by Chal, Bella
“Why don’t we all go in my car?” Trey offered, with a glance up at Kurt.
“Your back seat’s too small,” Kurt countered. “I’ll end up with my knees under my chin. There’s more room in mine.”
“That piece of shit?” Trey said, but Kurt could see the challenge in his eyes.
“It’ll beat yours there.”
“How much?” Trey asked.
“Twenty bucks.”
“You’re on.”
“Oh my god, will you two ever grow up?” Charlotte said. “Never mind them, Polly, maybe Aunt Bella will give us a ride.”
“Fine,” Trey said with a sigh. “I’ll ride in the Frankencar.”
Kurt was a little disappointed when Charlotte and Polly climbed in the back together. Trey made a show of wiping off the seat before he sat down, but didn’t make any other snarky comments about being in his car.
When Kurt turned the key to start the engine, Trey made a surprised sound at the low rumble that vibrated through the car’s body. “You do an upgrade on this thing?”
“A small block 350 with a Weber carburetor and performance exhaust system,” Kurt said with a grin. “Still wanna race?”
Trey’s only response was to pull out his wallet and drop a twenty on the seat between them. “Here’s gas money,” he said with a chuckle. “I don’t play when I can’t win.”
“Your daddy bought you a nice paint job, though,” Kurt said as he laid a reverse scratch back up the driveway.
* * *
The drive out to Brownell Memorial Park only took twenty minutes, which Trey spent gabbing over the back seat with the girls. When Kurt pulled into the parking lot, he saw Kendall’s blue Honda already there.
“Is that Kendall’s car?” Charlotte asked from the back seat.
“Yeah,” Kurt confirmed with a heavy sigh. “Whatcha wanna bet Mama called her?”
“Sorry,” his sister said and rubbed his shoulder.
No one said anything as they parked and got out of the car. The tall Carillon Tower went up over a hundred feet in the air and was surrounded by a quiet park with benches and flowering plants. Putting his hands in his jean pockets, Kurt walked toward the tower like he was going to his execution.
“There she is,” his sister whispered to him, nodding to the benches on the side where Kendall was reading a book. Or at least pretending to.
Glancing over his shoulder he saw Trey was walking close to Polly, telling her something that made her smile. When their hands bumped together, he saw Trey slip a finger around to tickle her palm until she took his hand. The sight made him feel nauseous, so he looked up at the tower again and grit his teeth.
Charlotte had placed herself between Kendall and Kurt, but that didn’t stop Kendall from spotting him and calling out, “Hey, what a coincidence!”
“Hey, Kendall,” Charlotte said they approached her. “Are the bells working today?”
“Yeah, I heard them a little bit ago,” she said. “Hi Kurt. I had so much fun with you Thursday night.” Kurt just clenched his jaw because he didn’t trust himself to say anything civil. “I wish you’d called me about the boat ride yesterday. I got there just in time to see y’all going under the bridge.”
Kurt looked away to see Trey and Polly walking away hand-in-hand around the circular path surrounding the tower. The frustration he felt was pushing him to his limits. Charlotte stayed close by leaning against the fence and looking up at the tower.
“Kendall, I asked nice. I been rude. I don’t know what else to do to get it through your thick skull that we ain’t never gettin’ back together again.”
“Do you ever think about sand?” she asked as she stood next to him to look up at the tower.
Kurt couldn’t see where she was going with her question. “Not really.”
She was quiet for a long moment as the cool autumn wind blew through the branches of the trees. “Think of me like a little sandbar in the river.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It may not be the destination you had in mind, but after you hit one your boat ride’s over.” She walked in front to stare at him with an unreadable expression.
“You’re crazy,” he whispered as the realization made the hair on his arms stand up.
“No,” she said to him with a shake of her head. “I just know what I want.” Then she nodded toward Polly and said, “I know what she wants, too, and it ain’t you.”
“Fuck you,” Kurt growled under his breath.
