by Minot, Diana
Whitney opened her laptop and tried to focus. With midterms next week, and the specter of searching for a summer job haunting her, she needed to focus on processing the massive amounts of legal information she still was not confident she understood. Elise and Jamie had tried to convince her to study at a coffee shop with them, but she declined. If she spent the evening in a noisy shop with her two chatty friends, she was almost guaranteed to get nothing done. She forced herself to start outlining the concepts that she had been learning in her contracts class, but paused every few minutes to stare out the window at the blackness of Lake Michigan.
She toyed with the idea of texting Ben, justifying her desire to see him by telling herself that he would make a good study partner. She hesitated, wondering how he would react. If he agreed, that was a good sign, right? But if he declined, it could mean so many things. Maybe he was tired, or already had plans with Alex. Or maybe he had plans with Kate. Whitney played different possibilities over in her mind, and several times she reached for her phone to text him, only to change her mind and put the phone back down before hitting send. Her laptop’s screen remained mostly blank as she flipped mindlessly through her Civil Procedure casebook.
In the end, Ben made the decision for her. As she reached for her phone for the umpteenth time, she looked up and saw Ben walking across the library toward her. He was carrying a box of coffee and a couple of spare Starbucks cups. She set her phone back down as he set the box of coffee on the table.
“Hey,” she said, trying to sound casual. She felt nervous and hoped that her hair and makeup were not a complete disaster. She would have primped some if she had known he was going to show up.
“Hey. I thought we had a deal that you were going to let me know when you needed a library study partner.”
“That was before you spent the entire evening yesterday with Kate,” Whitney wanted to say. Instead, she just shrugged and evaded the question. “How did you know I was here?”
“Elise told me. I ran into her and Jamie at Starbucks. Hence the coffee.”
Whitney wished she could hug and punch Elise at the same time. She had tried today to act like Kate’s constantly hanging onto Ben’s arm last night had not bothered her, but she knew that Elise and Jamie both knew better.
“May I?” Ben asked, gesturing toward the chair across from Whitney.
“I don’t have snacks,” Whitney said, a little too sarcastically. She mentally kicked herself. What was she doing? Trying to drive him away on purpose? Her nervous streak was going to end any chance she had with Ben. She started to say something to soften her reply, but before she could get any words out, he spoke.
“I do. I figured it was my turn.” Ben smiled and fished a small bag out of his messenger bag. He opened it and began placing an assortment of snacks on the table, mostly nuts and chocolate. Expensive looking chocolate. Whitney reached for a piece labeled as salted caramel and unwrapped it. The dark chocolate hit her tongue and she savored the way the salty and sweet flavors blended in her mouth.
“Okay,” she said, smiling coyly. “I guess I’ll let you stay.”
Ben sat down across from her, looking pleased. “Now I know the best way to bribe you,” he said, and started pouring out two cups of coffee from the coffee box. The aroma from the coffee hit Whitney’s nose, and she realized how tired she was. Last night’s shenanigans had been a bad idea. She sipped the coffee, grateful for the comforting feeling the warm liquid gave her.
“Where’d you disappear to last night?” Ben asked as he fired up his laptop. “I barely saw you.”
“Oh, um, Elise and I snagged seats at the bar, so we decided to hang out there,” she said. It was technically true. Ben accepted this explanation without pressing for further details, and Whitney wondered if he knew the real reason. She tried to remember if she had said anything incriminating to Alex on the walk home that he might have passed along to Ben, but her memory of that whole conversation was hopelessly fuzzy. Alex had barely spoken to her today, and she hoped she had not said anything to make him angry. She made a mental note to text him later.
The library was almost empty, since most students seemed to prefer studying at home or in coffee shops. Sitting alone with Ben in the dim light felt almost romantic, and Whitney wanted to postpone studying for a while to chat with him and enjoy the spread of snacks and coffee he had brought. But Ben was all business tonight. He started flipping through his books, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Whitney told herself that this was evidence that having Ben around for a study partner would indeed keep her focused. There was no need to feel guilty about spending time with a crush if that crush was contributing to her legal education, right?
