by Lisa Olsen
Maeja slumped to the ground, the fight gone out of her. “You stole my child. You took her away from me.”
Jakob’s voice was full of wounded regret. “She was my child as well, Maeja, and you kept her from me for nearly two centuries. I have only the past year of memories to cherish.”
“No, she was my only constant, my only love. My darling girl.” She collapsed into sobs, weeping into her hands. “Now I am utterly alone.”
It was her own fault as far as Bishop was concerned, but he kept his mouth shut, carefully moving Anja to the edge of the room before Maeja decided to lash out again.
Jakob gathered Maeja into his arms with surprising tenderness. “No, I am here, älskling. I am with you,” he crooned into her hair, rocking her gently.
Ignoring their tearful reunion, Bishop focused on the gruesome task at hand. “Anja, can you hear me?” he asked gently, brushing the hair away from her forehead. Her shirt was soaked with blood, and he’d left a dripping trail from where she first fell. Her lips moved, but no sound came out, and he tried to take it as a good sign that she was still conscious, closing his heart to the fact that it meant she was in unbearable pain.
“I’m going to pull the dagger out, and it’s going to hurt. But then I’m going to give you Maeja’s blood, and that’ll fix you right up. Do you hear me? It’s only going to hurt for a few seconds.” He had no way of knowing if that was true or not, but he wanted to give her something to cling to when it got real bad.
Anja’s lips twitched, but that was the only response he got.
There was no way to be gentle, so Bishop went for fast, firmly grasping the dagger and pulling it out as straight as possible. Anja’s mouth opened in a silent scream as blood gushed from the open wound. Immediately, he emptied the contents of the vial into her mouth, holding her jaw carefully so she wouldn’t lose the precious elixir.
While he watched, the flow of blood lessened, the gaping wound closing far faster than a vampire’s accelerated healing would allow. The wild look in her eyes gradually faded, and her death grip on his hand eased. In the space of a few moments, the wound was nothing more than an angry scar, and Anja took in her first unlabored breath.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her whole body shaking as she coughed.
“Are you alright?” he asked softly, squeezing his hands against the tremor of adrenaline aftermath.
“I… I think so,” she frowned, taking in a deeper breath and swallowing. “I think I’m okay. What about you?”
“Me?” he laughed, fighting against the edge of hysteria. “I’m not the one who got skewered or had half the lifeforce drained out of me.”
“The curse,” she reminded him. “How do you feel? Is there any sign that it’s back in effect?”
Bishop took in a deep breath, testing his muscles, but everything seemed to be in working order. “I feel fine.”
“But that might change at any moment if Carys remembers that she loves you.”
“We’ll deal with that when we come to it. What about Rob? Do you want me to try and get him on the phone?”
She shook her head, pushing herself up to a seated position. “I don’t feel any love for him now. That might change when I get the rest of my memories back, but for now…”
“I can easily ensure this is the case.” Jakob was suddenly there, and Bishop realized that Maeja had left the hall.
“I didn’t ask…” she started to say, but Jakob didn’t hesitate.
“You don’t love Rob, and you never shall,” he said, his will easily overwriting hers. “There, it is done. I will compel the same of Carys the next time I see her, and we will be done with this.” The Ellri looked weary, despite the glow of good health. He reached out to brush Anja’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “Rest well, petal. I thank you for your efforts.”
Bishop stared after him, the anger banked deep inside him simmering to the top. “He had no fucking right to do that,” he growled, as soon as Jakob was gone.
“What’s the matter? I’d think you’d be relieved that he compelled me not to love Rob,” Anja frowned.
Didn’t she get it? “No one should have the power to take away love like that. What’s to stop him from doing it to someone else? To us? I’m starting to think it might’ve been better to…”
“To what? Let him die?” Her voice dropped to a whisper.
“It might’ve simplified things,” he shrugged. He was done letting Jakob dictate the course of their lives. As soon as night fell, he was going to take Anja out of there and hopefully never see the Ellri again. Bishop stood, offering her his hands. “Come on, let’s get you back to Nell’s house, it’s after dawn.”
