you, Laura?"
She frowned and her jaw tightened. There was no way she was going to have discussion about her brother Eli with Joshua McKenzie, here on this boardwalk.
"If he's the reason you left, then there's some talking that needs to be done," Joshua said.
Laura shook her head. "I'm not going to talk about him."
Images of her mother flashed into her mind. Laura recalled the happy childhood she'd had; how hard her mother had worked to make the ranch a good place to live, even after the death of Laura's father, leaving Eli in charge. So many good, happy times had been won in the face of so much hardship. Her mother had always put Laura before Eli, always made sure that her daughter was happy.
The images made Laura's heart ache. She felt her eyes moisten. She wouldn't cry. Back at the restaurant she'd fought back the tears, and she presumed she could do the same here, on the boardwalk. But for some reason the tears couldn't be held back, nor the sobs that accompanied them.
Laura glanced up at Joshua and saw the worry in his eyes. Before she knew it his arms were around her, and he was holding her close. For a brief moment she stiffened, intending to pull away from him, but there was something about his embrace that was deeply comforting, reassuring to her, in spite of the impulse to deny how it felt.
Laura sobbed into his hard chest. Joshua held her close. The feelings of despair and regret that threatened to overwhelm her subsided in the face of his tender yet respectful touch.
Laura didn't care what anyone who saw them thought. They may look like an embracing couple but she knew they were anything but that. Joshua McKenzie was only doing what he'd always done. He was being one of the best friends she'd ever had. As she stood there, her breathing beginning to calm, her thoughts starting to clear, she already knew what she had to do to put right the terrible mistake she'd made.
CHAPTER FIVE
It was like coming home to a nightmare. Laura sat next to Joshua on the buckboard seat and stared at the Thorne ranch house. It lay down in the valley, at the end of the trail, a two storey building, white boarded exterior, a wide, dusty yard and corral out front. Barns, stables and outbuildings were dotted around the main house, a landscape as familiar as any other from her childhood. It had been her home for as long as she could remember. And now she was being driven back to it, disgraced and filled with remorse. She didn't know how she was going to react to walking in the front door. In the fading light of the late afternoon, the house looked vaguely menacing.
Thoughts of her mother filled her mind. She glanced at Joshua by her side. He hadn't said much since they'd arrived by train at the Great Falls station. She'd been grateful for his silence. It had given her some time to think about how on earth she was going to ask her mother to forgive her.
"What am I going to say to her, Joshua?" she asked him.
He turned his head to her, keeping a tight grip on the reins. "You'll find the right words, Laura. I know you will," he said slowly. His voice was strangely reassuring, gentle even, with not a hint of admonition or criticism.
Laura looked away and sighed. She just hoped her mother was well enough to appreciate that her daughter had returned home, albeit in disgrace.
The buckboard drew up in front of the house. Joshua jumped down and came around, extending a hand to assist Laura. She let him help her down. He took her bag and handed it to her.
Laura looked at the house, wondering what she was going to find inside. Joshua gazed at her and nodded imperceptibly without saying a word. There was a strength in his gaze that seemed to affect her, allowing her to draw something up from deep inside herself. Just as she started toward the house the front door opened and Eli Thorne came striding out.
Eli looked at Laura and his face changed color. There was no pleasure at seeing her, no smiles, no welcoming arms, merely an ill disguised fury. Narrow dark eyes peered at her from under deeply furrowed brows. His dark hair was unkempt. His shirt was open at the neck, the buttons of his plaid shirt loose. His shirt sleeves were rolled up showing off his thickly muscled arms and tight fists. He strode toward Laura.
"What in tarnation do you think you were doing?" he demanded, his voice a barely contained roar.
Laura took a step backward and pressed up against Joshua, who rested a hand lightly against her waist. Joshua stepped around Laura putting himself between her and Eli. "We need to talk, Eli," Joshua said going toward the irate brother.
Eli didn't even look at Joshua. His eyes were fixed firmly on his younger sister. Laura looked at Joshua wondering what he was going to do. Was he squaring up to fight with Eli? Why was Joshua even concerned about what was going to take place between herself and her brother?
Joshua held up a hand. "Now hang on there, Eli. Your sister's been through a lot. You need to give her a chance to explain," he said.
Eli hesitated and stopped. "What's there to explain? She ran off. Don't know why. All I know is she darn near put mama in the ground," Eli said pointing back at the house.
She gasped and covered her mouth with a hand. "Mama!" she cried out, looking up at the window where she guessed her mother lay, possibly clinging to life.
Joshua laid a hand on her shoulder. Eli looked at the gesture and his eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you call me before you went running off to get Laura back?" Eli asked Joshua.
He locked eyes on Eli. "You were too busy with the herd. There wasn't time to find you," he answered.
"I have to see her," Laura exclaimed breaking into a sprint, and racing past Eli, who made a vain attempt to halt her. She had to get inside, see her mother, explain everything, apologize to her. Anything that would take away the pain.
From behind her she heard Joshua speak up again. "Eli, I need to speak to you about something real important. Let Laura be. She needs to see her mama."
