“On it, Mr. C.”
When Greyson headed off to get ready, Emma began waddling toward the door.
“Uh, going somewhere?” Chris asked. “It’s too early for the meet.” He really hoped she wasn’t going to try to make a break for it. If she did, he’d certainly scoop her up and handcuff her to his side.
“I need to talk to a Russian.”
He lifted a brow.
“Do you need backup, or do you want to shoot him in the privacy of his own place? Asking because I will have to be your alibi and clean it up.”
She laughed.
Chris would too.
He’d always have her back.
Only, she wasn’t going to kill Dimitri.
She was going to do something worse.
Make him understand the meaning of family.
* * * G R E Y S O N C R O F T * * *
Dimitri’s Place
Downstairs
Dimitri was struggling like never before.
He’d been battered, bruised, and betrayed, and with each pain he was inflicted, he’d managed to walk away without a problem. He was cold like that.
Only, now, that wasn’t the case.
It was hard to pack up his things. He wasn’t planning on taking much, and that was likely for the best. It would be a hassle to transfer all of their possessions.
He’d take almost all of the kids’ things since they would have a harder time with moving. It would be an adjustment. While Greyson told him the city was his, it couldn’t be.
Each day there would be a reminder.
He’d lost the people he loved, and he felt like the world’s biggest asshole.
He’d faltered.
The only reason he’d let them see him struggling was because he really believed that they would have him and try to get him back on his feet.
Clearly, that was not the case.
He’d made enemies.
Now it was time for a retreat.
His days of being in security were over.
It was time to be a dad.
He had one last job to do, and it was them.
Then…
Fuck it.
For now, he’d get Sam and Petra into a new place, and then he’d replace everything for them.
While he knew it wasn’t good to upheave children, he had to move. There was no way he could live beneath people he loved and damaged with his own stupidity.
Again, he’d betrayed them for a woman.
AGAIN.
While Dimitri knew Poppy was the one, he couldn’t handle that something switched off in his brain, and he’d been abusive to the people who loved him.
THE ONLY people who loved him.
He’d physically assaulted the man who called him brother when others looked down on them. Greyson had opened his arms, and welcomed them, and he’d shit all over it.
How did he come back from that?
You didn’t.
The truth was out there. He was a monster like his father. That ambivalence…he’d seen it before in the man who made him, broke him, and then died by his hand.
As he put some of his things in his suitcase, only enough to get them through a few days, he found that note he’d written for Emma.
It was the one he’d left in case of his death. While Greyson had read his, Emma hadn’t seen hers.
At first, he hesitated.
His first instinct was to rip it up and toss it in the trash. That was exactly what it was.
Garbage.
His heart was broken too. She’d promised to love him no matter what, and that was anything but the truth. When he was struggling, and failing, he’d been deserted.
There was that age-old pain in his soul.
His life was always destined to be that. The people who he’d been attached to always left.
His mother.
Natasha.
Marissa.
Poppy.
And now…Emma.
They walked, leaving him behind, and when SHE had promised. Maybe he should throw it away since it was a deeply personal thing that he’d put on paper for her and it no longer mattered.
To him.
Clearly, to her.
Then, he opted to do the opposite. Despite it all, he’d give her the last piece of his soul.
Cradling it in hands that had seen so much violence, he walked out, placed it on the kitchen island, and then went back to pack.
Someone would find it when he was gone, and they’d make sure she received it.
Would it buy him forgiveness?
No, but she deserved to know what had once lived in him, and now was empty and cold.
As he packed his things, his heart was empty. He’d failed Poppy, not able to protect her. He’d broken people who loved him, refusing to put them first.
He’d lost it all.
Dimitri knew one thing for sure. It would be his swan song, and his most important thing.
His children.
He was done trying to love anyone but them.
Dimitri simply didn’t have it in him.
Ever.
Sam and Petra would be it. They would be the last people who ever touched his heart, and when they were old enough, he’d just leave them too.
Why not?
Dimitri knew what he was good at.
He was evil, wicked, and a monster.
The world deserved better. If he was lucky, one day, Sam would end him.
Like he’d done his father.
And Dimitri would deserve it.
* * * G R E Y S O N C R O F T * * *
Dimitri’s Condo
Monday
Mid-Morning
Emma knew this was going to be difficult. She was so damn angry at the man behind the door. Dimitri had damaged something so precious in their unit. You didn’t turn on family.
Not for a man.
Not for a woman.
Not for money.
Not for glory.
You just didn’t.
Turning on someone who always had your back, and who loved you, wasn’t part of their code.
Vegas loathed them, and their core was all they had. If they couldn't love each other, who would? If they couldn’t protect each other, who would?
