It was a Thursday morning, but I had time to stop by and visit after my workout before I headed to the bar. I washed up, dressed, and bought myself a sandwich at a local shop. I gave my bag of chips to the homeless guy outside. I didn’t know what his backstory was, but I had no illusions about the fact that that could have been me.
I’d been so lucky that Ace had stepped in when he did. At 16, if he hadn’t opened up his doors to me, my whole life could have swung in an entirely different direction. After the accident, I’d basically bounced around like I was in a pinball machine ricocheting off grownups who hated on me in different ways. First, my parents had smacked me around, then teachers and principals yelling about suspension and detention. Then came the officers, police officers, correctional officers, probation officers.
By the time Ace had taken me in, it had seemed as if everyone around me had already decided how my life was going to play out. Ace had been honest. He’d agreed that, to them, I was a done deal. He explained how easy it would be for me to stay on my current path. Just like my father, I could squander my days in and out of prison, ending up with a polluted life, littered with broken relationships.
Only 16, I’d already looked like a six-foot-three tattooed badass with a shaved head and a stare so angry I could practically bore a hole through steel. I’d looked tough on the outside, beyond my years, but on the inside it had stung to know that people looked at me and saw a convicted thief and drug dealer. A big part of me had felt sorely tempted to stick up my middle finger, giving everyone exactly what they wanted. If they wanted a bad guy, I could bring that, rain retribution down on them in epic proportions. Not a problem. At first, it had felt like eating shit not to, like I was sucking it up, playing by their rules while I tried to finish high school, the big guy in the back row older than everyone else.
But Ace had told me that I was smart, and that a diploma, if I could get one, was better than a G.E.D. What was more, he’d told me that the real way to prove everyone wrong would be to channel my anger and actually make something of myself. I needed to carve out my own path, be my own man, earn money without hurting anyone else.
Ace had believed in me when no one else had. I’d spent the last 10-plus years trying to prove him right. Now there I was, a successful business owner, a decade’s worth of a clean record to my name. I had him to thank.
Pulling up at Cavallo Canyon, I was glad I’d been able to talk him into moving there. The man was still spry at 80, but I sure rested easier knowing he had help seconds away. Especially when that help came in the form of Sky.
As I walked down the hall, I heard singing coming out of a room two doors down from Ace. I slowed down to listen. Sure enough, I could tell one of the voices was Sky’s.
“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue.” The door was open. Quiet, I snuck a glance inside. Sky sat on a couch beside a woman with snow white hair. The two of them were holding hands and singing together. The woman kept stopping and patting Sky’s hand, saying “this is my favorite part.” Sky would nod and smile and they’d start again.
I stood there and watched. Creepy as it may have been to lurk in the hallway and eavesdrop, I couldn’t help it. At the bar and around town, sometimes it seemed like all anyone did was snap and bite at everyone else. Online it was worse, with Twitter trolls and selfies begging “look at me” and vicious attacks on Facebook. Sometimes it seemed like everyone relished taking off their gloves and coming out swinging.
Not Sky, though. At first I’d wondered if I was romanticizing her, idealizing her into the perfect woman. But the more I saw of Sky, the more I liked her. Strolling slowly with a woman in a wheelchair, stopping to have conversations, she seemed to have all the qualities I saw so little of day to day. Kindness. Patience. Sky seemed genuinely nice. And she just happened to also be sexy as hell. Sitting there singing, I couldn’t stop watching as she tilted up her heart-shaped face and moved her lips shaped like Cupid’s bow. Even in those scrubs, I could see her generous curves just made for my touch.
“Hello there, young man!” Uh oh, the elderly woman had spotted me. I tried to slink away. “You there, listening in the hallway,” she called me out. “Don’t be shy! Come on in!”
“Sorry, ma’am.” I took a step in to offer my apologies. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Sky jumped up when she saw me, turning bright red.
“You’re welcome to sing along!” her older companion assured me. “Do you know the words?”
“Uh, no, can’t say I do.” I took a step back out into the hallway again. “Sorry for disturbing you.”
“I’ll be back in a few hours, Janice,” Sky promised, heading out to join me. Eyes wide, she poked me with her elbow. “What were you doing, spying on us?”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“You were listening to us sing! I can’t believe it.” She brought her hand to her forehead as if she wanted to hide behind it.
“Sky.” I brought my hand to hers, taking it down. She had nothing to be embarrassed about. Only then I was standing and holding her hand, so I dropped it quick. “You don’t have to feel shy. You have a beautiful voice.” I may have been exaggerating, but I couldn’t exactly say what I was thinking, that she was beautiful inside and out.
She burst out laughing. “That’s a lie. I have a terrible voice.”
“You don’t,” I insisted. “I mean, I’m not saying you should quit your job and go audition for The Voice.” She rolled her eyes at me. “But that was so nice in there.”
“She loves that song.” She shrugged.
“It’s a good one.”
We arrived at Ace’s door and I swear I felt like we were at the end of a date, me about to ask her if she wanted to come inside. Or, better yet, lean down, stroke a thumb across her jaw, tilt her head back as I sank down into a kiss. “You want to—?” I began.
“I’ve got to go check on someone.”