The voices of the two men faded away. It didn't matter what the two men were going to talk about. Racing toward the door, all Laura could think about was what she would find when she finally made it up the stairs, along the hall and into her mother's bedroom.
****
The darkened room was lit by one candle. The curtains were drawn tight. In the soft light Laura saw her mother lying on her bed, a small figure, covered in bedsheets, pillows propped up around her head. By her side was seated their housekeeper, Mrs. Cole. The housekeeper turned, her eyes widening, her mouth opening. Laura had never seen such an expression of worry on the kindly woman's face before. From that she could only guess the perilous condition her mother was in.
Mrs. Cole stood as Laura entered the room. Laura's shoes sounded hard and noisy on the wooden floor. Laura froze on the spot. Mrs. Cole lifted a finger to her lips.
Laura looked down at her mother and stifled the sob that threatened to burst out from her. A wave of emotion flooded through her at the sight of her mother's pale face and drawn cheeks.
"How is she?" Laura whispered.
Mrs. Cole looked down at Belinda Thorne and nodded slightly. "She'll be better now that you're here," she murmured.
Laura took the seat next to the bed. Mrs. Cole left the room.
Belinda Thorne's breathing was soft and regular. Her eyes were closed and Laura thought that her mother looked strangely peaceful, considering what she had been through in the last few hours.
Laura's own breath seemed unnaturally loud, and she tried
to still it. A moment later she was startled by the voice of her mother.
"Is that you Laura?" Belinda Thorne asked.
Laura leaned closer to Belinda and tried to hold back the cry of relief she felt rising up inside herself. Laura took her mother's hand in her own, grasping the cool fingers gently. "It's me mama. I'm home," Laura said quietly.
Belinda Thorne's eyes opened slowly. Laura's heart thudded as she saw her mother gaze at her. "Laura. It is you," her mother said in a soft voice.
Laura leaned even closer. "Mama. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."
Belinda's eyes narrowed slowly. "It's alright Laura. You're home. That's all that matters," she said.
Laura saw Belinda try to raise her head up from the pillows. "Don't move mama. You need to rest."
"I just want to see you, child," Belinda said.
Laura moved her face so that the candlelight shone on her. A smile lit up the face of Belinda. "That's my girl," she said.
Laura felt her eyes moisten.
"Don't cry, Laura. There's nothing to cry about. I'm going to be fine. I just need to rest a bit. But I'll be fine. Now that you're home."
Laura took a deep breath, drawing back the tears. She reached out a hand and shifted a loose hair away from her mother's forehead. "You are so beautiful, mama. You always have been."
Belinda smiled gently. "Where did you get to, Laura?"
She was taken aback by the suddenness of the question. "I made a mistake, mama. I thought I knew what I wanted, but it turned out I didn't."
The corners of Belinda's eyes creased. "You always were headstrong. Even when you were young you always acted before thinking," she said.
Laura smiled. "I know. And you spent all your time putting me back together again every time I fell down," she said remembering times in the past when her mother had appeared as if from nowhere, preventing one crisis after another.
"Maybe I have to do that again," she suggested.
"This is the last time, mama. I'm not going to be so stupid again. I promise you," Laura said.
Belinda closed her eyes and took a deep breath, settling her head back on the pillow.
Laura felt a rush of anxiety. "Do you need anything? A drink of water?" Laura asked.
Belinda sighed and shook her head slowly. "I need something far more important than that," Belinda said slowly.
Laura's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Belinda's eyes fixed on her daughter's face. "I need to feel that you're safe. That you're happy and that your future is secure," Belinda said.
"But I'm home. This is where I belong. I know I ran away. I was foolish and I know that. You do forgive me, don't you?"
Belinda paused and Laura wondered what her mother was going to say. Belinda's eyes brightened momentarily. "There's nothing to forgive. You're my daughter. I could never think anything bad of you," her mother told her.
Laura felt the emotion surge within her once again, a veritable tidal wave. She stiffened and tightened a fist, willing herself to maintain self control. This was more than she deserved. Laura wanted her mother to punish her, tell her that she was worthless, that she was an ungrateful wretch. It was the least that Laura thought she deserved.
But Laura knew her mother would never say any such thing to her. Belinda had always been firm but fair; strong but gentle. A wise woman and a loving mother.
"But there is one thing I want for you. Especially after what you did today."
Laura stomach suddenly fluttered with nerves. What was her mother going to say?
Belinda reached out a hand. The movement of her arm was slow and slightly labored. Laura took her mother's hand and noticed it was warmer than a moment before.
"You got one thing right in what you did, Laura."
"What was that?"
"Understanding the importance of marriage," Belinda said. The words sounded odd, strangely final in the confines of the quiet, dark room.
Laura frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I think it's time you settled down."
Laura felt the blood drain from her face. "Settled down?"
Belinda smiled at Laura's reaction. "That's right. I don't know the details of the man you were thinking to marry. But all I do know is that, whoever he was, he wasn't the right man for you," Belinda said, her voice starting to become firmer, more assured. Laura wondered where her mother was suddenly drawing all of this strength from.