The next few hours passed quickly, and Ben and Whitney barely spoke. The coffee and pile of snacks on the table slowly dwindled, and Whitney managed to get a fair amount of work done. This should have made her happy, but as 11 p.m. neared, she was feeling irrationally upset. The few times Ben had spoken, it was only to ask Whitney what she thought of a specific case or legal doctrine. The evening felt businesslike, and lacked the friendly banter that had defined their last study session together. Whitney was convinced that Alex was wrong. Ben was not interested in anything more than friendship with her. Given the choice between Kate, with her money, pedigree, and perfect body, and Whitney, with her disorganized career path and lack of any real social connections, who could blame Ben for choosing Kate?
Whitney slammed her casebook shut. “I have to go,” she said tersely. “The library is closing soon, anyways.”
Ben looked up, surprised. He glanced at his watch. “Oh, wow. It’s late. I’m so sorry. I know it’s a bit of a trek home for you. Let me pack up my stuff. I’ll help you catch a cab.”
Whitney shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’m just going to catch the bus.”
“Whitney, you can’t be serious! It’s so late, and the bus is going to take forever to get back to Lakeview. And I’m not sure it’s safe for you to be riding public transportation alone at this hour!”
Whitney felt like snapping at him that not everyone could waste money on cab fare whenever they felt like it, but she managed to keep her frustration in check. “I’ll be fine. I’ve ridden the bus home this late several times already.”
“I feel badly for keeping you out so late.”
“Don’t worry about it. I would have been here anyways.” This was a little bit of a lie. Whitney probably would have headed home much earlier if Ben had not been here. She had been hoping he would finish working at some point and suggest they grab dinner again, and she was irritated that this had not happened.
“Well, in any case, this has been great. I’ve managed to finish a lot of the work I wanted to get done.”
“Good.” Whitney was almost done packing up her things, but Ben had not put a single book back into his bag. Whitney’s irritation grew. She was dreading the bus ride home, and she was not going to wait around any longer while he took his time leaving. She felt like a fool for spending so much of the evening anticipating some sort of indication from Ben that her feelings toward him were mutual. Whitney’s heart ached as she took in Ben’s gorgeous blue eyes and thick, mussed up hair. He was out of her league, in so many ways. She could not torture herself like this anymore. Tonight was the last time she was going to spend hours studying with him. She should have never allowed herself to have feelings for him. She should have listened to Rachel, and to her own better judgment, and focused solely on acing law school. That was what she came here to do.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked. Whitney’s face must have betrayed some of the frustration she was feeling.
“I’m fine,” she said. “But I have to get going. Now. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
“Wait, please,” Ben said, and finally started gathering up his books. “Let me take you home, at least. I have a car at the apartment. It will only take a minute to walk over there, and then I can drive you home.”
Whitney hesitated. At this p
oint, she felt upset and wanted to get away from Ben. But the idea of a quick car ride instead of a long bus trip was overwhelmingly tempting. “Okay,” she agreed.
Ben finished putting his books away in silence, and a few minutes later, the two of them stepped outside into the dark October night. The air was sharp, and Whitney tucked her bare hands deep into her coat pockets. She needed to buy some gloves. Her winter weather wardrobe was severely lacking. She had underestimated how much it would cost to buy winter gear for Chicago. Last weekend, she tried to get a head start on buying a heavy coat for the snowy, freezing weather that would soon be closing in on Chicago. She went to the North Face store on Michigan Avenue and nearly had a heart attack when she saw how much it would cost to buy a proper winter coat there. Her mother suggested she order one online, and she had. In a few days, Whitney thought wryly, her inexpensive, off-brand winter gear would arrive. Then Kate could once again revel in the knowledge that she was better dressed than Whitney.
When they reached the garage at Ben’s apartment building, he led her to a black Ford Mustang. It was a nice car, true, but Whitney was a little surprised that he drove a Ford. She had been expecting a Mercedes or BMW, and somehow felt a little better slipping into the passenger seat of a Ford instead. The drive was silent, save for Whitney’s occasional directions to Ben. Lake Shore Drive was quiet, and Whitney stared out the window as the dark waves of Lake Michigan whipped against the shore. The wind was fierce tonight.