“The truth hurts sometimes. You may not like it right now, but you and me are gonna to be together.” She stepped closer and touched his chest with her open palm. “And when we are, I’ll make sure you like it.”
The urge to push her away or hurt her was overwhelming. He could see in her face that some sick part of her wanted him to do it, just like the times she begged to be slapped or choked when he fucked her. The worst part was fearing she might be right. Maybe all his fighting did was delay the inevitable.
She must have seen something of his thoughts in his face, because her mouth slowly widened into a victorious smile. But her expression turned to shock when he suddenly screamed, “Stay the fuck away from me!”
“Kurt!” Charlotte said when she heard Kendall’s surprised cry. The bells in the tower began to peal then, playing an old familiar Cajun love song.
Stalking away towards his car, Kurt shivered from rage and frustration. The feeling of being trapped and lost was overwhelming, making him want to scream and break things. Not stopping when he got to the car, Kurt kept walking up the long road through the swamp until he could get himself under control.
Everything was messed up in his head, even worse than his last year in high school. The diagnosis of dyslexia came too late to repair the damage it had caused his grades. Years of failure and frustration had tainted him to the point that couldn’t get close to a classroom or open a book without getting panic attacks.
He’d been working with his Great Uncle Charlie since he dropped out of school at fifteen. Uncle Charlie had taken him under his wing and given him a job, but it was years before he overcame the anger he felt. Piloting a boat might be boring, but it kept his thoughts focused on the next bend in the river, the next port of call. And with Uncle Charlie’s help he was able to pass his GED and then get his Able Seaman, Mate, and Master certifications for Offshore Supply Vessels, memorizing whole sections of the Code of Federal Regulations to avoid having to read them again.
Life had gone along happily for a long time, but over the last six months he felt a new restlessness. Catching Kendall trying to trap him opened his eyes to the world around him, but now it seemed like his whole world was trying to trap him. Or maybe it already had and he was just now noticing the net closing in.
He shouted a wordless cry of frustration into the swamp, startling a flock of noisy birds to fight. Then the burning rage flamed out as he stood there, leaving him feeling numb. “I've got to do something,” he whispered.
Rubbing his face, he slowly turned back toward his car. When he came out into the parking lot he could see the four of them standing around the back of his car talking. As he approached, Charlotte began making emphatic motions to Kendall that stopped when she left the group to get in her car.
“Sorry,” he said as he walked up to the others. Kendall drove past on her way up the road without looking at him, her eyes red from crying.
* * *
No one spoke after getting in the car to drive out of the park. Losing control like that had scared and embarrassed him, but it was the memory of Trey and Polly holding hands that burned the worst. Up until that moment he thought he might have had a real chance with her, but the moment was gone. Now looking at her and Trey in the rear view mirror made him sad and thirsty.
“I know it’s early, but the Spunky Monkey should be open for lunch,” Kurt said.
“Do they even serve food?” Charlotte asked with her eyebrows raised.
“Who cares? I only go there fo
r the Daiquiris, and it’s five o’clock somewhere,” he said.
“Sounds good to me,” Polly said and leaned against Trey’s shoulder.
The Spunky Monkey sat right on the Intercoastal Waterway. It’s covered deck extended out over the water allowing them to watch birds diving after fish. Soon they found themselves sitting at a table as a cool breeze off the water surrounded them with the warm scent of a Louisiana afternoon.
“What’s good here?” Polly asked as she looked at the menu.
“I’m partial to strawberry myself,” Trey said as he relaxed into his chair.
“I meant food,” Polly responded with a half-smile.
Charlotte grinned at her and said, “The fried catfish is good, but have a daiquiri, too. They’re incredible.”
Kurt put a smile on his face he didn’t feel and said, “Strawberry works for me, too.”
“You’re driving,” his sister said with a dirty look his direction.
“Want to drive home?” he asked, feeling as brittle as old wood as he rattled his keys out to her.
She looked up in surprise. “You never let me drive your car.”
“Maybe I’m ready to make some changes,” he whispered, willing her to see how desperately he needed a drink. She nodded and took his keys.
