“You told me to practice, Husband,” I said softly, looking down at him. “I have been.”
I gave him a wide berth, stepping past him through the door. He’d be healed in a minute or two and I had to get to the great room. I could teleport from there, I hoped.
I thought for a fleeting second about saying good-bye to Elle, but told myself I’d call her tomorrow. For all I knew she’d agree with Theo, and maybe help him turn me. Jenny was here too, somewhere, and who knew what she thought about this. We could all be werecougars together, one big happy family...!
I ran downstairs, near hysteria. Trying to teleport from the great room failed. There was the sound of a body moving upstairs, then a groan, and I knew I had no more time. Grabbing my purse from the dining room table, I ran frantically to the front door, and unlocked it, stepping outside. I tried teleporting again, but it still didn’t work. With a frustrated cry, I darted across the front lawn, now buried in knee-deep snow and ice, slipping and falling a few times. On reaching the trees at the far side of the lawn, I tried to teleport again and found myself in Hayden’s kitchen.
I sank down on the floor, covered with sweat, my clothes wet through, panting hard. I lay there for a long time and just breathed, telling myself I was safe. No one came as the minutes passed, something for which I was very grateful.
Eventually, I stood and slowly made my way to the gold and green room. After showering, I put on one of the guest robes, took my clothes downstairs, and got them washing. I was grateful not to meet anyone, glad it was almost dawn.
Part of me wondered if I should go to Devlin tonight, and tell him what happened. Right now, I wanted no one near me, and no sounds. I wanted to think of nothing for a while, to sleep with no nightmares. But I was sure to, after all that had happened. With a reluctant sigh, I rummaged in my purse, pulling out the vial Terian had given to me, and got into bed.
Do I trust him enough to take it?
Terian had given me that potion for sleeping. He said it wouldn’t hurt me. Titus would be here, in case I felt odd tomorrow, or had some problem. Screw it. I had to sleep, and without something to make me sleep, I wouldn’t. Dev’s sleeping pills also weren’t an option, as I might have nightmares from which I wouldn’t be able to wake. I needed sleep with only good dreams.
Just to be safe, just in case I woke up desiring Theo, I left a voicemail for Titus telling him what I was doing, so he could stop me going to him. Then I swallowed the contents of the vial. It was sweet, like chocolate liquor. Easing myself down on the guest bed, I slipped into dreams.
* * * *
I awoke to find myself in a man’s warm arms. Lash?
I looked up to greet him happily, even as I snuggled into the heat of him. But instead of reptilian eyes, cherrywood eyes were looking down into mine.
“Terian?”
“I’m sorry about Theo,” he said quietly. “He told me that it’s over between you.”
So you thought you’d come and replace him? “What have you done?” I whispered, recoiling from him. “What is this?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly, lifting his hands off me and putting some distance between us. “This is no spell, just a dream, a dream that will fade like any other. You asked me once what my power was, Sar, what faerie magic I had. It’s mostly to influence dreams. I didn’t know that, when I made that potion for you so many years ago. It wasn’t until I told my father what I’d done that he was able to break your bond. It was my fault, because I did the spell wrong, with just one added ingredient. But please don’t worry, this one I did right. You won’t remember this dream, Sar. But I will. I wanted to dream with you once, even if nothing happened but this, just me holding you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you,” he said tenderly, looking down at me. “Because I’ve loved you for years, and I intend to be faithful to Sundown, when I marry her. And I wanted to be with you like this one time, before I give her my vow.”
“Like a last one night stand before your wedding?” How nice. Ugh.
“You don’t have to do anything with me you don’t want to,” Terian said simply. “I’m not asking you for anything, Sar. It’s enough to be here, dreaming with you. And you could never mean as little to me as any one night stand. Not after all you’ve done for me.”
“You’ll hurt her by doing this, even just holding me.”
