by Lisa Olsen
“I know, but…” She let out a long sigh, staring down at him. “Who is he?”
“I don’t know, a convenience store clerk.”
“Yes, but is he married? Does he have a family? Is someone’s life about to be utterly destroyed when he doesn’t come home today?”
“I don’t know, Anja.” It hadn’t crossed his mind in such detail. “In any case, there’s nothing we can do about it now. Feeding accidents happen from time to time.” Though he doubted it’d been as much of an accident as it had been carelessness.
“I know. I mean, I get that we’re vampires. I just feel like it’s all… like it’s…”
“A really big waste of life.”
“Yes, exactly.” A beatific smile lit up her face, and it struck him how utterly gorgeous she was. Carys was a beautiful girl too, but Anja… there was a light inside her that Carys’ jaded beauty didn’t possess. “You get it,” she nodded, laying her hand on his arm.
He did and he didn’t. The clerk was nothing to him, but Bishop understood her want to preserve life, he felt it too, even as he instinctively knew it must not have always been that way for him. He wondered when that had changed for him. Was it since he’d become a cop? It made sense, he was bound to have come into contact with a lot of death. It was sweet that she felt a total stranger’s death so deeply though, and he offered her a faint smile. “You must be an old soul.”
“Are you calling me an old lady?” she raised a brow at him, and Bishop’s hands came up in supplication.
“No, that wasn’t it at all. I meant, with age comes wisdom.”
“That’s a little sweeter,” she allowed, with an easy smile. “I guess I haven’t thought about myself that way. I could be older than you for all we know.”
“Only one way to find out.”
“What’s that?”
“Want to arm wrestle?” Bishop grinned, waggling his eyebrows in an effort to get her to smile again. Anja laughed at that, and all he wanted was the chance to grapple with her, not inappropriately, but for the chance to hold her in his arms again. Man, he had it bad – and she wasn’t his. Not anymore. He sobered, tearing his gaze from her face to look up at the sky. “We should go back inside. Dawn is coming soon, don’t you think?”
Her face lifted up to the stars overhead. “I think you’re right. Plus, now that we have power, I can make a cup of cocoa at the touch of a button. I found some mini-marshmallows in the back of the cupboard when I was looking through the kitchen before. They’re kind of hard, but I think they’ll be okay. Don’t you?”
A brief flash of memory came to him. He remembered Anja handing him a mug of something hot, wearing nothing but a smile. She was breathtaking. It only lasted a few seconds, but he replayed it in his mind, not wanting to let go just yet.
“Hello, Earth to Bishop.” Anja waved her hand in front of his face, catching his attention, and he shook himself out of it. “You okay?”
No. I want something I can’t have. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said with a tight smile. “Let’s go back.”
*
Bishop and Anja dropped off an armload of wood by the fireplace (because of course Anja volunteered to help, that was the kind of girl she was), and Rob frowned at them.
“You should’ve asked me to lend a hand with the wood. You didn’t have to dirty your hands,” he said, picking up her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of her fingers.
“I was already out there,” she smiled, her eyes all besotted with Rob’s show of affection. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Still, I’d never ask my lady to do menial chores like that.”
Bishop couldn’t help but think that comment was aimed at him, but he refrained from biting back that he hadn’t asked Rob to climb into Carys’ bed for a threesome either. All that would do was hurt Anja in the process.
“I think I can do this lifeforce spell now,” Nell piped up, positively beaming. “I study it forwards and backwards, and I am confident I will not be making a mess of it again.”
“Tonight?” Anja’s eyes widened in surprise, and Bishop shared her trepidation.
“It’s late,” he said. “We’ve all had a trying night. We’ll figure out what the plan is tomorrow.”
“But Jakob is needing this spell,” she objected.
Jakob laid a hand on her shoulder. “I am well enough, Nelleke. One more night will not tax me overmuch.”
“You should try getting some sleep too, Nell,” Anja pointed out. “You’ll want to be well rested before you try a spell like that.”
