by Jeannie Lin
At first the household hovered about, uncertain of what to do with her. They addressed her politely as their mistress and would not meet her eyes as they spoke to her. A grey-haired woman who reminded her of Amah took her by the arm and led her into a private chamber. The old woman had a bath drawn as she clucked over the ugly bruises on Ailey’s arms and the rope burns at her wrists. The unexpected sympathy was a sharp contrast to the roughness of her capture.
‘Where is your master?’ Ailey asked. She wasn’t going to waste any time speaking to anyone but Li Tao.
‘Master Li will be back shortly.’
The servants assisted her in her bath, carefully washing around the nicks and bruises from her fight, which had been given enough time to grow dark and brutal. They dressed her in a sapphire-coloured robe and sprinkled her sleeves and collar with perfume, filling the dressing room with the scent of orange blossoms. She wanted to tear the heavy silk from her. She was being prepared as a new bride to be welcomed into the household. The thought sickened her.
The old serving woman who called herself Auntie Jinmei led her out to the sitting room and directed her onto a couch. Auntie’s thin hands worked efficiently, her touch not unkind as she smoothed out Ailey’s skirt and arranged the long sleeves over the discoloured patches on her arm. When she was finished, she backed out of the room in small steps without saying a word.
No more running. Ailey clasped her hands together to keep them from trembling. Li Tao had full rights to her since her parents had agreed to the marriage. Now that she was in his hands he could lock her up, he could beat her for her disobedience. He could do anything he wanted to Ryam. She sprang to her feet at the sound of footsteps in the outer hall.
‘I demand to see the Emperor,’ she said, turning to face the door.
‘I have already summoned your father.’
The calm reply cut through her anger. She staggered back as Li Tao stepped into the room. Her stare fixed on to the wound that slashed over his left cheek. He came to stand before her, stretching to his full height. His armour had been replaced with a nobleman’s robe, but he was no less intimidating.
‘You’re Li Tao?’
His mouth twisted into a smile that did not reach his eyes. ‘And you are Shen Ai Li.’
She had never considered the governor would come for her himself. The expanse of his shoulders and chest loomed before her, forcing her to abandon the assumption that he would be old and soft. She knew he was just over twice her age. His hair was cut short and jet black, threaded with silver at the temples. He hadn’t been this close to her since they had fought. His nose was raised like an eagle’s, his features well defined, starkly handsome.
‘Shen An Lu told me his daughter trained with swords. I didn’t imagine a woman would have the patience to acquire such skill.’
His disrespect lashed out endlessly. He insulted her in the guise of faint praise and called her father by his name instead of Emperor.
Li Tao traced the line of the cut across his cheek with a finger. ‘Since you are the one who marked me, you should have no complaint about having to look at this every day.’
She finally found her voice at his intimation. ‘I’m not marrying you.’
‘You will.’ His response was immediate, uncompromising. ‘You were promised to me and I have gone through considerable effort to find you.’
He came even closer, backing her up until her legs pressed against the edge of the couch.
‘I have known since you were born that I would marry you.’
There was no sentiment in his statement. His gaze fixed on her with feral intensity. She tried to meet it and was reminded of their swords locking in combat, her arms straining to hold up against his power.
Survival instinct had her searching the edges of the room for escape. Her heart pounded against her ribs, but she would not let him intimidate her.
‘Are you plotting against my father?’ she demanded.
He laughed, a punctuated bark. ‘I have fought alongside Shen An Lu in many battles.’
‘You did not answer me. I was told about your schemes.’
He turned his back to her, dismissing her accusation. This had been his method for the entire journey when he chose not to answer. She refused to back down. Treason was a serious accusation to make of a man like Li Tao and she had staked everything on her conviction.
‘I know about the shipment of swords you smuggled into this province. You’re building an army against Changan. If you are truly a man with nothing to fear, then admit it.’
He swung around. ‘Those doddering ministers in Changan think they can control this vast empire. The jiedushi already rule this land, if they don’t destroy it first.’
‘Those were your weapons.’
‘They were,’ he replied calmly.
Despite her suspicions, it still unnerved her to hear the proof from him. ‘You want to break up the empire.’
‘It is already broken.’ He loomed closer. He lowered his voice until it rumbled deep against her spine, unnerving her. ‘There was no need to run to your father. I will tell him myself. I have told him. I can be his greatest ally or I can be his fiercest enemy.’
Li Tao was even more fearsome than she imagined. He wasn’t a simpering politician, grasping for power. He was a warrior like her father. Looking into his eyes, she truly believed he was capable of killing in cold blood, if it served his purposes.
She had to know. ‘Did you have my brother killed?’
Her hands were trembling and she clenched them into fists. She watched the warlord’s grim expression for any telling signs. He gave nothing away.
‘Shen Ming Han was young and brash. Reckless.’
Always that word. ‘You never answered the question,’ she said.
The way his gaze skimmed over her face set her heart pounding. If Li Tao had ordered her brother’s death, she would have to demand his life in return. But she already knew she was no match for the warlord.
