by Lois Richer
That’s what he wanted for Shay now—to let go of the fear that shadowed those gorgeous eyes and let joy fill her completely. He wanted to see her free and fully participating in life. That’s why he’d keep making these trips at night, to make sure his friend was all right.
But friendship was Nick’s only motive. It had to be, because he was Cal Green’s son. Nick figured the two relationships he’d botched proved he’d inherited his dad’s legacy of failure when it came to personal relations. No matter what he might or might not be feeling for Shay these days, he wouldn’t risk repeating that lesson with her. Better to concentrate on loving his family to the best of his ability, and being Shay’s best friend.
That would have to be enough.
Chapter Six
“That’s fantastic, Ted.” Shay beamed as the little boy showed off his newly learned skills, thanks to Nick’s roly-poly. “My goodness, it seems like you’ve been working with that thing for a lot more than just a week.”
“That’s ’cause Uncle Nick’s been helping him,” Maggie chirped from the sidelines of the therapy room. “I helped, too, by cheering for him.”
“Good for you, Maggie.” Shay studied Nick with a smile. Despite his family obligations, and his initial refusal to take on the work, Nick still couldn’t bypass an opportunity to help others when needed. She wasn’t surprised. He’d always been that way.
Courtesy of a little bird named Maggie, Shay now knew that Nick had volunteered to help restore the seniors’ center. He also chauffeured his mom on errands, took care of Maggie’s therapy and clearly spent hours thinking of ways to help speed his niece’s recovery. Yet he’d still made it a point to refine the roly-poly and help a little boy learn how to use it.
Shay’s brain hummed with possibilities as she watched Nick and Ted interact. Maybe, if she went about it the right way, she could show Nick the importance of his contribution. There were so many other kids who needed someone like him to help them.
“Ta-da!” Ted completed his last feat, spread his arms wide and bowed.
“Amazing job, buddy.” She wrapped Ted in a fierce hug, knowing how hard he’d struggled. “You keep working like that and soon you won’t need the roly-poly.”
“You mean you think he’s going to walk before me?” demanded Maggie.
If Nick meant that strangled cough as cover for his laughter, it didn’t work. Shay shot him a silencing look before she turned to comfort Maggie.
“It’s not a contest, sweetheart,” she said gently. “The goal is for both of you to walk.”
“But it’s my roly-poly! I don’t want him to beat me!” Maggie glared at Ted as if he’d done something wrong.
Shay glanced at Nick, and she knew that making Maggie understand was up to her. So she tried reason. She tried calming words. She tried everything, but to no avail. Maggie’s sour look telegraphed her irritation. Exasperated, Shay turned her glare on an amused Nick and refused to be charmed by his smile. Which, some part of her brain acknowledged, was devastating.
Funny she’d never noticed that before. Even funnier that she was noticing now, when she should be concentrating on her clients and not her client’s hunky uncle.
“Do something,” she growled sotto voce.
“You know, Shay, it’s refreshing to know that you don’t excel at absolutely everything.” With a grin that took the sting out of his words, Nick knelt in front of his niece. “Listen, Mags,” he began. “You offered the roly-poly to Ted. You can’t take it back. That would be mean.”
“But—”
“Hear me out. The important thing is that both you and Ted walk again.” He pushed the brown bangs off her forehead. “When you walk doesn’t matter. It’s like Shay said—all any of us care about is that you do walk again, on your own, both of you.”
“But Uncle Nick,” Maggie sputtered, her indignation obvious. “I started before Ted so I should walk first!”
“Sorry. That isn’t how it works, kiddo.” He shrugged at her mutinous look. “Be as mad as you want. All I can say is if it matters so much, then it’s up to you to do something about it.”
“How?” Maggie perked up, suddenly all ears.
When Nick winked at Shay she had to suppress her smile, remembering when Nick used a million coercion tactics to get his younger sisters to do something they didn’t want to.
“Let’s see.” He pretended to think about it. “I know. Maybe you’d walk first if you worked at your exercises harder. Harder than you did this morning,” he hinted, though he kept his expression neutral.
