by Jenny Kane
‘Too old for gardening? You’re kidding. Gardeners always seem to be elderly.’
‘Not these days – and not professional gardeners. There’s a big difference between those who do it for a living and those who potter around in their own back gardens.’
‘I guess so ... but cooking? I know you were always a good cook, even when we were students, but I never had you down as a Jamie Oliver type.’
‘I’d rather be Paul Hollywood.’
‘I’m sure you would, but this is real life!’ She stuck her tongue out at him.
‘Pregnancy has made you feisty, Mrs Donahue.’ Jack stretched his legs out beneath the table, ‘What is it about Paul Hollywood that everyone finds so sexy anyway?’
Amy had to resist the urge to rush around and take Jack’s temperature. ‘Excuse me? He is good-looking, capable, unflappable, and he can cook. What a silly question.’
‘I can cook.’
‘I have no doubt you’re a good chef, but how about the good-looking, capable, and unflappable bit?’
Jack looked hurt, and Amy took pity on him. ‘I was only joking! Now come on, there is something you’re not telling me. Spit it out before you have to dash back to Kent to prepare dinner at Kennedy’s, or whatever you said it was called?’
‘Yes, Kennedy’s. Except I’m not dashing back. I quit. I’m here to stay this time.’
‘That’s fantastic! I’m so glad. I’ve really missed you, and now you’re here you can be ...’ Amy stopped talking as she caught the tell-tale look on his face. ‘Hang on, you quit? You were just telling me how much you love your new vocation. What have you done?’
‘Well, the thing is...’
Amy sighed. ‘Oh no, Jack, not again.’ She shook her head sadly, ‘Go on then, tell me everything. Who was he this time?’
Getting up from her seat to relieve the cramp that being sat in one place for so long had given her, Amy listened to Jack’s explanation. Pacing the kitchen, she tried to get her head around what he was saying.
‘Let me get this straight. You’re here to start a restaurant of your own after you accidentally slept with your old boss – Gareth, did you say he was?’
‘Yes.’
‘Gareth, much to your astonishment and horror, declared a hidden passion for you and, unable to handle the rejection, subsequently made your life hell, so you quit.’
‘Correct.’
‘And now you’ve decided that you never want to risk hurting anyone or, be hurt by anyone else, ever again, and have taken yourself off the dating radar completely.’
‘Correct.’
‘And this plan means you’ll work for yourself, only employ women or straight men, and basically hide in your kitchen chopping parsley.’
‘Correct again ... but a little flippant.’
Amy looked her friend squarely in the face. ‘Flippant is pretty much all I can manage, Jack. All my worry genes are being employed elsewhere right now.’
Chapter Eight
Monday 6th June
Jack scrambled off his seat and crossed the kitchen at speed. ‘I’m so sorry, Amy.’ He gave her another careful hug. ‘I’ve been doing it again, haven’t I?’
‘Doing what?’
‘Talking about me. Hogging the conversation with my problems. I haven’t even asked how you are.’ He shook his head, ‘I was so determined not to do that. But you’re so easy to talk to and I...’
Amy laughed and raised her eyebrows.
‘And now I’m doing it again!’ Jack bit his bottom lip coyly and batted his eyelashes in a deliberately silly way to get her forgiveness. ‘So tell me, Mrs Donahue, how are you? I know you always wanted children, but ummm ... forgive me, there is no delicate way to ask this...’
‘Aren’t I a bit old to have a baby?’
‘Well ... you said it.’ Jack took Amy’s hand and led her into the living room, indicating that she should lie on the sofa. ‘But yes, that is what I was going to ask, albeit more subtly. Come on, feet up.’
‘I’m not an invalid, Jack.’
‘And yet you will put your feet up!’
Amy allowed herself to be fussed over for a while, ‘To tell you the truth, Jack, I’m scared stiff.’
‘Really? I assumed you’d be delighted.’
‘I am. We both are.’ Amy sighed. ‘Look at that book.’ She pointed to an open book on the coffee table that sat on the floor between where she lay and Jack sat in an armchair. ‘Is that or is that not the single most terrifying book you have ever seen in your life.’
