by Sara York
"I wish it would have happened a bit differently, but I'm glad I finally kissed you. I'd planned on telling you about my feelings soon, but then you'd been shot…I couldn’t wait."
His phone buzzed and he picked it up, seeing a text from Grant. 10 until we meet - OK?
"I need to hop in the shower. We'll talk tonight." Tucker brushed his lips over Billy's before stepping away.
"Tonight." Billy grabbed his shirt and left the room.
The loss was almost painful as Tucker shucked his pants then turned on the water. He needed to take a quick shower but his dick was hard. If he jerked off, he'd feel better but he didn't have time. With a sigh, Tucker turned the temperature to cold, and stepped under the spray. The freezing water got him clean but did little to take the desire away. He wasn't as hard, but it wouldn’t take much, just a few minutes alone with Billy, and he'd be hard again.
Eventually they'd need to tell Duff, but now wasn't the time. Their relationship was too new, too fragile to have Duff's scrutiny.
*~*~*
Roger couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, not yet. He'd acted like this morning hadn't mattered but it had. When he woke up in bed with Grant's dick pressed into his hand it took all of his control not to stroke the man. Fuck, he was huge. Now he wanted to hold that monster in his hands—who was he kidding? He wanted that monster in his mouth and up his ass. He wanted to feel that thing inside of him, taking his breath away and making him forget everything else other than Grant.
That wasn't going to happen. Grant had made it clear enough that he didn't want a relationship. Turning his back on Roger this morning had sent the message loud and clear, he didn't think of Roger that way and wouldn't.
In five minutes he was supposed to be in the command center. His shower hadn't helped him focus, nor had brushing his teeth or shaving. Finally, he looked at his reflection, staring into his own eyes. Grant wasn't the man for him and no matter if they ended up in bed together again or if they never even touched, Grant had made it clear they were only work mates, nothing more.
He pulled on the jeans and dark blue T-shirt that seemed to be his new uniform and headed to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. He ran into Marshal as he came out of the hallway.
"Hey there, partner." He grabbed Roger's shoulders and squeezed. "Oh man, you've got some good muscles there." Marshal's brown eyes were alight with merriment. "I bet all the guys really like you."
Roger chuckled and stepped away. "I'm sure there's some who do." He moved to the coffee pot then turned around. "Um, got a question for you."
"Yeah, what's up?"
His cheeks heated. "So the guys, when they go into town, is there anyone they mention that…you know?"
Marshal stared at him for a moment then stepped close, his lips at Roger's ear. "Cowboy, I'd bend over for you." Marshal sank his teeth into the fleshy nub of Roger's ear shocking the hell out of him. Roger yelped and backed away.
"I thought you were straight." Roger rubbed at his ear.
"I am—just playing with you. Though, I'd seriously contemplate it if you asked. Come on, we've got work to do."
Roger stared after Marshal, unsure if he'd just been hit on by a straight guy or if Marshal was secretly gay. He shook his head and followed after him to the command center. James, Grant, and Duff were already seated. Tucker came in after him, closing the door and shutting out the noise from the house.
"Grant has primary on this task. He'll have final say on the decisions as we go. Roger, most of our missions aren't this complicated. Usually we get information that is fairly cut and dry. Sometimes we have to hedge our bets, but that's one out of every ten missions." Duff passed around iPads after he finished speaking.
"Our target will be at his country home in Grantham for the last half of the month, staying for ten to fifteen days. The place is well guarded. His security system is phenomenal. It's going to kick our ass if we decide to do a close kill. There are a few places we could set up in the trees and snipe him, however, those places are far from private. When I say he's going to be at his country house, it's not like here. His neighbors are close. He lives off Whalebone Lane with his nearest neighbors only a couple of hundred meters away. We'll be sitting ducks and someone will know we fired. There aren't many places to run after the shot that would provide us cover. Basically, his house is a fortress."
