by Lila Kane
“And I’m not going to understand unless you tell me.”
“You’re stubborn.”
His eyes flashed with amusement, and then admiration. “So are you.”
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready. In the meantime, you have to follow my lead. You can’t do anything I don’t agree to or I’ll lose my trust in you.”
He gritted his teeth, hands on his hips. “That’s not fair.”
I reached for the button of my shirt and undid it. His gaze simmered with heat. “Promise,” I said, “because I don’t want to have this discussion again.”
I undid another button. I was done with words. I wanted something more between us, and I wanted to be done with this conversation until we were both in a better frame of mind.
His eyes narrowed. “Now you’re just playing dirty.”
“Scared?”
His jaw shifted. “Charlotte,” he said, voice filled with warning.
I undid another button so my bra peeked through. I wasn’t above playing dirty. It wasn’t just that I wanted him to forget this, though, it was that I wanted him. All of him, all over me. Right now.
His hands twitched on his hips as the last button came undone.
“Promise,” I said.
He growled in frustration.
I smiled. “Promise.”
“Fine,” he huffed. “But—”
“No buts. I want you, Finn. And now that we have that out of the way, we can focus on something else.”
I started to pull off my shirt, but Finn knocked my hands aside. “Hell no, we’re not doing this your way, too.”
Laughing, I reached for his shirt instead. He captured my hands in his and pulled me close. My breath whooshed out and my throat dried. I could feel his entire body, hard and firm against mine.
“I’ll keep my promise,” he said, “but I think it should be open for negotiation.”
At the seriousness in his eyes, I dropped my defenses and my playfulness and nodded. “You’re right, Finn. It should be. I want to…” I looked down at our hands, Finn’s fingers twined with mine. “I want to talk to you. You’ve been open with me, and I want to do the same with you.”
When I returned my gaze to his, his eyes were wide. Surprise reflected back at me. He wasn’t expecting this. And I wasn’t either.
“I trust you,” I said.
His lips parted. “Thank you.”
And then his mouth was on mine like he couldn’t hold back anymore. My hands were trapped between us, but he wouldn’t loosen his hold.
“Charlotte,” he murmured, changing the angle of the kiss so his hand supported the back of my head.
My whole body tingled with anticipation and longing. A long roll of pleasure went through me, making me come alive.
“No more interruptions,” I told Finn.
Finn removed my shirt. “Not a problem for me.”
I smiled at him and he paused, hands framing my face. “You are so beautiful. Please don’t stop smiling like that. Ever.”
The words made my smile falter. It had been so long since I’d been able to live in the moment. And Finn was giving me that.
I kissed him tenderly on the mouth, lingering with my tongue sliding across his lips. “I don’t know what to say, Finn. You’re…”
His hands roamed on my back, and then unlatched my bra. “You don’t have to say anything, just feel.”
He dropped my bra to the floor and then stood back, eyes drinking in my bare skin. I reached for him, but he backed me to the bed. He curled one arm around me and leaned me back. A laugh of surprise lodged in my throat. Finn’s eyes gleamed with amusement and hunger.
When I was horizontal, relaxed on the soft comforter, Finn slowed down. He skimmed his fingers over my shoulders and then traced a path to my breasts. He followed the motion with his mouth, capturing one of my nipples between his lips before swirling around it with his tongue. The light from the window shone on the side of his face, and I blinked, feeling a familiar rush of love for him. Most of it was left over from before, when I had been barely more than a girl getting to experience the feeling of being intensely connected to someone. But part of it, a growing part, was new to me. Fresh feelings for this new man who stood in front of me.
God, it was so different than it had been with Mark. Mark had liked to come home from work and let his stress out almost every day. Sometimes rough, sometimes gentle, but almost every day. Mindless sex that didn’t equal love.
“What is it?” Finn asked, his breathing heavy.
I drove my fingers into his hair, hating that I’d let the memory of Mark intrude on the moment. “Nothing. I want you, and this. Don’t stop.”
He removed his pants, letting his cock spring free. I exhaled. I’d forgotten how well-endowed Finn was. How perfectly we fit together. He leaned over me on the bed, raining soft kisses down my neck to my collarbone. He squeezed my breast with one hand and then rubbed the pad of his thumb over the nipple, making me arch on the bed.
His cock pressed into my thigh, hard and ready for me. My body ached for him. To have him inside of me, for us to be one.
I reached for Finn, but he whispered, “Not yet,” and kissed lower. Down my stomach and to the peak of my legs. My hands clenched on the comforter.
“Oh, God,” I gasped.
Finn made a noise of approval and swirled his tongue in slow circles on my clit, making my body burst with sensation. He took his time. Unlike Mark, he spent time on every part of my body until my breath came out in sharp pants.
“Finn,” I said, reaching up again, moments before exploding against him. I hooked him around his neck, using all my strength to pull his mouth to mine.
I matched his pace with one of my own, assaulting his senses to give my own body a break. To be able to hear that low groan in his throat and know he was feeling as much as I was.
Then I arched my hips to his and he entered me, slow and full. After so long, it made my body tighten up at first. Finn paused and pulled back.
