by J. L. Beck
“Hey. Are you okay? You looked kind of faraway… out in space or something for a second there?” He asked a worried look upon his face. “I’m fine.”
He squint his eyes at me, as if attempting to gauge my expression to see if it’s a lie. My lips pull up at the sides and I can’t help but let my smile grow.
“So what were you doing with them then?” I ask, trying not to let the curiosity I’m feeling seep into my words. I don’t want him to know just yet what he’s doing has an effect on me. I don’t want him to know that after a week’s time of knowing him, I feel closer to him than I have the people in this town that I’ve known my whole life.
He grabs my hands, the roughness of his skin rubbing against the softest parts of mine. I shift my body more toward his my knee brushing against his. A fire ignites in me every time we touch, every time his gaze glides over my body I feel like he’s dousing that fire in gasoline. Adding fuel to the fire until it turns into an inferno. Until my body, and mind finally give in.
“Marie’s going through a pretty rough time, her parents are getting a divorce, and she's been staying with Corey. I went home with them earlier, and they brought me back to get my truck so I could see you. I have no interest in Marie, and if I did I wouldn’t have approached you. You have no reason not to trust me.” He said a determination in his voice and eyes that I had never seen. He had no idea I had a lot of reasons not to trust him, with his last name being one of them.
“But I don’t really have a reason to trust you either.” I gaze down at my feet. I feel his gaze boring into me, begging me to meet his eyes. His hands glide up my arms and to my shoulders turning me more toward him. My head shoots up, finally meeting his gaze.
Our foreheads push against one another as he holds me in place staring into my eyes. I couldn’t turn away even if I wanted too.
“I know what he did to you, hurt you. It hurt you in a way that I cannot even imagine, and I know that just because we don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean that the pain still isn’t there. Just because we share the same last name doesn’t make us the same person. I wasn’t lying when I said I want to be your friend. In fact I want more, so much more. But you're not ready for that, and I get it. But until I hurt you, give me a chance to prove myself. That not all Winchester boys are assholes.”
Tears well up in my eyes, his words hit in a place I didn’t know still existed. My heart. It’s aching. Aching for the pain, and hate it has developed. It’s also aching because it knows Rex is right. He deserves a chance. I shouldn’t judge him for someone else’s actions.
“Give me time, pretty girl. That’s all I need. I promise you won’t regret it.” He whispers into my ear releasing me and pulling me into a tight hug, if this is what feeling wanted by someone feels like, I never want it to end.
I wipe the stray tears away before asking, “Do you wanna go on the swings?” He pulls back giving me a one dimple smile. “I’ll race ya.” He says teasingly. I roll my eyes at him. “You’ll win you’re like twenty feet taller than me.”
He rolls his eyes at me, amusement twinkles in his eyes. “You're so dramatic. Are you ready?”
I hop off the hood of the car, and right myself making sure I’m covered in all the important places. I look down at my sandal covered feet. This is going to be awesome. Not.
I look over at Rex, a mischievous grin shows on his face and I know he’s up to no good. “Ready….. Set….” just as the word “set” comes out of his mouth he takes off in a dead run for the swing set leaving me in the dust. I walk the remaining distance between us, as he pumps his legs really fast, as if he’s a little kid at heart.
“That was so unfair Rex. You didn’t even say GO. Everyone knows that when you're racing no one goes until the whole sentence is finished. You totally cheated.” I said taking the swing next to him, and pushing off the ground to gain some momentum.
“Guess I missed that part in elementary school. Guess you could say I was a bit of a rebel, I never followed the rules.” He scuffs, as if breaking elementary school rules makes you a badass or something.
“Ooo. Watch out everyone, we’ve got a badass over here.” I say loud, announcing it to anyone within hearing distance. I let out a belly aching laugh as I look over at Rex, his eyebrow is raised at me as if wondering how I question someone like him being a badass. I continue to laugh, and watch as his face turns more serious. Amusement still twinkles in his eyes, but it looks as if he’s deep in thought.