As soon as the waitress brought their frozen drinks to the table, Kurt leaned over and pulled long sips of the rum concoction through the straw.
“Damn, these are good,” Polly said after she took a sip.
Charlotte sipped her virgin coconut daiquiri and asked, “So have you decided if you’re going back tonight or tomorrow?”
“I’m going back tonight,” she said without meeting anyone’s eyes. Trey looked unsurprised. “I’ve got a long paper to write on drug interactions that’s due next week.”
Kurt felt conflicted. He wanted her to stay, but he didn’t want her to leave with Trey on Sunday. “How about you come back at Christmas?” he suggested.
“Sorry, but it’s not in the cards. Julie wants to spend their first Christmas in the new house with the kids. Plus there was some kind of year-end meeting Jack was worried about at work. And with my parents out of the country, I’m just gonna hang out with them.”
“Maybe I’ll stop by, too,” Trey said with a grin. “While y’all were out boating yesterday I talked to Uncle Jack about getting an intern position working with him.” Kurt’s head snapped up to stare at Trey. “What? It was your idea.”
“Oh,” Kurt said, remembering their conversation on Thursday night. “Yeah.” Polly glanced between the two of them, then stared significantly at Charlotte.
“God, I can’t wait for school to be over,” she said, changing the subject.
“What are you going to do after graduation?” Polly asked before taking another sip of her drink.
“Actually I was thinking about applying for a hospital position in Houston. I mean, I want to be a surgical nurse and Houston is close enough for me to get home on the weekends if I wanted.”
Polly smiled broadly. “Seriously? That would be so cool! We could hang out!”
“I’d really like that,” Charlotte said. “And I’d love the chance to get to know Aunt Julie better.”
“She’s so great,” Polly said. “I’ve known her since we were in third grade. We go out about once a week with some other friends. You’d fit right in!”
Kurt barely listened to the happy banter while he plowed through his drink. Maybe when his sister went back to school in Lafayette, things would get back to normal and he’d recover that sense of peace he’d lost.
Trey got his attention with a concerned expression on his face. “You okay?” he whispered as the girls kept chatting.
“Naw,” Kurt said and bit the inside of his cheek to keep his cool.
“Come on,” he said as he scooted his chair back. “Over there.”
Kurt got up with his drink and leaned over the railing to peer into the brackish water under them. Trey leaned next to him and said, “Talk to me.”
“Nothin’ to say, really. It is what it is.”
“Kendall was going off about how you yelled at her. What happened there?”
“Look, this has to stay between us, okay?” Kurt whispered. When Trey nodded, Kurt said, “I caught her trying to get pregnant on me. Things had been going sour for a while, but that was the end of it for me. Now she won’t take no for an answer.”
Trey nodded and said, “It happens more often than you think. I got the same kind of problems at school, just like you said the other night.”
“Wrap that rascal,” Kurt said with a sad chuckle. “She pushed my buttons hard, basically saying what you said the other night. That I’m gonna end up with her one way or the other. It kinda fucked me up. I shouldn’t have screamed at her like that.”
“Yeah.” Trey paused for a moment. “Look, I’m gonna level with you. I know you like Polly, so I don’t want things to get weird between us.”
“Why should it get weird? She’s going home today.”
“I’m gonna go for her.”
Kurt raised his drink and took a long sip. “She ain’t the kinda girl your mama’s gonna let you marry, Trey.”
He chuffed a laugh. “I ain’t gonna marry her, I just wanna mess around with her for a while. That sorority girl you heard about is off doing a semester in Europe and I get lonely at Christmas.”
“Wait,” Kurt said as he stood up to look at his cousin. “You tell Polly about your girlfriend?”
“Naw,” he said, standing up slowly. “Why make it complicated? Besides, my girl let me off the hook for while she’s gone, so it ain’t even cheatin’.”
“You piece of shit,” Kurt said, slowly shaking his head in disbelief.
