I checked my watch. I have a half hour to kill. Too little time to sew, or do really anything. But I could peruse a little poetry. Devlin liked that I’d sometimes quote some to him. Maybe I could find something a little off the beaten path. I wasn’t naive enough to think I could find something he didn’t know, but maybe something he’d only read once or twice might be possible, especially if it had been written in the last thirty years or so.
I ducked into my “study” as Devlin called it. The purple guest room held some books of Danial’s that Theoron had been getting rid of, and books that Devlin had bought me to replace the ones I’d lost when my house burned. Devlin had even talked about knocking down the wall, to connect my sewing room and the study, until I’d told him I’d had enough excitement, at least until late spring.
I paged through one of my newer poetry collections. Here was one: Diane Wakoski, circa 1970. The poem’s title was “A Poet Recognizing the Echo of the Voice.” I read it for a few lines, then decided it wasn’t fitting. It didn’t seem to be about love. But I saw the third part, captioned “Beauty” and underneath, a quote by Yeats. I recognized it, as Dev had quoted it to me once, months ago, as he was watching me brush my long hair:
“—only God, my Dear, could love you for yourself alone, and not for your yellow hair.”
The poet, Wakoski, had seemed to address that poem in the third part of her poem:
“And if I cut off my long hair,
If I stopped speaking...
If I stopped crying...
And never let them see how accurate my pistol shooting is, who would I be?
We are all the textures we wear.
We frighten men with our steel,
We fascinate them with our silk
We seduce them with our cinnamon—”
Pies? I thought, then resumed reading.
“We rule them with our sensuous voices,
We confuse them with our submissions
Is there anywhere a man who will not punish us for our beauty?
He is the one we all search for,
He is the one we all anticipate.
Beauty looks for its match, confuses the issue with a mystery that does not exist.”
I felt with shock that this poem was fitting. Just not for Dev. As if by some design, my eyes fell on the poem below it, titled “When You are Old.”
“How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.”
Then I looked at my watch, and put the book aside. I had to hurry, or I was going to be late meeting Lash. And it was suddenly very important to me not to let him wait for me, as I had so often this week.
I made it to the kitchen at noon, to find Lash waiting for me anyway. He was dressed in his “good” black clothes, and I gave him an appreciative look.
“Are you ready, Sar?”
I nodded.
We went out and got into his truck, and he started the engine. “Where to?” he said, turning to me. “What do you feel like eating?”
“Take me to the restaurant that you took me to, back last spring. We’ll get some sushi, to celebrate the New Year.”
“You sure?” Lash hissed. “We may run into some of Theoron’s people there.” I knew what he was saying: that there was a remote possibility of seeing Theo there. And while he might be with Terian or T, he could also be there with Jenny.
“It doesn’t matter if he’s there. I’m with you, Lash.”
“Okay,” Lash said with a nod, and he drove us there in silence.
When we arrived, Lash and I got a table, and I excused myself to visit the ladies’ room.
“Order for me, please?” I said, as I got up. “I might be a minute or two.”
“Are you okay?” Lash said, giving me a sudden worried look. “We could go somewhere else if you want?”
“I’m fine. I want to take my hair down, and fix it a little. It might take a minute, or five.”
“Okay,” Lash said with a shrug. “I’ll be here.”
I returned to him ten minutes later. “Everything okay? Did you order?”
“I ordered for us. I also got you some wine. I thought you could use it.”
I knew he had just wanted some sake, but I didn’t say anything. Besides, I did want some wine.
“Your hair looks nice down,” Lash added quickly, giving me a smile.
“I’m glad you like it,” I said back, giving him a smile back.
We talked about Venus a little over lunch. I also brought up Serena’s infatuation for Nickand vice versathat was still going strong. Even after all this time, I hesitated to call it love, at least in front of Lash. I didn’t want him telling T, because I didn’t know if T loved her or not, and I knew he and Lash still sparred most every other day in the early mornings. “So you’ve noticed them?” I asked innocently.
Lash nodded.
“Do you know if he likes her the way she likes him?”
Lash shrugged. “Hard to say. Nick’s a good guy, but he knows how good-looking he is. He probably enjoys his time with Serena, but that’s as far as it goes, even with everything that she did for him. And I know from Titus she did a lot for him, Sar.”
I wondered what he meant by that, but let it slide. From Serena’s comment to me more than a month previous, Serena had done something for Nick after he’d gotten hurt—a.k.a. skinned—that had cost her the ability to change into a coyote. If her loss was what I imagined, I didn't want to hear Lash describe the process. “That’s sad,” I said, to close the subject. “She really likes him. I’d hoped they’d end up together.”
“She should tell him how she feels, if she loves him,” Lash said, his eyes meeting mine meaningfully. “He might be the last to know, if she hides it from him.”
Lash was reminding me, as he often did, that he wished I’d told him I loved him when I first felt it, and not waited months. “I’ll tell her that,” I assured amicably. “Maybe she will.”
