“I don’t think I’ll want to go away, Effie. Couldn’t I just stay here and go to junior college too?”
Effie sniffed. “Walt said it would be a waste.”
I couldn’t believe they were going to make me go away. It was like being cast out, driven from my home. My own eyes filled with tears. “What if I don’t want to?”
“Your father only wants what’s best for you. He says you can be anything you want, Bekkah. He said there are no limits to what you can achieve.”
“What if I want to stay home with you?”
She rubbed the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “I shouldn’t have started this now. It’s just that I talked to Walt this morning before I went to Mobile. He was raving about some new program that would be in place in Missouri by the time you get ready for college. I hate that state. Missouri. He …” She sighed. “He’ll be home for good Friday. The quarter is over and he just has to pack up his things and have them shipped.”
“More books?” I tried to sound funny.
“More books. And papers. But it’ll be good to have your father home with us, won’t it?”
It would be good. The knowledge that The Judge would be there by the end of the week seemed to lift a heavy burden from my heart. I could wait until then to tell him about the bloody dress and all. I could wait two more days.
“Where’s Alice?” Effie was deliberately shifting the subject.
“Mrs. Waltman and Sukey are over at the church. Sukey’s playing the piano for a double wedding, and Alice got stuck with Maebelle V., Lucinda and Arlene to watch. She said it was too hard to try to bring them over here.” She’d asked me to go to her house, but I’d declined. The white dress was all I could think about.
“Well, come on in the house and try on your new clothes for me.”
I didn’t want clothes. I didn’t want to go to school, and I surely didn’t want to go to college and leave Effie and Mama Betts on Kali Oka Road. I followed Effie back into the comforting smells of the kitchen and into my bedroom, where the clothes were neatly stacked.
The bra was as bad as I thought, but I put it on and then the dresses. Effie nodded. They would do. By mid-year I’d have grown out of them, she said. I was already too tall, with arms and legs that Arly said were apelike because of their length. The idea of additional growth was about as appealing as the other “womanly changes” I’d been told to expect. It was going to be a great year.
I was unbuttoning the last dress when I heard something outside the house. It was that pleasant time of twilight in the heat of August when the first breath of coolness can be felt. It was almost as if the house sighed, and a breeze touched the sheer curtains in the windows of my room. I heard Picket barking in the yard before the lights of a car swung through my window.
“Who can that be?” Effie asked. “Arly didn’t say he was expecting any friends.”
“I guess not,” I added, unable to stop myself. “Arly’s friends are too stupid to pass a driving test.”
“I wish that were true,” Effie said under her breath as she went to the screened porch to see who’d come visiting.
There was the murmur of two female voices. I recognized Effie’s but not the other. My curiosity got the better of me, and I put on my shorts and went to the kitchen. I almost swallowed my tongue when I saw Cathi Cummings sitting at the kitchen table.
Blond hair spilled down her back, and her skirt was tight and short. She looked at me in the doorway and smiled. “Hello, Bekkah. I was driving through to Pensacola, and I promised your father I’d stop and see you.”
“Hi, Cathi.” I shot a glance at Effie. It was the complete calmness of her face that told me how upset she was. When Effie was angry to the core of her being, her face lost all expression. She looked at me with her mannequin face and her eyes glittered. “What are you doing in Jexville?” I asked Cathi.
“Since I earned my master’s, I decided to reward myself with a little vacation on the beach.”
She was smiling, but she was tense too. What in the hell was she doing in Effie’s kitchen? “Where’s your husband?” I asked into the silence of the room.
“Phil couldn’t turn loose of the desk long enough for a break. He told me to come on my own and he’d try to join me on the weekend.”
“Cathi’s husband is an editor at the Washington Post.” I wanted Effie to know she was married.
“He’s a much better editor than he is a husband,” Cathi said.
I’d never seen a woman drinking, but I wondered if Cathi was. Her face was flushed and her eyes challenged first Effie and then me. Something was definitely wrong with her.
“Did you go home to Hushpuppykenya?” I asked.