Laura lowered her head, averting her eyes from her mother. "He was horrible. I thought I knew him from our correspondence. But he was a vile man."
"Letters are no way to get to know a man. Your father and I were sweet on each other for years before we got married."
"You mean you both were friends before you became man and wife?"
Belinda nodded. "That's right. We even went to the same school together when we were children. It just seemed right that, when the time came, when we were older, to promise to spend the rest of our life together," Belinda said. "It was fate," she concluded with a gentle smile.
"But who would I marry, mama? There's no-one I can think of. No-one I've been sweet on," Laura said.
Belinda's eyes narrowed and she fixed her daughter with a disbelieving look. "Really? No-one?"
"Truly. There's just no-one." Laura shook her head.
"Oh, I think there is," her mother said. "And you know who I'm talking about," she continued. "Don't you?"
Laura frowned. "I don't," she stated. A uneasy feeling was rising in her middle. She had a sudden urge to call Mrs. Cole to come and help. Anything that would spare her from hearing what her mother had to say next.
Belinda Thorne raised her head and looked at her daughter. "I'm talking about Joshua McKenzie," she said.
Laura's mouth dropped open. "Joshua? What about him?" she managed to say eventually.
Belinda sighed. "I'm saying I want you to marry Joshua McKenzie."
CHAPTER SIX
"How could she be so foolish? Running off like that," exclaimed Eli.
Joshua leaned against the wooden railing of the corral next to Eli, making sure he kept some distance between him and Laura's irate brother. Joshua looked up at the candlelight glow from the upstairs window in the house, and wondered what was going on up there. "Laura must have had her reasons," he said slowly to Eli.
Eli smacked his hand hard against the wood. "Laura always did lack common sense," he declared.
There had been no screaming, no yelling of recriminations from inside the house. He didn't know how poorly Belinda Thorne was by now. When he'd left her to go and collect Laura, Belinda had been distraught. But not sick. He feared she'd taken a turn for the worse while he'd been away.
Joshua glanced at Eli. "I'd say Laura's always had a mind of her own. There's nothing wrong with that," he said.
Eli gave Joshua a puzzled look. "Tell me what happened. My mama won't tell me a thing. Neither will Mrs. Cole. No-one's giving me the details. Spill it," he said harshly to Joshua.
Eli peered into Joshua's eyes, waiting for a reply. Joshua sighed and looked out across the valley. How much should he tell Eli? If Eli's own mother didn't want him to know that Laura had run off to get married then, sure as heck, Joshua wasn't going to give him anything more than the bare minimum of facts.
"Laura's been upset lately. Seems she's had a lot on her mind. She just wanted to get away for a while. Get a chance to think. Figure things out," Joshua explained, hoping that it was enough to satisfy Eli. By the look on the man's face it wasn't going to suffice.
"What's wrong with her? She's got everything she needs here. What's there to figure out?"
"She may be your sister, but she's also a young woman. She's got her worries," Joshua said.
"She causes so much trouble around this ranch. You have no idea," Eli said.
"It can't be easy for a young woman living on a ranch."
"Others do it. Why can't she. A day doesn't pass when she doesn't moan and complain about how miserable she is,"
Eli said.
Joshua frowned. The younger Laura Thorne that he had known had always been free spirited, full of life, looking forward to the future with hope and optimism. In one sense Eli was right. The woman Joshua had rescued earlier that day was a very different person to the one Joshua had known for so many years.
"Maybe she needs a husband," Eli declared bluntly. Joshua stiffened in surprise and averted his eyes, not wishing to show his reaction to that suggestion. Eli had no idea how close he was to the truth.
Eli twisted around and cocked his head. "You and Laura have always been friends," he said, his eyes narrowing. "I guess you might know a bit more about her than me. I'm only her brother, after all," he said, sarcasm filling his voice. "What did you come over here for this morning anyway?" Eli demanded.
Joshua drew in a deep breath. The man lacked any tact or sensitivity. Joshua had never liked Eli. They'd been friendly rivals for years. The young rancher had inherited the spread after the death of Laura's father, a man who Joshua had genuinely loved. Jeb Thorne been a gentle and generous man. His son, Eli, was nothing like him. Joshua had often wondered where the anger and dissatisfaction that seemed to constantly rage inside Eli had come from.
"I came over this morning to see your mother about something."
"What about?" demanded Eli.
Joshua hesitated, wondering how much of his own affairs he should share with this man. Eli didn't deserve the whole truth. Not after the way he'd just spoken about Laura. "I need some capital. Extra cash to tide me over to the transporting time. I'm taking the herd to market soon. But I need some funds to keep me going. Your mother offered to help out."
Eli's eyes narrowed. "I heard things were getting tight for you. One of my men was talking about it the other day."
Joshua frowned. Nothing could be kept secret for very long in these parts. "You know how it is with the banks these days. Payments on the ranch have to be made. Your mother has always been good to me. Your father helped me keep the ranch going," Joshua said glancing at Eli, who seemed to be lost in thought.
Joshua's Montana Bride (Sweet, Clean Western Historical Romance)(Montana Ranchers and Brides Series) Page 3
