She had been told that she was to expect a visit from her doctor. Good. She was feeling more herself now, she was still weak, her head still hurt an awful lot, and when a nurse had brought her a mirror, she had thought that she looked terrible. How long before her hair would regrow? What kind of style could she try? Whatever, she thought having her hair half cut off might be bad—but things could have been so much worse.
Where was her doctor? She was waiting to see Ed.
She had thought about him and when she had been asleep she had dreamed about him. But she wasn’t sure about him. She knew she was still weak, emotionally as well as physically, but soon she knew she would be her old confident self. Able to make her own decisions and to think about what had happened to her. Able to think about what she had said—and about what had been said to her. Everything might be different now. But she was looking forward to seeing Ed again.
A nurse came in, smiled and said, ‘The doctor’s coming to have a look at you now. Ready for him?’
Well, she was. Sort of.
But it was a definite disappointment when the doctor who came in was Nick. She couldn’t stop herself. She said, ‘I thought Ed was my doctor.’
Nick smiled at his patient. ‘No. I told him that I would be the physician in charge. I’ll tell you why in a minute. Ed can be a visitor, and I’m sure he’ll be in to see you soon. And Ben Carter will be over to see you tomorrow—he’ll want to admire his good work. Now, we’ll have the medical examination first and then perhaps chat a while.’ He turned to the nurse. ‘Janice, could you remove…?’
It seemed odd to be examined instead of examining. It was weird to have your records looked at, instead of looking at them. She wasn’t sure she liked it. But Nick was a professional. If nothing else she could admire his skill.
Finally the examination was over, her head was bandaged again and Nick told the nurse she could go. Maddy looked at him thoughtfully. He seemed to have relaxed. Now he was her friend. ‘So why not Ed as my doctor?’ she asked him. ‘I thought he was very efficient.’
‘He is efficient and I’m proud of him and his ability. But he’s better not being your doctor because he can’t keep the necessary distance. Because of the relationship between you two.’
‘I’m not sure there is one,’ she said. ‘Things said in…in emotional moments aren’t always true when you think about them dispassionately. You get over-eager.’ Then, wanting some kind of encouragement, she asked cautiously, ‘But if there was any kind of relationship, would you approve?’
‘It’s not my place to say. But I do find you a very competent nurse.’
Maddy felt just a little irritated. ‘Thanks for the compliment—I think. Nick, are you always so guarded about what you say? It must be hard when so many of your patients are known to you. Are your friends, in fact.’
She was a bit surprised at the strength of his answer. ‘Of course I’m guarded. Doctors aren’t like most people, Maddy, you should know that. You have to keep some distance, if only because you learn so many secrets. Now, let’s move onto something else. You can’t go home alone so you’re to stay here until we think you’re fit to be discharged, and that’ll be a while. You don’t recover from cranial surgery quickly. So what do you see as your future?’
‘I just haven’t thought about it,’ she said honestly. ‘I suppose I could get another job with the cruise line. But I only signed on for one trip.’
‘After your operation that won’t be a good idea for several months. You need to be on dry land, within easy distance of a hospital. Not that I see any trouble ahead. But it’s good to be cautious.’
He paused a moment, then said. ‘I’ve been very impressed by you, Maddy. And when you worked for me before, you were excellent. Would you like to think about a job in the Penhally Bay practice?’
She looked at him in amazement. The thought had never crossed her mind. ‘Is there a vacancy?’
‘There will be shortly. We’re expanding rapidly.’
She thought some more. ‘Did Ed put you up to this?’
‘No, it was entirely my idea. And I didn’t ask him. I’m always on the lookout for good staff. Don’t answer now, just think about it.’
He stood, picked up his doctor’s bag. ‘Ed’s working this morning but he said he’d be in to see you this afternoon. You might like to talk about my offer to him. Bye, Maddy.’ Then he smiled, taking her hand. ‘It’s good to see you looking so well. When I heard about your accident, I was worried.’ And he was gone.