Ben pulled to a stop in front of Whitney’s apartment building. She started reaching for the door handle, but was startled when she suddenly felt Ben’s hand on her harm.
“Whit,” he said. He sounded nervous and did not look her in the eye. She waited for him to continue, not taking her eyes off of his face.
“Whit, I really enjoy studying with you. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.”
Whitney felt her heart pounding. Her arm felt like it was on fire where his hand was resting on it. Ben finally turned and looked at her. His eyes were dark, and searching. He slowly slid his hand down her arm and covered her hand with it. Whitney felt like her whole body was on fire, and she willed herself not to tremble. She had not felt this way at a man’s touch in so long. Her anger and irritation were forgotten, and she desperately wanted Ben to lean over and put his lips on hers.
“I was disappointed when you and Elise took off at the bar last night,” Ben said. His voice was husky, and he started stroking the top of her hand with his fingers.
“I wish I had seen more of you. It just seemed like you were…busy,” Whitney said. She tried to remain calm as Ben continued stroking her hand.
“Maybe we can go get margaritas together one night, just the two of us.”
“I’d like that,” Whitney said.
“It’s a date, then,” Ben said, and then leaned over and softly kissed Whitney’s lips. “Have a good night, Whit.”
The kiss was short, but exhilarating. Whitney’s lips tingled the whole elevator ride up to her apartment, and she did a happy dance as soon as her front door closed behind her. He liked her! Ben Parks liked her! She could not stop smiling as she began getting ready for bed. She could hardly wait to tell Elise and Jamie about this. Kate could be a bitch all she wanted to, but it did not matter anymore. And it would be a responsible relationship. Even skeptical Rachel back in Texas would have to agree. Ben and Whitney had accomplished a great deal together tonight. He was not going to distract her from getting ready for exams.
Whitney collapsed into bed and grabbed her phone to set the alarm. It was almost midnight, and she had a class at 8:30 the next morning. She needed to sleep, but it was hard to still her racing mind. She replayed the kiss over and over, putting her fingers on her lips where Ben’s lips had touched them. Maybe law school was going to be a worthwhile investment, after all.
Chapter Eleven
The next morning, Whitney took extra care getting ready for class. She would have loved to flat-iron her hair, but she did not have the time. She did blow-dry it into smooth waves, and she made sure her makeup was flawless. She wore a chunky gray sweater dress over black leggings and black leather boots, and added turquoise earrings for a pop of color. The outfit was more winter than fall, but Whitney felt as though it might as well have been winter with the cold spell rolling into the city. For a Texan, this felt similar to the middle of February. Whitney pushed the thought of February in Chicago out of her mind as she rode the bus down Lakeshore Drive into downtown. The sky was gray, and the lake reflected a similar somber tone. Gone was its beautiful ocean-like blue from August and September.
Whitney was unfazed by the dreary weather outside, though. She was still doing cartwheels on the inside, thinking about Ben’s kiss last night. She could hardly wait to see him today, and she particularly hoped that Kate would see them together.
Whitney’s phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down to see an incoming text from Ben. Good morning, beautiful. Had a great time last night. Can’t wait to see you today! Whitney’s body flooded with a warm, excited feeling at the sight of the message. She was almost unable to believe that after all this time of feeling lonely and not finding anyone, that this amazing man with whom she was infatuated was interested in her, too.
Her phone buzzed again and she looked down to see a text from Elise. Whitney had texted Elise and Jamie last night to see if they had time to meet for a quick coffee before class. She could hardly wait to debrief them. Whitney smiled as she read Elise’s text: This better be good. I hate getting up at the asscrack of dawn. Whitney didn’t think 8 a.m. was exactly the asscrack of dawn, but Elise, who had a long theory on the importance of beauty sleep, was a fan of sleeping until at least 9 in the morning whenever possible. Whitney was not sure how well Elise would handle eighty hour workweeks at a big law firm, but it probably did not matter anyways. If Elise hated it, she still had her parents’ money to cushion her.
