More than enough of her didn’t that she knew she needed to think things through carefully.
She had arguments on both sides, for and against.
When Essie had her baby, Cali assumed she’d get some sort of subconscious mental nudge one direction or the other but…
Nada.
She didn’t mind babysitting for her friends at all. But there was neither a deep longing when handing him back over to his parents, nor was there desperate eagerness to be rid of him.
Max and Sean had assured her that the decision was totally hers, and however she decided was fine with them. She believed them, too.
And yet…
She couldn’t decide.
She’d finally confessed the extent of her relationship with both men to her parents when they came for a visit last Christmas. There wasn’t any way of getting around it, either.
Cali refused to deny her relationship to either man, so that meant the truth had to come out. It helped that her parents lived in Montana, and while they didn’t enthusiastically embrace her “lifestyle choice,” they didn’t harass or disown her over it, either. Once the initial discomfort passed, the holiday visit had gone well.
She’d also glossed over what she did for a living, leaving it at managing several online websites. Which was technically correct.
Just not specifically correct.
She still ran the animal shelter’s website, where she’d been working when she became involved with the men.
She had dinner ready and on the table by the time her men arrived home from work. Max pulled her in for a kiss first. With his dark blond hair and lean and lanky build, he was her more dominant man of the two of them. Both men were switches, but the “default” mode had seemed to settle into Sean being happy deferring to Max.
Sean, with his playful ways and crisp blue eyes, was a little stockier than Max, but their talkative guy could always cheer Cali up or make her smile. He pulled her in for a kiss once Max relinquished her.
“Have you heard from Kel today?” he asked after releasing her.
“No. I thought he was coordinating with you guys?”
“Last we heard from him,” Max said, “was when he texted us on Monday that he’d drop the suspension frame off tonight so we can set it up and get it ready.”
“You want me to call him?”
Max frowned and pulled out his phone. “No, he said he’d be here. I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy.” He scrolled through texts. “He said he’d be here by eight tonight. It’s not critical. We can always go pick it up tomorrow or something.”
“Did you get the St. Patrick’s Day header done yet, babe?” There was so much joyful hope in Sean’s expression that Cali burst out laughing.
“Not yet. I can’t decide on a background.”
“Aw.”
“You’ll get your moment of humiliation, don’t worry.”
“I’m beginning to think it’s his kink,” Max snarked.
“I would never be so selfish as to deny Baxter his spotlight.” Sean bent over to pick up the spoiled “star” and give the tuxedo cat some love.
Baxter head-bumped Sean’s chin and loudly purred.
“We’re going to need more of those small acrylic paddles,” Cali said as she reached over to pet Baxter. “They always sell out when we run a special.”
“I already ordered stock material,” Max said. “We can pick it up Monday.”
“Quit playing with the pussy so we can eat,” Cali teased.
Sean laughed at the now old joke before he set Baxter down. “Yes, ma’am.”
She bumped him with her hip. “Don’t get me too used to hearing you say that, buster.”
He bumped her back. “Maybe I’m in need of a good double-topping tonight.”
“Ooh,” Max said. “Someone’s frisky.”
“He’s always frisky,” Cali said. “Maybe we need to start looking at chastity belts for him.”
Sean pouted. “I’m not that bad.”
Cali and Max exchanged a glance before they burst out laughing, “Yeah, you are,” they said in unison.
Chapter Three
They’d already eaten dinner and had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when they heard Kel’s truck backing up in their driveway.
“And see?” Max said. “There he is.”
They figured it’d be easier to get Kel’s frame moved over that evening so they didn’t have to worry about shuffling cars or dodging people Saturday. And Kel had a paid shoot scheduled for Friday night, meaning he couldn’t deliver it then. Plus, they were going to borrow it through next week for a few more shoots with Sean and Baxter.
They walked out to greet Kel, Cali a little disappointed to see Mallory wasn’t with him. He’d already gotten out, his back to them as he opened the rear hatch of his truck’s topper and the tailgate.
“Hey, daddio,” she joked. “How’s Mal doing?”
When he turned, not only did she, but Max and Sean also visibly reacted. Kel looked…horrible.
“Not good,” he softly said, slumping against the tailgate.
Cali felt a chill settle deep within her. “What happened?”
But as Kel started crying, in Cali’s heart, she already knew.
They quickly got him inside, onto the couch, as he started choking out the story.
“She started having cramps on Tuesday morning and we headed to the doctor immediately. They told us to come in. And…” He sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. “The baby was in distress. They rushed Mal in and tried and…” He shook his head, unable to continue.
“Oh, my gosh! I’m so sorry.” She hugged him tightly, now feeling horrible about what she’d said to him outside. “Me and my stupid mouth.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”
“Why didn’t you call us? We would have come be with you guys and—”
“Mal wouldn’t let me. Mal only wanted me and my mom, and Chelbie, Rich, and Nick, and Chelbie’s parents. She begged me not to call anyone else then. Tilly’s overseas right now and Mal didn’t want her flying home for this.”
Cali tightly hugged him again. “I’m so sorry. Is Mal all right?”