Shay watched Maggie’s face color and realized that the stiffness she noticed in Maggie this past week was because Maggie had apparently sloughed off on her workouts. Shay had mistakenly attributed the slowing progress to Nick, assuming he’d become tired of pushing his niece. She’d misjudged him.
Maggie’s bottom lip thrust out under her uncle’s steady regard. She huffed her indignation before she turned to join Ted on a pile of exercise mats at the far corner of the room. Shay took advantage of the privacy.
“I owe you an apology,” she admitted.
“Me?” Nick blinked his surprise, his bittersweet-chocolate eyes widening. “Why?”
“I assumed Maggie’s lack of progress today meant you’d been slacking off. Now I realize it’s Maggie who isn’t putting in the effort.” Shay stared straight at him. “I apologize, Nick.”
For a moment his lips pinched tightly together and his brows lowered, shielding his gaze from her. Then his frustration released in one irritated sigh.
“I am not my father,” he said, enunciating in a clear, harsh tone.
Stunned by the bitterness underlying each word, Shay blustered, “I never said—”
“When I say I’ll do something, I do it. You should know that about me by now, Shay.”
“I do know that,” she assured him, rushing to make amends. “I’ve always known that about you. It’s not that I doubted your commitment. Not exactly.” She motioned for him to sit on the nearby chair. “I guess I jumped to conclusions.”
“Why? What have I done that would make you think I’d stop before Maggie has recovered her mobility?” Nick folded his long body into the chair.
“Actually, nothing,” she admitted. “You’ve done better than I ever hoped for.”
“Then why assume I’d slack off now?” The rigidity did not leave his face.
“It’s not just you. Trusting isn’t my strong point,” she admitted. “But the way you responded when I first laid everything out, you sounded as if you could hardly wait to get away from Hope. Well, you did,” she said more forcefully when he raised one imperious eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe,” Nick conceded. “But now your doubts about me are settled, right? You know I’m here for the duration, so you can relax.”
“I do?”
“You have to know I’m not going anywhere for the next couple of weeks, for sure.”
“How would I know that?” She waited for an explanation, but all she got was a cute smile that bloomed across his sun-tanned face. She ignored the giddyup of her pulse. “Tell me what’s going on, Nick,” she demanded.
“You know, you haven’t changed all that much since we were in high school. You still can’t stand it if there’s something happening that you don’t know about.” Laughter burst from him in a great roar of amusement when she made a face.
“So what is ‘happening,’ as you so succinctly put it?” She wished she didn’t sound so eager.
“I’m surprised somebody in town hasn’t already told you, even though it’s supposed to be a secret.”
“I’ve been a little busy with work.” She inclined her head. “So?”
“So I’m planning a surprise sixtieth birthday party for Mom two weeks from Saturday. The girls and their families are coming Friday evening. Saturday we’ll all have breakfast together, and then in the afternoon I intend to invite the town to come help us celebrate. I’m not sure about the evening yet. Maybe we’ll have a family
dinner.”
“It sounds fun.” It had been a very long time since Shay had been part of a family event, and she felt just the tiniest bit envious. “Can I help?”
Nick slowly nodded. “Actually you can.”
“Great. How?”
“I don’t know if I should ask this or not.” Nick’s smooth forehead pleated in a frown.
“You can always ask. If I don’t want to do it, I’ll say no,” Shay promised. “But remember, I was a kid when we moved here, and your mother became like my own. I love that woman dearly. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for her.”
“Good to know.” His eyes narrowed. “Because there’s a glitch in my plans and I need some advice. I’m afraid Mom will feel like she has to be the hostess if I ask people to come to the house. I want her to be the guest of honor, to enjoy her day, not spend it waiting on other people.”
Nick gazed at her intensely, and Shay started to feel strange, as if he was somehow intruding into her personal space. “Of course you do,” she said, breaking eye contact with him. “Knowing your mom, you are right to be worried. She’d be rushing around, seeing to her guests, trying to make everyone comfortable.”