“Hushpuckena,” she corrected. “Yes, I saw my parents. They disapproved of me going to Pensacola without Phil, just like they disapproved of me going to graduate school. There doesn’t seem to be much that I do that they approve of.” She waved a hand in the air.
“How about some coffee?” Effie asked. “I was just about to brew a pot.”
“I’d really like a drink. Have any bourbon?”
“No,” Effie said, even though we did. “I drank the last bit last night. Meant to go to the store, but it slipped my mind.” She got up to make a pot of coffee.
When I looked up, Mama Betts was standing in the doorway from the hall. She was taking in the scene with another dose of disapproval. I didn’t think anybody had to explain anything to her.
“Mrs. Cummings is a friend of Walt’s,” Effie said. “Mrs. Cummings, this is my mother—”
“Mama Betts,” Cathi supplied, brightening as she stood up. “I’ve heard so much about you from Bekkah’s father. About all of you. Is Arly here too?”
“He went to the baseball field,” Mama Betts supplied. “He’ll be back. How about some supper?” She didn’t wait for an answer, either, but went to the refrigerator and began to put together some leftovers to warm up. Nobody had cooked because we had the hamburgers from Mobile, but there were lots of things in the refrigerator. In a couple of minutes Mama Betts had Indian corn, crowder peas and okra and some pork chops warming with sweet potato casserole.
“That smells wonderful,” Cathi said. She was supporting herself at the table on her elbows. “I shouldn’t have come here. Walt would be very upset with me if he knew. But I just had to see what it is he can’t leave here.”
Her voice caught and for one awful moment I thought she was going to cry. That would be it. Effie might throw the hot coffee on her. I chanced a look at Effie and saw that careful mask still in place. There was no softening.
“Walt talks about you all the time,” Cathi continued. She was watching Effie pour three mugs full of strong black coffee. Mama Betts kept her back to the table. She was stirring her pots with a vengeance.
“He talks about you and Bekkah the most, but he has plenty to say about Mrs. McVay and Arly.”
It was strange to hear Mama Betts called by her formal name. I couldn’t remember hearing anyone do it before.
“And does Walt tell you how much he loves his family?” Mama Betts asked.
“Yes, ma’am, that’s exactly what he tells me. And he tells me that this road here, Kali Oka, has cast some spell over his wife and children and over him. He can’t seem to leave it any more than he could leave his family. It doesn’t matter that he could have a real future in Columbia.”
Mama Betts filled a plate with food, and Effie pushed a mug of coffee over to Cathi.
“And I’ll bet you tried your best to convince him to stay in Missouri,” Mama Betts said as she placed the steaming plate in front of Cathi.
“I did, which didn’t impress Walt worth a damn.” She laughed, but it had a broken sound. “It seems to be my lot in life to fall for men who always care about something else more than they could ever possibly care about me.”
“Perhaps you should select men who aren’t already obligated,” Mama Betts suggested as she carefully placed a cloth napkin and flatw
are in front of Cathi.
“Sound advice,” Cathi agreed. “Sound advice. And I’ve given it some thought. You see, I think I fall for these men because they care about someone or something else. That was the thing about Walt. He loves his family.” She looked around the kitchen, and her eyes wouldn’t completely focus on me. “Each one of you. And I thought if someone could love me that way—”
“Better drink that coffee before it gets cold,” Effie said. “Bekkah, get your friend some aspirin. Make it three. She’s going to need them in the morning.”
The mannequin face was gone. Behind it was anger, fear, and maybe just a touch of compassion. I did as she told me, unwilling to ignite a scene I knew I would regret.
When I got back to the kitchen, Cathi was sampling the sweet potatoes with admirable appetite. “This is really good,” she was saying again and again. “Really good. I’ve never had this before.”
Mama Betts took a seat at the table. “Eat the food, Mrs. Cummings. You’ve had a bit to drink, and I don’t hold with drinking and driving. You know an awful lot about us here on Kali Oka. Now there are some questions Effie and I would like to ask you.”