Maddy lay back on her pillow, wondered if the thinking she now had to do might make her head hurt even more. The offer of a job in the Penhally Bay practice. Working with Ed. Suddenly life seemed more complicated. Or more simple?
When she had only known Ed for three days she had told him that she loved him. Well, perhaps she hadn’t been in her right mind, she had been about to have a possibly life-threatening operation. The trouble was, now she had had her operation, now she had been told that she was going to recover, she still knew that she loved him. And she had decided that she loved him before her accident. All right, sane, professional, reasonable nurses didn’t make that kind of decision after three days. But she had. And she meant it.
She had told Ed that she loved him and he had promptly asked her to marry him. But had he only done it to aid her recovery, to make her feel better? In that he had been successful. She was sure that the proposal had helped her pull through. But had he really meant it? Had it just been the agony of the moment, a sudden rash decision to be later regretted? He wasn’t ready for the consequences. And he was still upset over his dead wife, he just wasn’t capable of making big decisions. Not for the rest of his life, it seemed to her. She was thinking clearly now, it was all so plain. He hadn’t really meant it. No way could she hold him to a promise made so quickly.
What to do now? Ed was an honourable man. He had asked her to marry him. She thought she had said yes but she wasn’t really sure. So he would want to do the proper thing—marry her. She must tell him that agreeing to marry him had been a mistake.
So the decision was made and the tears flowed again. But when they had passed she found herself stronger, determined. She knew what she had to do.
He came into her room that afternoon. It was a warm day, he was dressed in fawn chinos and a dark blue, opennecked, linen shirt. The blue of the shirt contrasted with his tanned face and he looked absolutely gorgeous. In one hand he had a bunch of flowers, in the other hand a silverwrapped box that she guessed would hold chocolates. She didn’t think she’d ever seen a more wonderful sight come into a patient’s room.
He laid the flowers and the parcel on her bedside table, kissed her on the cheek, took her two hands and sat on her bed. ‘So how are you?’ he asked. ‘You look so much better than when I last looked at you. It’s good to see you improving.’
‘I’m fine. I’m still weak but I’m getting better by the minute. And it’s good to see you, too, Ed.’
‘Know what day it is? It’s Tuesday. Exactly a week since we first met.’
A week? Was that all? Half her life seemed to have been crammed into those few days. ‘It seems longer,’ she said. ‘But only a week? We hardly know each other.’
‘We’ve known each other since the moment we met.’
‘No, we haven’t. You were decidedly cautious with me when we first met. And I was cautious with you, felt that I’d met men like you before.’
‘We got over that caution quite quickly. I kissed you. And you kissed me back.’
He didn’t need to remind her. She remembered so well!
‘But we were busy most of the time. What time did we have to get to know each other?’
‘Two wonderful nights in a small bed,’ he told her. ‘Remember those?’
She did remember. How well she remembered. ‘I’d blush if I could,’ she said. Then, because she had to be honest, she said, ‘I don’t think I’ll ever forget them.’
‘Nor me.’ He looked at her cautiou
sly. ‘What do you remember about what we said after you’d fallen and cracked your skull?’
She had to be careful here. ‘I was confused,’ she said. ‘I just remember talking to you. You were comforting but I can’t remember quite how.’
‘I was comforting. In fact, you told me that I knew how to make a girl feel good. That pleased me.’ He was looking at her with a half-smile on his face. ‘It’s not like you to be coy, Maddy. One of thing things I love about you is that you’re direct and honest. So tell me, how did I make you feel good?’
No way could she lie, pretend she couldn’t remember. Apart from anything else, it was a memory she wanted to cherish. ‘You asked me to marry you,’ she mumbled.
‘I did.’ He leaned over and kissed her again. ‘One of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. And then you said that you would marry me. Proposal and acceptance. We’re an engaged couple.’
From his pocket he took a tiny leather box, held it out to her. ‘Open it. It’s for you. Just until we can decide upon something better.’
