by Lydia Rose
Sam wondered how friendly. She’s not your girlfriend, she’s your friend. “That’s nice that you’ve made friends.”
The waitress brought out their appetizers. The two dishes were placed in the center and they each shared the portions.
“That was very good,” Catherine said. “So how is your work going?”
“We’ve been busy so that’s good.” Sam couldn’t get over how hard this was for both of them. They used to be able to talk easily and about everything and now their conversation seemed forced.
Again the quiet took over the table and Sam watched as Catherine fidgeted in her chair.
“I feel like we’re an old married couple who have nothing to say to one another,” Catherine said almost whispering.
“I was thinking the same thing. We used to have so much to talk about. Why is it so hard now?” Sam asked.
“Maybe we can’t go back to being friends,” Catherine said seeing Sam’s eyes flinch.
“It’s hard to go backwards when we were doing so well moving forward,” Sam admitted.
Their main course was delivered to the table. Sam offered Catherine a piece of her veal and Catherine shared a meatball. When the waitress asked if they wanted dessert, they both declined. It was no sense prolonging the uncomfortable feeling they both were having. They split the bill like friends would and went back to the truck.
Sam pulled into her driveway and Catherine didn’t make a move to get out. Sam sat patiently waiting to hear what Catherine was about to say.
“Thank you for taking me to dinner. I’m sorry I wasn’t better company.”
“It wasn’t only your fault, Cate. Have a good week,” Sam said as Catherine opened the truck door.
“You enjoy the week too, Sam.”
Sam barely waited for Catherine to open her house door before she pulled out of the driveway. Well, that didn’t go well, she said, wondering how they could possibly salvage their friendship.
Catherine walked into the house and realized she had left her sweater in Sam’s truck. Sam had pulled out of the driveway so fast, she never had a chance to catch her. The night had turned out to be a complete disappointment. It was so hard to forget that only a week ago they were lovers and now trying to be just friends.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Catherine came back to her office at three o’clock. Hailey’s office door was open as she passed. “Hi, Hailey. How are you?” Catherine asked from the doorway.
“Good, Cate. Come on in,” Hailey said taking the books off a chair so Catherine could sit down.
Catherine took her seat and looked around the office. Hailey had at least a half a dozen pictures on the various bookshelves. There was one of Hailey and another woman standing next to each other in ski clothes. “I see you like to ski,” Catherine said.
“Sandy and I try to go on a ski trip during our winter break.”
Catherine raised her eyebrows. “Sandy?”
“My wife,” Hailey said casually and watched as shock showed on Catherine’s face. “Is my being gay a problem for you?”
“Not at all.”
“Because I have to tell you that my gaydar pinged off you the first time I met you.”
Catherine’s eyes opened wide. “You thought I was gay when we met?”
“I’m sorry if I insulted you,” Hailey said.
“What if I told you I had been married?”
Hailey grinned. “I know plenty of lesbians who have been married at one time. For whatever reason they had to come to terms with who they are.”
Catherine wasn’t ready to admit too much information so she continued to question Hailey. “What about their family’s acceptance?”
“That’s one of the reasons that they may have gotten married in the first place. My wife Sandy has been estranged from her family since she told them she was in love with me.”
Again Catherine’s eyes opened wide. “That must be hard on her.”
“I can’t speak for Sandy, but she told me at the time that she was not going to give up her happiness to live the life her parents wanted her live.” Hailey looked over the top of her reading glasses. “You can talk freely, Cate.”
Catherine looked at Hailey as her shoulders sagged. “When I moved back to New Jersey,” she paused, waiting for the courage, “I fell in love with a woman. I was so happy until my parents found out.” The tears stung her eyes. “My mother flew up from Florida and laced into me. She told me not to contact her until I came to my senses.”
“So you broke up with this woman?” Hailey asked, but it was more of a statement.
Catherine nodded and whispered, “How did you know?”
“The first time I met you, you looked sad. You were smiling, but your eyes couldn’t hide the pain you were carrying.” Hailey reached across the desk and took Catherine’s hand. “You should talk to Sandy. She can tell you why she made the decision she did and how she has lived with that decision.”
Catherine looked up hopefully. “Really?”
“Let me speak with Sandy tonight. We can have dinner together one night.”
Catherine stood up. “Thank you, Hailey. I’d really like that.”
“I’ll see you later. I’ve got a class to get to.”
Catherine unlocked her office door. “Thanks again.”
Hailey waved as she went down the hallway.
Catherine sat in her chair and thought, ‘She thought I was gay when she met me. I’ve been gay all my life and didn’t even know it.’ Catherine chuckled to the empty room.
****
Hailey and Catherine had made arrangements to have dinner Friday evening with Sandy after the last class.
Catherine followed Hailey to her house. In her car she had a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers. A few minutes later they pulled up to her house.
Hailey waited for Catherine to collect her things and they walked to the front door.
Sandy opened the front door. “Cate, come in please.” Sandy took Hailey’s arm and kissed her gently.
“Thank you, Sandy.” Catherine handed the wine and flowers to Sandy.
