‘Beautiful woman.’
She couldn’t know he’d never said it to another.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
FOUR THOUSAND FEET in the air would have been far safer.
Morning had more than broken, it was nearly midday when they woke up to Sev’s phone and Ahmed, the IT guy, asking where he was.
Sev couldn’t, Naomi noted, even look at her.
That was okay; she couldn’t really look at him.
‘I’m not sure how long I’ll be,’ Sev said.
‘That’s fine,’ Naomi said.
Take your time! she thought.
Oh, there had been no declarations and after he had gone Naomi lay there, trying to convince herself that what had happened this morning had been no different from other times.
Liar.
And it wasn’t just she who had broken the stated rules.
Sev had made love to her that morning and she knew, from the tension that now existed between them, that both of them regretted it.
For whatever reason he didn’t want to get too involved or too close.
She did.
Worst of all, he’d let her glimpse what it could be like.
* * *
Sev went through all the changes with the head of IT but all day he found himself glancing at the time and thinking.
He remembered finishing school and taking the bus back to the orphanage with Nikolai.
He had been quiet.
That had suited him fine as he’d liked to do his homework on the bus and then read or study at night.
And then dinner.
Sixteen years ago they had lined up with their plates.
Now it was their last night in Dubai and it was to be spent being wined and dined by Allem.
‘I’d rather it was just us tonight,’ Sev admitted, as he dressed in his suit.
‘And me,’ Naomi admitted, but then she changed her mind. If it was just the two of them she might push for deeper conversation and demand answers about them.
Maybe there was safety in numbers.
‘I’ll call and tell him.’
‘Sev!’ Naomi halted him. ‘No.’
‘You just said you’d rather it was just us.’
‘What we say and what we do are different things. He’s gone out of his way to ensure that we have a good time. You can’t just cancel on him.’
Oh, but he wanted to.
For more reasons than Naomi knew.
She put on her gorgeous silver dress and flat sandals and as Sev helped her with the zip there were no games this time.
‘Come on, then,’ Sev said.
No You look nice, or Wow, I love that dress.
And Naomi felt a burn of anger start to build.
She felt like emailing Emmanuel and asking him to order two dozen white roses.
It was that time, with Sev, she knew.
That time when the gloss had worn off and his interest waned.
She knew little of him but his routines she knew well.
* * *
‘Naomi!’ Jamal greeted her warmly and so too did Allem, but though the greeting was effusive and the dinner was magnificent there was tension in the air that Naomi couldn’t read.
Sev wasn’t at his most sociable but Naomi now knew Allem and Jamal accepted that.
There was something going on that she was not privy to, Naomi was sure.
‘I had the chef make your favourite dessert, Sev,’ Jamal said.
It was sahlab, a thick creamy milk pudding flavoured with orange blossom and rosewater. Topped with pistachios, it was delicious and light and Sev did comment.
‘It’s very nice.’
But then he glanced at his phone and, had the table been high enough to do so unseen, Naomi could cheerfully have kicked him.
Coffee was served and the shisha pipe came out. ‘Would you like to see the nursery, Naomi?’ Jamal asked.
Naomi smiled and nodded and as the women excused themselves Naomi thought back to their night in the desert and how light and easy life had seemed.
It was very different now.
Even Jamal seemed a touch strained, though she didn’t comment or share her thoughts with Naomi.
Allem did with Sev.
Just as soon as the women were safely out of earshot, he turned to his friend.
‘She said no?’ Allem checked.
‘I didn’t ask her,’ Sev admitted. ‘Look, she’s got some guy in England, maybe when she sees him...’
‘Come off it, Sev.’
‘I think he might be the safer bet.’
‘You are being ridiculous.’
‘No.’ Sev shook his head. That morning had shaken him, that level of being with another person, feeling so close to another person, was one he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to repeat.
‘You didn’t go up in the balloon?’ Allem frowned.
‘Nope,’ Sev said, and tried not to think of what had happened. Instead he quickly changed the subject. ‘I’ve spoken to Ahmed and I’ve told him I’ll be back later next week. He seems to have a good grasp of the changes—’
‘Sev, I don’t want to talk about work tonight. Yesterday—’
‘Was yesterday,’ Sev interrupted. ‘I’ve been thinking about things and while it’s been a great break and we’ve both had a nice time...’ They stopped talking as Jamal and Naomi came down the stairs.
‘I’m sure Sev can rig up a system for you,’ Naomi was saying.
‘What was that?’ Sev checked.
‘Jamal is worried that the nursery and nanny’s wing is too far from where they sleep.’
‘I want to know if the baby cries,’ Jamal said. ‘I don’t want to leave everything to the nanny.’
‘Oh, please,’ Allem said. ‘We have the best security; we have monitors and cameras and, yes, of course we’ll hear if the baby cries.’
About now, Sev thought.
About 11:00 p.m., sixteen years ago, the most important person in his world had cried.