Roger pulled up Google Earth on the iPad and zoomed in, staring at the countryside. Flat plots of land, ideal for farming, sat to the north. On the eastern, western, and southern sides houses dotted the landscape. "Any chance one of those houses is empty?"
"No, I've checked. They all have people living in them."
Grant was bent over his iPad, his fingers fisted in his hair. They all seemed frustrated with the situation. It felt like he was back with his unit planning a raid. Though with his unit, everything they did was legal according to the US government and they had back-up. When Grant, Marshal, and James went into England to kill a citizen of that country, they would be breaking laws. They could wait until McKay was caught by the police, but he'd hidden his tracks so well that might never happen.
Placing those murders on McKay's shoulders, holding him responsible for the havoc central London was dealing with right now, that changed how Roger felt about the mission. Yesterday, before they were certain McKay was behind the attacks, he had been against killing the man. Now he wanted blood.
They pitched ideas, each one noted in dry erase on the board at the back of the room. The ideas ranged from poisoning to a direct kill. Locations from London to Grantham were discussed along with a few other places. Exhaustion sucked Roger's energy away. Sleeping with Grant beside him had been comfortable but they'd woken too early. Disappointment filled him. He wouldn't get another opportunity to sleep with Grant anytime soon.
"You okay back there, Roger?" Duff's voice broke the silence.
Roger pushed away erotic images of Grant and focused on the paper in front of him. "Just a little tired. I'm fine."
Duff's gaze shot to Grant, his eyes narrowing. Shit, he'd almost been able to forget that the old man knew he'd slept in Grant's bed. Heat crept up his neck. Shifting in his seat, he leaned over the table, trying to look like he was concentrating.
"Let's take a break." Grant stood and stretched his arms over his head. Roger let his gaze linger on the man for a moment. Duff caught his gaze, his eyes narrowing. "Back in here in forty-five minutes. That gives us until two."
Roger left the command center quickly, heading to his room. He needed food, but first he had to get control of himself. It seemed that Duff thought they'd done something. Before the next session, he should find Duff and explain what had happened. Not that the man would believe him. It sounded stupid to him. Not even a week here and he was already in bed with the second in command. God, what a total idiot he'd been.
A knock sounded on his bedroom door. It had to be Duff. Maybe he was going to be kicked out or reprimanded. He hesitated then braced himself for Duff's questions then pulled open the door.
"Hey," Grant smiled then passed him a plate with a huge sandwich and some chips. "I've got two Cokes in my pocket too. Here, would you grab one?"
Roger reached down, his fingers brushing against Grant's hip as he pulled out the can of Coke. "You didn't have to bring me lunch."
"I figured we could talk while we ate. Most of the other guys are in their rooms too. Billy and Zander made us lunch."
"Oh, that was nice of them." Roger moved to the small table in the corner. Two chairs completed the ensemble, allowing him to eat or play cards on the table with another. The room was fairly large with a desk, a small lounge chair, the table in the corner, and a queen-sized bed along with two nightstands. A dresser held his clothes and a mini-fridge sat beside it. A TV was mounted above the dresser.
He'd lived with a lot less in the military. Having the extras was nice. Maybe this weekend he'd buy a small one-cup coffee maker.
"What do you think so far?" Grant sat down in
the other chair and took a bite of his sandwich.
"It's intense." Roger took a bite and chewed.
Grant met his gaze and smiled. "Intense is one way to put it. We do have a lot of responsibility. Taking a life is never a decision we make lightly. Last night, I swore we were going to turn this one down. I didn't see it. This morning, I'm convinced that McKay needs to go."
"Will we really be able to disrupt his organization enough to make a difference?"
"Yeah, we'll take his money, depositing it in a series of accounts that are not traceable. His contacts will be exposed. His involvement will be made public, maybe."
"What will happen to the money?"
Grant took another bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. Roger thought he wasn't going to answer for a while. It really wasn't his business where the money went, but he wanted to know if it affected him.
After a swig from his can, Grant sat up then leaned in. "How do you think you get paid?"
