After all, he offered to leave so the Crofts would be safe. He knew it would kill him, but he couldn’t let anyone suffer because of him.
Had she told him…
He was no longer angry. He understood that protective nature from a cop, and from Poppy.
He respected it.
“I’m the ONLY one trying. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t sleep. I can’t feel. I cry at random times. I’m afraid to sleep alone. You don’t seem to care. All you want is to hurt me for leaving. Well, you have.”
But he did understand.
He really did.
Now.
“Why didn’t you ask me to help you? I want to help you, Poppy.”
She laughed and faced him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
“Right, because you hate me. I had to make a choice, and I did it. I get it. You’re angry. I get it. I hurt you. Well, you’re not exactly being kind.”
Oh, he was aware.
Dimitri held a grudge, and it looked like it was making her hurt.
“I made dinner. I thought you’d see it and think…‘she’s trying. I’ll trust her a little more.’ I thought that if you saw me wanting to be here, you’d want me here. You don’t.”
Poppy pulled on her sneakers.
“Feed the kids. I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Where will you go?” he asked, seeing her walk away again, and knowing it was going to kill what was left of his heart. It was funny how he didn’t realize that until this moment.
He needed her as much as she needed him.
Sam was right.
They were a family created out of pain, travesty, and destruction of the human spirit. They were all broken, but together, they fit.
They were whole.
His family, with her, was complete.
Poppy had been willing to die alone to protect Petra and Sam. That was the most amazing, precious thing anyone could give him.
He loved her for that.
He loved her so much.
“Does it matter, Dimitri? I’ll go out there. I’m going to go out there tomorrow, and face Jeffrey Raye. If he ends me, it’s on my terms. If he kills me, there’s nothing he can do to me that’s worse than this. I fell in love, and I was fine without it. Now I have nothing left, and he can rape me, torture me, and end me. It will just put me out of my misery.”
His heart hurt.
He’d broken her more.
In his not knowing the whole story, he’d shattered what was left of Poppy.
He’d been the only person she could trust, and he’d thrown that into the trash.
Jesus.
“Goodbye, Mr. Gideon. Goodbye.”
With that, she grabbed her bag, moved past him, and walked out of his life.
Dimitri knew he deserved it.
It took him a few minutes, but he gathered himself and went after her.
Again.
Only, when he got to the living room, he found Sam. He was standing there, and he looked pissed.
“What did you do to her?” he asked. “She said goodbye and to take care of Petra. Why did you hurt her?”
How did he explain this to Sam?
Before he could, Sam laid into him.
“She told me what happened to her. I thought she left because of me, and she told me some asshole raped her.”
Jesus.
Yeah, that’s definitely not the actions of a woman playing a game. He didn’t deserve Poppy.
Period.
“She told me she is scared. Cut her a break. She’s a good person. You're always telling me to have compassion when I see someone who is hurting, and she’s falling apart. I know you see it. I know you realize it. Why are you hurting her?”
He didn’t know.
God.
He didn’t know.
What was wrong with him?
“You tell me that compassion is what makes a good man. You suck at it. You hurt her, Dad, and that’s wrong. We want Poppy.”
Petra came over and held Sam’s hand.
“POPPY!” she wailed.
And here it was.
His kids were smarter than him. Sam was right. He’d been an asshole, and even if she never forgave him, he still had to make it right.
For them.
“I’ll fix it.”
“She didn’t do anything, Dad. She was scared. I ran when I was scared. You came and got me. You told me you always would. Uncle Grey promised too. When you love someone, you find them. I’ll go. I’ll go get Poppy. I love her. She doesn’t lie to us, and she is genuine. No one wanted us, but she did. Why can’t you just cut her a break?”
The boy began crying.
God!
He’d fucked this up.
“I’ll fix it, Sam. I promise. I was hurt. I thought she was trying to use you guys to get me to forgive her.”
“So, she asked to be raped?”
He looked horrified as that scene played over and over in his head. He saw her face as he raced in to get to her. He saw the tears, the pain, and the humiliation.
“No, Sam, no woman asks for it. I was wrong,” he said, as Sam and Petra both cried.
He knew he had to fix this.
“Lock the door, I’ll be back.”
He turned off the stove and headed out. Riding the elevator up, he was going to stop at everyone’s place.
And he did.
The hunt for Poppy was on.
On the floor above his, Paris and Tessa didn’t see her or hear from her.
On the next one, Heath hadn’t either.
Above him, neither did Dante and Steele.
There was only one place left.
At the penthouse, he knocked. After a minute, Chris opened the door, chewing on something.
“Uh, we aren’t going out, are we? I’m making love to linguine.”
He didn’t even comment. Dimitri had more pressing things on his mind than busting the man’s ass.
“Did Poppy come here?” he asked.
That alarmed him.
“Uh, that’s not good,” Chris said. “Is she gone?”
He was aware.