The excited half of her desperately wanted to open the box, the wary half knew that it wasn’t a good idea. The excited half won. Inside the box was a cushion of red silk and set into the cushion was a ring. It was worn with long use, but the stones—a pattern of emerald and jade—were as bright as ever. ‘It’s lovely,’ she cried.
‘It was my great-grandmother’s engagement ring. This morning I asked my father if I could have it and he said yes.’
‘Did he know you wanted it for me?’
‘Well, I haven’t been seeing any other woman recently,’ Ed said mildly. ‘I think he must have guessed.’
Maddy started to take the ring out of the box and then thrust it back. She knew that if she tried the ring on then she would never want to take it off. She gave the box back to Ed. ‘You don’t like it?’ he asked in some surprise. ‘Well, no matter. We can—’
‘Ed! We’ve got to talk. It’s so lovely but I can’t take this ring. We just can’t get engaged. I know you asked me to marry you and I said yes, but we were both over-emotional. We weren’t thinking right. Things are different now.’
He looked surprised. ‘Some things are different. I’m now not terrified that you might never come to after the operation. But the important things are still the same. I love you. And you love me—don’t you?’
There was no way she could bring herself to say that she didn’t love him. But she didn’t have to answer the question directly. ‘We were both tired, both emotional. I’m not going to take advantage of something you said when you weren’t…when you weren’t…’
‘I think you’re entitled to because I took advantage of you,’ he said, with a grin that almost made her melt. ‘I knew you were emotional and tired—but I still got into bed with you. Maddy, no way are you taking advantage of me. Don’t you think that I don’t know what I want?’
It was a hard thing to do but she felt she had to hurt him—even if it mean hurting herself more. ‘Ed! You’re still in love with your wife! You think of her all the time!’
She didn’t get the reaction she had expected. He looked thoughtful rather than hurt or angry. ‘I loved Penny,’ he said after a while. ‘I always will. But she’s gone now and I can accept it. I’ve mourned her but now I’m over it. You helped me get over it. And, Maddy, I know she’d not have wanted me to spend the rest of my life just clinging onto a memory.’ Almost as an afterthought he added, ‘I also know she’d have liked you.’
That was such praise. For a moment Maddy was overwhelmed, didn’t know what to say. One last argument. ‘You also told me once that you’d felt such pain when your wife died you never wanted to risk it again.’
‘How do you think I felt when I saw you go into Ben’s operating theatre? I discovered then that any pain is worthwhile for someone you love. And I love you, Maddy. Being apart from you would hurt me so much.’
She could think of no further arguments. Gently, she lowered her head onto the pillow, stared at the flowers he had brought her. They were beautiful. What should she say now?
‘You’re tired.’ His voice was tender. ‘And you’ve been ill. It’s wrong of me to push you. You need to sleep. I’ll leave you now.’
He leaned over her, his lips brushed hers. ‘Shall I leave this ring with you? Just so you can think about it?’
‘Better not. It’s too beautiful. The temptation to put it on might be too great, and then I’d never want to take it off.’ She decided to make one last appeal. ‘Ed, why don’t we not talk about it for a year? Just carry on as friends. You can ask me to marry you in a year’s time, when we’ve got to know each other better, when I’m fully well.’
‘I don’t want to wait a year. I love you now. And you love me, don’t you?’
She couldn’t bring herself to lie. ‘Yes, I do love you and that’s why I won’t marry you. Not yet anyway.’
He sighed. ‘Right, then. Maddy, I’m not allowed to bully helpless patients, it’s against the doctors’ code. But don’t think I won’t ask again! Now, I can’t come to see you tomorrow, I’m going to London on a week’s course. It was arranged months ago. But could I ring you tomorrow night?’
She reached for his hand, took it to her lips and kissed it. ‘I’ll be sad if you don’t ring,’ she said.