We finished our meal, and Lash paid the bill. I could tell he was surprised that I didn’t offer to pay, but I didn’t make an explanation. He’d insist on paying no matter what. Lash might be my mate, but he was still a male chauvinist when it came to some things.
“Want to come for a quick walk with me?” I asked, as we neared his truck. “I still owe you one.”
“Sure,” Lash agreed. “Let me grab my extra gun from the truck first.”
Lash stashed it in his pocket, locked the truck, and we headed out, blinking hard in the bright sunlight. I reached out and took his hand, clasping it in mine, and he gave me a smile. We walked down the street, and over by the bridge near the creek the town was named for. I let go of Lash’s hand, and he slipped his arm around me instead, as we looked over the bridge edge, watching the water flowing under it fast. The creek was almost a river today, rushing from the heavy storms earlier in the week. A lot of the snow had melted in the rain, and there was sure to be flooding in the lower ground. But Hayden’s on high ground. We’ll be okay.
I took Lash’s hand, and led him down the pathway at the end of the bridge into the nearby park. There was an old teeter-totter near the entrance, and I walked over to it with him. “Sit down.”
He gave me a look that said no way.
“Sit down, if you know what’s good for you,” I said harshly. Lash gave me a funny look, but he sat down, straddling the seat. I sat down facing him. The metal seat was small, and there was just enough room to wedge my hips close to his.
“What are you doing—?” Lash started to ask, and then he stopped as he felt my hands reaching up under his vest and his shirt to run over his chest.
“What’s it feel like I’m doing?” I said, and kissed him hard, opening my mouth on his. Lash’s arms went around me in an instant, reaching under my buttocks to pull my body hard against his. I felt his penis against the front of my jeans, ha
rdening quickly as I kissed him. I reached down between us and cupped him with my hand through his pants, making him groan into my mouth.
“For me?” I said huskily.
He nodded, then kissed me again. I got up then, moving away from him and earning an incredulous look in the process. I reached into my pocket, and took out a key, showing it to him in explanation.
Lash’s eyes had been dark with lust before, but when he saw the key they turned black as pitch. “You weren’t at the bathroom.”
“No,” I purred, licking my lips suggestively. “I got us a room in the hotel down the street.”
“Why?” he managed, clearly stunned. “I don’t understand.”
“Come with me now, my Mate,” I said softly, reaching out my hand to him. “I have something to give you that’s long overdue.”
Lash froze, then quickly got up and took my hand without saying anything and followed after me out of the park and down the street to the hotel lobby in a kind of shock. I led him to the hotel room, and opened the door, locking it behind us. Then I turned to him. “Sit on the bed.”
Lash sat down on the edge. I took off our shoes, then faced him, and began to take off my clothes. Lash reached for me, but I pushed him back to the bed gently. “No. Stay there for now.”
That same surprise was in his eyes again, only stronger. “Why?”
“Shh,” I said, putting my finger to his lips. “Take off your weapons.”
He placed his weapons on the end table near the bed, and then was silent, watching me as I finished undressing. When I was naked before him, I pushed him back to the bed, laying my naked body on his clothed one. “You have made love to me many times in the past weeks, and before that, too. But I have never really made love to you. And I want to now, Lash. Just lie there for now, and let me touch you.”
Lash nodded, his breathing already fast and excited.
I kissed him tenderly, and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. I removed it, then did the same with his vest and turtleneck. When he was down to his T-shirt, I helped him take that off over his head. Straddling him, I ran my hands over his upper body, kissing him everywhere on his arms, his chest, and his neck as he groaned, and thrust up with his hips, grinding against me. I kissed him lower, and began to unbutton his jeans. I slid them off, with a little help from him, then his socks. Lastly, I slid off his underwear, and placed that in the pile with the rest of his clothes. I kissed his lower body, running my hands over his legs and thighs.
Lash was impatient now, wouldn’t lie still for me. I turned my attention to his engorged member, and took him in my hands. He gasped, and went still.
“That’s better,” I murmured, then gently licked him, and bit him softly. His hands reached down to caress my face as he jerked beneath my administrations. I slid my mouth over him, sucking him, enticing a sharp cry of arousal from his parted lips. I cupped his testicles in my hand, gently rubbing them.
Lash was moving all over now, surreptitiously trying to get into a position to enter me. I obliged him, taking him into my throat, and stroking him. Lash began panting, and jerking slightly, even as he tried to hold still for me. He’s close to orgasm.
When he tried to pull me up to straddle him, I pushed him back, taking my mouth off him. “Come for me,” I commanded in a sultry voice, my green eyes dark as a forest at midnight.
“No, Sar, I can’t do that to you.”
I’d expected this. Lash had refused to do this that day in the Everglades, too, his excuse that he didn’t want me to have that memory of him. I wasn’t sure if it was because of something someone had said to him before in his long life, or just that he personally thought it was too disrespectful to do with me for some reason. I’d relented that day. Today, I was not relenting. “Yes,” I said firmly. “I want you to, Lash. It’s okay.”
“No,” he said, trying to draw himself out of my grasp. “I’m not going to use you like that.”