“Yes.”
Dimitri purged it all and told him what he’d done. Chris pulled out his phone and called the front desk to ensure she hadn’t left the building.
When he hung up, his face said it all. Poppy hadn’t gone through there.
That left one place remaining.
“Up. She has to be at the pool.”
Dimitri patted him on the back.
“Thank you. I’m not thinking straight.”
Oh, Chris was aware. The man needed an intervention, and he opted to clue him in.
“Cut her a break, Dimitri. She’s not a bad person. She made one bad choice in the heat of the moment.”
“She left because Raye threatened my kids.”
That sat there.
It was clear Chris hadn’t known either.
“I wouldn’t have told you either. You would have gone off half-cocked and done something stupid. She was saving all of you. She’s not the villain, Dimitri, she’s the hero.”
He was aware.
“Poppy did the right thing whether you like it or not. She chose their happiness and safety over her own. I owe her an apology too. He was manipulating her to get to you. I don’t doubt that he wanted you to do something so drastic that it took down the whole family. You are the direct route to Greyson.”
He saw that now.
She’d saved them all.
“I’ll call if I can’t find her.”
He was good with that.
Dimitri ran up the stairs that led to the pool. When he got there, he found her sitting there with her feet in the pool and her bag on a cabana. It looked like she’d planned on sleeping there that night before she left in the morning.
She was crying.
His heart broke.
Dimitri took a seat beside her pulling off his shoes too. Together, they dangled their feet in the water.
“What do you want, Dimitri? Want to shove me off the building too? I’m not destroyed enough?”
He saw that she was.
Here’s where he owned it.
“I lied. I’ll keep chasing you, Poppy. I was angry, and I should be furious with myself—not you.”
She didn’t speak at first.
Then, she gave him what she could. She gave him all of what was left of her, and it wasn’t much.
“It’s fine. Trying to fix this is a waste of your time. You hate me, I’m damaged and I ruined your happiness. It won’t be fixable.”
He knew that wasn’t true.
Deep down, he knew that he needed her in his life. Dimitri loved her.
When she’d left, he felt it.
When she’d been found, he felt it.
When he found that she’d protected his kids…
He knew.
He’d marry her broken, battered, and destroyed, and he’d be lucky to have her. It was time to fix her.
“Why didn’t you tell me when we came for you that the reason you left was he threatened them?”
He didn’t have to say who the ‘them’ was, and that told him everything. Poppy hadn’t lied.
“Because then you’d go insane and go after him. That’s what he wants. He’s sick, Dimitri, HE’S sick. I wanted you to be safe. I didn’t leave out of fear only to have you handed over to him.”
He listened.
“I have never loved anyone before,” she stated. “I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want you. You made me fall in love, and those three months away I learned something.”
“What?”
“That I love you. On top of that, I love them. Sam is the sweetest boy, and when I told him what happened, he hugged me. He walked right up to me and hugged me like I wasn’t defiled and disgusting. I really thought that I could fix this and have them in my life too. I really thought that if he could forgive me for leaving, so could you.”
Yeah, well, he was an asshole.
Sam was not.
“He’s a better person than I am, Poppy. I want to be Sam when I grow up.”
She didn’t laugh.
Instead, she needed to know.
“Why do you hate me?”
“Because I, too, learned a lot when you were gone. I was lost, and I was ungodly. I beat the hell out of Chris and Kat—calling it training. I punched Greyson and hurt him too. I learned that my life was colorless without Poppy in it. I love the color, and I love the woman. I was so hurt. Everyone leaves me, and you were unfortunately trapped in that. My mother, the woman before you. It’s taken a long time to realize I am my own worst enemy.”
She wiped her eyes.
“I wouldn’t have left had he not hurt me.”
She couldn’t say his name.
“I never would have gone. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be part of this.”
He believed her.
“I thought you cooking was some scam, but now I see it was your way of giving me a piece of you.”
“It was all I had left to give. I have nothing anymore. My job is gone. My apartment is gone. My photographs. I have nothing. I have nothing left of me, Dimitri. I’ve been stripped bare of my badge, my soul, and my life. That meal…it’s all I had to give you and your kids that was anything.”
He saw that.
It was the most beautiful gift. Other than Emma, no one had ever cooked for him before out of love.
He’d scoffed at the gift, and he should be ashamed of himself.
And he was.
“It’s not all gone, Poppy. I had everything put in storage. You have it all, Poppy. Even pissed at you, I saved it. I would go there and look through it. Hoping to find a clue how to find you. I saved it for you.”
Well, at least she had that.
“I’ll pay you back. I’ll get a job and get enough back to pay for it. I’m not beat yet.”
He didn’t want her to pay him back.
He just wanted her.
Now he had to fight to keep her. Oh, the universe was funny. Just one hour ago, she was fighting to stay, and now the chase was back on—thanks to him.
“You can’t leave, Poppy. He’ll kill you.”
