“Of course...is that it?” Aviva said, her gaze transfixed on the monster machine standing before her. She’d never ridden on a motorbike before, and in all honesty, she didn't really want to start now.
“You’re sure you know how to drive this thing?”
“Are you calling me a pussy who can't control a bike?” Jason was amused. She had just insulted him and didn’t even realize it.
“What are you talking about? I said no…” Whatever else she had to say faded away into mumbles as Jason pushed the spare helmet over her head, and moved it around to ensure it was secure. When he looked back at her face, she was in mid eye roll, so he flipped down the visor, cutting her off. He was definitely pissed off, but was unsure if it was at himself or her seeming lack of trust in him. It was quite possibly a mixture of the two, however now was not the time to decipher which feeling took prominence.
Flinging a long leg over the bike, Jason told her to get on behind him. As she tentatively positioned herself behind him, he used his cell to make the call Jake was expecting. Disconnecting, Jason pulled on his own helmet and engaged the ignition.
“Hold on to my waist,” he instructed. Her hesitation riling him even further.
“Aviva, you need to hold on to me if you don't want to fly off the end of this machine.”
Slowly, Jason felt her arms move against the side of his body, sneaking around his waist. At her earlier aversion to touching him, he was surprised when she didn't just clasp his jacket, rather she pressed her chest against his back and took hold of her wrists which she held clasped tightly against his chest.
What the hell was going on with her? One minute she didn't want to touch him and the next she was pressed up against him so tight he could feel the contours of her breasts even through the thickness of both their jackets.
Switching his mind back to getting her to safety, Jason looked up and down the street, ensuring it was safe before pulling out into the road. He could feel her shaking, and he didn't know why. So for the sake of his sanity, he decided it was due to her nerves at being on the back of the powerful motorbike.
The London traffic was a mess of black cabs, double-decker buses and a myriad of other vehicles confined in a very small space, all driving on the wrong side of the road. Even so, it didn't take them long to get back to the hotel. Jason noticed a large truck nearing the turn he needed to get to the back of the hotel for Aviva's drop off point. Increasing the throttle, weaving into the traffic, he slipped behind the truck, which obscured them from anyone who might still be watching the front of the hotel. Making a sharp left turn, he felt Aviva tighten her grip, probably worried she’d be unseated.
As soon as he turned the corner, he began to slow the bike, unsure of the exact location of the door he needed. Jake stepped out of the shadows and Jason came to a halt beside him, nodding his head in acknowledgment of Jake’s inquiring look. All had gone to plan.
Aviva sat staring at Jake. She was happy to see him but her helmet hid that fact. She was also glad that Jason hadn't been alone while she was gone. He might not be willing to admit it, but she was sure they had been of comfort and help to him.
“Go with Jake, Aviva. I'll be up in a little while,” Jason said, flipping up his visor so she could hear him.
Doing the same to her own helmet, Aviva had no intention of following that instruction without comment. “Why do I need to go with him? Where are you going? What are you going to do?”
“Just go with Jake. I'll be up in a little while.” Jason didn’t want to waste time with long, drawn out explanations while they were exposed in a back alley.
Aviva started to panic. Why was he being so evasive? Did he have some mad scheme of going after the men who had held her captive? Well, Jake could get stuffed! She wasn't going anywhere without Jason.
“No!”
“What?”
“I said, no.” Aviva watched as Jason's head dropped forward at her monosyllabic response. Well, he only had himself to blame, she thought. She’d learned this way of answering from a master...him.
He immediately recognized himself in her reply, but he didn't have the time or the privacy to deal with it. She still clutched him tightly one hand, and her body was still pressed so tightly against him he could feel that she’d begun to tremble again. He also knew that if he wanted her to do as he asked without bodily picking her up and placing her in Jake's arms, he would have to say something to allay her fears. Jason didn't like this newfound lack of trust she was exhibiting but to expedite the situation, he decided on the truth. After all, he had nothing to hide.
“This is the plan we agreed on before I came to get you. You get dropped off here, where it's safe and I drive the bike through the front entrance of the garage, alone. If someone's watching us, they'll be none the wiser that you're here.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so from the beginning?!” Aviva said, releasing her death grip on Jason's waist, shifting backwards in her seat until she was in a position to gingerly swing her leg over the side of the bike to gain her footing.
Not wanting any more delays in getting her to safety, Jason decided to agree with anything she said. “I know, Angel, you're right. I should have just told you in the first place.”
“You got that right. That would have saved us from having this inane conversation,” Jake muttered under his breath.
Reaching out for her, Jake was shocked when she pulled violently away from his touch. “I didn't mean to offend you with my words. I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you I'm glad you're back.”
“You didn't, offend me that is. Just, please don't touch me.”
“Okay, whatever you want. This way, please.” Hurt reflected in his eyes by her words, Jake held out his hand, indicating the open door. With a nod of her head, Aviva gave Jason one last glance before she disappeared inside with Jake following behind.
Jason wasted no time turning the motorcycle and heading back towards the road. He wasn't interested in who, if anyone, was watching him. Aviva was safely inside the hotel and all that was left for him to do was to follow through with their ruse and get back to her. He had questions that needed answers. Then he had business to conduct.