“Do you think it’s safe there? What if Maeja decides to come after us?”
“I don’t think she will. I don’t think she’ll want to go into Nell’s place just yet. But we should leave town as soon as possible.”
“Fine by me,” Anja smiled, resting her head against his shoulder as he lifted her into his arms.
Bishop held her close, a wave of barely leashed emotion washing over him as he realized how close he’d come to losing her. He choked it down, afraid that if he let the smallest part of it loose, it’d explode everywhere. There was time enough to show her how she’d hurt him. First, he had to get her someplace safe, away from the deadly rays of the sun.
Chapter Thirty
Bishop carried me back to Nell’s house at super speed, so that I barely felt the warmth of the sun before we were safe in the darkened house. Though I was capable of walking, thanks to Maeja’s blood, he carried me all the way up to the bedroom, as though I was made of glass. He was gentle and tender with me, removing my ruined clothes and mopping up the blood with a damp towel, barely letting me do a thing for myself.
I felt like a sleepy child being put to bed way after bedtime the way he dressed me and tucked me under the covers.
“Do you need some of my blood?” he asked, even though I knew he must be beat.
“No, I think I just need to rest,” I replied, snuggling under the quilt. “You’re sleeping in here with me, right?”
“Yeah, in a minute,” he said, picking up my bloody clothes and wrapping them up in the towel. I should’ve noticed there was a nervous energy to his movements, but I was too wiped out to pick up on it.
Instead, I stretched out on the bed, pleasantly drowsy. “I’m glad everything worked out okay,” I sighed in contentment.
“Okay?” He choked on the word, anger flaring. “You went there to die, Anja. How could you do that to me? How could you possibly agree to go through with that obscene ritual?” His hands clenched into tight fists until the knuckles stood out white against the skin, like he wanted to hit me for making him feel that way.
I gaped at him, any words dying on my tongue in the face of his hurt. He’d been so calm, so in control since I’d received Maeja’s blood, I’d been dumb enough to think that it’d erased the impotent fury I’d seen on his face as he’d pounded on the magical barrier. Boy, was I stupid. “I-I told you, I owed Jakob for taking my place in the ritual to break the curse. It was my decision.”
“No, you’re wrong. It’s not all about you. Don’t you get what it’d do to me to lose you like that?”
“Like you said, everybody dies. You’d recover, and…”
“I’d recover?” His face crumpled with disbelief, shaking his head as he gave a fast blink. His fist jackhammered out, striking the wall in a shower of plaster that made me jump. But when he spoke, his voice was quiet, almost soft. “Yes, everybody dies, but you are not everybody,” he said slowly, carefully. “Anja, you are everything to me.”
“You just remember bits and pieces, you think…”
“I’m not talking about memories, I’m talking about what I feel. I love you now, Anja. Not what we were, not what we shared in the past. Now. I thought you loved me too.”
“I do love you.” Apparently I’d seriously misjudged the depth of his feelings for me, and I hated that I�
��d been too chicken to get my memories back. How could I make him understand I’d never wanted to hurt him? “I just… I couldn’t take the idea of Jakob dying in my place.”
“You couldn’t take the idea of Jakob dying in your place, but you had no trouble ripping my heart out?” Bishop paced along the edge of the room, rubbing the back of his scalp, as if he couldn’t sit still for one instant.
Climbing out of bed, I tried to get him to stop and look at me, but he wouldn’t quit pacing. “I wanted to do the right thing,” I said in a small voice, feeling hopelessly inept.
“Doing the right thing means thinking of someone other than yourself when you make life or death decisions. Because like it or not, you dying affects me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Well, you did. This goes way beyond upset.” Bishop sat on the edge of the bed, hands covering his face as if trying to wipe away the misery.