“Charlotte,” he murmured.
“No, it’s fine. Keep going, Finn. It feels good.”
He linked his fingers with mine, setting a slow speed at first, possessing me like he had in the past. I reached around, cupping his ass, and pressing my hips to his to feel him as deeply as possible. He stretched me so wide all I could think was Yes.
My body remembered his so well. Each thrust, each movement. But there was more. Finn wasn’t the young man he used to be. He was more.
With his eyes on mine, he drove in and out, building speed until his body tightened up. I whispered his name on an intake of breath before the world shattered around me. Finn followed after, his arms coming around to hold me tight until our hearts settled into a linked rhythm and finally slowed down.
We stayed like that for a long time, arms locked around each other. Finn’s breath tickled my hair and for a moment, I thought he might have fallen asleep.
Then he said, “Are you okay?”
I tilted my head so I could meet his eyes. “It’s been a while since I’ve done that,” I said with a wry grin. It had. I hadn’t been with anyone since Mark.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
He gripped my chin, eyes glued to mine. “Honestly, Charlotte.”
“No, you didn’t hurt me. I forgot that it could be like that. Gentle and intense at the same time. Finn…”
When I didn’t continue, he pressed a kiss to my temple. “You can tell me.”
“I really missed you.”
He nodded and in all seriousness, said, “I really missed you, too.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
We ate an early dinner at the table with the amazing view and then curled up on the couch with wine and a whole lot of words that weren’t being said.
To fill the silence, Finn turned on music, a song heavy with piano and heartbreak. When he returned to the couch, he pulled my feet into his lap. “You’re not really quitting, are you?”
“I don’t want to,” I admitted.
“Then don’t.”
I looked over at him, my lips curving into a small smile. He looked so relaxed, and the idea of simply staying here was so simple. I wished I could be like that. I used to be like that. Now, I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Always balancing, never able to fully unwind because I had to pay attention. Always.
“What changed, Finn?” I asked.
He angled his head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you used to be so…busy. Always moving, always doing something. We didn’t sit like this often or take much time to enjoy each other’s company without a distraction. And now…you’re here. Just relaxing. And I’m the anxious one, feeling like I need to be out of my seat.”
He looked down at my feet, watching his hands as he rubbed them. Just enough pressure to make me relax another notch.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “We don’t have to talk about before.”
He blew out a breath. “No, it’s good. It’s probably best if I get a reminder here and there that this is my do-over. I don’t want to fuck it up again.”
“That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t bringing up the past to try to rub it in or make you feel guilty.”
He held my feet when I tried to pull them off his lap. “I know, Charlotte. Don’t get up. This is something we need to talk about.”
“We don’t.”
“We do,” he insisted. “Please.”
I swallowed and pulled a pillow onto my lap like it would shield me from all the things I was afraid he would say. Or that he’d expect me to say next.
“It’s not a long story,” Finn said, rubbing my feet again. “My mom and Jake were pissed when I broke it off with you. They said I’d made the biggest mistake of my life and if I kept doing what I was doing I’d never find someone who really cared about me like you did.” He glanced at me, and I spotted sadness in his eyes. “They were right. I tried to call you more than once, but I couldn’t get through. Or I’d lose my nerve. Or I’d convince myself you’d never talk to me again. Then Jake met Kaycee and he fell for her. Big time. She pushed for a fast engagement, and Mom and I knew something was off. We thought she was after his money. She told him she was pregnant so they got married right away. When we found out she wasn’t really pregnant, things got ugly. She wanted a lot of money and she wanted out. It was…” Finn sighed and leaned his head back on the cushions. “Shit, it wasn’t fair. Not to Jake. It was like my karma kicking him in the balls. He got screwed, but we both learned a lesson. I knew I had to change and I knew I wanted you back in my life.”
“Poor Jake. You’re right, that wasn’t fair. But you know what? Life kicks you in the balls regardless of whether or not you deserve it.”
Finn turned his head, watching me. I shrugged. “Just saying. How’s Jake doing now?”
“Better. He’s keeping busy with work—another project I’m going to help him with once this one is done. This one was…is mine. And yours. I had to be here.”
I crawled over to him and straddled his lap, resting my arms on his shoulders. His hands found my waist, resting just above the band of the shorts I’d put on.
“Thank you for telling me. And thank you for building Oasis. It’s beautiful. It’s…”
“Yours,” Finn said. He put his hand gently over my mouth when I started to protest. “It’s already in the paperwork. It’s done. You belong here. Which is why you can’t quit.”
My mouth opened and closed again. This. Oasis. It was mine. But…that couldn’t be. I hadn’t done anything, just had a dream a long time ago when the world was a different place. And maybe it wasn’t the best idea for me to be tied to a place like this. A place I was already falling in love with when I shouldn’t. Not if I might have to leave eventually.
“Say you’ll stay,” Finn said, brushing his thumb on my cheekbone.
“I wish it were that easy. That simple. I want to, but I don’t know.”
“I think you do. I think you’re ready to find a home. To stand up for it.”