Effie waved me onto the porch. I followed her out into the darkness, wondering if I’d be the first to feel the heat of her anger.
“Who is this woman?” she asked.
“One of The Judge’s students. She’s from Mississippi originally.”
“Yes, I’ve gathered that much. What is she doing here in Jexville? Nobody comes to Kali Oka Road on the way to someplace else. Walt is still in Missouri; what’s she doing here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is she someone you made friends with on your little vacation?” The anger was creeping back into her voice. The dreaded vacation, my week of betrayal, was coming back to life.
“Yes, Mama. I met her and she was nice to me. While Daddy was busy, she took me places.”
“Did you invite her here?”
“No.”
“Well, she’s in no condition to drive any farther. She’ll have to stay in your room, since she’s your friend.”
“I’ll make up the sofa to sleep on.”
“Bekkah, what went on between that woman and your father?”
I couldn’t see her in the dark. Was she angry or worried? Judging from her voice, I couldn’t tell. “I think she fell in love with Daddy, but he didn’t love her back. If he did, he’d stay in Missouri, wouldn’t he?”
“Is that what he told you?”
“Not exactly. He asked me a question too.” The anger was like some flower opening up inside my chest. It pushed against my ribs and hurt. It crowded inside me, demanding to get out, to hurt her back.
“What question?”
“He wanted to know why you loved Kali Oka Road more than him, why you expected him to give up his life to live here.” I hit the outside screen door and ran. I heard it slam hard behind me, but I kept running. Picket appeared at my side as I ran harder and harder into the woods toward the spring. I hadn’t asked Cathi Cummings to drop by Chickasaw County. I’d never even told her where I lived. She’d come here on her own. What was happening was between Effie and The Judge and Cathi. I had nothing to do with it. Nothing.
I ran harder along the familiar path, dodging limbs and branches by instinct and memory, but I couldn’t outrun the ugliness. No matter what I told myself, I couldn’t outrun my guilt.
I made it to the spring, each breath a slicing knife in my lungs. Picket was at my side, her breath coming in sharp pants. My fingers found the smooth bark of a wild magnolia that grew beside the little pool of water, and I slipped to the moist, cool earth to catch my breath.
I was ashamed of myself. Terribly ashamed. I’d done the unforgivable, lashing out at Effie with a half-truth to cut her as she was cutting me. I wanted to cry, but my eyes were dry and burning. I reached into the pool to draw some water to my hot face. My fingers caught something in the water, a piece of material.
Involuntarily my fingers closed on it, and I pulled it toward me. It was heavy, something big. As I pulled I saw the familiar material of the white dress I’d buried only ten feet away. But I’d buried it deep, and put rocks and leaves on top of it. It couldn’t be the same dress.
I saw the blood stains all down the front.
My scream echoed again and again on the stillness of the August night.
Twenty-four
CATHI Cummings left in the middle of the night. She came into the living room where I was sleeping and sat on the arm of the sofa.
“I’m sorry, Bekkah,” she said. “I’m sorry and ashamed.”
I pretended to be asleep. I hated her for coming to my home, for bringing Missouri to Kali Oka Road. For hurting Effie. Daddy was coming home in two days, and now she’d ruined it. Effie would be coiled and ready to strike.
“If I could have had a daughter like you …” She brushed her hand over my hair. “There’s something wrong inside, I can’t … Damn!” She removed her hand. “Whatever else happens, Bekkah, know that your father loves you more than anything in the world. Just remember that. No one can ever take that away from you.”
She stood up and I heard her car keys jiggle in her hand.
“Don’t come back here,” I said.
“I won’t. I won’t come here again. I was wrong to come here at all, but I had to see. Now I’m going to try to get a job in Mobile. There’s a paper there.”
“Go back to Missouri. Or go back to your husband.” Mobile was too close.
“I can’t, Bekkah. I can’t go forward and I can’t go back.” She tried for a laugh, but it fell in brittle pieces around her.
“What about your husband?”