Roger shrugged, "I didn't think about it."
"The government doesn't pay us, at least not directly."
"Isn't this guy super rich?"
"We'll be splitting the take on this one fairly equally. Duff figures it all out."
Roger blanched. "Um, speaking of Duff. He thinks we slept together last…well we did, but he thinks—"
Grant glanced away and took a bite without meeting Roger's gaze. "Yeah, I probably need to set him straight. I just hoped he'd figure it out this morning as we worked."
"Is this going to be a problem?"
"No." Grant finished off his sandwich then leaned back in his chair, still chewing for a moment. "It won't be a problem. We fell asleep together, end of story."
Roger didn't feel like it was the end of the story. This morning, when Grant had been staring at him with those big blue eyes, it hadn't seemed like the end.
Chapter Eight
Tucker stumbled back to his room. His shoulder throbbed and his head ached. They'd made a decision about McKay. Grant, Marshal, and James were leaving in the morning and would be gone about a week. Funny, before he'd been shot, he wouldn't have been worried when Billy went on a mission. Now, he was relieved that Billy wasn't in the mix.
The door to Billy's room was ajar and he pushed it open, spying Billy asleep on the right side of his bed, the covers draped across his bare chest. Tucker still feared what being gay meant. The other guys didn't know. Not that any of them would care. Most of them were gay and wouldn't give him trouble. Sure, they might joke with him, but they wouldn't be assholes.
He shut the door without making a sound and moved to the bathroom, flipping on the light and shutting the door most of the way before flipping off the light in the bedroom. Billy moved but didn't wake. Tucker undressed and stretched his arm, careful not to pull any stitches. Zander was going to take the stitches out today but he was busy with the mission.
Hot water felt good on his muscles and he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes as the steam built. When a hand wrapped around his waist he yelped and turned his head, finding Billy beside him.
Instantly his mouth was dry. It felt like a thousand pins were scraping against his skin. The pressure on his hip from Billy's hand left him weak. Then Billy cupped his cheek and kissed him, turning Tucker so they were facing each other. All the touches from Billy were gentle and soothing. He forgot for a moment that they were both naked, until Billy moved an inch over, his cock brushing against Tucker's.
Fireworks went off in his body, sending all sorts of electrical stimuli through him, leaving him barely able to function. Then Billy had his hand wrapped around both of their dicks, sliding easily up and down.
Tucker hadn't been expecting this. They were supposed to take things slowly, give him time to figure this out but he was naked with Billy, and his balls pulled up so tight he wondered if they'd ever drop. Then it started. His body flinched and bucked, his brain switching off and his eyes closing. He wanted to keep his eyes open and watch Billy come but everything shut down, even his breathing. Time stood still as his body performed for Billy, giving up everything he had as the man played him like a piano.
When he came back to earth, Billy had him pressed against the hard tile of the shower. "Damn."
Billy's lips teased the corner of his mouth then his tongue was pushing in, demanding entrance. Tucker opened, allowing Billy to take what he waned. He didn't even try to stop him as Billy's hands explored, slipping lower and lower until Billy was touching the sensitive skin behind his balls.
The kiss ended and Billy stepped back, giving him an intense look that made Tucker's knees weak. Then he was spun around to face the wall and Billy's fingers were spreading his butt cheeks and brushing over his ass crease. Tucker jumped when Billy's fingers found his hole. The sensation wasn't like anything he'd ever experienced before. His muscles clenched, his whole body stiffening.
"Relax, let me inside of you."
This is what he feared the most. He couldn’t take Billy, the guy was too huge. "I can't."
"Just my finger, love. One finger."
Tucker closed his eyes, trying to get his body to relax. Billy's arm was across his back, his breath hot on Tucker's neck. His other hand was at his opening, his finger swirling around his entrance. After a few seconds, Billy pressed against his pucker, slipping inside of him.
Pressure filled him, then Billy pushed in deeper. Pain hit him and he clenched down, unsure if he could take more.