“I’m sorry.” I went to him, inserting myself between his legs to wrap my arms around him. “I’m sorry,” I repeated, my voice throbbing with sincerity. It killed me to see him like this, and it sliced me straight to the heart that I hadn’t given his feelings the weight they deserved. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” His arms coiled around my waist, burying his face against my middle as I held him. “I wasn’t thinking straight, I guess. I won’t do it again.”
“You’re damned right you won’t,” he growled, looking up at me with those green eyes blazing with possession. “I might not remember much, but I know you’re mine, and I won’t lose you. Not for Jakob or anyone else.”
“I know, I get it now. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just don’t ever do that to me again.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
He didn’t simply accept that and let it go. “I mean it, Anja. I love that you’re a good, selfless person who puts others before herself, but I want you to remember this moment the next time you get one of these hare-brained ideas. Remember that what you do affects me just as much as it affects you.”
“I will,” I nodded. “I do love you, Bishop. I do.” I kissed him then, eager to smooth away the pain. His kiss was hungry, as if wanting to prove to himself that I was truly there, alive in his arms. Despite the fact that the sun was already high in the sky, we came together with a mixture of desperation and tenderness.
It was less about sexual fulfillment and more about a need to be whole in a way that only the two of us together could be. For me, I wanted to show Bishop that I really did love him, and I think he felt the need to dominate me, to exert control when he’d felt so helpless before. Or maybe it was to celebrate that we were both still together, and we’d fought to live another day. I did feel much closer to him when we lay sated and panting in each other’s arms, the daylight beginning to take its toll.
“It is sad about Nelleke though,” I said, sighing into his chest.
“She should’ve let him die,” Bishop replied, his voice already sounding distant. “She gave up her life, and for what? So Jakob could keep throwing his weight around? Jakob should feel ashamed for living at the expense of his daughter.”
“He didn’t know she was going to do that, he was unconscious. Maeja’s the one who should feel ashamed. If she’d given Jakob her blood in the first place, none of this would’ve happened.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s hope she’s figured that out and doesn’t hold a grudge.”
I was too tired to think of all the ways she could make our lives a living hell if she did. Instead, I sank into a deep, dreamless sleep, safe in Bishop’s arms.
*
Bishop wasn’t there when I woke, but with Mason and Hanna sleeping peacefully next door, I tried not to worry that it was a bad sign. Jakob wasn’t in his room either, but I found him downstairs, sitting at the kitchen table by an empty cup, staring off into space.
“Hi. Do you know where Bishop got off to?” I asked, putting the kettle on to make us each a fresh cup of tea.
“He went off to hunt in the woods. He cares not for sheep’s blood.”
“Oh.” That made sense. I’d probably be hungrier myself if I hadn’t had some of his blood the night before during sexy time. “And how are you feeling?” I asked, taking a seat opposite him.
“I am as I was before. Fine and strong, and utterly alone in the world,” he said with a heavy sigh that didn’t feel like he was having a pity party; he truly believed it.
“You’re not alone, Jakob.”
His lips twitched into a faint smile. “That is kind of you to say, but I know very well that I am. You will soon depart with Bishop, Carys could not be troubled to save my life, my daughter is gone, and her mother wishes me dead. I think you’d have to agree that I am, indeed, alone.”
“You don’t have to be. There’s no reason why you can’t make a connection with someone. Get out there, meet some new people. Not people who are obligated to you by blood, but people who want to be around you for yourself.”
He shook his head. “I have spent my life surrounding myself with those who are obligated to me by blood, as you said. There is a reason why I do so. You would not have stayed with me if I hadn’t turned you, petal.”
But I hadn’t stayed with him even after he turned me, had I? “I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to comment when I don’t remember that part of my life. Do you?” He certainly spoke as if he did.
“Yes, my memory has been restored.”
“It has?” I brightened at that. With Nelleke gone, I’d already been selfishly thinking we’d be stuck remembering our lives bit by bit. “How did you manage that?”
“I went to see the local wisewoman. She gave me a draught that restored my mind.”