“What about him?” She went to the front door, pushed back the lacy curtain and looked out. In the darkness of the room she was a small silhouette. “If there was ever anything worth going back to there, I ruined it when I drove south and came here.” She sighed. “I know you hate me, but if you ever need anything, you can call on me.”
“I have my mama.” I was hateful, and I knew it.
“Sometimes you can’t always tell your mama everything. I hurt you, Bekkah. And I hurt your father and your family. I’m not a fool. I know that. I’d undo it if I could. But I can’t. So just remember. We’re a lot alike, you and I. We see what we want, and we don’t intend to hurt others.”
“I’m not like you, and I’m not stupid. I know you were nice to me to be with The Judge.”
“You’re wrong there, Bekkah. I spent time with you because I liked you. We are alike. Neither of us are hypocrites. If I hadn’t liked you, I’d have made sure I was busy when you were around. I only like you more because you’re Walt’s child.”
“Go away from here, Cathi. Leave us alone.”
“If you need me, call information in Mobile and get my number. Then call me collect. I won’t let you down.”
She walked out the door and into the night. I heard her car crank. The lights swung through the open window across the living room ceiling, brushing the portrait of Effie that Mama Betts had had painted when Effie was sixteen, her dark hair in curls about her shoulders and her lips tinted a ripe red.
I had only to wait until morning to see how terrible it was going to be.
Mama Betts woke me and got me ready for the barn with a sack lunch and a cold biscuit in hand. She also woke Arly and packed his lunch for work at the nursery. She was making a fresh pot of coffee for Effie when I opened the kitchen door to leave. Her pale eyes locked with mine.
“Don’t come back until late,” she said softly. “Everything will be fine by then.”
I knew it wouldn’t. “Cathi’s going to get a job in Mobile.”
Mama Betts nodded. “She can get a job in hell for all I care. She won’t be bothering this family.”
“Daddy could have stayed in Missouri. I mean, if that’s what he wanted, he would have done it. Mama ought to know that.”
“I have a lot of respect for your father, Bekka
h. You’re preaching to the choir.”
“But Effie’s …” I gripped the door handle. “She’s going to blame Daddy for what happened. It wasn’t his fault.”
“Not entirely.”
“It wasn’t his fault at all.” I made myself slow down. “He can’t tell Cathi what to do or not do. You can plainly see that she does what she wants.”
“Yes, I can plainly see that.” Mama Betts had made up a tray with coffee and toast. “Get on out of here before your mother starts looking for you. Since Walt isn’t here to take the heat, you’ll bear the brunt of it if you don’t skedaddle.”
“Well, The Judge will be here tomorrow. Then everything will get back on track.” Just saying the words made me feel better. Walt and Effie might fight and raise hell, but it would be over and life on Kali Oka would go back to the way it had always been.
“Your father isn’t coming straight home.”
I thought that I hadn’t heard her right.
“Close your mouth, Bekkah. You look like one of those Fairleys from down Wilson Ferry Road.”
“Not coming home? Why not? He has to come home. I need him.”
Mama Betts sharpened her gaze. “What’s going on with you, Bekkah?”
“Daddy’s supposed to be home Friday. He said so days ago. I’ve been waiting for him.” My voice drifted to an end. “He promised.”
“I called him this morning and told him what had happened. He’s going to New Orleans first. I’m sending Effie there to meet him.”
“She won’t go. Not now.” Hell would freeze over before Effie met The Judge anywhere, unless it was a lynching tree or electric chair. She didn’t believe in capital punishment, but she was mad enough at Walt to vote for his extermination. I hadn’t forgotten the way she looked and talked the night before.
“She doesn’t know he’s going to be there. It’s a trick.”
“She’s going to murder you.”
Mama Betts shrugged. “I’m too tough to cook and too old to care. I told Walt everything that happened. When I wake Effie, I’m going to tell her that Rita Sheffield called and wants to meet her for the weekend in New Orleans. Effie will go.”
Summer of the Redeemers Page 23