“My body is alone, in a hotel room, states away,” Terian said calmly. “Theo called me a half hour ago, and told me what happened between you. He was upset, and he’d been drinking at the Alan’s Creek bar with Jenny—”
“I don’t care about why he did what he did, or about what he feels now. I—”
“I’m saying there is no one to hear me, if I should say anything in my sleep. Just as I know you are at Hayden, and you are most likely alone, too, somehow, because if Devlin knew what I’m guessing happened between Theo and you, by now I’d have gotten a courtesy call from Titus about how Devlin was sending him to kill Theo. This is just a dream. No binding power, no anything. I made very sure of that, Sar. I’ve fucked up your life enough over the years with my magic. I’m not going to do it again.”
Yeah, right. “How do I know that?”
“The spell only gives me access to be able to enter your dream. You are the one who chooses what happens in the dream. With Theo and you, you both chose it, and had equal control. I have no control over what you dream of, none, though I can and will wake you, if you begin to have a nightmare—”
So that’s what he meant about ensuring good dreams. “I’m sorry,” I said, staring up at him. “But nothing is going to happen between us.”
“That’s fine,” Terian said, patting my hand with his. “Fall back asleep again and let me hold you, please,” he whispered. “You’ll either wake up, or go on to another dream. There are other dreams you can have tonight, Sar. Sleep in this one, and go on to one of them.”
I eased back down in the bed, though I kept my distance. I was tempted to ask him if I looked fat, but decided not to. In a few moments I fell asleep.
I awoke in the flame room, but it wasn’t the flame room I knew. This room had furnishings, not my sewing supplies. I was in a full size bed, the same one I’d made up in the gold and green room. I was dressed, as I had been before with Terian. And I wasn’t alone.
I looked over to see Lash lying sprawled indolently beside me, grinning at me as only he could, dressed in his trademark black. But his weapons were not on his body; they were beside him on the nightstand within easy reach. He opened his mouth to say something, but I grabbed hold of him and pulled him to me and kissed him with all the longing and love I’d been holding back for weeks. He groaned, and his passion for me seemed to match mine. He tightened his arms around me, and began taking off my clothes. I was already trying to strip off his. I made little noises of frustration, as I couldn’t seem to get his clothes off as fast as he was removing mine. He pushed me gently back and stripped off his shirt and turtleneck. I ran my hands over his tanned skin, hissing a little myself in eagerness. I reached up and kissed him, and he moaned as he covered my lips with his own. He rolled on top of me, his erection pressing against me. I groaned, and he chuckled roughly, the sound mirth mingled with strong desire.
But I’d had enough foreplay. I’d hungered for him too long, and been through too much shit to wait any longer. I pushed down his jeans and grabbed hold of him, running my hand over the head of his penis in a quick rhythm. He let out a loud cry and his head arched back as he felt me touch him. I moved under him, spreading my legs as he moved into position above me. Then he stopped still, drawing a questioning look from me.
“I love you, Sar,” Lash said, his dark eyes full of emotion, as they had been that day in the hotel room. “You’re breathtaking, my Love. So breathtaking to behold.”
Tears came to my eyes, and I took his face in my hands. “I love you, Lash,” I said, looking at him tenderly. There was a sudden look of shock on his face so strong, and his ey
es flattened, as if he were trying to conceal his feelings.
“No, don’t change, don’t hide from me,” I said. “I love you. I should have told you months ago, but I had to work out my life. But Theo’s leaving me, it’s over. And I’ve wanted you so much for months it’s killing me inside.”
Lash kissed me, and there seemed a sadness in his kissing that I didn’t understand. “Say it for me again,” he hissed softly. “Tell me, as we make love, that you love me.” Then he very carefully entered me and began to move.
Lash made love to me for a long time, thrusting into me gently, stroking me, kissing me, touching me so tenderly it brought tears to my eyes. And through it all, I told him over and over again that I loved him. And when we finally came, we came together, crying out, clutching each other as if we would never let go. After I lay in his arms, and cuddled him to me.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I murmured, sated completely. “Do you still want to be with me, like you wanted to before?”