She looked over at him.
“You giving me a chance at a family and taking it away is what will hurt more. That broke me. He just damaged me.”
And there it was.
Poppy only wanted what he’d craved too. In his haste, he’d neglected to see it.
He’d wanted that family so badly that he’d done anything to get it, and here he was blaming her for trying to hold on to all that was left.
He was blaming her for doing exactly what he’d done.
He was an asshole.
“Stay with me. If you want an apartment after we stop him, I’ll let you go.”
“I’m not that same woman, Dimitri.”
He knew what she was talking about.
“Take sex off the table,” he stated, holding out his hand to her. “Remove it from the equation. Until you’re ready, Poppy, you don’t have to stress that. I can wait.”
She was a little calmer.
A little stronger.
“And if it never comes back?” she asked.
“So? Is that all you think we have? Is that all you think our relationship can be? Are dinners as a family, sex related? Are the kids who love you based on sex?”
She shook her head.
Dimitri got up and held out his hand.
It was a step.
He was battling hard.
He had no choice.
Poppy couldn’t leave. Dimitri realized the truth now. Before, he’d been fighting to save himself, but in order to do that, he had to save her. She was the only way he’d make it.
And she was sinking.
He put his needs aside and found hers.
Dimitri did the right thing.
He saved her.
“Let me show you what we can have, Poppy. Let me show you what it’s like.”
She let him.
What choice did she have?
It was trust him, or leave him behind. If she did that, Poppy knew she’d die.
He led her down the stairs, and to the elevator. In it, they both stood barefoot—him holding her bag.
When the doors opened, he brought her to his door, opened it, and led her in. Inside, Sam saw them and raced at her. He hugged her.
“Stay. I’ll protect you.”
She hugged him and gave him a kiss on top of his head. Yeah, he was the sweetest boy in the world.
“Aunt Emma told me something, and I didn’t understand it until right now,” Sam stated.
“What?” Dimitri asked.
“Sometimes, the best people are the broken ones. They can see the pain and sympathize. I know you see me, Poppy. I see you too.”
Dimitri couldn’t have loved that boy more.
He was a gift.
“I love you, Sam.”
He smiled up at her. “Can we eat? All this mushiness has made me hungry.”
Yeah, that was a good idea.
Food was love.
Dimitri needed to feed Poppy’s empty soul so he could feed his own. It wasn’t about him anymore.
It was about his own circle.
Moya sem’ya.
His family.
They sat down, and Dimitri served them. They ate the Russian food he’d loved growing up, and it became more special since Poppy shared it with him. She’d put love into the meal, and it came out at that table.
The kids ate.
They laughed.
And they wore themselves out.
Dimitri let Poppy tuck them in, since it gave her some peace, and then they washed the dishes.
Together.
It was mundane, it was ordinary, and it gave him more peace than he’d ever felt in his life. Oh, and it gave her happiness too.
When they were done, he didn’t retire to the couch to stare at the ceiling.
Instead, he tucked her in and curled up beside her. After a few minutes, she moved into him in sleep, and Dimitri held her.
Safe.
Protected.
His.
She cuddled, and he held her.
Yeah, he would be okay.
And more importantly, so would she.
Emma was right.
The broken people had the advantage.
And he was lucky for it.
* * * G R E Y S O N C R O F T * * *
Wednesday
Morning
Daily update
When Dimitri and Poppy walked toward the penthouse, it had already been a busy morning.
They’d fed the kids, gotten the tutor started with her day, and had already killed a pot of coffee.
Honestly, it was a nice morning.
They’d woken up holding each other, and Poppy seemed calm. That was all Dimitri wanted for her, and for him.
He’d been down this route before.
First with Kat, and then with Natasha. He knew how to heal a broken soul, and he was hopeful that one day, Poppy would come around.
Before starting work, and entering the penthouse, he stopped her.
“Thank you for last night.”
She was confused.
“For what exactly?”
“Letting me hold you,” he said, pulling a flower from the urn outside the door. There was an array of riotous colors, and he picked a poppy one to stick in her dark hair.
Her heart skipped.
He was back.
This was the man she wanted, and this was the man who wooed his way into her heart. It seemed that they had closed that gap and fixed the mess.
Or they were heading that way.
As if testing her fortitude, she moved closer to his body, went up on her toes, and placed her lips softly against his.
Dimitri actually held his breath.
As she kissed him, he slowly, gently put his arms around her body. It made her move closer, and they shared the innocent kiss.
Dimitri’s heart skipped.
This was a pretty amazing day.
When the door opened suddenly, Kat was standing there and surprised.
“Jesus,” she muttered.
They broke the kiss.
Poppy assumed the look of disgust was for her. She knew Kat was not a fan.
“Katerina,” Dimitri warned, hoping she didn’t tear into the woman. His sister was protective.
No Justice_A Croft Mob Family Book Page 36