‘Does it make sense that I would kill one of the Emperor’s precious sons? For what purpose? Your brother shouldn’t have rushed into battle like that. He was trapped in that valley. Many men were killed.’ Li Tao shook his head. ‘No one will ever know what happened there. But I will tell you this—if it had been me, I wouldn’t lie about it.’
His denial gave her no comfort. She couldn’t sense anything behind his motivations but cold logic and it frightened her even more than his reputation for being ruthless. ‘A man like you will never be loyal to anyone.’
‘Your ideals about honour are ghosts of a dying era,’ Li Tao declared without apology. ‘No one but Shen holds them any longer and that will be his downfall.’
‘I could never marry a man with no sense of honour.’
‘You speak of honour.’ He lowered his face to hers. ‘The barbarian who fought so valiantly for you—how honourable were his intentions after you gave yourself to him?’
A flood of heat rose up her neck. He was standing too close. She would have shoved him away, but that would mean touching him.
‘You were promised to me and you let him put his hands on you,’ he said through his teeth. ‘I should kill him for it.’
The blood drained from her face. He would do it. He was within his rights as her intended husband.
‘If I marry you, will you let him go?’
The thread of control snapped in him. She tried to move away, but he crowded her, blocking her escape and she fell back onto the couch. He placed his hands on either side of her, caging her in.
‘You may carry swords, but you are not a man and this is not a negotiation. If I do not kill this barbarian with my own hands, your father will execute him for the disrespect he has shown for both of us. And for you.’
The anger radiated from him in dark waves that made her tremble. For the first time she had a sense of the power Li Tao wielded: enough power to challenge the Emperor. She was a mere woman, a disobedient child. She already belonged to this man according to l
aw and custom.
‘If you touch him…’ her chest rose and fell with each breath ‘…if you hurt him, I promise you will never have a moment’s peace in your own home. You will never enjoy your marriage bed. I will put a knife in your heart. It may be tomorrow, it may be fifty years from now. I swear it. I am Shen An Lu’s daughter and I will make good on my word.’
She glared up at him, challenging him to do anything, say anything to counter her. He could strike her or threaten her, but she meant every word.
His jaw tightened. ‘They said you were beautiful.’ His gaze slid over her face, lingering on her mouth. ‘They also said you were obedient.’
He straightened slowly, his eyes remaining on her the entire time. When he turned and strode from the room, she sank into the couch, finally able to breathe again.
The next morning, Ailey emerged from her sleeping chamber to see a gown of red silk laid out like a tongue of fire in her dressing room. On the bodice, tiny pearls had been sewn into the wings of a phoenix. The coloured threads hurt her eyes, they were so vibrant. Gold and silver and the purest green like a bamboo leaf shining with morning dew.
Auntie Jinmei stood beside the dress and touched the pearls with a reverent brush of her fingers. ‘Master Li told us you would need to be fitted for wedding clothes.’
Ailey grabbed a fistful of the red silk and marched out to the balcony, the only portal she had been allowed to the outside world. The old woman gasped as she tossed the dress over the wooden railing and leaned over wickedly to watch it fall.
‘Ungrateful child!’
‘Tell Li Tao he can spare the expense of buying me clothes. I am waiting for the Emperor to take me home.’
‘You will make master angry,’ Auntie muttered, shuffling out of the room.
Good. Ailey stared at the splash of crimson on the white stone courtyard below. A breeze rippled the silk. Perhaps the wind would drag the wedding dress into the chasm.
Li Tao had left her alone after their brief encounter the day before. Armed guards stood outside her door and the balcony was too high to escape. She was a prisoner until Father arrived. If Li Tao had his way, she would be a prisoner for the rest of her life.
Alone in the dressing room, Ailey put on a plain grey robe and ran a comb through her hair. Memories of Ryam took hold of her. She closed her eyes and imagined him burying his face into her hair as he kissed her neck. No one would tell her where he was. She pleaded with the servants, but they only averted their eyes and fell silent.
She returned to the balcony and breathed deep to take in the fresh, damp scent of cypress and moss. When Father came, she would swallow her pride and beg that Ryam be freed. She had to find a way to convince him, but nothing came to mind. Father would be angry at her for disobeying. He would be ashamed of her.
He would certainly demand Ryam’s death.
Her parents believed Li Tao to be a good match, yet he spoke proudly about treason and spat on honour as if it was a disease. He didn’t even deny that he was using her for his gain. She couldn’t live each day with contempt, distrustful of her own husband.
Ryam didn’t have power or wealth, but he cared for her. When she spoke he listened, curious and willing to learn. He treated her as if she was important, not a worthless woman. But what did all the concern in the world matter when he wouldn’t allow himself to be with her?
The wooden planks creaked behind her. She’d been too absorbed in her thoughts to hear Li Tao enter. ‘Ai Li.’
The mere sound of her name seemed like a command from him.
‘You and I are not familiar enough for you to address me so,’ she said, staring straight ahead.
‘Lady Shen,’ he amended easily. ‘You are quite disagreeable. Not what I would expect from the daughter of An Lu and Wen Yi.’
She hated the reminder of how well he knew her parents. ‘Break the engagement, then,’ she demanded.