“I want you more than anything,” Lash hissed. “More than the air I breathe.” I ran my hands over his chest and he sighed. “I’ve longed to feel you like this, to feel you run your hands over me, to tell you I love you—”
I felt a pricking of unease, and looked up at him, into his dark eyes.
“What is it, baby?” he hissed softly, “What’s wrong?”
Lash would never say that, not when we were like this. He would have told me I felt good to him. He wouldn’t have called me “My Love” either, though Danial or Dev had often. And he would never, ever, call me “baby,” though someone else had, someone I knew...
This isn’t Lash!
I recoiled, and tried to roll my body away, but a warm hand grabbed me gently, and kept me still. It was suddenly Terian who lay beside me, whose body still wore the sweat of our lovemaking.
I began hyperventilating, my surprise switching to white hot rage. He’d deceived me with his magic, so he could have me! Bastard! “Are you going to go all demon on me again?” I finally got out, so angry it was hard to speak. “Or are you demon already?”
“No,” he said, his eyes sad. “I’m sorry again about what I did to you—”
“Did you just bind me to yourself?” I spat the words at him in fury.
“No,” Terian said, his cherrywood eyes tear-filled now. “I promise, no.”
I didn’t know what to say. I felt betrayed, duped, and disgusted. “How could you do this, add on this betrayal, after everything else you’d already done to me? I trusted you! I thought you were my friend, Terian!”
“Sar, you won’t remember this,” he said with a trace of sadness. “If you’ll remember anything, you’ll remember you dreamed of Lash. You weren’t supposed to know I was riding your dream with you. It must be your demon blood that revealed my true form to you. Don’t begrudge me dreaming with you, please don’t, not after all the years I’ve wanted to—”
“I hate you!” I screeched at him, pulling the covers over my nakedness as I yanked free of him and rose from the bed to run for the door. But the door disappeared, leaving only blank wall in front of me.
“Can’t you understand I needed this, to at least try to be with you like this?” Terian said desperately. “I’ve had this fantasy for years, ever since you and Theo dreamed together! That I would meet you in dreams, and you would want me, love me—”
“But I don’t,” I said forcefully. “And you can’t make me love you!” I stopped with a hitching breath, afraid, because it was easily within his power to make me magically love him.
Terian reached out and grabbed my hand. “I would never do that to you. Never.”
You would do it in a heartbeat, if you thought you could get away with it.
“I didn’t know you loved Lash,” he continued. “I took the form of your heart’s desire, and I expected to wear Devlin’s form, or Danial’s maybe. I couldn’t see who you perceived me to be. Though I should have guessed, from what happened in September. Why didn’t you tell him?”
“That is so none of your business.” Asshole.
“Tell him,” Terian said firmly. “Lash should know, especially now that you can be with him. After everything that’s happened, he should know you’re in love with him.” He got out of bed, suddenly clothed. I looked down to see that I was also, and let the covers drop to the floor. “And it’s enough that I shared this with you. Know I love you very much, and that it’s meant a lot to me, that you shared this with me, even if you thought it was him loving you.”
“If I won’t remember any of this, why bother telling me?”
“You won’t,” he said bitterly. “But I wanted to say it to you, to remember I said it. To remember I had the guts to say it. It was so wonderful to hear you say you loved me, to pretend for just a little that you did, to see what your face looks like when you tell a man you love him, and really mean it with your whole heart. And just for once to pretend that I was that man.”
Terian took my hand in his. “Awaken,” he whispered.
I woke up, wiping my eyes, which oddly were wet as if I’d been crying. What time is it? Why had I woken? I had a dream. I was doing something...talking to someone...Terian. But what had we talked about? And Lash was in there someplace too? The dream fragments faded even as I tried to recall details, leaving me with just the vague sensation of happiness.