“Right.” I nodded, like she’d cut our evening together short instead of telling me she had something she needed to do at work before she could visit my grandfather. I needed my head examined.
“But I’ll stop by in a bit,” she promised.
I watched her walk down the hall, unable to force myself to play it cool. The woman had a glorious ass. I hated that someone else got to touch it instead of me.
“How’s our girl?” Ace asked as I entered. He must have overheard us talking.
“I heard her singing.” I sat down next to him on the couch. Just a couple of guys, both with a big crush on the same woman. Only she flirted right back with Ace.
“‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ with Janice?” he asked. I nodded. “That Sky’s a catch. I don’t know a thing about her husband, but I’m sure he doesn’t deserve her.”
“He doesn’t.”
“Is that right?”
“That’s right.” I stood up, suddenly feeling restless.
“How’re things at work?”
I shrugged. “Same old.” I gave him a little detail, pacing the room. Then I headed into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face.
Time for a change. I rifled around for some hair clippers in Ace’s vanity. I knew he had a pair. I’d bought them for him to replace the set he’d had since 1956. Running my hand through my short hair, I decided I’d buzz it down. I might even shave my head completely bald. No muss, no fuss.
I liked the feel of the clippers over my skull. Out with the old, in with the new. It was April, springtime, and I felt ready for a fresh start. When I was done, I brushed off my shoulders as best I could and headed out for Ace’s dustpan and broom.
“Get over here! You look like a shorn sheep!” Ace called me to the couch. And look who was sitting next to him. I must not have heard her come in over the buzz of the clippers.
Running my hand along my newly-cropped hair, I asked Sky, “What do you think?”
Nodding shyly, she answered, “I like it.”
“Course she’s going to say she likes it. She’
s too polite!” Ace barked. “Turn around. Did you clean it up in back?”
Dutifully, I turned for his inspection. “What a mess!” he declared.
I guess I’d failed. “It’s hard to get the back.” I felt the patches I’d missed with my fingers.
“Help him out, Sky,” Ace told her.
“That’s OK,” I started, but she stood up from the couch. I followed her into the bathroom.
“Here, let me.” She picked up the clippers and clicked them on with a buzz. Standing on her tiptoes, she rested a hand between my shoulder blades and leaned in. I could feel the heat from her palm through my shirt, light and teasing on my back.
I could take my shirt off. I could say it would be easier that way, less mess. Most women seemed to enjoy the sight of me bare-chested. I’d like to watch Sky’s reaction, see if her eyes widened, whether she licked her lips. Would she find excuses to touch me, trace my tattoos and ask what they meant? Press against me, brushing along my shoulders, my back? Or would she get all flustered and shy, pink in the face, her hand shaking as she moved?
I kept my shirt on. She was married. As she touched the clippers to the back of my neck, I could feel her breath on my nape. She stroked where she’d shaved, seeing if it was smooth. Her fingers caressed my skin, while her soft breasts grazed against me. She took her time, paying close attention, moving slowly. Blowing on my neck, she brushed the skin clear with her fingertips.
I shifted slightly, clearing my throat. She had such a sensuality to her. I could feel it in her lingering touch, see it in the way her lips pursed as she blew. The way she moved, gentle, deliberate, taking care, made me think of how well she’d do other things, too. She wouldn’t rush. She’d linger, savoring every touch, stroke and lick.
Our eyes met in the mirror. Standing so close, neither of us moved. All it would take would be a slight turn to my side. Everything could change in an instant as I wrapped her into an embrace. I could almost feel how good it would be to clasp her against me, my arms drawing her in close, her breasts against my chest and fingers clutching at my shoulders as we kissed.
I didn’t move an inch. I stood still, wanting what I couldn’t have, until she announced brightly, “You’re all set!” She set down the clippers, still buzzing, and left the bathroom.
When I followed, she was already opening the door to leave. “It’s room at best temperature,” she called to Ace. She paused, flustered, realizing that wasn’t quite right. “I mean, it’s best at room temperature. Unless you want the pie heated up and then you can put it in the microwave.” Her words came out in a breathy rush. “But only 10 seconds at a time because fruit can heat up unevenly.”
“Thank you for the apple pie. You’re an angel.” Ace walked over and gave her a hug. It made no sense at all that I felt jealous.
“I hope you enjoy it,” she told him.
“Pies from Heaven, that’s what you should call your shop. Jax had the idea you should open your own pie shop. Did he tell you that?”
“He did.” She bit her lower lip, flashing a quick glance at me, then away.
“Sky’s Pies,” I said. “That’s what you should call it.”
Ace laughed and slapped his thigh. “You’ve got it all worked out, Jax.”
It got her to smile, even though she said, “I don’t know about opening my own shop.”
“Why not?” Ace asked. “You know who’s the guy to help you do it.” He pointed straight at me, as subtle as a neon sign. “This guy’s a successful restaurateur.”
After she left, I gave Ace a look. He knew exactly what I was thinking, but he played dumb. “What?” he asked, trying to sound innocent. “Can’t an old man have some fun? What’s the harm if I want to play matchmaker?”
“She’s married, for one.”
“She likes you. Mark my words, she likes you.”