Chapter 3
Aviva insisted on waiting for Jason’s arrival in the garage, so they all made their way back to the suite together. Jason opened the door, Aviva passed through and all three brothers followed her into the room. Looking around at her surroundings, she saw the type of expensive décor she had started associating with these men of wealth.
It was a beautiful, high-ceilinged room, wallpapered in a soft grey-blue hue with white, clean moldings. The large curtained windows nearly took up a whole wall. Large sofas sat on either side of the space in a deeper shade of the color that adorned the walls. Gold framed mirrors and paintings of the English countryside hung on the walls, adding to the room’s opulence. The surprising color for Aviva was the accent color. The lampshades and a few scattered cushions were a dusky pink, and it worked beautifully.
Jake was the first to break the silence, knowing the couple had much to discuss, and while he was curious as to what had happened to her, he knew they needed to be alone, to begin the healing process. He couldn't begin to understand what she had been through as they had worked ceaselessly to locate her. He was sure, no matter his imaginings, the reality was ten times worse.
Looking over at his younger brother, he inclined his head towards the door, indicating that they should leave, and give the couple time alone. Without hesitation, Josh reached for the door handle to lead the way out.
“We're going to leave you two alone,” Jake spoke softly, acutely aware of the tension being emitted from Jason and Aviva. “Aviva, it’s good to have you back.”
“I'll second that. I missed you, and I'm glad you're back with us…where you belong,” Josh said with a smile.
Looking over at the men standing by the door, Aviva felt the need to say something to them that would express how she felt about what they had done f
or her. What they had done for Jason. Yet somehow the words wouldn't come. They stayed locked inside her, emotion shining in her eyes. Soon, very soon, she would find the words to let them know how much she appreciated them. Only she couldn't do it now. There were still too many emotions coursing through her.
A new thought ran through Aviva’s mind at how she had gotten so lucky to have these strong men care so much about her. It was overwhelming and at the same time humbling. That line of thought increased her level of emotional turmoil. She wanted to at least smile to reassure them, to thank them without words, but she was unable to carry out even so simple an act.
Pulling away from the stripped back emotions in her eyes, Josh looked at his older brother but Jason's attention was solely directed on Aviva. Bidding them goodnight, Josh and Jake exited the room unnoticed by the other two occupants.
~~~~~~~~~~
Aviva had Jason's complete attention. It had been over a week since he had last put her into the taxi to go shopping. He remembered the feeling of disquiet lingering over him. His reluctance to say goodbye. Unaware that at the end of the day he would be involved in a desperate race against time to trace her location.
Looking at the face he never doubted he would see again, he couldn't help but register the changes. One of the things that had attracted him to her almost from the moment of their meeting was her vitality for life. It had shone out of her, capturing his attention. Now in the space of eight days that zest for life appeared to have been extinguished.
The missing spark broke Jason's heart and he felt tremendous guilt for the part he had inadvertently played in her kidnapping. He knew they had hurt her, and for that they would pay. But in that moment, all he wanted was a way to get through to his woman…the same one he knew a little over a week ago. He realized it would take time and he would gladly give it, whatever she needed to heal, as long as it was within his power, it was hers. Jason acknowledged that probably the greatest gift he could probably give her was rest in the assurance that she was safe.
“What do you need, Angel?”
Aviva didn't look across at Jason as her barely audible response gently brushed his hearing. “I need a shower, and then I just want to sleep.”
Jason walked towards her, his steps unhurried, unwilling to spook her. Coming to a stop at her side, he held out his hand and waited for her to take it, but the contact never came. Her hands remained hanging at her sides, balled into small fists, as her body swayed from side to side.
Jason moved to take her in his arms, needing to offer what support he could. But she moved away from his reach, avoiding contact.
Extending his arm, he indicated the way to the bedroom he had been using, his gaze sharp should she need his help. “The bedroom is this way.”
Gradually her head rose, following the direction of his extended hand. One dragging step at a time, Aviva made slow progress towards the bedroom, followed closely by a watchful Jason. She needed to reach the confines of the room quickly. She needed to get away from him before she fell apart.
Aviva knew with a certainty that if she allowed Jason to coddle her, she would lose the control she was only managing to hold on to by will alone. All it would take was one touch for her to fall apart and begin bawling like a baby. She needed to hold onto her dignity for as long as she could. She knew that if she gave in to her emotions, her crying would turn into a hysterical breakdown.
With tears pooling her eyes, Aviva kept moving towards the bedroom with an ever increasing feeling of urgency. Reaching for the handle of the door, she turned it, pushed it open and stepped inside, acutely aware of Jason's proximity.
Turning towards a waiting Jason, a rush of words at the ready, Aviva saw that he remained immobile. He hadn't taken even a step to accompany her inside the bedroom. The words froze in her throat. Lowering her eyes, she was unable to meet his gaze.
“It's okay, Angel. You go on and do whatever you need to do. If you need me, call me. I'll be right here. I won't leave you alone. I'll never leave you.”