Turning over, I let it go, relaxing back and enjoying the peace filling me. I fell back asleep, and dreamed no dreams at all.
About noon, I woke up. I lay there for a while, thought about the past horrendous night, and weeks previous to it, and made a plan of action.
Chapter Three
First, I was going to start exercising every day. I was also going to eat less. When my jeans fit again, I’d slack off.
Second, I was going to spend more time with Elle and Venus.
Third, I was going to find a way to write my parents, and get them letters, since I couldn’t call. Titus should be able to teleport them, or maybe there was some other mystical way?
Fourth, I was going to try again to be nicer to Devlin.
Fifth, when Lash came back, I’d tell him if he wanted to be with me, he could be.
And Sixth, I was going to stop doing things because they were best for everyone else. I was going to stop telling myself that it was okay to do something if I didn’t want to do something, because someone I loved wanted me to do it, and I wanted them to be happy, and it was better that way. I’d put what mattered to me last for most of the past year, hell, longer than that, since I’d been with Theo. That was over. I needed to put myself first a little more, because I was responsible for my own happiness. If I let myself be pushed around, that was exactly what was going to keep happening. I was finished with that.
That was a good start on a plan. I’d keep going with others, as I thought of them.
Somehow, I’d forgotten to put my watch back on, or lost it in last night’s struggle with Theo. Seventh, get a new watch, or ask Terian to bring me my old one, if Theo hadn’t stomped it into pieces of smooshed metal in his anger. I got up from the guest bed, dressed in last night’s clothes, and went looking for the nearest clock, which happened to be in the happily-unoccupied kitchen.
I made a small breakfast of cereal and yogurt, then headed upstairs. I knocked on Devlin’s door, and he answered, his sleepy golden eyes becoming shocked.
“Can I come in?” I asked. “I’m tired.”
“Sure,” Devlin said, tilting his head invitingly and offering me his hand. “Come in, Love.”
He led me back to bed, and soon had the length of his cool body pressed against mine. Per usual he was naked, and I knew he was wondering why I’d left my clothes on instead of shedding them when I’d gotten into bed with him. “Did you reconsider staying with Theo?” His voice was carefully void of emotion.
I debated what to say. I didn’t want Devlin to know what Theo had tried to do. He’d kill Theo for sure, and as much as that had seemed a wonderful idea last ni
ght, it wasn’t something I was comfortable doing in the light of day, now that I was safe. Theo was Elle’s father, and too important to Theoron now for protection. As much as I hate Theo, I can’t just...
Devlin lost his patience immediately. “Sarelle, what’s wrong? Answer me.”
“Theo and I are splitting up. He’s leaving me for Jenny.”
Devlin was silent, but I could feel the pleasure, the utter satisfaction, emanating from him like smoke. He caressed my shoulder, and then kissed it lightly with his soft cool lips. I’m sorry,” he said, leaning over and kissing my lips gently. “But I’m happy too, because now you are just mine, Love.”
Why does that seem so familiar? “Love”? Hmm...
“Will you stay here with me now?” he whispered gently. “Please
consider—”
“I’m not sure,” I said honestly, leaving my musing. “This changes everything, Dev. I need time.”
“Take your time,” Devlin replied quickly. “I’m just happy you are here with me.”
I knew he knew I didn’t have anywhere else to go, just as I did. But I appreciated him not saying it, anyway. Especially as the day progressed and things seemed to go from bad to worse.
T called about noon, as I was having lunch with Venus. “Mom,” he said without preamble, “I need to ask you to not come here for a while.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. T kept talking. “I don’t know what happened with Theo and you. He told Terian and me that you’d chosen Devlin over him, but both of us could see there was a lot more to it than that. Terian also told me to leave it alone, that it was between the two of you, and I’m taking his advice. But Theo is going to be staying here in the main house, like he has been these past two weeks, and he said he wants Jenny to stay with him. And the bottom line is that he’s my only partner left.”
Tempest of Vengeance Page 5