Jack flicked through the pages of a week-by-week pregnancy guide. His face went a bit pale, and Amy couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Now, do you see why being flippant is pretty much my only way of coping with the knowledge that a human being is under construction inside me, while simultaneously making me feel like I’ve swallowed the spin cycle of a washing machine?’
‘Is that how it feels then?’
‘Sometimes.’
‘Hard to imagine that is all happening inside you right now. Jack pointed to a picture of a seven-month-old foetus. ‘What did the nurse or doctor or whoever say at your check-up this morning?’
‘How did...?’
‘Don’t worry, I’m not stalking you. I popped into Home Hunters to see you. A very pretty girl called Lauren told me that’s where you were. She seemed nice.’
‘She is. Lauren was the first member of staff I took on myself. She’s my PA, and darn good at her job.’ Amy paused. ‘So, you already knew I was pregnant then?’
‘Yes, but I imagined you only just pregnant, I wasn’t prepared for the full-on in bloom bit. You look incredible, by the way. I’ve never seen you looking so beautiful.’
Blushing, Amy wiped a stray blonde hair from her forehead. ‘Thanks, although you wouldn’t have been saying that through the morning sickness phase. I looked green and gaunt, and was a hormonal nightmare and regular bitch. I have no idea how Paul put up with me.’
‘Because he loves you, of course.’ Jack felt a sudden stab of jealousy towards Paul, though he instantly dismissed it. ‘So, tell me, what did the nurse have to say this morning?’
‘I’m fine. All is on course for August. My weight and blood pressure are good. It’s my constant worrying they can’t fix.’
Amy gave a half-smile as she recalled the expression on the health visitor’s face when she’d confessed she felt totally fine apart from her non-stop anxiety. ‘She told me that however tired and anxious I was now, it was nothing compared to how tired and concerned I’ll be when the baby arrives, so I should consider it practice!’
‘That’s awful. Fancy saying that to you!’
‘Would you rather she’d lied to me?’
‘Well, no. I suppose I assumed they’d have to be reassuring. Her honesty seems a little brutal.’
Suddenly he had the urge to ask Amy if she’d ever imagined what their kids would have been like – if they’d stayed together. But he didn’t. He was fairly sure he didn’t need to. Instinct told him that Amy was wondering that very thing right now.
From the back of his mind came an image of the man at Kew Gardens, together with all the happy children listening to him. ‘Just imagine what it’ll be like in a year or two. You’ll be able to take your child to Kew, drive to the coast to build sandcastles, teach them things, go to cafés, and do the stuff that you enjoy doing, but with someone who will love you always, no matter what.’
Although she tried, Amy couldn’t quite hide the concern she suddenly felt for her friend. ‘Are you OK, Jack?’
‘Sure,’ he mumbled. ‘I would have liked kids one day, that’s all.’ He sat up and put a bright smile on his face. ‘But I’ve made my bed and all that stuff. Tell me, do you know what colour Donahue it is going to be?’
‘Colour?’ Amy laughed. ‘Oh, no, we don’t know if it’ll be a pink or a blue Donahue. Neither of us wants to know until the day.’
Smiling his approval, Jack asked, ‘Why are you so worried anyway? You’ll be a brillia
nt parent. You were born to be a mum.’
‘Thanks, Jack.’ Amy motioned for him to join her on the sofa. ‘Sometimes it’s a lot to take in though. Paul and I got together at a time when we had both given up on finding someone to have children with. We talked about IVF and adoption, but neither option felt right, although I couldn’t logically tell you why. So when I fell pregnant naturally it was quite a shock.’
‘I bet! A nice shock though.’
As he sat next to her, Amy tucked her head into Jack’s shoulder, a position that felt as comfortable now as it had years ago. ‘It’s not the birth that concerns me, although I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, it’s the coping afterwards. No sleep, nappies, feeding. And then there’s work.’ Amy was talking faster and faster as all her fears poured out. ‘What if I can’t find anyone to do my job while I’m on maternity leave? And what if I change my mind about wanting to go back to Home Hunters once the baby is here? Although we need the money, so...’