Aviva felt shame at her inability to reach out to this compassionate man. Her mind kept returning to the nightmarish days and nights she had spent in captivity, wishing for just this moment. People had lost their lives right before her eyes, people she had come to know, only to suffer at their betrayal. Yet something prevented her from allowing him near.
“I'm sorry...I just need some time. I just need to be alone for...a while.”
“It's okay, Angel. I understand. I'll be right here when you need me,” Jason assured her, looking down at her bent head as she still refused to meet his eyes. “Go on, and do what you need to do to feel better.”
Taking hesitant steps backwards, Aviva moved further into the confines of the room. She could still feel the penetration of Jason's eyes, willing her to look up at him, but she couldn't do it. So she closed her eyes, much like a child who believed that if they couldn't see someone, the other person also couldn't see them. With her eyes still closed, she finally heard the bedroom door shut as Jason withdrew to give her the privacy she'd requested.
Lifting her head at last, Aviva took in her surroundings. The room was unlike any hotel room she had ever stayed in. After all the darkness that had been her constant companion for the past eight days; all the bright colors of the décor should have been a relief, yet it grated on her nerves. It was so impersonal that she longed for the familiar. Her studio in New York or Jason's bedroom that she had begun to think of as home.
Even in her emotionally exhausted state, Aviva could appreciate her surroundings on a peripheral level, but the opulence, only contributed to her disquiet.
In their dreams of love and romance, little girls nearly always imagined that the man they would fall in love with would be able to furnish them with all that was currently displayed before her. But at what price? They never thought that there might be a price to pay. She was the proof that everything came with a price.
He may love you, he may be willing to shower you with all that she desired, but in the end, what was the actual price you might be asked to pay. Could it be your integrity or could it be your sanity? Maybe even both. Aviva was no longer certain.
Her only certainty at that moment was she would have to live with what had been done to her. The degradation she had suffered at the hands of unscrupulous men. Her mind traveled back to her uncertainty of weeks ago. Back when she wondered whether she could ever fully reconcile what Jason had done to those who had wronged him and those he loved. She could, she understood that now.
The bedroom contained many identical doors. Aviva was unsure which one would lead to the bathroom. All she really wanted was to cleanse herself and sleep. Hopefully, oblivion would give her some respite from the constant horrors rushing around her head.
Opening the first door she came to, she was confronted by a display of men’s clothing, obviously Jason's closet. Reaching in, she buried her nose into the hanging garments to take in his scent. Inhaling, she allowed the familiar to wash over her. She had missed the smell of him. She had tried to conjure up its familiarity to give her comfort when she needed it most, but she could never quite get it right.
Selecting a shirt, Aviva withdrew it from the closet and held it against her nose as she closed her eyes and inhaled again. Satisfied, she opened her eyes and moved on. Opening another door, she found what she was looking for, the bathroom.
Dropping the shirt on a nearby chair, she discarded her garments one at a time, pain shooting through her body with each movement. Standing before the large gilt framed mirror, she slowly raised her eyes to take in her image. She hardly recognized the reflection that stared back at her. The body was familiar, only thinner. The great thighs of China still remained but they too had been diminished.
The most telling change, however, were her eyes. They were now hollow, empty and afraid. If all this was so apparent to her, what had Jason and his brothers detected? Lacking the energy to process her thoughts further, Aviva moved across the expanse of marbl
ed flooring toward the huge shower. Stepping in, she adjusted the dials until the temperature gauge was set to her liking. Hot, as hot as her body could take it, subconsciously associating the heat as a means of washing away her degradation.
As the hot water cascaded down her body, Aviva suddenly lost the ability to support her own weight. Sinking to her knees, she allowed the overheated water to flow over her. But it wasn't enough. Reaching up, she adjusted the flow. She needed a torrent. Plopping down on her backside, she bowed her head, her hands in her lap. Only then did she permit the tears to come. She was safe. Jason was on the other side of the door. Even though she had shut him out, refusing to give him access to her overabundance of emotions, she could still feel his presence. She needed this time alone. Tomorrow would be soon enough to have to cope with all the questions that were reflected in his eyes. At last she was safe, so she allowed the terror she had endured to surface and pour out – he was on the other side of the door.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason waited until he heard the sound of the water within the shower before he ventured into the bedroom, unable to remain outside. If ever someone needed him, it was his angel. But he knew he had to respect her wishes by giving her the space she thought she needed. She had a very big lesson in store, one that he would make sure she learned and never forgot. There was nothing she needed to be ashamed of with him, nor hide or keep secret.
He had survived some of the most traumatic experiences any human being could endure. Yet here he was, and when he had admitted them out loud, his beginnings and his crime, she had still given him her love. How could he do anything less?
Giving her his love was his greatest pleasure. He was amongst the lucky few to find the total acceptance he had unknowingly been searching for all his life and somehow, in his undeserving existence, it had been granted to him. He had found his angel.
How could he do anything other than fight for her, cherish her no matter the odds? So Jason watched Aviva, unobserved through the mist covered enclosure of the shower, as she sat under the spray of the water. He gave her solitude yet was ready to step in if he was needed.
For Love and Vengeance Page 2