“She came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon. They did an emergency C-section, because she’d felt the baby moving before we got there, and they hoped maybe they could…” He broke down sobbing again. “They couldn’t save the baby. She’d already died and they couldn’t…”
Max and Sean moved in to hug him. “I’m so sorry,” Max quietly said. “What can we do for you?”
“Mal…she’s devastated. I mean, we both are. I’ve been kind of numb. At least I can focus on her right now. Please don’t call her yet. She asked me to ask people not to call her yet. They warned me that it’s normal to want to withdraw for a while.”
“Do they know what happened?” Cali asked.
“Not yet. We opted for an autopsy. To know. Sometimes, they say it just…happens.” He took another deep breath. “I called Landry because I wanted to find out where Tilly was. On the off-chance Tilly was here, I wanted her there. But she’s in the UK right now. He said he’ll handle telling her tonight.”
“Call Doyle for help,” Cali said. “Or Ted.”
Kel slowly nodded. “That’s a good idea. I hadn’t thought about that. Needless to say, we won’t be here this weekend. I doubt Chelbie and her guys will either.”
“I feel bad you brought this tonight,” Sean said. “If we’d known—”
“Mom and Chelbie’s with her right now. Mal told me to come do it. I just…” He looked desperately lost. “We painted the nursery last week.” Silent tears rolled down his cheeks. “Everything looked so good last week at the doctor’s visit. We did everything right.”
A harsh laugh escaped him as he wiped at his eyes again. “Mal’s even been aggravated at me because I’ve refused to play with her, even though the doctor said I could. She got really mouthy with me last weekend and we kind of got into a fight abou
t it because she was upset that I wouldn’t even spank her. I didn’t want to risk anything, right? I mean, we made love, but…”
He dissolved into more tears. “Now she’s trying to blame herself for getting upset, even though the doctor told her no, that’s not what caused this.”
“Do you want us to keep this secret for now?” Max asked.
He slowly shook his head. “Please tell our friends for us. I mean, don’t post it on Fet, but tell people who are coming to the party. Ask them to spread the word, please. And not to contact Mal yet. If they want to contact me, that’s fine, but she specifically asked me to ask people that. She’s in shock and doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now. I need to focus on her. You can give them my number, if they need it. And Chelbie’s. Chelbie volunteered to take calls, too. Once Mal’s feeling up to reaching out, she will.”
Cali studied her friend. She’d never seen the man look so…utterly lost. Sean stepped away to get a box of tissues from the guest bath.
“What can we do for you? How are you doing?” Cali asked.
Another shuddering breath escaped Kel. “I don’t know. And…I don’t know.” He slowly shook his head. “Like I said, I’m able to focus on her. I need to be strong for her. I have to. I don’t have another option.”
“You need to let someone be strong for you,” Max said. “This isn’t just Mal grieving. You can’t stuff your feelings.”
“I know.” He took a tissue Sean offered him and blew his nose. “This is really the first chance I’ve had away from her to…process. You guys are the…first I’ve told. Besides Landry.” He looked haunted, hollow.
“Please call Ted or Doyle,” Cali said. “Or even come talk to us. I’m here all day. I don’t know the right things to say, but I’ll listen, if that makes any difference.”
“Thanks. One thing I found out, that I never knew, was Mom had two miscarriages before she got pregnant with me. She and Mal are really close, too, so that’s helped. Mom gets it.”
Feeling helpless, Cali looked to Max and Sean.
Max took over. “Just know that whatever you need, we’re here for you. If it’s someone to listen to you, or you need help taking care of stuff around the house, or whatever it is you need. Call us. Please?”
“Thanks. I will. I guess I keep hoping this is a nightmare I’m going to wake up from. And I don’t. We weren’t expecting her to get pregnant and had finally wrapped our heads around the fact that we were going to be parents, and now…”
Sean handed him more tissues.
Kel’s voice sounded thick, heavy. Hoarse. “The staff was…very caring. They took care of her and bundled her up in blankets and a little knit hat and everything and brought her in to us so we could hold her. Just a little of her face peeking out. And Mom was able to take some pictures for us.” Kel started sobbing again, eyes closed, as the three of them held him.
None of them interrupted him, letting him grieve. “We opted to have her cremated,” he whispered, as if he barely had the strength to say it. “They…gave us options. We’d already decided on her name weeks ago. Melissa Michelle, after her mom and mine. She was going to be our little M&M…”
Cali closed her eyes even as she kept her arms wrapped around him, feeling her men’s arms around them both, too.
It took Kel several minutes to finally regain his composure and sit back, more tissues pressed into his hand by Sean.
“Thanks, guys. Sorry to broadside you with this.”
“Hey, no,” Max said. “We’re here for you. Seriously.”
“Maybe we should cancel Saturday night,” Sean said.
Kel shook his head. “Absolutely not. I appreciate the thought, but we’d feel worse if you guys did that. Please, seriously. We want people to come and have a good time and not focus on us. It’s…it’s life. You have no reason to feel guilty for having a good time.”
Kel went to freshen up. While he was gone, the three of them silently held each other, a little more tightly than before.