“Yes, I am supposing you are right,” the witch nodded with reluctance.
Bishop scanned the great room, finding no sign of his intended. “Where did Carys slip off to?”
“She and Aubrey already went to bed,” Rob replied, wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist. “Which is where we ought to be as well.”
“You’re right,” she nodded, her arm going around him in kind. “Goodnight, guys. We’ll see you when the sun goes down.”
“Goodnight,” Bishop called back, waiting until they left before he sought his own room.
He half expected to find Aubrey in bed with Carys when he got there, but Carys was all alone when he found her, dressed in a blue satiny nightdress and robe thing that hugged her curves. She’d reapplied her make-up while freshening up, and her lips were red and slick as they parted in invitation.
“There you are, lover. Come and join me in our bed.” She patted the quilt next to her.
“This isn’t our bed, is it?” He’d found her in the master, not the room they’d found her possessions in.
“I thought Jakob might be cold with the window broken out.”
He’d forgotten about that. The room was chilly, but vampires didn’t feel the cold like humans did. Though he was willing to bet that her motives weren’t all that altruistic. “And it has nothing to do with the fact that this is the biggest and best room in the house?”
“Why, I believe it is,” she laughed, as though it hadn’t occurred to her. “Don’t I deserve the best?”
“I’m sure it’s what you’re used to,” Bishop replied, going into the bathroom to wash his hands and face. The water was still icy cold, but hopefully by nightfall, they could look forward to hot showers.
Carys had ditched the robe by the time he was done, and lay under the covers, her breasts almost spilling out of the neck of her nightgown. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all? Briefly, he thought about going to sleep out on the couch in the great room, but instead, he kicked off his shoes and climbed atop the covers.
She pounced on him before he’d come to a complete stop. “Come now, you’re wearing far too many clothes. Let me help you with that.” She tugged at his t-shirt, but he deflected her touch.
“I’m comfortable like this, thanks.”
“Fine, I’ll help with the important parts.” She reached for his belt, and he batted her hand away again.
“No, thanks,” he said more firmly.
Carys sat back on her heels, looking down at him. “Bishop, I know we don’t remember all of what we were to each other, but I do remember I shared a bed with you. Don’t you?”
“Along with plenty of others,” he muttered.
“But you are the one I choose to lay beside me for all eternity, cariad. Let’s rekindle our love for one another.”
“I’m not in the mood, Carys.”
“Let’s see what we can do to change that.” She boldly laid her hand over his crotch, and he caught her by the wrist.
“I said I’m not in the mood. Why don’t you go see if Aubrey’s up to servicing you, I bet he’ll jump at the chance.”
“I do believe you’d enjoy that, sending me off to the arms of another man,” she pouted, tugging her wrist free.
“It’s not like you haven’t been there before.”
“It’s only a dalliance, cariad, it has nothing to do with my heart.” Her voice took on a soft, soothing tone, her hand resting on his che
st. “You always understood this. It was ever this way.”
That was part of what bothered him, that he’d accepted it like that. If he’d truly ever loved her, shouldn’t it have killed him to see her with another man? “Maybe I don’t understand it so well anymore.”
“You are saying you wish me to be loyal only to you? How romantic!” Her hands clapped together with delight.
“It is the general way it’s done,” he ground out under his breath.
“I think I like this possessiveness in you,” Carys smiled, leaning over to give him a generous view of her cleavage. “Shall we seal this pledge of our undying love?”
It wasn’t that she wasn’t tempting, but Bishop couldn’t muster up the least bit of interest in bedding her. “I told you, I’m tired, Carys. Let’s get some rest.”
She sat back, crestfallen. “You would leave me unsatisfied?”
“It won’t kill you to go without sex for one night. Not after your escapades with Aubrey and the gas station clerk.”
“You truly are jealous of him, aren’t you?”
That was just it. Bishop wasn’t jealous, not one bit. He didn’t like seeing it or thinking about it, but there wasn’t a possessive bone in his body toward Carys. Not anymore. All of his bones ached for another blonde.