“What?” I ask trying to catch my breath. He shakes his head at me before saying “It’s nothing, really just I never see you laugh. You're beautiful when you laugh. That’s all.”
“Uh thanks, you’re kind of beautiful too?” I say in an amusing tone. He looks at me, his eyes bulging out of his head. “No. No. No. You don’t call a guy beautiful.” I look at him in a confused manner. I guess I’m not seeing why you can’t.
“Why?” I ask.
“You just don’t it doesn’t sound very manly.” He says huffing out a laugh at the end.
“Hey.” I say.
“Uh Hi?” He says looking at me like I’ve completely lost my mind.
“You’re kind of beautiful.” I can’t hold the laughter in anymore. Teasing him is just too fun.
“Really? Well you're, kind of beautiful too.” He says, his voice sincere, growing deeper. The moment goes from funny and light to fiery, and passionate in no time.
“Were both kind of beautiful” I say in a whisper afraid that he might be able to hear the need in my voice. I’m not ready to let him know what he’s doing to me even if my body is.
***
“You bitch, how could you not tell me that Rex kissed you. Better yet that you kissed him back.” Mimi yells at me as we make our way to our lockers.
“Shhh. No one knows, and I’m not ready to say anything. We aren’t even dating Mimi.” This is why you don’t tell Mimi things, she takes them and gets about ten times more excited than need be.
“It doesn’t matter if you're dating. He kissed you. You let him kiss you, plus you kissed him back. That my friend is progress. You're totally going to have him melting in your hands.” My face grew red, and I knew I had to tell someone. It definitely wasn’t him melting in my hands.
“See, that’s actually the problem…” Mimi’s gaze swung back to mine, her eyes growing big. “Oh no you did not. Oh no.” I shake my head yes. “Yeah or at least it feels that way. I’ve known him almost a month Mimi but it feels like a lifetime. I feel myself falling.”
“No fucking way Jenna. You cannot be falling for him. You can’t I mean, he’s hot as sin, but I’m not sure he’s any good for you. I don’t want you to feed into this shit again. I’m not sure you’ll come back from it as well as you did this time.” I take her words as a warning. She’s right, she was the only one there for me, and if I allow myself to really feel these feelings and get burned again I might not come back from it the same. I thought I was depressed before, I’m not sure I could let Rex break me.
“You're right, but I don’t know how much more I can keep up Mimi. Every time we hang out my feelings grow stronger. I feel the hole getting much deeper. I feel myself become much more invested. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to hurt myself either.”
The look on Mimi’s face is a mix between sadness and happiness. As if she’s afraid, but happy for me at the same time.
“Do what you think is right Jenna. Follow your heart. If you believe there is good in Rex then I’ll support you no matter what. Everyone needs a chance every once in a while. This is yours.” I smile, unable to control the cheesy grin that forms on my face.
“And that is why you're my best friend.” I say wrapping my hands around her and pulling her into a hug.
“Oh, oh. It’s way too damn early for hugging.” She says pulling away from me , her tone full of amusement. I look at her warningly, squinting at her.
“Oh shut up. Get over here and finish hugging me you bitch.” She says letting
out a laugh, and grabbing me in a tight hug. Who knew someone so tiny could give such big hugs. My smile grows wider as I see Rex making his way down the hall, passing me and winking.
“Hey.” He says as he enters the classroom. I feel jittery as I watch his fine ass walk in. He’s wearing a black tee and pair of dark washed blue jeans.
“Stop drooling.” Mimi says giggling at me. Being that I’m too caught up in staring at Rex, I don’t notice the asshole standing in front of me.
“Morning sluts. How were your weekends? Pick up any new diseases that you would like to spread around Monroe High this week? I’ll be sure to make an announcement.” Corey says. In this moment I wonder what I really did to him to make him hate me so much, and I know he does. As if his words and actions weren’t enough, I can see it in his eyes. I can see the effort it takes for him to back off and I wonder what I did to put it there. Then suddenly I don’t care. I have Rex, and I’m just tired of letting Corey rule my life.