At 7:55, Whitney arrived at the Starbucks a few blocks away from the law school. Elise was already there, and had claimed one of the oversized armchairs. She was holding a Venti cup in one hand and using her other hand to scroll through an article on her phone, probably from the New York Times. Elise made it a habit to read the front page news stories every morning. In addition to beauty sleep, Elise was always praising the value of staying informed about current events. In fact, Elise had quite an impressive list of life rules. She could be a bit dramatic about them, but her philosophies were pretty sound overall.
Whitney ordered a black drip coffee, then made her way over to Elise. Elise waved and gestured toward the armchair next to her, pulling her large Louis Vuitton tote out of the way as Whitney sat down.
“Hey! Jamie should be here any minute. She’s on her way over,” Elise said, just as Jamie walked into the café. Jamie made her way through the growing morning crowd and sat on the arm of Whitney’s chair.
“You don’t want to grab a drink?” Elise asked, stowing her phone in her bag.
“No, I’ve already had three cups of coffee this morning. I need a break. I’ve been up studying since six. I’m nervous about midterms.”
“You’re crazy,” Elise said. “Don’t discount the value of sleep. And why are you wearing UGGs, by the way? They’re so ugly, and it isn’t even cold enough out for them yet.”
Jamie opened her mouth to reply, but Whitney could not wait any longer to share her news. “Ben kissed me last night!” she interrupted. Elise and Jamie both turned and stared at her, shocked.
“What!” Elise exclaimed. “Details, now!”
Whitney told them about their long, silent study session, and then about Ben’s ending the night by driving her home and kissing her good night. Elise was in a frenzy, demanding to know how long the kiss was and whether Whitney had talked to him yet today. Whitney showed them the text Ben had sent her earlier, and Elise seemed pleased. Jamie, however, had not said much, and had a slight frown on her face.
“What’s wrong, Jamie?” Elise asked. “
This is such great news!”
“It’s just weird,” Jamie said. “I saw Ben and Kate walking to school together this morning.”
Whitney felt her chest tighten, but tried not to look too concerned. “Alex said she’s been stalking him like crazy.”
“Kate is just trying to weasel her way into his business,” Elise said. “And Ben is just being polite by walking to school with her.”
Jamie said nothing, but her frown deepened. Whitney wanted to press Jamie for more details, but Elise looked at her watch and sprang to her feet. “Oh, shit, guys, we have to get going or we’re going to be late for class.” The conversation was put on hold as the girls rushed to the law school and into the classroom with little time to spare before class began. Ben smiled warmly and waved at Whitney when she entered the room, but Whitney could not shake the uneasy feeling Jamie’s frown had given her.
* * *
Over the next week, Whitney’s worries faded as she and Ben spent almost every spare moment together. With midterms looming, most of that time together was spent studying, but it did not matter. Whitney was just happy to be with him. She cherished every goodnight kiss, and she craved the tingling feeling she got when his hand brushed against hers. Ben drove her home every night, too, which was a nice change from riding the bus. Kate was not blind to the amount of time Ben was spending with Whitney. Instead of backing off, Kate seemed to make an extra effort to monopolize as much of Ben’s time as possible. Kate lived in the same apartment building as Ben, so she found numerous opportunities to “accidentally” cross paths with him. Whitney would have been more bothered by it if she had not been so busy trying to squeeze in as much studying as possible.
The more Whitney studied with Ben, the less intimidated she felt by him. He may have studied at Stanford, but she could easily hold her own against him during their late night library sessions. In fact, she often felt that she understood the study material better than him. He suggested they exchange notes to compare what they had each taken away from the lectures thus far, and Whitney was surprised at how much better her notes seemed to be. She felt relieved and smug at the same time. Maybe she had overblown her feelings of inferiority. The night before their Civil Procedure midterm, Whitney gave Ben a copy of her study outline. She hoped he would be impressed by it. He may have been born into the world richer and better connected than she had, but she was just as smart as him. She hoped that he would focus on that, and not on the parts of her background that did not fit well in his world. Elise and Jamie constantly assured Whitney that her insistence that Ben was out of her league was ridiculous, but Whitney felt like they could not understand, since they had a similar background to Ben.