An idea flashed in Shay’s brain but she was still feeling flustered by the way Nick had been looking at her, and she couldn’t seem to get her thoughts together.
“I thought maybe a reception in one of the halls in town would work, but they’re already booked.” Nick shook his head in frustration, but his eyes held hers, narrowed even, holding hers so that she couldn’t look away. “I should have started planning earlier.”
“Uh-huh.” Shay found it hard to breathe under that intensity, let alone say anything halfway intelligent.
The slap of a workout mat hitting the floor startled them both. Shay and Nick blinked at each other then hurried to ensure both Maggie and Ted were all right. The kids rolled on the floor, howling with laughter, best friends once more.
Once again Nick’s eyes met hers. Thankfully he spoke first, giving Shay a moment to regroup.
“Maybe I can hire some of the high school girls to act as servers or something,” Nick said as he lifted Maggie. “Don’t worry about it, Shay. You’ve got enough to do.”
“Oh, I am going to help.” Shay eased Ted onto the parallel bars. “But right now I’ve got to finish Ted’s therapy. Can you come over to my place tonight?”
“Yeah. Sure. Okay.” Nick smiled at her, which made her stomach do a funny little backflip. “I’ll be there after dinner. Mom’s serving asparagus, so I might even be early.”
She laughed at the face he and Maggie made before they turned to leave.
Shay put Ted through his paces. He pushed himself so hard she had to remind him that he couldn’t do everything at once, even with the roly-poly.
“The secret is to work hard, but not too hard,” she said as his mother rushed in looking harried.
“I’m so sorry I’m late. I agreed to decorate a cake for a friend and I had to pick up some supplies. There was a long line at the grocery store.”
“No problem.” After updating Susan Swan on her son’s progress, Shay ruffled Ted’s hair.
“No overdoing it now, Ted,” she warned.
“But I want to beat Maggie.” His big eyes blinked at her from his too-thin face.
“This isn’t a race. Be patient. Do everything I showed you, slowly, carefully. Okay?”
His face demonstrating his frustration, Ted finally nodded. Then he and his mother left.
Since Ted was Shay’s last appointment of the day, she hurried to reorganize her workout room before returning to her office. Once seated behind her desk, she let her imagination run free as she sketched out rough ideas for Nick’s mom’s party. By the time she leaned back in her chair to ease the crook in her neck, she was certain her plan would work. And it would be a huge surprise to the woman who always labored so hard giving to others, the woman who’d become like a mother to her.
Suddenly the ticking clock seemed overly loud in the office. Shay’s nerves stretched taut as she realized she was alone. She checked her watch—almost six-thirty. Everyone had left. The eerie silence sent fear skating over her shaky nerves. Uneasiness mushroomed into anxiety.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said out loud. “There’s no one here.”
Though psychologically Shay knew the only danger was in her head, the rattle of a window pane against the desert wind tightened an invisible band around her dry throat and made her so skittish that all she could think was, Get out of here!
She grabbed her keys and her bag and hurried to the front door, only then realizing how dim the office was. One meager nightlight glowed in a losing battle to fight back the shadows of the room. She flicked on a desk lamp and immediately felt better as illumination chased away the worst of the darkness.
“Bogeymen? You’re being silly,” she told herself. “Go home.”
Shay stepped outside and locked the door. Then she racewalked to her car. She flicked her key fob, scanned the backseat, got inside and snapped the door locks.
“Stupid habit, Shay,” she mocked as she did up her seat belt. “If the guy’s going to come after you again, he’s certainly not going to sit in your backseat and wait for you.”
She drew deep, calming breaths when the car wouldn’t start. Stupid thing—she’d taken it to the garage twice this week and no one could find what was wrong yet the car still didn’t start properly.
She decided to try once more before calling a tow truck. The engine finally caught. Heaving a sigh of relief, she negotiated her way through town. After a few minutes she put the top down, remembering the verses Jaclyn had given her.
God has not given us a spirit of fear.