“Go away Fuck-face.” I sneer out, matching his heated gaze; a look of shock passing on both his, and Mimi’s face, and possibly my own as well. Did I really just grow a pair of balls? I feel like doing a victory dance or something, but will myself not too.
Corey leans into me, a gesture that probably would go unnoticed by most staff in the school but not by students. He only gets close to me if he wants to hurt me. Naturally, I back up but come into contact with the wall.
“You best watch yourself bitch;” He all but spits out, his eyes, looking all over my face and then down my body. I’ve had just about enough of his shit. Fire, the angry kind, the kind that makes you want to scream and break shit courses through my veins and I just can’t hold myself back from asking any longer.
“Why do you hate me so much? What the hell did I ever do to you?” I ask. I don’t want it to seem like I’m pleading because god knows I’m not, but I want to know how someone can develop so much hate for someone.
A look of anguish crosses his face, but then turns to placid anger as it grows red. He looks as if I’ve just made a mockery out of him. His body pushes into mine, and I feel trapped.
“Leave her the fuck alone Corey or I’m getting a teacher.” Mimi says anger evident in her voice. Corey glances sideways at her and back to me as if seeing if she really will.
“Try me asshole.” His gaze swings back to me before saying “It’s not what you did; it’s what you didn’t do.” He says with every ounce of hate and disgust he can muster up. It’s almost like being physically hit,, but with words, so it hurts more. It has more of an everlasting feeling. The scars of being hurt physically fade with time, but you can’t wash away the pain words cause.
His finger pushes into my chest “Don’t ask me anything ever again, and leave Rex alone. I know there’s something going on between you two, and don’t think just because you’re a girl that I won’t take actions into my own hands.” He says all but enraged. I feel myself wanting to fall through the floor or go home, I don’t because I feel the need to challenge him, to challenge everyone here.
“Are you okay?” Mimi asks as he walks away. I smile up at her before saying “Yeah, I’m great.” That’s a lie, I’m not great. Although I will be again real soon. I’m done letting Corey Winchester, and his friends bully me.
Bullies Will Be Bullies
“What the hell is wrong with that asshole?” Rex asks me as we walk the short distance to his truck. I don’t really have an answer for him. I don’t have an answer for anything that Corey says or does to me.
“You tell me, he’s your cousin.” I respond back. Rex grits his teeth, his jaw clenches and I wonder how angry hearing what his cousin said to me makes him.
“That doesn’t mean I know what goes on in his head, who threatens a woman like that? Honestly, that’s low even coming from him, and I get the feeling he's said a lot of shit that could qualify as low.” I shrug my shoulders; it doesn’t really bother me anymore. Everything he’s said I’ve heard a time or two at least. His remarks, his tactics are almost always the same. He’s never said he would physically hurt me, so Rex is right this is a new low for him.
“It’s Corey, you act as if this type of behavior is abnormal or something?” I ask. Sometimes I think that Rex knows more than he’s leading on when it comes to knowing why Corey acts the way he does. I didn’t tell Rex immediately, not until Mimi convinced me that it would be a good idea. I didn’t want him to think that he had to protect me or something. Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of what Corey was capable of.
We both come to a halt, and Rex wraps his arms around me pulling me into his chest. His scent surrounding every orifice of me, consuming my thoughts and making me forget about whatever it was we were talking about.
“It really isn’t Jenna. Corey hasn’t ever hit a girl let alone threatened one. This isn’t me defending him, and I’m serious. Something is going on with him.” He mumbles into my hair. His breath and nose rub against the sensitive part of my neck.
“There’s nothing you can do about it Rex. Some people can’t be saved, bullies will always be bullies.” I gasp out, as his tongue glides across my neck. I pull back giving him the evil eye. He looks down at me like the devil he is.
“That may be true, but don’t bullies have a reason as to why they bully? Isn’t there a cause, like teen-induced hate, or being bullied themselves?” He asks. I wouldn’t doubt Corey being a bully, or having a reason to. Most bullies have hate for themselves or feel the need to do it to others because they’re insecure about themselves.