And he’d heard him.
And then had rolled over and fallen back to sleep.
He thought of Nikolai.
No. Whatever he might have felt yesterday had long since passed. Sev did not trust himself to be the caretaker of another heart.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THEY’D STAYED ONE day and one night too long, Naomi thought as both her and Sev’s alarms went off.
Three days and nights would have been enough and they could have ended it well.
She could have walked away having given them a chance but with her dignity intact.
Now she was doing her best not to cry.
Sev was right. Had she not messed up the schedule they’d be in London now and would already have parted ways.
Instead they lay in bed, barely touching and hardly talking.
* * *
Sev was thinking.
He had listened to Allem.
And he knew he couldn’t ask her to come back to New York on a whim.
He’d bought a ring, yet he didn’t know how to give it to her.
He scanned through his mind for even one example of a half-decent relationship that had survived the test of time.
Nyet.
Maybe Allem, but that was mainly business.
Anyway, he didn’t have the space in his head for romance and maybes today. Instead he remembered what was.
Waking at five.
An hour earlier than usual but he and Nikolai had been on kitchen duty.
Sev had seen that the bed next to him had been empty.
Straight away he’d felt dread.
The first thing they’d usually done had been to make their beds.
It had been the very first thing that they’d done every morning without exception and yet Nikolai’s bed had been unmade.
‘We need to go,’ Sev said, but he didn’t need to. Naomi was already climbing out of bed.
She had packed yesterday.
For both of them.
Oh, as muc
h as she might have pretended to herself that this was a holiday she was still on his payroll...for a few more hours at least. They drove to the airport and Naomi realised that this was finally it.
They boarded his jet and sat in silence.
Neither dared suggest bed.
Parting was already going to be hard enough.
‘Where’s your book?’ Naomi asked, for something to say and because he always read during take-off.
Sev didn’t answer her.
It was time to be practical. ‘If I write up a reference,’ Naomi asked, ‘will you sign it?’
‘I’ll do one for you now.’
He took out his computer.
‘How long did you work for me?’ Sev checked.
‘Three months.’ Naomi sighed. He didn’t even know that.
‘I meant, how long do you want me to put that you have worked for me?’
‘Just put the truth,’ Naomi snapped.
Sev actually smiled. She was the only person he knew who growled as they asked you to write a reference for them.
‘Testy?’ Sev checked.
‘Tired,’ Naomi corrected.
Sev typed for a couple of moments and then flicked the result over to her computer. ‘Let me know if you want me to change anything.’
Naomi opened the file and read it.
To Whom It May Concern,
Naomi Johnson has worked as my personal assistant for three very long months.
Initially when I interviewed her I decided she wasn’t suitable for the role—she said ‘sorry’ a lot and that irritated me—but then I decided to give her a try.
I have regretted that choice at times.
Naomi Johnson was moody, didn’t like ordering flowers and she was, I have to say, obstructive on occasion. Now, though, I understand that her belligerent attitude was because she wanted to have sex with me.
And I did with her.
I wish we hadn’t waited so long but I’m also glad that we did.
In summary, Naomi Johnson is the best PA I’ve ever had, the nicest person I’ve known, and I feel a bit sick typing this because, though I don’t want her to leave, I honestly think it’s for the best that she does.
Sevastyan Derzhavin
PS I shall write you a real one now.
Naomi read it without comment and, as nice as it was, it made her feel cross too. For all they had found, he would let her leave, and while she might know him better, she understood him less.
It was a long, lonely flight.
Sev did write her a real reference.
One that was so good it had Naomi question if she should go back to her old job.
This could open doors.
She wanted to be walking through his, though.
The hardest thing ever, far harder than leaving her father behind, was to walk off the plane and to his car. She had sworn she wouldn’t break down in front of him and that was a promise to herself that was getting more difficult to keep by the minute.
‘I think my mother may have come to meet me,’ Naomi said. ‘Can your car drop me off at Arrivals?’
Sev didn’t like that idea. He had thought he would be taking her home but instead his driver took them the relatively short distance to Arrivals.
‘Leave your bags,’ Sev said. ‘Go and find your mother and then I can take you both home.’
‘There’s no need,’ Naomi said. ‘We can make our own way home.’
‘No, my driver—’
‘My mother has a car,’ Naomi interrupted. ‘We’re hardly going to travel in separate vehicles.’
So this was it.
They stood as a trolley was loaded with her things, shivering in the damp morning air, and though Sev knew he was doing the right thing by her—that she would be far better off without him—it was harder than it had ever been to say goodbye to another person.
Usually his PAs left and, as long as he had another in place, he had given it little thought.
It was the same with lovers.
There was always another.
Family.
Ah, don’t go there.
Friends.
Sev watched as the last bag was loaded onto the trolley.
Friends were the reason he was here in London, no doubt to sit waiting and to be let down all over again.