‘Your temperament does not matter to me. It does not even matter that your virtue is no longer intact.’
She turned and found herself staring at his chest. He stood close, his hands by his sides.
Her gaze shot up to his face. ‘Marry a wooden puppet, then.’
‘I would if her name was Shen.’
She glared at him hatefully. ‘You are everything I thought you would be.’
He crossed his arms. This was how he must look before his army. An unyielding warlord, his face a mask.
‘Look down below.’
The way he said it put a chill in her heart. She looked back over the railing.
Soldiers dragged Ryam into the courtyard with chains clamped on to his wrists and ankles. It took three men to subdue him. They grabbed on to his arms and shoulders and forced him onto his knees. She gripped the ledge, her nails digging into the wood as her heart plummeted to her stomach.
Ryam struggled against his captors to look up. Frightful bruises marred his face.
‘I’ll kill you,’ he growled at Li Tao.
The men holding him staggered against the force of his weight as he thrashed and twisted. They finally managed to force him down, shoving his face against the ground.
‘You’ve been torturing him,’ she cried.
‘I am not a monster,’ Li Tao said in disgust. ‘He fights my men at every chance. They might be forced to kill him in defence.’
The quiet threat nearly broke her resolve. He was testing her bold declaration from the day before. He came forwards to stand beside her. The raw edge of his scar showed clearly in profile. She steeled herself against whatever threat he was about to make.
‘Marry me and I will release him.’
‘And the others?’
‘The others as well.’
She was beginning to see the sort of man he was. Emotionless and unpredictable.
‘You refused such an offer before,’ she said warily.
‘It is offensive to me to let your lover live.’ He stared at Ryam with contempt. ‘But I do want sons and I will not force my own wife. And I do not relish the thought of a knife in my heart from a woman who is quite capable with swords.’ His gaze returned to her. ‘Marry me willingly and I will let him go. I rarely compromise.’
‘You’ll kill him anyway.’
‘Only the weak need to lie,’ he replied and she knew he meant it. There was no reason for him to lie to her. He had the higher ground, all the advantage, all the power.
Ryam continued to fight even while forced to the ground with a knee pinned on his back. She withered inside to see him taken down. He would fight to the death. That was the one thing he knew how to do.
‘When your father comes, he will take my side in this,’ he said with cruel reason. ‘Do you think he will feel any sympathy for the man who defiled his precious daughter?’
Ailey pressed a hand to her stomach, trying to force out the ache and the hollowness that ate at her.
Li Tao circled for the kill. ‘You were alone when I found you. You were returning to the empire without him.’
It was true. She had laid herself bare and asked Ryam to go with her and he had refused. She had already lost him.
Her throat tightened unbearably. ‘I will marry you if you let him go.’
She couldn’t feel her fingers any more or her feet. The weight of her body left her. She would need to remain without feeling for the rest of her life to survive.
The men still held Ryam to the ground. Every time he tried to lift his head, they shoved him down. He bled from a cut in his mouth. This was the last she’d see of him, broken and bleeding.
Li Tao reached up and gripped the back of her neck. She fought the urge to shake him off.
‘Swear it to me, Ai Li,’ he said with razor softness. ‘If you swear it, then I know your word is good.’
She hated him. She hated herself for being unable to fight back.
‘I swear it.’
Slowly he released her. He rested his hands on the rail beside hers. The signet ring given to him by the August Emperor gl
eamed on his second finger.
‘Go down to him and tell him what is to happen.’
Li Tao’s warning followed her as she retreated from the balcony.
‘If I see him touch you, I won’t be able to restrain my temper. He will die, our agreement be damned.’
She went down alone. With each step she knew Li Tao would be watching from above.
The men let Ryam up when she stepped out into the courtyard. He straightened, the iron chains hanging from his wrists. Ailey’s heart cracked open when she saw how pale he looked. The hollows of his cheeks were sunken and mottled with bruises. Behind his ravaged face, his eyes shone bluer than ever.
Ryam looked her over, his face full of concern. ‘How are you? Are you hurt?’
He would think to ask about her when he looked so battered. She almost broke before him.
‘I am well.’
He started forwards and she recoiled from him. Confusion clouded his expression.
He was still so beautiful to her. She bit hard into her lip, but the tears came anyway.
‘You are going home and I am going to marry Li Tao.’
‘No.’ Ryam glanced up to the balcony. ‘That bastard is forcing you to do this.’
He pushed away the guards and surged towards her. The guards hauled him back and shoved a blade against his neck. At that moment she would have done anything, sworn anything to save him.
‘Stop,’ she begged. ‘Please stop.’
‘You don’t have to do this.’ Ryam strained against his captors, ignoring the sword at his throat. ‘My life isn’t worth anything.’
‘It is to me.’
The chains rattled. He would not stop fighting. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
‘It is your nature to seek death, but it isn’t the only way, Ryam.’ She closed her eyes to shut away the pain and anger on his face and willed herself to walk away.
She had to go before he got himself killed. It would happen some day. He would rush into some situation without thinking and it would be the end of him. But today she needed to know that she had sent him home safe.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he shouted after her. ‘Ailey! Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.’