“There’s no reason to hate someone that much, and even if you do there’s no reason whatsoever to act upon it. Just because you dislike someone doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to threaten them. It doesn’t make sense and I’m tired of trying to figure out what Corey’s motives are.” I announce fiercely. It’s not that I don’t want to know why I’m the center of his torment or whatever. It’s bad enough I hear about him in every realm of my school life. I don’t want to hear about him in the only peaceful aspects of my life.
“Well I’m not, because family or not you don’t mess with my girl.” He says emotionally, his face a clear map, showing me his feelings. I shiver, and I can’t tell if it’s because of the chilly October air or the feelings Rex is stirring in me, but well go with the latter.
“I thought we were friends?” I ask teasingly. I know what he means when he says my girl, but teasing him is so much fun.
“Are we? Because I’m not sure I can be just friends with you?” He says smiling back at me, his hands reach out aggressively as his fingers lightly tickle my sides.
“Stop. St-op…” I huff out in between bouts of laughter. “What was that you said…? Will you be my best friend Rex?” “Awe of course I will be.” He mocks back at me.
“Yes. Yes I will be your best friend just stop tickling me, or I’m going to pee.” My laughter ensues, but stops suddenly when I take notice of another male’s laughter.
Rex steps back removing his hands from me, his body language is different, dangerous and yet protective.
“This is too cute. You two being all friendly with one another outside of school, but acting as if you don’t know one another in school. It’s adorable, and funny as shit, because one, I know you Rex and you could do so much better than that, and Jenna. You're as good at listening as I knew you would be.” A look of utter disgust marks his face and I know I show the same disinterest.
“Carry on man. I’ve had enough of your shit. Go home, and muddle in your own sorrows.” Rex says bitterly turning himself away from Corey and towards me.
“Really Rex, you want my sloppy seconds. She doesn’t even put out… and we all know you can't go without sex.” At his point I’m seething and can no longer hold my comment back, and though I might regret it later, I won’t right this second.
“Oh that’s rich Corey, being that every fucking rumor you spread about me at this school has to do with me sleeping around. Glad you can fina
lly admit that I’m not the “whore” you make me out to be. Plus I wouldn’t ever put out to a piece of shit like you.” Venom fills my voice, as it grows louder.
Corey’s face grows dark, and though that may have once scared me it empowers me, because for once in my life I’m not on the receiving end. I’m dishing back to him what he gives to me.
“I warned you Jenna. I told you what I would and could do to you and you didn’t take me serious. You’ll regret it, I promise.” He says deadly. His voice makes my skin crawl in disgust. My stomach churns, and his threat almost frightens me. I refuse to let what he says scare me. I would just be feeding into what he wants, and giving him the satisfaction I know he feeds off of.
“If you touch a hair on her, I will hurt you in all kinds of ways Corey. You might be family, but when you're acting like this you're nothing to me. If I hear, or see you hurting her again it won't end well for you and that is a promise.” The look on Rex’s face is of pure hate and rage. The one on Corey’s face well let’s just say I’ve waited forever to see his mouth fall open in awe.
“They won't ever accept her Rex. Never. Not after what she's done to my family. They’ll disown you, I’ll make them. I’ll make your lives hell.” Corey continues to threaten. I look to Rex for an answer as to what I’ve done to his family. Confusion sets in as I filter through my thoughts and time spent with Corey and his family.
Nothing sticks out or pin points to what he’s talking about. “What are you talking about? I haven’t done anything to your family.” I say furiously. A wolfish smile appears on Corey’s face, and I feel like we're in an intense game of chess. Like one more wrong move could cost us the game.
“You never told her Rex?” Corey says all too excited. “Never told me what?” I ask Rex, curiously. What the hell is Corey up to? I remind myself that whatever I hear is just another way for him to dig his evil claws into me. It’s just another way to hurt me.