I knew it shouldn’t have made me happy to hear him say that. But it did. Truth was, the thought that Sky might like me made me feel happier than just about anything else had in a long while.
§
I sat back on my leather couch, icing the knuckles on my right hand. There’d been a rough fight at the bar that night, and I’d had to get involved. “Be the bigger man. Don’t just look that way.” That’s what Ace had always told me. Looked like I wasn’t following that advice too well.
In my defense, the man I’d punched had it coming. He’d started things, and taken out a switchblade, so I knew I had to end it, quick. But it was still a shit end to a shit day. I’d gotten a call that morning from my old man. He was back in jail. He’d been picked up for assault and battery down in Florida. It looked like he might be facing seven to ten years. He wanted me to post bail.
Yeah, I’d gotten the message that fists didn’t get you where you wanted in life. But there I was, icing my right one because I’d used it against some guy’s jaw a couple of hours ago. I got myself another beer and put a few new ice cubes in the plastic bag.
“Fuck,” I exhaled, stretching out on the couch, settling the bag on my aching hand. Flicking on the TV, I figured I might not make it into the bedroom. I could sack out there for the night, numbing my hand while I numbed my brain with stupid shows. But my mind still wandered as I channel surfed.
What would Sky have thought of the whole scene? She couldn’t be a complete stranger to violence, married to that husband of hers. But somehow I couldn’t wrap my mind around the two of them as a couple. I couldn’t picture the two of them together.
Maybe there was a lot more to the guy than I’d seen. To be fair, it wasn’t exactly as if Griller and I had had heart-to-hearts. He’d come in to my bar from time to time, and, yeah, I’d seen him getting cozy with other women. I’d learned not to make assumptions, though, so maybe the guy was doing right by Sky. But with a woman like her, what was he doing even flirting with other girls?
If I had Sky as my woman, I’d treat her like a queen. I wouldn’t be able to wait to get home every night. I already thought other women paled in comparison to her, and I hadn’t even ever touched her. It was dangerous that mentally I added a “yet.”
I wasn’t going to touch her, not the next time I saw her, nor the time after that. I wouldn’t do that to her, putting her in that position. Even if I was starting to get the sense that she might not mind if I did. I wasn’t blind. I saw the way she flushed around me. When our eyes had met in the mirror, she’d looked just as heated as me. But feeling something and doing something about it were completely different animals.
I could tell by the way she looked up at me, she thought I was a good person. She thought I was doing right by Ace, like I was helpful and kind. She lit up when I noticed little things about her, or gave her a compliment. It was like she thought I was a good guy. Around her, I felt like one.
Most women seemed to like me for all the wrong reasons. They saw me, big and muscly, riding around on a Harley, and they figured I was the type of badass Hollywood put up on a movie screen. But that kind of badass, all posturing and backtalk, flexing muscles and itching for a fight, that wasn’t me. In my experience, the men who were truly the toughest were quiet about it. They kept an eye on things, only striking if they had to, and then they made sure it was a knockout punch.
I’d punched a man so hard tonight his teeth had rattled. But I didn’t get an adrenaline rush from it. Girls had flocked around me afterwards, wanting to take care of my hand, stroking my bicep as they told me how scared they’d been when the fight broke out. I could have taken any one of them home with me. This girl Nikki had just about hopped on the back of my bike without my even asking. She’d be fun, no questions asked, no strings attached. But I wasn’t interested.
The whole situation was fucked up. I’d finally met a girl who liked me for the right reasons. Sky saw and liked the man that I wanted to be. But I couldn’t do anything about it, because trying to get with her and make her cheat on her husband? That was a classic bad guy move.
So there I was, on my couch alone, wanting the one I
couldn’t have. Because truth was, more and more, it was Sky and Sky alone on my mind.
§
On Friday, Liam called. He was pretty good about keeping in touch.
“When you coming out?” I asked him, as always. Whenever he came to visit we always had a good time. He was the kind of guy you could introduce to anyone and he’d charm the pants right off them. Especially women.
“Don’t know, man. Maybe this summer.”
“How about the Fourth? Or are you having your party?” Liam still lived on Naugatuck, the island where the four of us had gotten into the accident. Every year he threw a rager, and usually had crazy stories that came out of it. Naugatuck attracted the uber rich and more than one celebrity had made a cameo at Liam’s.
“Don’t know.” He seemed unusually vague, like he had something on his mind.
“You good?” I asked, the male equivalent of letting him know he could tell me anything. I’d known him since we were ten. I could still remember meeting him, the summer both our fathers worked together on a construction site. First thing we’d ever done together was set off a shitload of illegal firecrackers. Liam was my kind of guy, always up for a good time and in your corner if you ever needed him. It made sense to me that he’d become a firefighter, helping people for a living.
“Yeah, yeah.” He either was good, or didn’t want to tell me about what was bothering him. “How about you? Tommy still giving you a hard time?”
I filled him in on my business partner. I liked being my own boss. I was doing all right for myself, better than I’d ever expected, really, owning my own place. But Tommy and I, going on year four? We had some differences of opinion.
All of You: Jax & Sky (All In Book 3) Page 5