“That sounds easy enough.” All I could think was I wouldn’t shy away from the opportunity to get my memories back again. I wanted those memories, both good and bad. I didn’t want to make another mistake and hurt Bishop again.
“It was harder than you would think.”
I got up to pour out the hot water as the kettle began to whistle. “What do you mean? Was it gross? Did it make you gag?” My face twisted in sympathy.
“No, I meant only that reliving so many years, so many choices, so many consequences… it was not an easy thing. It’s time to rethink my life. My purpose.”
“What was your purpose before?”
He let out a short bark of laughter. “I had none but my own pleasure.”
“Then you’re right, this is probably a good time for self reflection,” I allowed, adding the tea to steep. “Where will you go now?”
“I will stay on and be here for Maeja for the time being.”
That was a surprise. “I thought she wanted you dead?”
“She does, and I would be a willing target for that anger, to help leech it from her body. Maeja needs someone, just as I do. For the moment, we are all that each other has. I shall try to help her try to make another connection as you said. Otherwise, I fear she will never leave this vale again.”
It seemed out of character for the Jakob I knew, in my limited experience. Maybe he had sincerely changed? “How long will you stay?”
“As long as she needs me to. I owe her this.”
I was silent as I poured out the tea through the strainer, setting the fragrant brew before each of us. It was sad that it took Nelleke dying to prompt this kind of change, but I respected him for taking his second chance at life seriously. I intended to do the same. I also didn’t want him to feel like he was alone in the world, even if we’d be leaving him behind.
Covering his hand as it reached for his mug, I gave it a squeeze. “Jakob, I’m glad you’re rethinking the man you want to be, but I want you to know that we’re still family. If you need me for anything, anything at all, just call me, and I’ll come. Unless it’s to be a sacrifice for something, because I got my butt handed to me for volunteering last night. I’m definitely not allowed to do something like that again,” I added with a rueful grin that he ret
urned.
“Yes, I heard.”
“You did?”
“You were not discreet, both in your argument, and in your reconciliation.”
My ears got suddenly hot. “Sorry,” I mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in my chair.
“Don’t be,” he chuckled, patting my hand before he raised the mug to his lips. “Bishop is right. You shouldn’t have made such a foolhardy decision. If I’d been conscious, I never would’ve allowed it.” He took a careful sip of the hot brew. “That being said, I appreciate the sentiment. You may ask a boon of me, anything you desire.”
“A boon? I didn’t do it for any favors.”
“Still, you have only to ask.”
A boon from Jakob? The mind boggled. “Ask me again after I have my memory back.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Bishop decided that he wanted to see the spell in action before he agreed to try himself, and he wouldn’t allow me to be the guinea pig either. Even though I argued that it’d worked fine on Jakob, he was leery of trusting anyone in the village after word spread of Nelleke’s death. Never mind the fact that news had also traveled of Jakob’s return, and the people followed him around like children wherever he went.
Hanna was only too happy to volunteer though, and we gathered at the wisewoman’s house, which looked just like any of the other houses in town, no mud thatched hut or furniture made of bones. The potion was bubbling over the fire in a cast iron cauldron though, how shiny was that? I narrowly resisted the urge to take a picture of it with my phone.
Jakob was there to translate, though Bishop understood most of the Norwegian dialect. At the woman’s direction, Hanna sat in the middle of a heavily embroidered cloth with runes stitched into the sides. She smudged the air around Hanna with a fragrant bundle of burning herbs, chanting something under her breath in a singsong voice. And then it was time for her to drink the brew, it was as simple as that.
“Bottoms up,” Hanna said with a nervous smile, saluting the rest of us with her cup before she drank it down. Her throat worked as she swallowed, and she looked almost disappointed when she got to the bottom. “That wasn’t so ba….” Hanna’s eyes drooped and she swayed where she sat, nearly falling over before she recovered her balance. “Wowsa, that packs quite a punch,” she murmured, her hand going to her head. And then she passed out.