‘Calm down, Amy, come on.’ Jack smoothed her blonde bob. It was a much shorter style on her than he was used to, and he found he missed how long her hair had been before he went away. ‘It’s all going to be OK. What does Paul say about all this?’
‘Well, I haven’t liked to bother him...’
Jack sat up straighter. ‘You’re kidding! Why not?’
‘He’s so excited about being a dad. I don’t want to ruin that for him.’
‘He isn’t daft, Amy. Paul must know you have concerns. I’m sure he has plenty of his own. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was having similar panics.’
‘You think so?’
‘Positive. I would be if the woman I love was about to give birth and I was going to be responsible for two people instead of one for the rest of my life.’
Amy lifted her head and looked at him. ‘My God! You make it sound terrifying!’
‘Sorry, Amy, but it is terrifying. For Paul and for you. But it is also miraculous and incredible.’ He touched the end of her nose affectionately. ‘I was just trying to make you see that you need to talk to your husband, because I bet you’re both harbouring very similar concerns.’
Leaning forward, Amy kissed Jack’s cheek. ‘Thanks, hun. You’re right.’ Swinging her feet to the floor, she slowly got up. ‘I’m glad you’re back. You are back to stay? For real?’
‘I am. For real.’ Jack tapped the sofa seat next to him. ‘Sit back down, woman, you’re supposed to be resting.’
‘That’s very sweet of you, but one of the problems of pregnancy needs addressing.’
He frowned. ‘You OK?’
‘I’m fine,’ Amy grinned, ‘but I’ll be even better when I’ve had a pee.’
Jack felt proud of himself. Rather than unintentionally making things worse, as he often seemed to, his chat with Amy had left him feeling as if he’d actually helped her and Paul.
As he headed to the Tube, he thought about what Amy had said as, having made her promise not to tell anyone else he was back until he’d had a chance to see them in person, he’d left her tucking into a banana and sugar sandwich.
‘Jack, you are going to see Kit now, aren’t you? You remember what happened last time you didn’t tell her everything?’
He knew she was right, but he wasn’t quite ready for another heart-to-heart yet. Still in a mild state of shock at finding Amy so heavily pregnant, and cross with himself for feeling that way, he headed towards Reading Nature rather than travelling back to his hotel.
As he walked along, Jack was disturbed by how much he minded missing out on the earlier stages of Amy’s pregnancy. He could have helped her out with shopping when she felt too sick to look at food, could have rubbed her back and made her feel better, and...
‘Idiot, of course you couldn’t. That’s Paul’s job now. Snap out of it, Jack, for goodness’ sake. You’re pathetic.’
Deciding that he’d only go into the shop if he could see that Phil wasn’t there, he made a contingency plan to go on to Kew for another head-clearing walk before heading to the bank later that afternoon. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Phil ... but as he was Kit’s husband, their relationship had never been perfect, to say the least.
Although Rob would probably give him a hard time about disappearing, Jack hoped he was there. Right from when they’d first met at university, Rob, his closest male friend, had always had the knack of making him see sense – providing he was in the mood to listen.
He was in luck: as Jack tentatively glanced through the bay window, he saw that Rob was alone, and quickly headed in.
‘Rob?’
‘Oh my God! The bad penny!’ Rob came out from behind the counter and embraced Jack. ‘Phil said you’d walk through the door one day as if you’ve never been away, and he was right.’
‘Annoyingly, Phil is nearly always right. How you doing? Debbie and the kids OK?’
‘Great, thanks, but to what do we owe the pleasure? You passing through, or are you back for good?’ Before Jack even opened his mouth in reply, Rob added, ‘And I beg you, do not make a reference to the Take That song, there’s a good chap!’
Jack gave the Scout salute. ‘I don’t do the lyrics thing anymore. Scout’s honour!’
Rob laughed. ‘I happen to know you were never in the Scouts, so I dread to think where you learnt to do that!’ Walking through to the shop’s compact kitchen area, he put the kettle on. ‘Come on then, spill the beans – why has the prodigal returned?’