Yeah, they needed to have a come to Jesus talk.
Dimitri had crossed that last line, but she needed him to know why she was angry. It wasn’t that he’d sulked or felt bad. It wasn’t that he’d gone behind their backs a couple of times.
No.
It was because he broke her husband.
That.
Was.
It.
Greyson had lost his brother in this, and while Dimitri wasn’t blood, he was chosen to be that role in her husband’s life.
In all of the years she’d known him, Greyson had always held himself back.
He was aloof.
Other than Curtis and Chris, he didn’t make friends, he didn’t keep them, and he didn’t have anyone but his brother in his circle.
Together, Greyson and Dimitri had built something, and she didn’t like where it ended.
This was a mess.
She really didn’t want to leave Las Vegas. Emma liked the town—minus the mire of killers who were screwing with them.
She loved the people.
The culture.
The way it felt vintage-y to her.
It was of old mob men and gangsters, and it was their home. They’d come here and began a good life, and she wanted that in her life.
So, despite being pissed at Dimitri, she was going to help save her husband’s heart.
Something needed to be said.
As she reached his door, she punched in the code to enter and closed it softly behind her. When she entered, she couldn’t hear anything.
Was he even there?
To make sure, she sought him out.
Walking into the kitchen to find him, she instead found a note on the counter.
To her.
That
was…odd.
Uh, okay.
Clearly, Dimitri had something to say to her. Since it was his place, and his mess, she’d let him go first—by way of letter.
Picking it up, she saw the writing was his, and that intrigued her. She could only IMAGINE what was going to be inside.
It was surely going to be one hell of a message from him—there was no doubt.
Using a knife from the counter, she slit it open and pulled the very masculine paper from it.
Immediately, she knew it was his. She’d seen it on his desk not far away in the family room. It had that classy elegance that she’d come to expect from him, and at the top, there was his monogram.
Bringing it to her nose, it smelled like Dimitri.
How did she know?
Because that scent spoke to her. It was the cologne her brother wore, and it took her to a different place. It gave her strength when she was weak.
It transported her to a different time when her world seemed so calm and steady.
He gave that to her too.
Once she smelled it, Emma knew the truth. She began cracking under the memories. She didn’t want to hate Dimitri. She wanted to smack the stupid out of him so he could come to his senses.
Hopefully, this letter would give her some insight into what the bloody hell he’d been thinking.
As she unfolded it, she noticed it wasn’t in English.
Of course not.
The Dimitri she’d come to love and know would use his mother tongue, something she’d learned for him. It was their bond.
It was their thing.
The use of Russian, and that, for some reason, made it a million times more intimate.
Emma was now beyond curious.
She slowly read it, translating it to the best of her ability. She struggled with some of it, but she got the gist of it.
And it staggered her.
‘My dearest Emma,
If you’re reading this, I’m dead. I’ve gone after my brother, and he’s likely ended me. I can’t say I’m surprised. I always knew I’d go out like this. I always knew in the pit of my stomach that I’d die alone in some shithole—all of the while suffering.
Well, I’m there.
It’s my destiny.
Only, for the first time in my life, I was wrong. It’s not as bad as I thought. Why you ask? I’m not alone. You are always with me. I can hear your laugh, recall your scent, and feel you lying beside me when no one deemed me worthy of any kind of contact. You made me feel, and for the first time in my life, I regret dying.
You filled all those holes in me. You freely gave me love and wanted nothing in return.
Because of you, I began loving life. The first day you saw me, you stared into my soul. While Greyson didn’t trust me, for some reason you did. You didn’t see the killer Randall had hired to do his dirty deeds, but a human being. You gave me something unconditional, and with the promise to always love me. Thank you for never faltering from that.
Thank you for keeping your word. It meant everything to me.
In my life, I’ve had very little love. You know that, but what you don’t know is I took that emptiness and filled it with you. I would look at Greyson and think what a lucky bastard he was, but then it hit me.
I knew why you filled me.
It wasn’t sexual, or that of a woman I wanted to be intimate with—not that way. Our intimacy was different. It was that of a mother. You became that one thing I never could buy or steal. How does a wretch like me get the love of a mother when his own tossed him away? How did I get so damn lucky?
You’ve always given it freely, and especially when I fucked things up. I’ve done that a lot in my life. I’ve hurt people, I’ve damaged relationships, I’ve broken hearts, and most of that was with you and Greyson. I don’t mean it intentionally. I just don’t know how to behave. I tried. Please believe that. Anything I did, it was because I was damaged.
You gave me peace. I understand now what unconditional love is. It’s the love of a mother, and I thank you for that.