I leaned my head on Finn’s shoulder. “Easy for you to say.”
“No, it’s not. Because this is still your home with or without me. And that scares the shit out of me.”
My head came up. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I don’t know what you’re going to decide. You’ve already walked out of my life once. And I almost lost you today. I want you to stay for this place and if that means I have to take a step back for you to do what you need to do, I will. I don’t want to be another Mark in your life.”
I flinched at his name. Before I could move off Finn’s lap, his hands were on my waist again, holding me still. His fingers squeezed tight.
“Don’t run away from this. Talk to me,” Finn said, hardness in his tone. “Or talk to someone if it can’t be me.”
“I…you…” I shook my head, trying to reconcile Finn, this new him, with the person I used to know. He’d be willing to leave this place and give it up if it meant I’d stay? “You sound so sure of yourself.”
“I sound like you. Like you did back then. You knew what you wanted and who you wanted it with. Now I know how it feels.” He smiled at me. “And it sucks. At least, the not knowing the other end part. I know what I want, and that’s a wonderful thing. But not knowing what you’re going to choose—if you’ll be a part of it…yeah. Sucks.”
Blinking back the tears that filled my eyes, I said, “Remember that promise you made?”
He squinted. “The one in the bedroom? When you were distracting me with your body?”
“Yes, that one.”
“I remember you said you’d compromise.”
I pulled in a slow breath. I had. And I wasn’t about to go back on my word, especially not after he’d been so open with me. “Mark said he’d hurt my friends or my family if I said anything about what he was doing. That’s why I didn’t want you involved, and that’s why I was scared to say anything.”
Finn’s hands slowly clenched on my waist, a frightening amount of strength in them. “Motherfucker.”
“That’s why I cut my family out of my life. For their safety. And that’s why I’m scared to death for you to do anything now. That’s why I left this afternoon. Why I quit. You can’t do anything, Finn. You can’t.”
“Charlotte—” He bit off the rest of his response and then moved me aside so he could stand. He jerked a hand through his hair and started pacing.
“Finn,” I said, scrambling off the couch.
“He can’t do that. He can’t threaten you like that. What the hell does he think is going to happen? He’s never going to get caught? That you’ll just go back to him and let him treat you like shit?”
“Finn,” I said again. I walked around the coffee table. He paced the other way, now a shadow in front of the window.
“This is bullshit. You know that, right? I—”
“Finn,” I snapped. “Stop.”
He paused in front of the window, eyes meeting mine. I walked to him and took his hand.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you and why I quit. Mark doesn’t make idle threats. If you do something to him or go after him, someone could get hurt.”
Finn fought with my words. I could see his brain working a million miles an hour, considering, thinking, maybe even plotting.
“This is why I asked you to promise.”
After a moment, his hand squeezed mine. “I understand where you’re coming from. But this has to stop.”
“I have to be smart about this, Finn. I have to make sure no one gets hurt and that I have proof.”
Jaw tense, he nodded. “Okay. But I’m helping.”
He spotted my hesitation but didn’t say a word. It was a risk. I hadn’t gotten anyone else involved in this, and now Finn knew and so did Paige. There were a handful of people’s lives I was taking a risk with now.
“Please be careful. You have to talk to me, okay?” I asked Finn. But he realized I’d given in, and
he hauled me into his arms.
“I will. I’ll be careful. I’ll help you on this. You’re not in it alone anymore.”
I nodded, the fear still trickling in anyway. “Okay.”
“Don’t be scared.”
“I’m trying.”
He pulled back. “And you’re staying, right? You want your job back?”
“Yes.”
“Good. No more running.”
“No more running,” I whispered, putting my cheek to Finn’s chest.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
My phone rang just as I was heading to Paige’s apartment, and I smiled when I saw Finn’s number.
“I’m getting ready to come down,” he said. “I could wait for you.”
“We already talked about this.”
He sighed. I heard the ding of the elevator. “I’d feel better walking with you.”
“Paige will be with me, we’ll head straight over, and I’ll call if anything seems off.”
“Or if you’re nervous for any reason. Or if—”
“Yes. Any of those things. I promise.”
It was quiet on his end for a moment. I knocked on Paige’s door and waited for her to answer.
“I’m glad you stayed last night,” Finn said.
“Me too.”
And I was glad I decided to stay at Oasis as well. Now I just had to face my first day back at work knowing Mark was still out there and this time, I wasn’t running.
Paige opened the door and smiled when she saw I was on the phone. She waved me inside and I followed her in, noticing she’d rearranged the furniture.
“I’m at Paige’s,” I told Finn. “We’ll be on our way soon.”
“I’ll keep my phone close.”
After I hung up, Paige came out of the kitchen with a piece of toast on a paper towel. “Was that Finn?”
“Yes.”
“Is his apartment like a dream? Huge? With a good view? Does he have a housekeeper?” she asked. “And a chef? Did you eat lobster when you went over there?”
Laughter bubbled out. “Lobster?”
She shrugged, eating her last bite of toast. “It sounds sophisticated and expensive. Dreamy.”