Ed drove up onto the moors. He didn’t know how to deal with the turbulence of his feelings. Over the past week he had suffered a greater excess of emotions than at any time since—well, at any time since his wife had died. He realised that since then he had been coasting along, only half living. He had deliberately cut himself off from feelings—doing his job, taking a mild pleasure in the sea and countryside, occasionally taking out a girl who knew right from the beginning that it was nothing serious. Now none of that was good enough. He had started to feel again. And discovered that feelings could bring great joy.
He had promised to drop in at the Clintons’ farm, to see how Isaac was getting on. Once again he was met at the farmhouse front door by Ellie. But this time she was in working clothes, boots, jeans and a decidedly scruffy-looking T-shirt. But he thought she looked well. There was a smile on her lips, a sparkle in her eyes.
‘Dr Tremayne, how are you? The gossip is that you’ve been saving lives out on a cruise ship.’
‘All part of the day’s work, Ellie. Tell me, how was the St Piran’s Ball?’
‘It was wonderful! Do you know a Dr Peter Hunter who works there? He’s a junior registrar in the orthopaedic department.’
‘Don’t think I know him,’ Ed said cautiously. ‘You met him there?’
‘I spent most of the night dancing with him. Oh, and other people as well. But…he’s driven over to see me a couple of evenings.’
‘Be careful of forming a relationship with a junior registrar,’ Ed warned her. ‘They work even longer hours than farmers.’
Ellie laughed. ‘Early days yet. But I’m glad I went. Come inside, I’ll get you a drink. You’ve come to see Dad?’
‘Just a casual visit,’ Ed said, skating around the truth. ‘I was in the area and I thought I’d drop in.’
‘He’ll be pleased to see you but there’s no real need. Since you talked to him last week he’s been perfect. Done everything you told him to. He grumbles, of course, but he wouldn’t be my father if he didn’t.’
‘Sounds like one of my successes,’ said Ed.
In fact, he didn’t really need to examine Isaac. The old man was obviously looking after himself and was feeling much better for it. Ed spent a quarter of an hour chatting to him and then set off for home.
He thought about Ellie as he drove down into Penhally. About how happy she seemed to be with her new doctor friend. Why couldn’t he be as happy as that? He realised what he had lost or would lose if he couldn’t marry Maddy.
He loved her. He thought she loved him—but she had this idea in her mind that they had to wait. He didn’t want to wait. So…
He had a military mind so he would consider this a
battle. The first thing you did when fighting a battle was look for allies. Allies! Now he had a plan.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MADDY had no clear memory of Ben Carter. She knew he had operated on her, had been there when she had come round, but that was all. Now she met him properly. A tall, lean, smiling man with brilliant blue eyes. Were all the men in Penhally Bay gorgeous?
‘Basically I’m a general surgeon, not a brain man,’ he told her as he examined her next morning. ‘Done a bit of skull work, of course, wondered about specialising in it at one time. But mostly it’s general. Good thing you were out of it when I came to see you. You might have objected otherwise.’
‘Ed seemed to think you were the best there was.’
‘The best there was available. He was in a hurry—which incidentally was necessary.’ He smiled. ‘By the way, did you know you were operated on by television?’
‘What? Television how?’
‘I was linked up with a surgeon in London. I had a headset on while I was operating with a camera showing what I was doing. He offered advice.’
‘I’ve heard of that kind of thing.’
‘Set up by your friend and mine, Dr Ed Tremayne. He thought it might be a good idea. You know, the ex-military mind can be very impressive. Possibly you owe your life to Ed. He decided what needed doing, organised it at once and then saw it through. I wasn’t the obvious choice to operate on a skull but I was the nearest, the most available. And time was running out for you. So he decided, coolly, logically, just like a machine. But he can feel, too. I’ve never seen him look so desperate. I had to send him out of the room while I operated. Are you two close?’
‘Sort of,’ Maddy said.
‘He’s a friend of mine but he’s a good man,’ said Ben. ‘And he deserves a good woman.’
The nurse had unwrapped the bandages round her head and Maddy could feel the cool air on bare skin where there shouldn’t be bare skin. She must look a mess!
Brides of Penhally Bay - Vol 2 Page 29