“Oh, how nice. Thank you,” Sandy said.
“Honey, this is Catherine Parker. Cate, this is Sandy Parson.”
“I’m so happy to meet you, Sandy. Hailey has spoken very highly of you.”
“She’d better,” Sandy teased. “Please have a seat and I’ll go put these flowers into a vase.”
“Sandy is even more beautiful in person,” Catherine offered.
“It’s her personality that does that. Sandy can make even the Pope happy in our house,” Hailey said with a chuckle.
Sandy came out of the kitchen carrying a plate of appetizers and set it down on the coffee table. “How has your commute been? Hailey tells me you live in Lavallette.”
“It hasn’t been bad. I leave early and when I have a late class, I’ll work in my office until the traffic dies down. The more I do here, the less I have to do once I get home.” Catherine shrugged. “So it’s worked out fine.” Catherine swallowed before she asked, “Hailey tells me you’re estranged from your family?”
“Just my parents. I...” Sandy looked at Hailey and took her hand, “we get along fine with my sister and brother.”
“Hasn’t it been hard not speaking with your parents?”
“It has, but I can’t see my life without Hailey.”
“So when you came out to your parents, you never thought of breaking up with Hailey?”
Sandy smiled. “I spent my life prior to Hailey knowing I was gay. I had no intention of trying to live a lie.”
Catherine lowered her head. “I’m a terrible person. I stopped seeing Sam immediately.”
Hailey and Sandy chuckled. “No you’re not. From what Hailey tells me, this is all new to you.”
Catherine nodded.
“Have you tried talking to Sam about this?” Hailey asked.
Catherine’s head shook from side to side. “No. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be
able to think straight if I was too near her,” Catherine grinned. “No pun intended.”
The three women laughed.
“We went to dinner last Saturday to see if we could salvage our friendship.” Catherine lowered her head. “It was awful. We sat there quietly most of the time. It was as if we had nothing to say to each other.”
“That’s because you were avoiding what you really needed to talk about,” Sandy said immediately.
“That and Sam was so distant,” Catherine admitted.
“I can understand that. Sam’s trying to protect her heart,” Hailey offered. “Sam thinks this is all her fault. If you two had remained friends, she never would have put you in this position.” Hailey looked at Sandy. “I carried that same guilt when Sandy’s parents disowned her.”
“I still can’t believe my mother did that to me,” Catherine whispered.
“Is your family very religious?” Sandy asked.
“Not at all,” Catherine said quickly.
“Then her problem is probably what people will think when they find out she has a gay daughter,” Sandy explained.
“They live in Florida. We rarely saw each other before this happened.”
Sandy and Hailey held hands. “You’re still working through calling yourself a lesbian. If you can’t be proud of who you are, no one else will.” Sandy got up. “Come on, we’ll have a nice dinner.”
“You two should come to the beach tomorrow. The weather is still beautiful.”
Hailey and Sandy looked at each other. “We’d like that. Will you invite Sam? We’d like to meet her.”
“I’m not sure she’ll agree after our disastrous dinner,” Catherine chuckled.
“It’s up to you,” Hailey said.
“I’ll call her and ask,” Catherine said grinning.
As Catherine got ready to leave, she hugged the women. “Thank you both for dinner and allowing me to bend your ears with my problem.”
Sandy put her arm around Hailey. “It was our pleasure. Whatever you decide, we will be here for you.”
Catherine hugged the women again. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
Catherine looked at the clock when she finally got home and wondered if it was too late to call Sam. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her phone.
“Hello,” Sam said picking up on the first ring.
“Hi,” Catherine said softly and nervously asked. “I invited two friends of mine to come to the beach tomorrow,” she paused. “Would you like to join us on the beach?”
Sam didn’t respond immediately. She hadn’t said anything since she picked up the phone besides hello.
“I understand, Sam. I just thought I would ask.” Catherine was about to disconnect the call.
“What time?” Sam finally spoke.
“I’ll call you when they get here in the morning.” Catherine now wore a smile.
“Okay. I’ll take care of lunch,” Sam said and disconnected the call.
That went well, Catherine said to the empty room.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
As Sam dressed, she still didn’t know why she agreed to meet Catherine up at the beach. Her two friends were probably a couple of straight girls who had become her friends. Worse yet, they could be men. Sam put on a pair of shorts and a tight tank top. Over that she wore a button down shirt that she left open.
Catherine didn’t think she’d be going in the water today so she wore a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt. She heard the car pull up and went to the door. “Good morning you two,” she said with a quick hug. “Come on inside.”
“Hey, Cate,” they both said and followed.
“Do you want something to eat before we go to the beach?”
“No thanks,” Sandy said. “We had breakfast before we left the house.”
“Okay, let me call Sam and tell her we’re headed up to the beach.” Catherine reached for her phone and pushed the button. “Hi, Sam. We’re leaving for the beach now.”
“Okay, I’ll see you there in a bit,” Sam answered before disconnecting.
“Did Sam object to going to the beach this morning?” Sandy asked.