She turned and looked at Sev, the most beautiful man in the world, who had made love to her like he adored her. A man who had taken her heart and pocketed it like a piece of loose change.
‘Thanks for everything, Sev.’ She was able to look him in the eye. ‘If Emmanuel needs any information—’
‘I’ll call you if there are any issues,’ Sev interrupted.
‘Please, don’t,’ Naomi responded. She didn’t want to hear that voice pulling her back under his spell again. ‘Emmanuel can email me. Anyway...’ she took out her phone from her pocket ‘...this is yours.’
He had switched her over to a work phone on the day that she had started.
‘Keep it,’ Sev said, because it was far more than a work phone that she was handing back, it was a safety net should he change his mind, a line of communication she was severing.
‘I don’t need it,’ Naomi said.
She didn’t.
The very last thing she needed as she moved on with the next stage of her life was a phone that might ring, a text that might bleep. Oh, her heart would soar, Naomi knew, and it would no doubt be him, asking where some file was, or had she responded to...?
Or...
She looked into his eyes and she had no doubt, no doubt at all, that he might be cruel enough to call her deep into a long night, to toy with her heart just because he was bored.
‘Here.’ When he didn’t take it she popped it into his top suit pocket and he just stood there.
‘I’ve got your private number,’ Sev warned.
‘I’m changing it,’ Naomi said.
It was the very first thing she would do.
And she would only open emails that came from Emmanuel.
Screw you for letting me leave, she wanted to shout, but didn’t.
‘What will you do?’ Sev asked.
‘Do?’ Naomi frowned. ‘I’ll get back to the real world.’
One without castles in the sky.
One without a morning being made love to at sunrise followed by a cold grey goodbye.
He went into his coat and pulled out a slim package and handed it to her. ‘Your leaving present.’
He just hurt her again and again.
Naomi didn’t want a leaving present; she wanted him.
‘I’m going to miss you,’ Sev said.
‘Not that much,’ Naomi replied.
After all, he was letting her leave.
Her trolley was one of those that moved to the left and Naomi steered it badly, wishing that the automatic door would open more quickly, instead of leaving her standing a few seconds too long.
A terrible few seconds because she did turn around, just in time to see his car sliding off.
No lingering stare, nothing.
Sev had got back into his car and got on with his life.
Now it was time for her to do the same.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
HE WOULD MISS her that much.
So much that, even if today could never be an easy one, it could be less unbearable.
‘Pull in here,’ Sev said to his driver.
He was trying to dissuade himself from going after her. The kindest thing would surely be to let her get back to her life, rather than hazard her with his first adult attempt at a relationship.
His phone buzzed and, rather than get out of the car, he checked it.
And then hope came back to his heart.
There was his niece, Mariya, smiling into the camera and showing off the pink earrings that he had bought for her eighteenth birthday. There was message beneath.
I told Ma that the earrings were from Zena, my friend at school. She thinks they are cheap and so I can keep them.
Thank you Uncle Sevastyan.
I love them very much.
I love you too.
Mariya
The words were followed by two pink hearts, and for all that was wrong in the world there was still something right.
Every year he had sent his niece a gift but this year he had sent two.
One to her home.
The other, the earrings, to her school.
He cared not if they had been lost.
He cared a lot more that they had been found.
If he could just get through today... Sev thought.
If he could explain to Naomi the disappointment of Daniil not showing up and the black memories of this day...
Sev doubted he could, not today.
But something inside him doubted she would mind.
Was that love?
Where you wait with patience, where you hold on till the other is ready?
Maybe it was time to find out.
* * *
Arrivals at Heathrow was hell. It was all families and happy couples and tender reunions. Had she had her phone on her then Naomi would have texted her mother to see if she was here and ask her to meet her outside. But Naomi’s old phone was in her case.
So she stood, scanning the crowd, deciding that her mother hadn’t got her message, or, if she had, that she’d decided not to come.
Yes, it was a lonely morning and as she turned to head off, tears in her eyes, Naomi hit a solid wall, one her heart recognised because the tears she had held back started to fall as she was held in his arms.
‘Too much,’ Sev said. ‘I will miss you too much if I let you go back now.’
He kissed her and she hated herself for kissing him back. It was a sizzling, passionate kiss, one where he moved her from the crowds and Naomi found herself pressed to a wall and she could almost taste the blood from the bruise of Sev’s mouth.
He offered her nothing, an extension perhaps, and she loathed herself that she would take his crumbs.
But she would.
And she loathed herself that on a freezing morning he pulled her into his coat and he was hot and hard for her, and for all the pain of goodbyes to come she still wanted him.
He wanted away from the crowds, he wanted sex and then maybe to talk. And she wanted him—that trip in her that he recognised on sight, that shift where her body turned over to him was there.
‘Airport hotel?’ Sev asked.
The Cost of the Forbidden (Irresistible Russian Tycoons) Page 12