Carys mistook his silence for something else, laying a chaste kiss to his cheek. “I forgive you, my sweet man. You may prove your love for me tomorrow.”
Tomorrow… anything could happen tomorrow. Bishop closed his eyes, putting an end to the conversation. “Goodnight, Carys.”
“Goodnight, Bishop.” For all her come-ons, Carys was out like a light within minutes, despite the fact that the sky was still dark outside. Bishop lay there staring up at the ceiling, his mind processing the crazy day.
Another memory slipped in, this one of Anja and him, standing in her kitchen.
“You don’t have to sit here and babysit me, I’ll be fine,” she said.
“I’m not trying to babysit you, I’m trying to be here for you. There’s a difference.” Now he cracked a smile. “Keeping you safe is just a bonus.”
She waggled a blood bag at him, but he shook his head with a wince, watching as she warmed up her blood in the microwave. How could she stand that stuff? It tasted like molten plastic. “You should think about keeping yourself safe,” Anja added. “Maybe it is for the best if you don’t go into work for a while? And I’m not saying that in an I’m selfishly keeping you by my side for a Lord of the Rings marathon on TV kind of thing, it’s purely a selfish keeping you alive kind of thing.”
God, she was adorable. While Bishop didn’t think he was in any personal danger, he wasn’t about to leave her alone. “Either way, I’m sticking by your side for the moment. Hobbits are optional.” Her faint smile almost broke his heart. They’d both lost a lot in the past twenty-four hours, but Bishop knew she felt things a lot deeper than he did. That part of him was still waking up, thanks to her. He’d lost comrades before, but she’d lost family.
“I love you, you know.”
He met her smile with a soft one of his own. “I love you too.”
“I’m sorry last night wasn’t quite what you had in mind for your first night spent sleeping over.”
“I’m just glad I got to hold you in my arms for another night.” The first of many to come, if he had anything to say about it.
The memory faded away, and Bishop played it over again in his mind. It hadn’t been a passing fancy, or a dalliance, like Carys liked to call it. It’d been love he felt for Anja, and she’d loved him too, he’d seen it in her eyes. He knew she was married to Rob now, and he was with Carys, but he had to know. Was there any part of that love left for him?
Slipping out of bed, he padded down the hall to Anja’s room, hesitating once he got there. Had he been planning to knock? Bishop didn’t have a plan, that was the problem – he hadn’t thought this through. What if he did and Rob came to the door? Well then, he’d just have to ask to talk to Anja in private and go from there. This was too important to leave to tomorrow, anything could happen by then, and he had to know if there was a chance, however small that she might still have feelings for him.
He raised his hand to knock, faltering as their combined laughter floated out to him, Rob’s a deep chuckle and Anja’s high and sweet. She sounded so happy. What the hell was he doing? What right did he have to upset that happiness now that she’d started to build her life again with Rob? His hand fell without knocking, and Bishop went back to the bedroom he shared with Carys, slipping under the covers. Somehow, he had to learn to put her out of his mind, even if he couldn’t seem to carve her out of his heart.
Chapter Nineteen
I couldn’t help it, I totally laughed at my own joke. Okay, so it wasn’t my joke, but it was my appropriate reference. Rob laughed with me, his whole face transforming from his usual reserve. I wanted to make him do it again, it felt like we needed more of that lightness in our lives.
“I haven’t laughed like that in a donkey’s age,” he chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes. “What’s it from?”
“Oh man, you haven’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy?” I gaped at him. “Are you sure we’re married?”
He laughed again, softer this time. “Can’t say as I have, though perhaps it’s one of those memories I’ve yet to recover.”
“We totally have to watch it when we get out of here then.” I had to own the Blu-ray, it was a moral imperative. Though I couldn’t recall what my DVD collection looked like at the moment, it was a safe bet I owned everything in the Marvel milieu. “I guess I can excuse amnesia,” I allowed. I picked up my tank top, fleece pants and fuzzy sleep socks and disappeared into the bathroom to change into them. “You know, I almost sort of envy you, getting to see it again for the first time.”