As Rob listened to Jack telling him that he’d stayed away far longer than he’d intended to, and explaining that he’d got into cookery and was looking for a restaurant nearby, he couldn’t help but suspect that there was something more to his friend’s obvious unease than being wary of his reception after so long away. Stopping himself from asking if there was yet another failed relationship behind Jack’s abrupt return, he asked instead, ‘You seen the girls yet?’
‘I’ve just come from Amy. I’ll see Kit this evening. Don’t tell her I’m back, I’d hate her to hear second-hand.’
‘No problem. Amy’s looking great, isn’t she? Pregnancy suits her.’
‘She does indeed. It must be very exciting for her and Paul. I was lucky to catch her at home; she’d been for a check-up at the clinic.’
‘All good, I hope?’
‘Nothing but the usual anxieties about being a parent.’
Rob’s eyes narrowed, suspecting his friend was less thrilled about Amy’s forthcoming parenthood than he was declaring – but at least he was saying all the right things for once.
‘Right then.’ Jack put down his empty mug, ‘I have to shoot off. I’ve got an appointment at the bank. Pub for a pint soon?’
‘For sure.’ Rob followed his friend to the front door. ‘Don’t leave it too long before you see Kit, will you?’
‘That’s what Amy said.’
‘I’m sure she did.’
‘I've already said – I’m going to see her this evening, after the bank thing.’
‘Well, make sure you actually do.’
Trying not to feel annoyed – after all, Rob was justified if his past form was anything to go by – Jack simply nodded.
As he pushed the shop door open, the young man he had seen at Kew walked through, giving him a brief smile of thanks for holding it open.
Hesitating, Jack hovered outside the shop, his breath snagged in his throat. Should he go back in and introduce himself? Was fate giving him a nudge?
Striding off down the road, he gave himself yet another talking to. I am not going to be that sort of man any more. I am better off alone. And anyway, the last thing he needed was for Rob to witness him attempting to chat someone up – especially if he was knocked back.
Three steps later, his phone burst into life.
‘Hi, Jack, it’s Amy. Fancy coming over for a meal with me, Paul, Kit, and Phil soon? I’ve got something to ask you.’
Chapter Nine
Tuesday 7th June
‘Are you sure, Scott? W
hat if Helena picks up on it when she comes over later?’
Scott stacked freshly decorated cupcakes onto an old-fashioned cake stand as he tried to reassure his wife. ‘I’m sure Megan won’t say anything. After all, she hasn’t even told us if she wants the job yet, has she?’
Peggy had been keen to share with Kit the news about the second branch. She didn’t like keeping secrets from her friend, and she hoped that if she shared something private, Kit might open up a bit about what was troubling her, too.
‘I know it isn’t in your nature not to discuss things with your friends, but I’m scared of jinxing it. I want our plans to work. After all, if this new café doesn’t prove to be the investment we hope it will, we could end up not getting the retirement we hope for,’ Scott said.
Peggy embraced her husband. He was always so positive and lively, it was easy to forget sometimes that he worried about the future as much as she did.
‘OK, love, we’ll say nothing to Kit for now.’
‘Not really an option today, anyway.’ Scott inclined his head towards Kit’s corner. The seat she occupied every morning was vacant, the coffee Peggy had placed on her regular table twenty minutes earlier, ready for her daily at nine o’clock arrival, was fast growing cold.
Peggy frowned. ‘What time is it?’
‘Half past nine.’ Scott smiled at his wife. ‘Don’t look so concerned. It’s Helena’s first training session at ten, Kit probably stayed home late so she can walk in with her.’
‘Yes, that’s probably it.’ Peggy tried to sound convinced, but she wasn’t. Kit was always at her desk by five past nine at the absolute latest. She checked her mobile to make sure there weren’t any texts from Kit saying she’d been delayed, but there was nothing.
Taking away the cold coffee, Peggy was distracted by the arrival of Megan and a handful of customers who all drifted through the front door at the same time. Adopting her perfect hostess smile, she set off to work.
Peggy had never seen Helena look nervous before. The eighteen-year-old had exuded an occasionally unsettling overconfidence ever since she was a little girl, and Peggy had to hide the amused smirk that was threatening to shine in her eyes. It was reassuring to know that the teenager wasn’t as cocksure as she always made herself out to be.