"Relax." Billy's finger massaged his inside and he shivered. The sensation was driving him wild. Then Billy moved his arm, sliding his hand down Tucker's side to the front. Warmth filled him as Billy cupped his balls and wrapped his thumb over Tucker's dick.
He pumped his hips, creating friction. Billy added another finger and it was too much. The pain spiked and he freaked out.
"Stop—I can't."
Billy pulled his fingers out but didn't drop his hold on Tucker's balls nor did he back away. "Lover, it's okay, like I said, we'll take it slow."
"It's too much."
"Babe, it's okay."
"But what if it's not? What if I can never do that? Will you be okay with me never letting you fuck me?"
Billy pulled at his shoulder, spinning him around. The water beat down around them and they'd need to get out soon or risk permanent wrinkles. Tucker expected Billy to be upset or pushy, but he smiled and kissed Tucker's nose then cupped his cheeks.
"You aren't mad?" Tucker asked.
"No, babe, there is more to it than just fucking and so much more we can do that is satisfying."
"So if I never let you do that, never let you explore me back there, you'll be fine?"
"I won't lie and say I'll never want to slide into you and feel your hot channel wrapped around me, but I want you. Not just sex. If all I wanted from you was sex, I can get that anywhere. You are what I want. I want to wake up on late nights and find you naked in the shower, like tonight. I probably shouldn't have come in here, but I needed to feel you. This is what I want—us together, loving each other."
Billy leaned in and brushed his lips over Tucker's so gently he whimpered at the softness. All the times he'd been with women, he never felt like this. His body and soul were tied to Billy.
"I've wanted you for so long."
"What?" Tucker shook his head, wondering if he'd heard right.
"Don't freak out, but last year, when we were on a mission in Texas, taking down that drug dealer."
"Yeah, we slept in the same tent, cuddled close. I remember that. I thought you kissed me when I was falling asleep."
Billy smiled and ducked his head. "I did. I wanted to do so much more than just kiss your hair."
"I'm a bit freaked out about how much you want me. This is new to me. I need some time to get used to it."
"I understand." Billy turned off the water and grabbed them both a towel. They dried, Billy showing everything he had for him to see and Tucker trying to stay covered by his towel. Billy laughed and grabbed the towel
. "Babe, I was in the shower with you and we've taken showers together before. I've already seen it all."
"I know, I just—I wasn't gay the other day and now I'm thinking about a relationship with you and I'm…"
"You're what? Afraid of what I'll think about your body?"
"Maybe."
Billy ripped the towel away and stepped back. "Yeah, just as I thought."
Tucker's whole body flamed hot and he reached to cover himself. Working out may have taken away the baby fat that hung around on him until after high school, but he still didn't feel confident.
"Don't cover up." Billy flipped on all the lights in the bathroom, making it almost bright as day.
He cringed and searched for a place to hide but both towels and Billy's clothes were in the closet behind the man. This was close to his worst nightmare.
Billy cocked his head to the side and frowned. "You really are worried about this."
He shrugged and tried to act casual but he failed miserably. Girls always wanted to do it with the lights off. Billy was the first person he was interested in to look at him so directly.
"You are beautiful." Billy flicked off two of the switches, leaving only the soft lighting. "You have a great body and I want to explore all of you."
"I'm not that good-looking."
"Sure you are." Billy reached out and smoothed his hand over Tucker's chest. "You have amazing pecs. Your abs are cut. Look at this little dip, I want to slide my tongue over this little muscle thing and lick until you scream my name. Then there is your face. God, I could stare at your face all day long."
Tucker didn't know what to say. Billy's words had his brain spinning and his head throbbing. No lover had ever talked to him like this before. Billy grabbed both his hands and held them out to his side.
"Tell me if I hurt your shoulder."
"I'm fine," Tucker choked out. The twinkle in Billy's eyes had him worried. "What are you going to do?"
"Nothing right now, but when your arm is healed, I'm going to tie you to the bed and have my way with you."