Meaning, God wanted her to get on with her life. He certainly didn’t want her skulking around, afraid of her own shadow. Afraid to be alone in the office. Afraid to trust…Nick.
Shay shoved a praise CD into the player and, once she was out of town, sang along loudly as she drove toward home. But no matter how hard she sang, she couldn’t dislodge the questions that lay at the back of her mind.
A spirit of fear—about Nick? Why would she fear him? Because she’d begun to feel something for him? Because she was afraid of those feelings? Because when he came over to her house tonight he might figure out that he was becoming more than a friend to her?
Shay had found no answer to those and other questions by the time she pulled into the garage. She only knew that the fear was there. Like a cactus thorn, it had dug in deep. It would take a lot of verses to excise.
“Please help me learn to trust again,” she whispered before she climbed out of the car.
*
Nick drove to Shay’s to discuss his mom’s birthday a little faster than usual, eager to talk to her. But he did savor the scenic evening drive while he wondered what brilliant idea Shay had come up with. He loved his family but was more comfortable doing the mundane stuff that needed doing. Shay was the party girl. She’d know the best way to make his mom’s day special. He’d do anything to make his mom happy. No way did he want her remembering that his deadbeat dad had chosen to walk out on them on her special day. Why hadn’t God given him any ideas for his mom’s party?
Or any solid assurance that the job in Seattle was where he ought to be. Though it was supposed to be a sealed deal, his concern about being so far from Hope and his family gnawed at him more with every day that passed. Especially now that he realized how much his mom had come to depend on him.
That wasn’t the only issue though. Nick had also begun to appreciate his time in Hope. Helping the seniors renovate the building where they’d built lifelong relationships made him covet the same sense of connection with his surroundings. And Maggie and Ted’s bragging about the machines he’d made for them had brought calls from several parents who wanted him to build stuff to help their kids. Though Nick grumbled about more work, he’d appreciated Shay’s efforts to scrounge old rehabilitation equipment for him to use. The sati
sfaction of watching each child experiment with his unique invention surprised Nick. He loved being involved and had agreed, despite his misgivings, to let a couple of the kids’ fathers help him work on the machines.
But the best part of working on those machines was the time he spent with Shay.
She made everything fun. Because of her Nick had a new appreciation for his hometown and all it offered. He hadn’t really been surprised by Shay’s remark that she’d love to raise her own family here. She was so caring and generous—she’d make a great mom.
And working with Shay and her kids had shown Nick fathers who gladly got involved in their kids’ lives, men totally unlike his dad. These guys were wholly vested in seeing their kids thrive and offered to help on their weekends off or until late at night if Nick needed them. When it came to their kids, these dads were totally unselfish.
Was that what had sparked his own desire to know what being a father would be like? Would he be a better dad than his own had been to him? Could he love and guide his own son or daughter better than his father had?
Yet each time Nick dared dream that, the vision was snuffed out by bitter memories of his last meeting with his father. He’d thought a reunion might work but his father’s rejection of him, his sisters and his mom showed Nick how silly it was to imagine he, the son of a man so uncaring, would be any different. Hadn’t he already messed up twice? What had changed?
Nothing. Nick wouldn’t risk another relationship. He certainly wouldn’t involve a child in his failures. That’s why his own dreams had to be suppressed to allow him to fulfill his primary duty—to care for his family.
As if to emphasize that, his cell phone rang. It was his sister Cara.
“I’m so sorry the twins aren’t feeling well, sis,” Nick said after she’d revealed her doubts about making the drive for the party. “But they’ll be over this bug soon, won’t they? You guys can’t miss out on Mom’s special day.”
“I don’t want to miss it, Nick, but driving four hundred miles with the twins is going to tax all of us.” He heard the hesitation before she said, “Besides, I’m not so sure bringing my kids would be good for Mom. She’ll already be ramped up. The twins don’t sleep through the night yet and the noise they make will prevent Mom from getting the rest she needs. Maybe we should come later, when the fuss has died down.”