“She never said no, but I could tell she was thinking it over very carefully before she agreed to come,” Catherine said carefully. “Now we’ll really see if she shows up.” Catherine tried to laugh, but her heart just wasn’t in it.
“Well, let’s go find out,” Sandy said reaching for Hailey’s arm.
They settled on the beach and continued their conversation.
“I never asked if you had any sisters or brothers,” Hailey questioned.
“I have one sister who lives in North Jersey.”
“How did she take the news?” Sandy asked.
“Very well. She already thought I had a lesbian relationship with someone I went to high school with. Actually, there were two women she thought...” Catherine chuckled. “I knew the one girl was gay, but we were just friends. The other girl has been my best friend for thirty years and I had no idea she had a crush on me when we were young.”
“Obviously, both women saw something that you didn’t see in yourself at the time,” Sandy explained.
“I guess you’re right,” Catherine said and felt Sam’s presence. She turned in her chair. “Hi, Sam. I’m glad you could make it.”
Sam opened her chair.
“I want you to meet two friends of mine,” Catherine said. “Sam, this is Hailey and Sandy.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Sam said holding out her hand.
“We’re happy to meet you too,” Sandy said smiling.
Sam knew immediately they were gay and a couple.
“Sit down, Sam,” Hailey said with a wave of her hand near her.
Sam flipped her hat from wearing it backwards to having the brim shade her face. “So where did you two meet Cate?” Sam asked with a glance in Catherine’s direction.
“I work with Cate,” Hailey offered. “Sandy is my wife.”
Sam grinned knowing her instincts had been correct. “It’s wonderful that you two could take advantage of the new law in New Jersey.”
“As soon as DOMA fell, we applied for a marriage license.” Sandy smiled. “Neither one of us ever thought we’d see this in our lifetime.”
“How many years are you two together?” Sam asked.
“We’ve been together for fifteen years,” Hailey said. “Fifteen wonderful years,” she said with a smile in her lover’s direction.
“My partner passed away before the law changed, but we were domestic partners. We were happy to have any rights at the time,” Sam said with a chuckle.
Catherine sat there quietly listening to the three women share stories.
“So what do you do?” Hailey asked Sam.
Sam explained her business and watched Sandy’s eyes light up.
Hailey looked at Sandy and giggled. “I think my wife just fell in love with you. She loves vintage cars.”
“If you two would like to visit my place, just let me know. I’ll try to have some good vehicles on hand when you do.”
“I’d love that,” Sandy said as her smile grew wide.
“So, Cate, are you a fan of vintage cars?” Hailey asked.
“I like cars, but I’ve never had the desire to own an old car.”
“They’re not old,” Sandy said. “They’re vintage.”
The four women laughed before Sam said, “Another reason for Cate not to be with me.”
Catherine glared at Sam, but didn’t comment.
Sandy looked at Hailey, “Take a walk with me.”
Hailey stood knowing she wanted to give Sam and Catherine some time alone.
Sam flicked her chin at them as they walked away. “They both seem very nice.”
“I haven’t known them for too long but yes, they are very nice.” Catherine kept her eyes on the water as she spoke with Sam. “Sandy is estranged from her parents too,” Catherine said softly. “Sandy said she couldn’t give up Hailey to please her pa
rents.”
Sam finally commented, “It seems to have worked out for them.”
“Apparently.” Catherine faced Sam. “I’m trying Sam. I really am.”
Sam nodded in acknowledgement.
Hailey and Sandy came back to the blanket and noticed the other two women were sitting quietly. “You have a nice beach here, you two,” Hailey said breaking the quiet.
“We like it,” Catherine said before Sam did.
“I’m going to grill chicken chorizo melts. Is that okay with everyone? If not, I can make something else,” Sam smiled.
“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” Sandy said licking her lips.
Sam stood up. “I’ll go back and get started. You can come whenever you want.”
“It’s starting to get a little cool out, why don’t we come with you and help make lunch?” Hailey asked.
“Sure.”
Everyone picked up their chairs and followed Sam back to the house. The four women walked into the backyard and Sam motioned them over to the patio. “Can I get anyone something to drink? I’ve got beer, wine, iced tea, soda...” Sam asked as she turned on the grill to heat up.
“A glass of iced tea would be great,” Hailey said.
“Me too,” Sandy added.
“I’ll help you,” Catherine said following Sam into the house. “Thank you for being so nice to my friends.”
“I told you I like them. It’s no trouble.” Sam opened the refrigerator and took out the pitcher of iced tea. “Would you get the glasses Cate, and fill them with ice?”
Cate went to the cabinet and took four glasses out and carried them outside while Sam carried the iced tea. Then Sam went back into the house to get the chicken patties. Sam put them on the grill and went back into the house. She got the flat bread and added the cheese. Sam left them in the kitchen while she went back outside.
“Those smell wonderful already, Sam,” Sandy commented, taking a breath.
“I hope you like them.” Sam looked at the women. “Do you want to eat outside or go into the house?”
“I think out here is just fine,” Sandy said looking at the other two women who nodded in agreement.
Sam flipped the patties and went back into the house. Catherine followed her.