“I want to do this for you,” I said forcefully. “It’s my choice, to do this with you. You are not using me. Now relax, and let me love you.”
“You’re sure?” Lash said, uneasy. “I don’t want you to be hurt by me, or feel like—”
“I know you would never hurt me,” I said, and then I swallowed him again, and began to stroke him.
“Ah, Ah!” Lash cried, thrusting and shaking as I moved on him. I could feel how close he was, from what I’d done to him with my hands and kisses. I squeezed his balls in my hand gently, and sucked him harder, tightening my lips around him.
“Ah! Ah, God!” Lash cried as he thrust up into me, almost choking me as he spasmed inside me. I swallowed him down, still moving on him as his body gave up his seed, his muscles contracting and releasing again and again. He collapsed back on the bed with a final groan, panting hard. I slid his still erect penis out of me with a last kiss, and then I began to kiss my way up his body again.
“Fuck me, that was wonderful,” Lash moaned. “You felt so warm and wet.”
“I wanted you to feel me around you, caressing you,” I whispered. “I want you to know you are loved, that you aren’t alone anymore.”
“Sar,” he hissed softly, his dark eyes full of emotion, “I never doubt it, when I’m with you. I feel your love for me, how strong it is. It warms me more than the sun ever could.”
I hugged him, and he rolled over on me, sliding himself into me with a grunt of passion. “I love to feel you beneath me, my Mate,” he hissed softly, as he moved on me, kissing down my neck. “To feel us joined together.”
“We are joined, body and soul,” I pledged lovingly, arching my back to push my body closer to his. “I’m yours.”
“As I’m yours,” Lash hissed tenderly. “Now hush, and let me love you. It’s your turn to cry out for me.”
“Drink from me, like you did before,” I said quickly.
Lash stopped completely, in shock. He looked down at me for a long moment before speaking, his expression serious. “It might hurt, if I do. You’ve got to have bad memories of the pain you felt when you saved me, Sar. I’ve hurt you enough, in the time you’ve known me. I never want to hurt you again.”
“You never took very much. Take it, as you love me. Just a little. I want you to.”
Lash kissed me, and then his serious expression evaporated, becoming a huge grin of mirth he couldn’t contain. “You’re so twisted!” he chuckled, his dark eyes shining. “I love it, that you think the way you do.”
“No one has ever gotten me the way you have,” I said, smiling up at him happily. “I think I care about you most of all for that, that you understand who I am, and like it, and don’t think I’m strange, for the way I think and the things I say.”
“Oh, I think you’re strange,” Lash hissed, as he began to move on me. “But it’s a good strange, like me. We’re the same, Sar. We care about the same things, like the same things. And I like the things you say. I like that you’re like me, that you say things out of the blue, and sometimes they are so funny I can’t stop laughing. No woman’s ever made me laugh before, not like you do.”
Lash kissed down my neck, and with gentle pressure, he slid his hooked fangs into me. They were so small they didn’t hurt much, and he was very careful, as he always had been before, not to tear my skin. He gently drank from me as he loved me, and I caressed him, loving the feel of him inside me completely.
A minute later, Lash gently withdrew his fangs, pausing his lovemaking. “I love the taste of you, the smell of you, the feel of your body,” he hissed, kissing my face, my neck, and my lips in tandem. “I love your strength, and your softness, your passion and your tenderness. I love everything about you, Sarelle McGarran.”
Lash paused in speaking, then continued. “I love that you said ‘yes,’ that you wanted to be my mate, that you saw the man inside me, that you loved me even when everyone told you there was nothing good in me,” he hissed, his voice choked with emotion. “I love that you believed in me, Sar. No other woman ever has. You believed in me
enough to risk your life for me. I care about you most for that, for believing I could be more than everyone thought I was, including me.”
I kissed him deeply in reply and he stroked me gently with his tongue. Lash pulled back, and looked down at me, as he began moving his body rhythmically on mine once more. “Cry out for me, my Mate,” he hissed affectionately. “Tell me you love me.”
I crested the wave, and Lash felt me begin to come. He thrust into me hard and deliberately, turning my soft moans into loud screams as he deepened my orgasm. And this time, I said to him what I knew he most wanted to hear, what he’d been hoping to hear from a woman for years. “Oh, Tristan!” I screeched in pleasure. “I love you, Tristan! Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Lash faltered when he heard me call him by his real name, and then he was shaking over me as he thrust rapidly into me, sucking my neck gently as he began to jerk, climaxing in my arms. He shouted my name as he came, clutching my body to his so hard he bruised my skin. As our orgasm ebbed, he sank down on me, breathing hard, our skin covered with beads of sweat.
Lash was trembling in my arms. I held him close, stroking his hair, feeling his fangs brushing my neck. What I’d said to him moved him so much he partly changed to snake. “Shh, it’s okay.”
“I...I love you, Sar,” he hissed softly, his face buried in my neck, still timorous. “I feel what you feel, all of it. God help me, I love you so much I’m drowning in it. And if I was dying, I’d want to die just like this, here with you.”
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