After helping Kel unload the frame and getting it assembled on the lanai, and following a final round of hugs, they stood in the driveway to watch as he drove off.
“I’m going to walk down to Essie’s for a minute,” Cali quietly said.
Max laid a hand on her shoulder. “Want us to go with you?”
“Only if you want to.”
“I’ll go lock the house and grab my keys,” Sean said.
Max laced fingers with Cali as they waited for him to return. Then Max turned and stared at her with his intense brown gaze. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He pulled her into his arms, his chin resting on the top of her head. When Sean rejoined them, they walked down to Essie’s house with Cali in the middle, the men holding her hands.
It was Ted who answered the door, his smile immediately darkening a little. “Hey. Come on in. Is something wrong?”
* * * *
Max opted to take point on this, suspecting Cali was still processing. “Yeah. Are the others available?”
“Sure. This sounds bad.”
Max nodded.
They followed him into the living room, where Josh was watching TV. “Hey, guys.” He stood for hugs.
“I’ll get Mark and Essie.” Ted headed down the hallway.
Josh scowled. “Oookay. What’s going on?”
“We’d rather only tell it once,” Max said.
Ted soon returned, followed by Essie and Mark. She seemed to suss out the situation immediately and made a beeline for Cali to hug her.
“What’s wrong?”
They all sat. “Kel just brought the frame by for Saturday night,” Max said. “And…” He struggled for a way to explain this without sounding like a cold bastard. “Mal lost the baby Tuesday morning.”
Essie gasped, her hand covering her mouth as tears spilled down her cheeks. “No! Oh, no.”
Mark and Josh, who’d ended up on either side of her on the couch, held her.
Max repeated what Kel had related to them, including his admonition to have the party go on as scheduled and for people to enjoy themselves.
“We’ll get the e-mail list from Tony and send out a note tonight about it. But we wanted to tell you guys in person since we’re right here.”
“I’ll reach out to Kel,” Ted said. “I don’t specialize in grief counseling, but if they want to talk, I’m here. Or I can help them find someone, if they’re interested in that, if Doyle can’t help.”
“I know he’ll appreciate that,” Max said. “I don’t know what else any of us can do, other than be there for them if they need anything.”
“Sometimes,” Ted said, “that’s all you can do.”
Chapter Four
When they returned home, Cali stopped by the office, grabbed her laptop and cell phone from her desk, and brought them into bed with them. None of them were feeling much more than snuggly, still trying to absorb what had happened.
Yes, tragedies had struck their close-knit group before, but this felt even more…unfair, somehow.
Especially considering both Mal and Kel had lost family under tragic circumstances. Kel’s father and both of Mal’s parents were killed by drunk drivers.
The baby had been an unexpected yet bright and shining moment in their lives. Something everyone was happy for on their behalf.
While Sean and Max decided on what to watch on TV, Cali called Tony, knowing he’d probably still be up.
He answered. “Hey. Looking like it’s going to be a great party.”
She plunged right in. “Yeah. Listen, can you please forward me the list of e-mails for everyone who’s coming to the party?”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
This time, she told him instead of letting Max do the dirty work.
“Oh…wow. That sucks. Man. I’ll send Kel a text. Yeah, of course I’ll forward it to you. Give me a minute, because I need to fire up my laptop.”
“Thanks. I wanted to pre-warn everyone. An
d if they wanted to drop off cards or something here, we’ll make sure they get delivered to them.”
“Of course.” He sighed. “I never know how to react in a situation like this. I feel so bad for them.”
“I think all we can do is be there for them and let them tell us what they need.”
“I guess you’re right. Okay, let me get that sent to you.”
“Thanks.”
She ended the call and stared at her phone for a long moment.
Sean tipped his head onto her shoulder. “Want me to send the e-mail?”
“No, I’ll do it.” She shoved thoughts out of her head, dark thoughts trying to creep in.
* * * *
Sean worried about Cali. The news had hit them all hard, naturally, but Cali especially so.
If he had to guess, it wasn’t just because Mal and Kel were their friends.
Over their heads hung the faint cloud, the question left unanswered and unaddressed for a while. They had tabled the discussion of whether or not to have a baby simply because Cali wasn’t sure.
For his own part, Sean vacillated back and forth all the time on the issue, but was determined not to let his feelings influence Cali’s.
He loved Max, and he loved Cali. He considered himself blessed, especially when factoring in the heartache he and Max had gone through in the past when they first got together.
He knew Max’s thoughts echoed his. They’d had more time alone to discuss this during their drives to and from work every day.
Cali, however, had sort of closed off on the topic following their last discussion on the matter at the Kinko de Mayo party they’d hosted a while back.
He didn’t look over her shoulder and read her e-mail even though she was snuggled between him and Max on the bed. When she finished typing, she re-read it, made a few adjustments, then silently tapped both of them to read it.
Dear Friends,
Kel asked us to pass this information along to everyone. Please don’t post it on Fet or social media, per their request, but Kel said you can quietly mention it to people who might know them.
Happy Spank Patrick's Day [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) Page 2