“What’s it matter to you anyway?” Trey asked. “You think she’s gonna come back here to the swamp to be with you? Please!”
“You can’t do this,” Kurt whispered.
“It’s gonna get done by Christmas. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“I’ll tell her,” Kurt said, his anger rising at last.
“I’ll just deny it and make you look a bigger fool than you already do,” Trey said as Kurt glared at him. “You think I can’t?”
“We done,” Kurt said. “You and me, we done.”
“Shit, Kurt, we never even started,” he said with a dismissive shake of his head and walked back to the table without a backward glance.
* * *
The ride back to Pawpaw and Meemee’s house seemed much longer with Charlotte driving. Kurt hadn’t said a word to anyone since talking to Trey. The idea of Polly and his cousin being together was driving him insane. He opened his mouth a dozen times to tell them all what Trey had said, but the fear that no one would believe him kept shutting it.
When they got back, Uncle Jack was loading up the van with their suitcases and the coolers full of snacks and drinks for the road. Polly and Charlotte headed into the house to get Polly’s things, while Trey went over to talk to Jack.
Standing there in the yard, Kurt kept hoping it was a dream and he’d wake up soon. The whole, horrible weekend replayed in his mind like the mirrors in a fun house. Everything was distorted and wrong, making him feel dizzy and disoriented. He tried blaming the daiquiri, Trey, and Kendall, but the truth was there like a sand bar under the surface of the river.
Polly came out with her suitcase, but Trey raced over to carry it for her before Kurt could move. Charlotte came over to stand with Kurt near the van to say goodbye. Trey handed the suitcase to Jack, then the four of them came together one last time.
Polly hugged Charlotte close. “Oh, I’m so glad I met you! You’ve got my number and my email. I expect you to keep in touch.”
“Oh, I will, trust me,” Charlotte said as they let go.
When she turned to Kurt, he felt his heart stop. She was gorgeous, with an inner light that glowed through her face like a sunbeam. She hugged and let him go again before he could move, but the brief contact burned away t
he fog in his head and left him smiling despite himself. “Kurt, I had so much fun with you on the boat yesterday. You are a great guy. Don’t let what happened with Kendall keep you down, okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” he said with more enthusiasm than he felt.
When she turned to Trey, he swept her up in a spinning hug that lifted her feet off the ground. He kissed her before he began to lower her slowly. By the time her feet touched the ground, she was kissing him back, her arms wrapped tight around his neck.
Kurt felt his stomach lurch, but kept the fake smile plastered on his face until they parted.
“Mommy,” Lisa shouted from the back steps. “Aunt Polly is kissing Uncle Trey!”
“Trey and Polly, sittin’ in a tree,” Jen sang as she danced up to hug Polly’s leg. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
“I’ll be seeing you,” Trey whispered close to her face.
“I hope so,” Polly said with a grin as she backed away. “Thanks again for everything,” she said to them all as she helped the girls climb into the back seat.
There were a few more waves goodbye before Kurt felt his heart start beating again. When it did, the pain nearly took his breath away. He wasn’t going to be okay, he realized then. Nothing would ever be okay again unless he did something different.
Chapter 5: Polly
Polly had just rung the doorbell at Julie’s house when her phone beeped to indicate an incoming text. After digging through her purse for her phone, she unlocked the screen to read the text with a chuckle.
Jen opened the door and said, “Hi, Aunt Polly.” After stepping back to let her inside, she yelled in her childish sing-song voice, “Julie-Mom! Aunt Polly’s here!”
Polly was still grinning as she stepped inside. “Hey, Jen!”
“Come see what we made,” she yelled and dashed off towards the kitchen. Polly followed to find Jen and Lisa sitting at the kitchen table covered with paper, stickers, and glitter in every color of the rainbow. Both girls held up their pictures to show her, but the glitter that hadn’t been glued down yet drizzled down the pages to the fall on the table and floor.
“Oh, those are beautiful,” she said as she moved Lisa’s arm a bit so the glitter would only fall on the table. “Tell me about them.”