Please know that I know I’m not the easiest person to love. I’m cold, I’m hard, and I’m broken and glued back together again in odd ways. I’ve never gotten over my past, but with you, I realized I didn’t have to be anything but me. You loved Maximillian when I couldn’t even utter his name. For years, I couldn’t even say his name. He was the dirty little secret I held locked away. I was ashamed of him because no one could love him—not even a mother.
Then there was you.
You gave me a gift so precious. You gave me family, and I only wish I had the time to meet your little one. That’s one small regret. I won’t see your precious little child enter this world.
I am sorry for that.
I don’t have the words to tell you how much I love you for how you’ve accepted me, how you’ve never looked down on me, and how you never hated that I was a vile animal on so many levels.
When I screwed-up, you forgave, and that is astounding to me. No one has ever forgiven me without a cost.
A priest wanted money.
People in my life wanted favors.
You…you wanted me to know I was worthy.
God, Emma...
That is a gift I can’t even begin to explain to you. It’s like being in a desert, ready to die, and then finding enough water to make it one more day. I was filled with desperation, destitution, and since you—hope.
I knew I would die at some point, but I never knew I would die with someone loving me as I am. I never saw that coming. I hope one day when you stop hurting over everything I’ve done in selfishness that you’ll remember that I will forever be your Max, and in a way, you will forever be the woman who loved me when no one else did.
Only with you can I trust my secrets and sorrows. You are the precious mother that every lost boy deserves. Your child is lucky. Maybe, if there is a God, I will see you one day. Maybe, if I’ve done enough to redeem myself, I’ll escape Hell and be able to hug the people I love one more time.
You.
Greyson.
Your son.
You are my heart, Emma Croft. Don’t change. That love in you is a miracle. It saved me. In the end, I didn’t die alone. You were who I was thinking of with my last thought. I went to my maker in peace and with redemption.
I love you, and forever will.
You are my angel.
Always, and with adoration,
Maximillian.’
Well, shit.
That wasn’t fair.
As Emma stood there, she wiped her eyes. It was easy to make her cry, but this…
Jesus.
This was a wake-up call. She needed this note more than anything. All the while, she’d been angry, and not seeing it from his perspective.
On top of that, for the last few hours, Vegas had nearly contaminated her too.
As she stood there in condemnation, about to lecture a man on how a family always has your back, she was a hypocrite.
A huge one.
This town had nearly made her what she fought so hard not to be.
Cold.
Angry.
Bitter.
She accused Dimitri of not understanding, but she’d done the same thing to him, as she rallied around her husband. He was right. She promised to always have his back. Emma had vowed to love him unconditionally, and she couldn’t let him think otherwise.
It was time she apologized.
She could have easily defended her husband and not tore into him like she was facing down the enemy.
A mother’s love was a delicate balance, and she was trying to learn on the fly. In all of her life, she never thought there would be this many people who called her ‘mom’.
As she tucked the note into the envelope, she heard him in his room. Creeping down the hall, she watched him from the doorway.
The weight of the world was on his shoulders.
He looked broken, damaged, and ready to throw in the towel. Her heart mel
ted. His words had broken through, and the anger was gone. In its place, there was that need to explain.
“Leaving?” she asked.
He actually jumped at the sound of her voice, and that was more proof that he was not in a good place.
One did not sneak up on Dimitri Gideon.
Ever.
When he turned, he took two steps back to put distance between them.
It told her everything she needed to know. Emma knew what he was doing. Emma had watched him do that many times before as he prepared for battle.
He was getting ready for a barrage.
“Emma.”
She held up the note.
His face said it all.
He was horrified.
“I just read it in your kitchen.”
That hung there.
Dimitri was embarrassed. Inside that envelope were all of his personal feelings. He’d written them down as his final farewell to a woman he loved.
One out of his reach.
Yet, one so fully entrenched in his heart.
“You weren’t supposed to get it until I was gone,” he stated, keeping all emotion from his voice. While he wanted to be angry, he couldn’t with her.
Not with Emma.
She was the only comfort in his life. He wouldn’t tear into her. Dimitri had already destroyed Greyson with his hate.
“I know.”
He looked uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry,” she stated.
He stared at her in a second of confusion. Was she talking about what he’d written? What did she have to be sorry about?
“For?” he asked, hoping she’d clarify for him.
Dimitri was definitely off of his game.
“I let all of this twist me up and tie me in knots. Instead of being angry with you, I should have tried to figure out a way to get to you. You’re lost, moya lyubov’,” she stated, calling him her love.
His heart ached.
It actually squeezed in his chest like someone’s hand was around it, trying to crush what life was left in it.
In a way, it was his death.
He’d lost it all.
No Justice_A Croft Mob Family Book Page 10