“It’s a date then,” he called out just as I came back into the room and caught him standing in his boxers, hanging up his suit jacket.
“No complaints here,” I murmured, taking in those muscular shoulders.
“None here neither,” he said with his half-smile as he turned around and climbed into bed.
I climbed in beside him, my fuzz covered toes pressing against his as I rolled onto my side to face him. “I guess we have a lot to figure out when we get out of here. A lot of firsts to share together until the rest of our memories come back.”
“I still say there’s no reason why we can’t start now,” he said, his hazel eyes staring deep into mine. “I know you’re keen to save Jakob, but we don’t know what that spell will do to us a second time. I don’t like to think what it’ll be like, you not remembering me again.”
I laid a hand over his. “It’ll be okay, I promise. We’re dealing with the gaps in our memory just fine now, aren’t we? I mean, how many people get to fall in love with each other twice?”
“Is that what you’re doing? Falling for me?”
“I think I might be,” I smiled, nudging my toes against his again. I did feel very close to him, and so far the memories I’d recovered had shown me how much we cared for each other in the past. Okay, so his temper could use a little work, but who didn’t have faults? And he loved me, that had to be the biggest aphrodisiac of all.
“I like the sound of that,” he smiled, leaning closer. “Any ideas what a fella could do to give you a nudge in the right direction?”
“I’m very amenable to nudging,” I replied, brushing my nose against his. “From the right person, of course.”
“Am I the right person?”
Unbidden, Bishop’s smile flitted through my head, and I closed my eyes, trying to shove it back from wherever it’d come from. “I want you to be,” I whispered against the corner of his mouth.
“Right then. One nudge, coming up,” he murmured, lips seeking mine. It was a soft, gentle kiss, more exploring than anything else. Already his taste was becoming familiar to me, the rasp of his whiskers against my chin, the feel of his hand ghosting across my
skin. It didn’t build or go anywhere, there were no demands or expectations, it was just a lovely, lovely kiss that left me aching for more. But Rob seemed determined not to push me, even if I could’ve stood a tad more nudging just then.
Somehow I ended up resting against his side, my finger tracing patterns on his chest, neither one of us especially talking, just holding each other. It was nice. I felt cozy and cherished, as if nothing in the outside world could touch us.
“Where do you want to go after we finish up here then?” he asked after a while. “We don’t have to go back to San Francisco, we can go anywhere in the world.”
“We live in San Francisco?” I propped my head up to look down at him, and he smiled.
“Yeah, haven’t you remembered it yet? It’s a big Victorian, plenty of bedrooms up top, but our rooms are in the basement.”
“We live in a creepy old basement?” It made sense for a vampire, but the idea of sleeping underground kind of wigged me out.
“Nah, there ain’t nothing creepy about it. It’s been completely remodeled, posh as anything.” Rob spent the next few minutes telling me about the decor, everything from the bathroom fixtures to the bedspread. I wished I could tell him it jogged something loose in my memory, but the truth was, I couldn’t remember any part of it. Gradually, I noticed his voice was growing fainter, as he told me about the gardens, and my office.
“It’s okay if you want to sleep now, it’s getting late,” I said, looking up to the sliver of growing light at the top edge of the heavy shuttered windows.
“I’d rather spend each moment with you.”
Aw, who would’ve thought such a quick temper would come up with such a tender sentiment? I laid a kiss to his raspy cheek. “That’s sweet, but I should probably get some sleep too. Besides, we have a lot of moments coming up for us. Forever is a long time.”
“Not as long as I used to think,” he murmured, and then he was out like a light.
The sun was moving higher overhead, I could feel it, even if I couldn’t understand it. My limbs felt pleasantly tired, but something kept me from snuggling in and falling right to sleep. I let the events of the day play through my mind, in no particular order, lingering on some of the more pleasant moments with Rob.
